I was so mad at you,
She tells me,
I wrote a poem.
And I
Love her
even more.
The unnamed character
Imagine a pink flamingo eating a large struggling fish on the lake outside your window. There's a couple over there, in an extended embrace, and you think it's seven O' clock in the morning-- you could be doing other things. But people are always like that, so you put on a white towel, close the curtains and go for a quick shower.
The shower lasts longer than your expectations-- where the fuck is the hot water getting here from anyway, the depths of mount Erebus?-- so you're somewhat pissed at the Universe when you put shorts on and turn to the BBC on tv.
Tires burning, police, women falling, protests, like always. It's seven in the morning, it is not the time for pay-per-view, you remind yourself, as you mindlessly turn channels. When did that stupid cartoon character--was it a duck(?)-- get its own fucking cooking show anyway. It's so weird for an actual-actual cartoon to teach other cartoons to cook. The debutante Indian actress has hit the ceiling with her first release, apparently, and she's not of the sexy persuasion. She must have something in her, or the director/producers wouldn't have slept with her to pick her. Hrithik Roshan's marriage is in the rocks, after he was seen hanging around with an almost-minor struggler. Woh meri behen jaisi hey, I'm offended by the accusations, and I will take all legal actions against the rumormongerers. Yeah, balooney, din mein bhaiya raat mein saiiyaan.
The newspaper has a full-frontpage ad-- real estate; feel like a king, live in your palace, etcetcetc. The AC gets too cold, so you turn it off and open the windows. Cuckoos and crickets and frogs are all resting their vocal chords for the day and the night-- you can hear the flamingos croaking, and splashing into water for fishes.
So she has been hanging around a lot with the asshole artist. She's naive-- the three boyfriends, and whatever you were didn't really teach her a lot-- and he's manipulative. You did try to stop them, down there in Anjuna beach and she seemed smitten. Smitten, yaar, fucking smitten. And you'd think California would've gotten in more sense into her.
Everyone else is at the lounge, getting their coffee, checking emails, comparing bargains, checking people out. It's raining. There's only one thing to do today-- get together in someone's room and play cards all day, and finish the smuggled scotch from London. There's too little time to do anything.
She wants to stay in Kathmandu. At least a couple of years yaar. You guys spent your lives there, maile mero ghar ni hernu payena, hajurama sanga time ni bitaunu paena. And there's s much potential you know, with such a rich culture, so much is unexplored. That's what she keeps saying. If she'd agreed to take the part-time teaching job at the University, she would've made enough money to start her own little indie studio. Listen, hai. There's a lot of people who graduated hamro college bata who don't make thatmuch money full-time. And once you have something going on, and people working for you, you can spend the rest of your time doing whatever the fuckingshit you want to. She isn't the advice-taking kind. She wanted to do it now, and nothing would stop her.
Oii, sunn na, you call the one with the big blue earrings, tyo hijo ko keta ko re, restaurant ko?
Ehh that? Drishya bhanne ho kere. Some kind of artist re... She's got his book.
The shower lasts longer than your expectations-- where the fuck is the hot water getting here from anyway, the depths of mount Erebus?-- so you're somewhat pissed at the Universe when you put shorts on and turn to the BBC on tv.
Tires burning, police, women falling, protests, like always. It's seven in the morning, it is not the time for pay-per-view, you remind yourself, as you mindlessly turn channels. When did that stupid cartoon character--was it a duck(?)-- get its own fucking cooking show anyway. It's so weird for an actual-actual cartoon to teach other cartoons to cook. The debutante Indian actress has hit the ceiling with her first release, apparently, and she's not of the sexy persuasion. She must have something in her, or the director/producers wouldn't have slept with her to pick her. Hrithik Roshan's marriage is in the rocks, after he was seen hanging around with an almost-minor struggler. Woh meri behen jaisi hey, I'm offended by the accusations, and I will take all legal actions against the rumormongerers. Yeah, balooney, din mein bhaiya raat mein saiiyaan.
The newspaper has a full-frontpage ad-- real estate; feel like a king, live in your palace, etcetcetc. The AC gets too cold, so you turn it off and open the windows. Cuckoos and crickets and frogs are all resting their vocal chords for the day and the night-- you can hear the flamingos croaking, and splashing into water for fishes.
So she has been hanging around a lot with the asshole artist. She's naive-- the three boyfriends, and whatever you were didn't really teach her a lot-- and he's manipulative. You did try to stop them, down there in Anjuna beach and she seemed smitten. Smitten, yaar, fucking smitten. And you'd think California would've gotten in more sense into her.
Everyone else is at the lounge, getting their coffee, checking emails, comparing bargains, checking people out. It's raining. There's only one thing to do today-- get together in someone's room and play cards all day, and finish the smuggled scotch from London. There's too little time to do anything.
She wants to stay in Kathmandu. At least a couple of years yaar. You guys spent your lives there, maile mero ghar ni hernu payena, hajurama sanga time ni bitaunu paena. And there's s much potential you know, with such a rich culture, so much is unexplored. That's what she keeps saying. If she'd agreed to take the part-time teaching job at the University, she would've made enough money to start her own little indie studio. Listen, hai. There's a lot of people who graduated hamro college bata who don't make thatmuch money full-time. And once you have something going on, and people working for you, you can spend the rest of your time doing whatever the fuckingshit you want to. She isn't the advice-taking kind. She wanted to do it now, and nothing would stop her.
