The internet was down this one day on campus, so I did this on mspaint. I meant to post it earlier, but just didn't have the courage to. No pun intended, absolutely.
The good witch
Witches are stereotyped as manifestations of evil. Read Terry Pratchett and you'll know better. Witches are inherently good, except a few exceptional black hats.
The internet was down this one day on campus, so I did this on mspaint. I meant to post it earlier, but just didn't have the courage to. No pun intended, absolutely.
The internet was down this one day on campus, so I did this on mspaint. I meant to post it earlier, but just didn't have the courage to. No pun intended, absolutely.
Hip, Hip
This is to all the people who've been helping me get through all the madness there is. The level of madness just amped up, for me and for you too. Thanks for everything, all you people. You know who you are.
New Optical Illusions
You see a cloud. When you turn your head around, you still see a cloud. When you squint your eyes and look at it, it still looks like a cloud. Now your neighbor who worships the baba tells you it looks like him. When you look at it again you see your third-grade classmate making out with your college roommate in your study room, messing up your books and spilling your hidden stash of study wine.
Harry Potter as a hero. This is the most disturbing illusion, so I advise you check it out only if you're certainly certain you can handle it.
A stranger. You are positive you've never heard/seen him before. She tells you that's her brother. He is still a stranger. Then you meet him seven years later, and you find out he's the first person that speaks your language you've met in two years. You go for drinks to an expensive bar, and talk about things-- his sister surprisingly never comes in the conversation. He leaves with someone from the dance floor, you go back to your wife. He is still a stranger. You realize that it was an illusion to think this was an illusion. Bummer.
Something to do with cute bunny slippers. And toenails.
Rabbits. A magician pulls a rabbit out of the hat, but that's an optical illusion, because that rabbit is an euphemism for your lost dreams, hopes and desires, and the hat is an euphemism for something that happened the other night, that you now wish didn't happen. There was no magician either. Oh wait, the rabbit was real-- it was the Rabbit that was pulling the magician out of the hat, and you superimposed your emotions on real life and experienced that illusion. Psych! Also, the rabbit has dog biscuits for meal. They're not euphemisms for anything-- they're actually dog biscuits that the rabbit eats.
You. Look at yourself closely in the mirror. WHOAA! Psych!
Rainbow-colored houses and people. You wonder if it's a dream because either it has to be a really elaborate illusion, or you're going crazy. Then one of those houses comes to talk to you and tells you need to increase your intake of minerals or you'll get sick soon. The house with poor plumbing complains about the sad situation of public water facilities and recommends you write a petition to the mayor. You just want momos, and perhaps something to smoke, and maybe drinks, if they are cheap enough. Maybe an attractive waitress who you can flirt shamelessly with too. You stare and the houses and people for a long time, and it's only close two parallel lines that are definitely parallel to each other, no doubt. There's a clown between the two lines.
A girl with a really short skirt on. You turn around, you still see a girl with really short skirt on. Except maybe you like her a little more or little less.
A picture of a walrus eating an elephant. Except if you look at it closely, you see a stout man selling cigarettes in New Road, hoping to marry away his three daughters of marriageable age from the money, who doesn't know that one of them is almost-pregnant, and one is ready to run away with her girlfriend from high school. You look at it again, and it becomes an expensive rolex watch in city center, waiting to be sold to a New Zealander with thick mustache who owns a walrus that will eat an elephant.
Something to do with cute bunny slippers. And toenails.
A deck of trick cards that your floormate shows you before doing the trick. Except, it turns into a flock of flying flaming-red flamingos that defecates on you as it escapes. Now you are covered in birdcrap, but if you are looked at a slightly different angle, the birdcrap is covered in you.
Normal people.
The three dwarfs of the Melrose street. The middle one is actually shorter than the other one. Check it with a meter rule if you want to.
Inspired, obviously, by this: http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2012/03/05/120305sh_shouts_guterman
Harry Potter as a hero. This is the most disturbing illusion, so I advise you check it out only if you're certainly certain you can handle it.
A stranger. You are positive you've never heard/seen him before. She tells you that's her brother. He is still a stranger. Then you meet him seven years later, and you find out he's the first person that speaks your language you've met in two years. You go for drinks to an expensive bar, and talk about things-- his sister surprisingly never comes in the conversation. He leaves with someone from the dance floor, you go back to your wife. He is still a stranger. You realize that it was an illusion to think this was an illusion. Bummer.
Something to do with cute bunny slippers. And toenails.
