Why People Swim--Mystery Resolved

There is a reason earthworms come out of earth when it rains—water is a dangerous substance to be in. Sure, it’s good to drink it and bath in it, but go deep inside water, and no one knows your fate for sure. The earthworms, after hundreds of thousands of evolutionary wisdom that has taught them to keep the heck away from lots of water know this lesson well. Human beings, in their haughtiness and all of their so-called wisdom, don’t.

The swimming pool is the stupidest idea human beings have ever come up with. You get into a large puddle of water and flap your arms and legs around. You then try getting from one end to other, several times slower than walking, and come out feeling proud and strong. The swimming’s no match for the fishes, the panting no match for the dogs, and the struggling in water no match for a man drowning in the sea.

Perhaps people want to practice swimming in the sea in their own homes.  Since they cannot have their own sea, maybe they try to have something similar. But if that is the case, the idea is even more stupid, because swimming in a poor is nothing like swimming in the sea. A sea is salty, it has fish, it has wave, it has beach, it has ship, and it has motorboats that look like motorbikes. A swimming pool has a neither of those, so swimming in a pool to practice swimming in the sea is like reciting the Greek alphabet as a practice for uninterrupted recitations of Homer’s Iliad in original form. Nothing alike.

Maybe it is a form of entertainment. That I cannot believe because if it were so, no man would go swimming. Men know of much better forms of entertainment than stupid swimming, as anyone from a place with television and something to play on it will agree.

That leaves us with only one possibility—men swim to show women their bodies and their swimming prowess. Women swim because they think doing it will decrease their weight. They keep on doing it, only to realize that it’s not decreasing their weight even a bit. However, they are too proud to give up, so they keep on swimming and pretend they really enjoy it. Meanwhile, mean think it is stupid too, but they too pretend to enjoy it, since they want to prove that they don’t do everything for the women. AT one point the pretending becomes so innate that people actually forget that they are pretending to enjoy and think that they are actually enjoying swimming.

And that is how the swimwear companies make so much money.