Rhino dreams of freedom

Sarita was saying I don't do that because what will my father-mother say? But I think a modern woman should be at least let to explore the world herself and even our culture and religion are okay, so I think I am going to do it. They are saying that no, this is going to be so dangerous, but I told them sometimes in life you have to take danger, and without taking chance and danger, how will you learn.

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I ready to do it. It is difficult journey, but I jogged for three hours every day now. If I jog two more hours, I will get in fit shape for the travel.


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Saying goodbye to friends, family and others. I have understood that it is quite possible i might not return, and I might even die, but in the future I want to be known as the brave rhino who explored the world and was a brave woman and did things even men rhinos were afraid of doing. Otherwise I will become like my friends and I will just be a wife rhino with a lot of rhino kids. I don't think a modern rhino lady should limit herself to within the family life, or the forest.

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Almost got out of the forest today, but was afraid. I don't want to back down on this now. Otherwise I won't be able to show my big hide-ous face to anyone in the society.

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I wonder if people might find out if I just go to the watering hole next door and tell all the people here that I went to the city.

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I just want to sleep. Mooo. Lol, kiddding, jkjkjk

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Sometime I think am I becoming pretentious or what? Because what is the problem with settling down I don't understand. I can still make achievements as so many other people within the family environment.

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OMIGOD GUYS I DID i DID IT

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For the haters that don't believe, here's the story:
 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3017804/Runaway-rhino-kills-one-leaves-six-injured-escaping-wildlife-reserve-rampaging-town-Nepal.html#comments

I think i will be going to diet from now on. My butt looks too big in all the pics.

I would like to thank my parents, friends family, and grandparents, and everyone of my well-wishers. I am a proud Rhino of Nepal, and I will always remain loyal.

This is what I did: I visited the market, the hospital, the farms, and most of the city. Like, I think I have a good idea of what a big city is like. All the people were shouting and blaring their horns all around. I don't understand how anyone can live in like that. People are playing drums and other musical instruments all around, and so many people had their loudspeaker at full volume. I don't know if I like the big city now.

I am also in the news from all over the world! I think if that is going to help my chance with American college admission and scholarship. Does anyone know if putting this kind of stuff in your application package will improve your chances? Looking for a friend here... Don't want to apply to a city university anymore. It is so surprising so many people are so excited about big cities like new york! I think I will apply only to rural colleges now, so no more Columbia and NYU for me!

Communication log: Left Shark

Nov 13
Stage one complete. Radio silence till further communication.

Nov 21
Got dinner in SoHo with a girl. She seemed cool. She thought I was cool. Need to make the infiltration believable. $313 bill sent separately through encrypted channel.

Nov 28
She's seeing other dudes. Anyone at the base know how to dispose of 'bestest sea creature <3 nbsp="" p="">

Dec 12
Didn't realize NYC museums were so expensive! The cupcake dinner at the Met is totally in my personal account!

Jan 1
Hshduishwe are going to whtin this, what you eguys thingk you don;t know me at yall and hwo much i ove and respect you guys because famly is what mattersniand i just wish you gusy would know that yiu know but thanks to larryfor making this posisble for me i know I said i didn't like cdancing byt i realized I actually do

Error in communication. Buttdialed earlier message. Plan completely on track. Celebrated NYC eve like a bunch of stupid tourists in Times' Square. Cover is perfect.

Jan 22
They are taking us to Glendale to start practicing there in a week. Winter is brutal and the landlord won't turn on the heat all the time. It's times like this that I wish I were warmblooded :(. Gotta put four layers of jackets and windproof jacket on top of that. Fins don't show, but now I look like an overweight mobster. That doesn't fit well with my naive tourist image. Need more money for better lodgings.

Jan 29
Good Mfking god. It is so warm here! I danced amongst the trees and seaweeds today. Never had a more refreshing twelve-hour long swim. Drunk partiers didn't find it strange I was in the water all the time.