Rabbits. A magician pulls a rabbit out of the hat, but that's an optical illusion, because that rabbit is an euphemism for your lost dreams, hopes and desires, and the hat is an euphemism for something that happened the other night, that you now wish didn't happen. There was no magician either. Oh wait, the rabbit was real-- it was the Rabbit that was pulling the magician out of the hat, and you superimposed your emotions on real life and experienced that illusion. Psych! Also, the rabbit has dog biscuits for meal. They're not euphemisms for anything-- they're actually dog biscuits that the rabbit eats.
You. Look at yourself closely in the mirror. WHOAA! Psych!
Rainbow-colored houses and people. You wonder if it's a dream because either it has to be a really elaborate illusion, or you're going crazy. Then one of those houses comes to talk to you and tells you need to increase your intake of minerals or you'll get sick soon. The house with poor plumbing complains about the sad situation of public water facilities and recommends you write a petition to the mayor. You just want momos, and perhaps something to smoke, and maybe drinks, if they are cheap enough. Maybe an attractive waitress who you can flirt shamelessly with too. You stare and the houses and people for a long time, and it's only close two parallel lines that are definitely parallel to each other, no doubt. There's a clown between the two lines.
A girl with a really short skirt on. You turn around, you still see a girl with really short skirt on. Except maybe you like her a little more or little less.
A picture of a walrus eating an elephant. Except if you look at it closely, you see a stout man selling cigarettes in New Road, hoping to marry away his three daughters of marriageable age from the money, who doesn't know that one of them is almost-pregnant, and one is ready to run away with her girlfriend from high school. You look at it again, and it becomes an expensive rolex watch in city center, waiting to be sold to a New Zealander with thick mustache who owns a walrus that will eat an elephant.
Something to do with cute bunny slippers. And toenails.
A deck of trick cards that your floormate shows you before doing the trick. Except, it turns into a flock of flying flaming-red flamingos that defecates on you as it escapes. Now you are covered in birdcrap, but if you are looked at a slightly different angle, the birdcrap is covered in you.
Normal people.
The three dwarfs of the Melrose street. The middle one is actually shorter than the other one. Check it with a meter rule if you want to.
Inspired, obviously, by this: http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2012/03/05/120305sh_shouts_guterman
Unconversation
Mero pet dukhyo yaar.
Period, probably.
[Hopeless sigh. Unpleasant stares. Aborted dreams.] Yes, probably. You're not going to the class?
Don't like the professor. He hates me.
I see. Self study?
Fail bhaidinchu, just to show him that I don't give a sh*t.
Umm.
Hyaa.
Katai ghumja jaun. I'm bored-- college le marna lagyo.
Puerto Ricco?
I meant someplace closer-- Boston Common?
Period, probably.
[Hopeless sigh. Unpleasant stares. Aborted dreams.] Yes, probably. You're not going to the class?
Don't like the professor. He hates me.
I see. Self study?
Fail bhaidinchu, just to show him that I don't give a sh*t.
Umm.
Hyaa.
Katai ghumja jaun. I'm bored-- college le marna lagyo.
Puerto Ricco?
I meant someplace closer-- Boston Common?
Up and Down and round about
Up is down, and down is up, and things are a-round-about
Stupidity will kill you before you begin to live
Because when one knows not where one goes,
One knows not what one does.
To protect us from the world.
The screen, and the skin, and scream
The screen, and the eyes, yes
And everything else,
That lead to places of nonexistence.
Because one knows not where one goes
And stupidity will kill you before you begin to live.
Imagine something nice
Now stop imagining,
Because it stopped existing
Even in the nonexistent world.
Go back, and shut everything off
Try to imagine but you cant.
Because what is real is not
And unreal is the new reality
And up is down and down is up, and things are a-round-about
Jump now, and jump around a bit more
Jumped a lot, we will have,
Ending always where we began with,
But where we began is a place of nonexistence
Nowhere.
And that is how
the cookie
crumbles.
Stupidity will kill you before you begin to live
Because when one knows not where one goes,
One knows not what one does.
To protect us from the world.
The screen, and the skin, and scream
The screen, and the eyes, yes
And everything else,
That lead to places of nonexistence.
Because one knows not where one goes
And stupidity will kill you before you begin to live.
Imagine something nice
Now stop imagining,
Because it stopped existing
Even in the nonexistent world.
Go back, and shut everything off
Try to imagine but you cant.
Because what is real is not
And unreal is the new reality
And up is down and down is up, and things are a-round-about
Jump now, and jump around a bit more
Jumped a lot, we will have,
Ending always where we began with,
But where we began is a place of nonexistence
Nowhere.