Oii, sunn na, you call the one with the big blue earrings, tyo hijo ko keta ko re, restaurant ko?
Ehh that? Drishya bhanne ho kere. Some kind of artist re... She's got his book.
Discovery
Greetings everyone. I am David, and I shall be your host for the first part of the conference.
As you are all aware, we are gathered here for one of the biggest revelations of human sexuality, that comes right after the discovery that storks and bees don't a baby make. light laughter. Majority of what we will talk today revolves around work done by Prof. Shoylendra and his team, and the facts they have been uncovering for the last (checks paper) seven years.
As all of us know, Prof. Shoylendra has been working on the field of human sexuality for the last 23 years. I have myself been fortunate to have been able to work with him for the last seven years. In all those years, the lab has researched into the physio-chemical changes that take place in and around the human body during sexual activities.
As one might imagine, this is an extremely difficult topic of study. First, the matter of how to generate truly sexual feelings inside a controlled environment without invoking certain er.. fetishes is a problem in itself. Secondly, we always have teams of interns dealing over morality and ethics issues, as the proper documentation of sexual activity always seems to treading an invisible boundary of ethics. The sad state of science today is such that the entire world can watch people involving in sexual activities for entertainment legally, but it is next to impossible to obtain proper documentation for a couple of researches to view and use sensors to quantify the same sexual activities.nervous laughter from audience. And then there's the question of what counts as sex and what not, which is an entireely different field, BillClinton jokes notwithstanding.
We at the lab had a perfect experiment going on, with expected results and something new coming up once in a while to keep us employed and busy until about eight years ago. We were basically turning sex into a bunch of graphs and numbers-- like a really realllly complicated chemical or physical reaction. The lines we were getting were fine lines and curves and everything was happy and well.
Until eight years ago that is. This one day, an intern at the lab noted an anomaly, and suggested the procedure be repeated with the same controls. As you might imagine, these things things take time and hard work, no pun intended, (waves of undignified laughter), and we finally repeated the procedure four months after the original observation of anomaly. The second time, the anomaly was more pronounced.
Our first guess was that we'd obviously made some systematic experimental error that was disturbing our observations of that kind. So we calibrated and re calibrated our instruments with existing rock-solid data and repeated the procedure. Very similar effects to the second case. The Prof. Shoylendra realized something might be up, and started an unplanned series of tests with this particular control.
As you might have already guessed, there was something quite wrong about it. The numbers we had been getting had never been recorded ever before in the history of science, and we didn't even know what they meant, with the available theory. To reveal the actual experimentation and the results, I would like to invite Prof. Shoylendra himself, the man of the hour!
As you are all aware, we are gathered here for one of the biggest revelations of human sexuality, that comes right after the discovery that storks and bees don't a baby make. light laughter. Majority of what we will talk today revolves around work done by Prof. Shoylendra and his team, and the facts they have been uncovering for the last (checks paper) seven years.
As all of us know, Prof. Shoylendra has been working on the field of human sexuality for the last 23 years. I have myself been fortunate to have been able to work with him for the last seven years. In all those years, the lab has researched into the physio-chemical changes that take place in and around the human body during sexual activities.
As one might imagine, this is an extremely difficult topic of study. First, the matter of how to generate truly sexual feelings inside a controlled environment without invoking certain er.. fetishes is a problem in itself. Secondly, we always have teams of interns dealing over morality and ethics issues, as the proper documentation of sexual activity always seems to treading an invisible boundary of ethics. The sad state of science today is such that the entire world can watch people involving in sexual activities for entertainment legally, but it is next to impossible to obtain proper documentation for a couple of researches to view and use sensors to quantify the same sexual activities.nervous laughter from audience. And then there's the question of what counts as sex and what not, which is an entireely different field, BillClinton jokes notwithstanding.
We at the lab had a perfect experiment going on, with expected results and something new coming up once in a while to keep us employed and busy until about eight years ago. We were basically turning sex into a bunch of graphs and numbers-- like a really realllly complicated chemical or physical reaction. The lines we were getting were fine lines and curves and everything was happy and well.
Until eight years ago that is. This one day, an intern at the lab noted an anomaly, and suggested the procedure be repeated with the same controls. As you might imagine, these things things take time and hard work, no pun intended, (waves of undignified laughter), and we finally repeated the procedure four months after the original observation of anomaly. The second time, the anomaly was more pronounced.
Our first guess was that we'd obviously made some systematic experimental error that was disturbing our observations of that kind. So we calibrated and re calibrated our instruments with existing rock-solid data and repeated the procedure. Very similar effects to the second case. The Prof. Shoylendra realized something might be up, and started an unplanned series of tests with this particular control.
As you might have already guessed, there was something quite wrong about it. The numbers we had been getting had never been recorded ever before in the history of science, and we didn't even know what they meant, with the available theory. To reveal the actual experimentation and the results, I would like to invite Prof. Shoylendra himself, the man of the hour!
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