It is a breezy spring evening. 'A' and his friends are roaming around on the green grass at the park. The ground is soft.
Friend B(thinking): Hmm. This looks just about right. I wonder
Friend C(Thinking): Who should it be? Who should it be? Who?
Friend D (Hmmm)
The four attack A, and pin him to the ground. C climbs unto A, B throws all his weight on C, and D simply sleeps over C.
B, C, and D(in unison): Peeda, Peeda. Haha, you bugger you thought we wouldn't get you?
D: But we gotcha? Haha. Now you stay in this Hell for 5 minutes.
A: What? Bah? You guys think this is painful?
(Breathes heavily and starts to choke)
You losers this is nothing. You guys wait. You just wait... You people will soon be praying you had never gotten out of your mommies. [struggles, but the struggle proves futile. starts breathing more heavily] Okay, I'll give you poor sods a chance, okay? You guys leave me now, and I wont avenge this. How's that for a deal.
B: [slightly panting] Yeaahh.. Haha dream on idiot. You're not gonna go that easily, okay? Oh, oh so this not enough for ya? Well lets see you will do now... [Shouts] Heyy guyss, guyss! You peeps interested? We are giving peeda to A.
3 guys come over and throw themselves into the pile.
A: Not Cool. NOT COOL!
B: Heh, so you're giving up, loser. Okaay guys cool it, okay? I think it's getting a little too much. Even I am having a hard time breathing.
[the pile breaks up, but not before everyone wrestles the other, not intimately, though. After five minutes of kicking pushing, pulling, and squeezing one another, everyone's tired, sweating panting.]
E: Hey guys, it was fun right? We should do it again!
C: Yeah, it sure was. Lets do it again tomorrow?
Everyone [thinking]: Oh man, that was rough. I probably got the most bruises, and I am probably bleeding too. I am definitely not coming. I might become impotent within a week if I do this every day.
[Aloud]
Yeah, yeah, great idea, man. We definitely should do this everyday.
Most of them return the following day, and get even more bruised.
Chatpate Unlimited
Chatpate (Origin unknown) has to be one of the greatest contributions of Nepali Civilization(heh, 'civilized'?), along with Momo(Origin: Ancient Tibet). Of course, that's not saying much, because there's not much Nepalis have given to the world, but still, Chatpate deserves it.
The very process of creation of the delicacy(for me, anyways), is intriguing. Take a handful of muri(puffed rice), some lemon juice, chillies, secret sauce, green garnishing, and whatever sour/salty/spicy you can find, and mix well. It should be wet, but not so much that muri gets all flimsy. Pour the contents in a paper-cone, add a few pieces of cardboard that will serve as 'spoons', and you are good to go.
Mothers will disagree, of course. For them, the muri used by the chatpatewallahs is old and cheap, and probably contaminated by TB organisms.
"Lemon maybe good for you when you have cold, but used here, they become harmful ingredients that will certainly give you ulcers, chillies are just as bad, and chilly powder is powdered brick mixed with something spicy. The green garnishing is probably rotten too," they will say.
However, the ingredient that gets the most complaints is definitely the secret sauce, because--duh-- its secret.
It's surprising how the chatpatewallahs never reveal their recipe for the sauce, even when it's not particularly good. Even when they do reveal the recipe, they are probably lying, because you can NEVER make the sauce that tastes exactly the same. So what's up will all the secrecy? WHY do they have to hide the recipe as if its the 7X formula for coke. It should be that difficult to figure it out? Nepali mothers argue that those recipe are secrets because they have inedible-but-tasty ingredients in them.
The main complaint mothers have about the sauce is the water it is based on. Do the poor chatpatewallahs really buy expensive mineral water as the base, which they claim, or do they use any water they can get hands on: cheap and no-hassles? The dirty, dirty water could contain anything, and by anything mothers argue that the possibilities are unlimited
The mothers are probably right--they usually are. But will that stop their children, aged anywhere from 7 to 27 from going to the chatpatewallahs and eating the contaminated chatpates which probably have more number of species of harmful organisms than different ingredients in them? Probably not. Why? Because the Chatpates are so frikkin' damn good, and you cannot resist them. They are like Coke, but without the hassle of having to meet the dealers in secret alleys, and the ever-present possibility of getting caught by the cops and having to rat put the entire gang, only to be shot dead the moment you are free from prison. GO CHATPATE!
The very process of creation of the delicacy(for me, anyways), is intriguing. Take a handful of muri(puffed rice), some lemon juice, chillies, secret sauce, green garnishing, and whatever sour/salty/spicy you can find, and mix well. It should be wet, but not so much that muri gets all flimsy. Pour the contents in a paper-cone, add a few pieces of cardboard that will serve as 'spoons', and you are good to go.
Mothers will disagree, of course. For them, the muri used by the chatpatewallahs is old and cheap, and probably contaminated by TB organisms.
"Lemon maybe good for you when you have cold, but used here, they become harmful ingredients that will certainly give you ulcers, chillies are just as bad, and chilly powder is powdered brick mixed with something spicy. The green garnishing is probably rotten too," they will say.
However, the ingredient that gets the most complaints is definitely the secret sauce, because--duh-- its secret.
It's surprising how the chatpatewallahs never reveal their recipe for the sauce, even when it's not particularly good. Even when they do reveal the recipe, they are probably lying, because you can NEVER make the sauce that tastes exactly the same. So what's up will all the secrecy? WHY do they have to hide the recipe as if its the 7X formula for coke. It should be that difficult to figure it out? Nepali mothers argue that those recipe are secrets because they have inedible-but-tasty ingredients in them.