And that is how
the cookie
crumbles.
Closure
[Curtains open. The stage is sparsely populated, with a few bookshelves and sofas strewn arranged in a circle. A man, who we shall call Ophelius, for the lack of a good classical Greek name, stands to the stage left, staring at the skies. He is thinking.]
Oph: I challenge you, the mighty Zeus, I challenge you. You shall not be able to smite me in a thousand years, for I am Ophelius, son of Ormus and Androgyne, for it is my fate not only to rule the skies seas and the earth, but also the entire creation beyond. You shall not touch me!
[Ophelius paces around the stage. He stops for a moment, looks directly at the audience, and does the maniac demonic laugh. He is haughty and confident--perhaps a bit too much? The pacing continues till the audience is bored.]
[Enter stage right, a woman of whatever age the cast member is of. She could be his mother, or his daughter, or his lover. The audience doesn't know. The woman is Grisma. Lights go dim on Ophelius, and Grisma is in the highlight. She looks around searchingly on the stage, until she sees Ophelius. She smiles to herself, crosses her hands, winks at the audience, and walks confidently towards stage center. All her actions are rather exaggerated. Meanwhile, Ophelius is still pacing around the stage-- now circling Grisma.]
Grisma: [Directly at Ophelius] Do you know, mortal, who I am? Who dare you not acknowledge my presence! Bow before me, for I am the ultimate creator-- I created you, and I created all the gods you have, and I created your feelings and emotions. I create destiny, I create time, and I create existence. OPHELIUS, I AM THE WRITER OF THIS PLAY! BOW BEFORE ME! I shall make your entire universe disappear in a moment's notice otherwise!
Oph: [Squints to look at Grisma, and rubs his eyes] Hello! My lady, have we met before? Let me introduce myself-- I am Ophelius, son of Ormus and Androgyne, and it is my fate to not only to rule the skies seas and the earth, but also the entire creation beyond. It's an honor knowing you!
Grisma: Haha, realize this Oph, I created you, and the prophecy. This is but a drama, and you--all of you-- my puppets.
Oph: [Walks slowly towards Grisma, and then grows confident. He gets close to her, and he carefully--perhaps a bit too longingly?-- touches her nose with his right forefinger. She remains unperturbed, and stands her ground.] You are real, you exist!!!
Grisma: Yes, I do. I created you-- you exist because I do.
Oph: Existence and non-existence-- dichotomies. If you exist, it means you don't not-exist. If you don't not-exist, then you can be made to not-exist, yes.
Grisma: My existence is on a higher plane. This is all a dream for me-- a mere figment of my imagination. Nothing that happens here is real, because it exists only inside my head.
Oph: So what is to say you are more real than I am? Is it not possible you are an imagination too-- of someone somewhere-- who doesn't bother showing up? Pray, answer.
Grisma: The difference is, I can make the existence of the plane you exist in go away in a moment's notice. You cannot do that to me.
Oph: So if I can---
[Everything goes dark. The play ends. Grisma stops existing, and the cosmos of her existence collapses into nothingness. Oph's beliefs, fate, history, and future all fall out of scope. The slate's clean. It's a sad day, but a sad day like any other sad day.]
Guest Post by my foreign friend : Things St**** has to say when he is unconscious
i think that this post is ultimately flawed in its premise for the fact that everybody is very very very drunk right now, which in retrospect seems like a surprisingly good idea.rctutrfyfv
Mind over matter
does it matter that what I think about her?
nonononononono.
Which is why i should stop the frak up okay? Shutupshutupshutupshuthup.
it doesn't matter and it never will, which is why i don't care anymore.
does it matter that i will never matter?
No, saachi, I don't care anymore, I swear...
Whatever else I might say when I'm otherwise unconsious.
nonononononono.
Which is why i should stop the frak up okay? Shutupshutupshutupshuthup.
it doesn't matter and it never will, which is why i don't care anymore.
does it matter that i will never matter?
No, saachi, I don't care anymore, I swear...
Whatever else I might say when I'm otherwise unconsious.
Conversation
After writing a post that I didn't like at all, and showing it to a friend:
She: Um, all the characters in the conversation sound like you.
Me: Yes, yes, that's because I wrote them all. Also, you're soo pretty yaar, you blog too naa.
She: Haha, nice try. Annyway, the characters had lack of tact, just saying. [Or maybe the writer has a lack of tact. Suspenseful subtext]
Me: We shall overcome, we shall overcome, why do we live Bonnie, oh why do we live oh why.
She: Umm, you sound sentimental today, tell me what's wrong.
