Hand-wrestling and Buddhism

He will not blink. Neither will He. Both the pairs of eyes are watering already, and irreparable damage has already been done to them in form of sharp tiny dust particles cutting through the soft sclera of their eyes. They know it, and will still not blink. They are the warriors.

Competitions like blink flight and hand wrestling have an unwritten rule that is said sometimes by naïve people: if you give up, you are a wussie.

One should never give up in such fights unless he or she is expecting a mild-to-severe heart attack, or really needs to the bathroom. Reasons such as ‘my hand is bleeding’, ‘I broke my bones’, ‘I just found out that I have diarrhoea’ are just lame excuses to get off the fight without conceding defeat. You might think that the last one would come under bathroom break, but then you would be forgetting that having diarrhea is mutually exclusive from going to toilet. You can go to toilet without having diarrhea, and you can have diarrhea and not have to go to toilet. When you have diarrhea, you just want to go to toilet, but when you follow Buddha’s teachings that tell you to get rid of you wants and desires, you realize that want in this case is just a temporary body function you can do without. Of course, if you went the Buddhist way, someone would have to take care of your excretory functions, because one can’t just let go and be free of desires, because if one let go in that case, one would be overcome with the desire to get cleaned up, and take a nice shower using a scented soap and maybe a light nap later. The point is, letting go of bodily functions invites even more desires, so it’s probably not the best way to do Buddhism.

But then, if you were a Buddhist, you would probably not get into hand wrestling in the first place because it can get violent and painful. As everyone knows, they always end either in blood and gore or the two opponents passionately hugging and kissing each other, ultimately making out. The first rule of Buddhism is ‘never literally make love to thy enemy’, so they would not take a chance there. Anyways, Buddha founded Buddhism because he was tired of losing all the hand wrestling matches and having to do whatever other dudes told him to, so he said one day ‘WTF! I am gonna found my own religion, and its soo not supporting hand wrestling or anything like that. Heck, I am not even gonna’ support violence to make it even more kickass brave.’ And that was how Buddhism was founded.