The main complaint mothers have about the sauce is the water it is based on. Do the poor chatpatewallahs really buy expensive mineral water as the base, which they claim, or do they use any water they can get hands on: cheap and no-hassles? The dirty, dirty water could contain anything, and by anything mothers argue that the possibilities are unlimited
The mothers are probably right--they usually are. But will that stop their children, aged anywhere from 7 to 27 from going to the chatpatewallahs and eating the contaminated chatpates which probably have more number of species of harmful organisms than different ingredients in them? Probably not. Why? Because the Chatpates are so frikkin' damn good, and you cannot resist them. They are like Coke, but without the hassle of having to meet the dealers in secret alleys, and the ever-present possibility of getting caught by the cops and having to rat put the entire gang, only to be shot dead the moment you are free from prison. GO CHATPATE!
The Beijing Olympics, Politics and the Media
Hello, This is 8th August of the year 2008 and the time is 8.08. Know what it is? The Olympic Games are being formally opened by the Chinese president in Beijing. The program will be dubbed by global media as the 'Grandest Ceremony Ever' and 'Dwarfing the Athens Games'. A very important event that deserves some coverage, you might say. Forgive them, but the American media begs to differ.
NBC network has promised 3600 hours of coverage of the Olympics. That's good, so what about its counterparts? The majority of the American networks that I watched preferred the war in Georgia than the Olympics. Nothing wrong with that. Absolutely fine. If you feel that death of humans in a war should get more media coverage than a freak-show where billions of Yuans have been spent, I'm probably with you.
Oh, but they covered the Olympics too. Surprise! Not so much when they show Tibetan dissidents in Nepal, Taiwanese protesting the Olympics, Professors saying Olympics should have been boycotted, and the 60's hippie-style protesters in France and the US demanding something from China, I don't know what, maybe better heath service or social security..., instead of the actual scenes from the 'Bird's Nest'. I thought there was some sort of rule in journalism that when you are covering an event, you should, as a bare minimum show at least some scenes from the place where it is taking place. Turns out I was wrong. Jackie Chan said, 'Jade, there is no honor among thieves!' I don't know about thieves, but of News Networks I am sure.
Oh, but they covered the Olympics too. Surprise! Not so much when they show Tibetan dissidents in Nepal, Taiwanese protesting the Olympics, Professors saying Olympics should have been boycotted, and the 60's hippie-style protesters in France and the US demanding something from China, I don't know what, maybe better heath service or social security..., instead of the actual scenes from the 'Bird's Nest'. I thought there was some sort of rule in journalism that when you are covering an event, you should, as a bare minimum show at least some scenes from the place where it is taking place. Turns out I was wrong. Jackie Chan said, 'Jade, there is no honor among thieves!' I don't know about thieves, but of News Networks I am sure.
Don't get me wrong. I see from their point of view too. And to be a bit more truthful, there were scenes from Beijing, of the Olympics day. Yes, there were several interviews of the locals and the fireworks and fanfare got some air-time too. They seem to be forgetting their hardheadedness, I thought as I watched those clips. I was wrong.
The fireworks clips apparently had been shown to prove that air pollution in Beijing was reaching unprecedented hazardous levels and the fireworks of the opening ceremony opening ceremony had increased it even more. It was argued that it could be dangerous to the athletes. Some doctors were brought in to tell that performance could decrease drastically in such conditions and that the lungs could be permanently damaged. It seems health officials from the American team were watching the program instead of the ole' boring displays in the Bird's Nest stadium. The American athletes were issued masks some three hours after the ceremony had ended.
Yay! Patriotic media saves the day again!
I am no Hu Jintao supporter. I don't believe in communism, or autocracy or dictatorship. Suppression of any minority will lead only to further problems, I have seen it in my country. What the Chinese government is doing in Tibet, Taiwan, Africa and other places could be wrong, I cannot say. I am not sure. Neither are the 1 billion Chinese who are not in the communist party. However, I am sure that ignoring Olympics like the Japanese or some American networks is not the right way to deal with it and so are a billion Chinese. With political issues, one is fighting against the Chinese government, the regime in China. With Olympics, one is going against all the Chinese in the world. It is a matter of pride for them, a sign that their country is progressing, that they are moving forward. Mess with it and the wrath of almost a third of the world's population will be upon you.
People have problems with what China is doing. They protest against it. It is their right and they may do whatever they wish to, unless it messes with others' rights. Where they go wrong is in their inability to distinguish between 'China' and 'Chinese'. When they don't get the fact that they are hurting the Chinese when in reality they have problem with China, they are in deep trouble. The Chinese are not China because they don't have same views and ideas and disagree with each other. They, like everyone else, have their own perspective on things that is not the same as their friends' or the people in the government. In that sense, the Chinese are not united and when one speaks against a certain Chinese policy, a lot of Chinese are sure to support, even though they may not be heard. However, when you speak against the Chinese in general, no Chinese is going to be with you. All the 1.5 bn Chinese around the globe will fight you. Olympics signifies the Chinese spirit, the spirit of a billion people who have seen hard times and are glad it's all over. If one should dare to tease them, he should be ready to bear the consequences. When almost a third of the world's population is after you, things are not going to go good for you, whoever you may be, whatever you may have.
As they say, 'Never tickle a Sleeping Dragon's Nose.'
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