Me: [Quiet. Toilets]
She: Dude, seriously, or I'm going.
Me: [Quiet. Toilets]
She: Hya, i sense you're really really sad, so i go now. We talk later, lah, and you tell me all your worries love. [leaves]
Me: HII! HEYYS! WHASSAP! OMHOMGOMR, I HAD SO MUCH TO--oh wait, you're gone. damndamndamn. I wanted to talk,
She: [Silence]
She: Um, all the characters in the conversation sound like you.
Me: Yes, yes, that's because I wrote them all. Also, you're soo pretty yaar, you blog too naa.
She: Haha, nice try. Annyway, the characters had lack of tact, just saying. [Or maybe the writer has a lack of tact. Suspenseful subtext]
Me: We shall overcome, we shall overcome, why do we live Bonnie, oh why do we live oh why.
She: Umm, you sound sentimental today, tell me what's wrong.
Me: [Quiet. Toilets]
She: Dude, seriously, or I'm going.
Me: [Quiet. Toilets]
She: Hya, i sense you're really really sad, so i go now. We talk later, lah, and you tell me all your worries love. [leaves]
Me: HII! HEYYS! WHASSAP! OMHOMGOMR, I HAD SO MUCH TO--oh wait, you're gone. damndamndamn. I wanted to talk,
She: [Silence]
Wanted: A Thakali bride
There exists a suitable Thakali bride in Seattle. Known and liked by the people whose existence she is not aware of. Does not revel as much as she is expected to, therefore is safely--mostly correctly-- assumed to have the desired family values.
Greater Boston region:
Wanted-- a suitable Thakali bride from Seattle for a Thakali boy. Works in an accountancy firm in the city, has fun whenever he can. Will inherit a restaurant that's doing comfortable business. Will lessen his revelries after the wedding. From a respected Thakali family, dad worked in traditionally respected field of action, and mom is humble. Preferred that girl not be entangled with too many relationships from now to the wedding. Proposed date of marriage-- whenever the to-be groom gets tired of studding around.
Contact soon, before other Thakali girls start showing up.
Greater Boston region:
Wanted-- a suitable Thakali bride from Seattle for a Thakali boy. Works in an accountancy firm in the city, has fun whenever he can. Will inherit a restaurant that's doing comfortable business. Will lessen his revelries after the wedding. From a respected Thakali family, dad worked in traditionally respected field of action, and mom is humble. Preferred that girl not be entangled with too many relationships from now to the wedding. Proposed date of marriage-- whenever the to-be groom gets tired of studding around.
Contact soon, before other Thakali girls start showing up.
Cultural traits and quirks of BNKS
[Copied straight from an old version of wikipedia. Add in the comments, and I'll edit the write-up)
Budhanilkantha School has slang terms, house systems, calendaring methods and a handful of quirky cultural traits that distinguishes it from other schools in Nepal. Some of these are typical of 'public schools' with roots in the British educational system. Others are uniquely from Budhanilkantha.
Places, events and slang terms such as the following are part of regular usage among the school population:
People who commented here posted these words as additions to this list. Funny is good. Help me define them:
Danger:
Harip Cha:
Budhanilkantha School has slang terms, house systems, calendaring methods and a handful of quirky cultural traits that distinguishes it from other schools in Nepal. Some of these are typical of 'public schools' with roots in the British educational system. Others are uniquely from Budhanilkantha.
Places, events and slang terms such as the following are part of regular usage among the school population:
- tuck shop: for purchasing stationery
- morning study/prep-time/quiet-time: before-breakfast-study/evening study/after-supper-study
- day room: a room in each 'house' where above mentioned studying activities take place. Day rooms are also supplied with indoor sporting paraphernalia such as table tennis boards etc.
- leave weekend: weekends when students are allowed to go home, accompanied by a parent or a legal guardian
- long holiday: one of three, generally month-long vacations
- TPS: Short for 'ten-past-six', a particularly severe form of punishment that takes place at exactly 6:10 in the morning (now bordering towards archaic). Mostly carried out by senior students of a house, on junior miscreants
- black gate: well known, well visited location within the school compound, marked by a black colored metal gate that remains closed on most days except during school events. Many illegal activities are known to take place here, purchasing of items from across the wall being the most prominent (owing to a particularly short portion of the compound wall). Frequently referred to as BG
- band hut: tiny, two door hut located at the vicinity of the above mentioned 'black gate' where school band equipment such as drums, bagpipes, bugles etc are stored
- 'assembly hall muni': section below the school assembly hall where a stream/brook flows through. It has been a rich source for speculative legends (including one particularly morbid myth concerning human sacrifice). A generally good location for crab hunting
- silver-jubilee park: previously unused portion of land in the vicinity of the school weather-station that was turned into a garden with a fountain on occasion of the school's 25th anniversary in 1997 AD.