Feb 3
Doing rehearsals full time. Time consuming to do a second time by oneself, but understand the importance. Nearly fell into hot water the other day. No Sharkfin soup, LOL

Feb 8
Saw Katy today. She's the Queen. I'd be her boody booty  booties boot if she wanted to. She's cool and she even talked to us sharks for a bit. It was mostly sea-food related jokes, but hey, when you're in Alabama, do as the Alabammers do!

Feb 11
Am I nervous? No. Should I be nervous? Maybe. I don't know. This is going to be fun. I am prepared. Months of hard work and planning is coming to this. I'm tearin' up. Let my family know I miss them and I did this for them and I am coming soon, everyone!

Feb 12
Done. Retrieval done.

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

They say art imitates real life. By that argument, it's perfectly okay to transcribe the happenstances in my house, and present it as 'fiction'.

"There will probably be a shorter time than I do laundry again"
"Yeah" (Sips beer) (Tears the sticker off the bottle)
"Concepts. Could you recognize concepts?"
"What should I write my next blog about?"

So this one time I ask a friend for dinner

And then I keep on asking her for dinner every couple of months. Or lunch. Or like, snacks? And just to make suuuree I'm not giving out the hehhehheh vibes, I'm all, lol no Sa----, I am not asking you out, you're cool and everything, but not my types but omg, I would totes ask you out. She never ends up getting dinner with me. Except that one lunch time, when she invites like, half the campus for lunch too. Happenings such as these make one question: is it me, or has the whole world gone mad?

So a man walks into a bar

So a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him for a drink, and he's like, give me the strongest drink you have, it's not like it matters anyway. And the bartender's like kinda' confused, but she doesn't care, she's got stuff to do. So she gives him like a tall glass of some strong Long Island iced tea, but you know with the bar specialities...I don't even know what they call those. Anyway, so the bartender gives this to the man, and the man looks at her for the first time, and realizes she's pretty cute, daaaanggg. He's shy, but he's like what the hell might as well, and he's like, hey I know this is like super creepy or whatever, and you'll def be creeped out and stuff by it, but whatevs, so can I get your number. The bartender's a nice perceptive woman, and she's noticed how he looks kinda' down, so she thinks, what the hell, it's not like he's gonna murder me or anything, so she gives him her number.

Anyway, so as I was saying, the man is like super depressed, and wants to kill himself. So he takes out a pouch of poison, or a bottle of pills or stuff idk how they package life-ending chemicals, and pours it down his glass and stirs it. Since he just got the woman's number, he's had his ego boosted, but he doesn't really feel like anything so he's gonna take his time doing this.

Now, meanwhile, the woman happens to have a very protective and jealous kinda' boyfriend who happens to work in the bar too. But she doesn't realize all those qualities that he has, and she tells him how she gave her number to this one patron, and jokes about it. Now, he laughs about this in front of her, but is super angry about it. You know what I mean? Like, no one hits on my bae kinda guy, and he is SO mad. So he goes to the guy, catches him by the neck and says, 'Hey mister, I hear you hittin' up on my girl. I don't wanna create a problem here, but you gotta take it down, understood?' And the man is all, whatever bro, just what the fk do ya think your doing, just get off my back man. So the jealous boyfriend type guy is kinda offended, but he's gotta to what he has to, so he chugs the man's drink.

You think you know what is going to happen. Do you really though?

And the man begins to laugh uncontrollably. Like, he just won't stop. The bartender boyfriend his confused, so he asks what's up. After laughing for several minutes, the man stops and says, "So my wife left me last month and took with her everything I cared about. My house burned down last week, and the insurance company rejected my claim. I was fired from my job yesterday, and my parents called me to tell me they are disowning me. I got a call from my doctor an hour ago. I have stage three cancer. So with all that, I figured there was nothing worth living in my life, and decided to kill myself. Then I come here, and you beat me up and steal my drink. So I figured I can't even die right, because the drink was supposed to be poisoned". He is still laughing.

The bartender becomes pale, and is about to call 911 when the man adds, "And now I realize I cannot even do the not dying part right. I still have the poison on me-- I instead put the horse laxative that I had brought for my boss in the drink instead." And thus the bartender shits up a mountain, as they say in french.