Scientific Curiosities explained

So, what really happens if Pinocchio says ‘This statement is a lie’?

Will his nose grow big, because it’s a lie? Or will it not, since he is telling the truth that the statement is a lie? Perhaps, the fabric of space-time continuum will rip apart because the universe is not sure about what to, and instead of admitting that it cannot find a solution and that it has lost to a simple wordplay and fallacy, it decides to destroy itself.

Such questions are intriguing. For example, there’s the chicken-egg question. The answer is much simpler than it’s made out to be, of course. The egg came first, because you have eggs in the morning and chicken in the evening. Unless you have chicken for breakfast and eggs for supper, in which case the answer will be just the opposite. But then, you would not be bothered by the answer; all the high-fat chicken you will have had in the morning will have given you enough heart diseases to make you permanently give a damn about stupid philosophical questions with stupid implications, which have no application in the real life.

There are other questions you should be more concerned about. For example, did the old Nepali royal family like fish or chicken more? Did they fart too? Do ghosts fart? What happens if you put your hand between the blades of a moving fan? Why can’t anyone take his head out of a vehicle without getting reprimanded every time?

Scientists and philosophers alike should work on finding answers to questions like these instead on working on their so-called ‘research’. The topics of those researches sound more like jokes than something academic. Einstein’s research where he proved everything is relative (no, he didn’t) was called ‘Dancing with fat ladies—A conundrum facing Swiss youths, and the solution to the problem’. To avoid dancing with his fat aunt Marybel, he pretended to be working on something  serious, and one day accidently stumbled across all those theories that have revolutionised the way we look at fat ladies and their dancing partners.

Newton was no genius either. You might have heard the apocryphal story about apple and gravity, but that never happened. What really happened was, he had asked for a nice cup of English tea, but instead was given the recently-discovered-in-India curry gravy. The waiter was French, so to be clear, he said ‘No, gravy, tea. Gravy-tea.’ The Frenchman misheard it ‘gravity’ and thus did the law of gravitation come to practice.