- road-race: running event that takes place during winter (third term). Race starts and finishes near the school main gate. Final stretch of the track before finish line falls on the public road outside school walls.
- cross-country: well known, grueling long distance race, also taking place in the 'third term' that covers unforgiving terrain in and around the school compound. The track runs through thorny bushes, muddy pathways, riversides, steep uphills, nettle-ridden grasslands and football fields. It starts and ends at the 'middle-pitch' (school's main sporting field) and is known to be a true test of endurance, stamina and perseverance.
- dammi/kharaat/harrip/jhakaas/check: various terms, all used to the effect of 'AWESOME'
- 'baal': this is a staple term, mostly among senior students. It has been argued that 'baal' cannot be defined because it is a multifaceted idea, a state of mind, way of life, a philosophy, an abstraction of a set of ethos that can only be lived, felt, experienced and understood, but never defined. In keeping with this tradition of obscurity surrounding the idea of 'baal', no further attempt will be made to define it
- milan chowk: 3-way intersection of roads near the girl's hostel and the upper-senior basketball court where lovelorn souls meet
- lights-off: time of night after 'quiet-time' when students are expected to go to bed and lights are turned out. Specially in junior houses, this often kicks off the time of night when stories are told in dormitories and students look for mischief to indulge in
- bhangeri: generic name given to the school cobbler, regardless of their individual identity. This negates the need to learn a cobbler's name when an old one is replaced by a new one.
- locker-check: periodic rifling through of personal possessions by teachers or prefects, in search of edible contraband or stolen goods. These are common right after leave-weekends and holidays when illegal edibles imported from home are confiscated, and right before holidays when theft is perceived to escalate
- nilo-jacket: the very beloved school jacket intended as informal wear - theoretically wind and water resistant. A common place to hide foodstuff during locker-checks
- bhabuk: different to it actual linguistic meaning, 'bhabuk' in Budhanilkantha School means someone whose academic performance is exemplary
- blyaadi: someone one is not in speaking terms with (e.g. Ram and Sita are blyaadis)
- boka: generally fumbling, precociously mature, socially awkward, often humorous, sporty, foul mouthed male student with below par personal hygiene
- chippu/chippad: a student who is suspiciously older than his classmates
- nangre: one able to kick a football spectacularly, regardless of general soccer skills. Nangre's are great assets during corner kicks.
- chop parne: to unlawfully make ones own an item whose rightful owner is somebody else
- crab: tasty croissant from the school bakery
- philippines ko pustakari: the as yet unseen, untasted unimaginably delicious mythical pustakari, to be awarded by Mr. JR Wagle to anyone that gets a perfect score in Nepali
- cup udaune: to win championship at a sporting even
- dhyau: a student with notable height surplus
- khyau: a student with notable weight deficit
- dodge khane: to be confused, duped, perplexed or otherwise dumbfounded by a person, problem or situation
- FOSLA: Frustrated One Sided Lover's Association
- FOSLA bench: a particular bench perched at a raised precipice overlooking trees, grass fields and distant horizons whereupon FOSLA members (see definition for FOSLA) take seat, congregate and contemplate their unique predicament to wallow over unrequited love
- Gagaluloo: Gagaluloo comes from a moderately known school legend involving African tribes and a couple of protagonists in an interesting situation. In general use, it describes a torturous experience of particular/peculiar hardship
- highway star: an individual notable for their fondness of strolling up and down the school main road, seemingly on repeat
- house spirit: a notion akin to nationalism but concerning one's house
- jamroll: the school baker's invention. Cream from cream-roll is replaced with a filling of jam
- LL-CC MG-MG: La La, Chha Chha, Moj Gar, Moj Gar. In other word, 'ENJOY'
- pass this: common scenario in a dining hall situation where food items have to be constantly passed around a table
- pwaat: an undoubtedly attractive girl
- silent rocker: an unusual, original Budhanilkantha term that explores two-facetedness of an individual. Indicates untrustworthy nature hidden behind an agreeable/silent facade
- good try: way to express sarcastic remarks on someone else's unlaughable jokes or unsuitable comments.
- untidy: untidy in bnks is generally referred to an undoubtedly ugly girl.
People who commented here posted these words as additions to this list. Funny is good. Help me define them:
Danger:
Harip Cha:
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