In search of the ultimate truth

When was the last time you stopped to think about where your life is going, what you want to do, and where the heck do all those flies come from? The answer is probably ‘Umm, Never!’, if you are successful, and ‘Heck, I do it all the time!’ if you are a depressed loser who has very little to be feel good about. The responses lead an interesting question—why do happy people never wonder where houseflies come from?

Throughout millennia, philosophers have tried finding the ultimate key to happiness, only to be murdered half-way through or ignored completely. Despite that, we are no closer to discovering the secret to happiness than ancient Egyptians, who believed that drawing images of human beings with faces like cats and vultures on the walls was a great way to gain salvation. Today, thanks to the internet, we don’t even have to draw our own funky drawings—we can just pull it off some site and out our heads in it. But that has not lead us anywhere closer to ultimate happiness. Instead, we tend to get lost looking for pictures of other people in the internet.

Thanks to modern means of transportation, getting from Kathmandu to San Francisco is a matter of days rather than years. We can communicate with one another from any part of the globe. And because of advancement in agriculture, you don’t have to wait for summer to eat mangoes. But again, how have all these so-called signs of progress lead us any closer to our ultimate goal? They have made our lives easier—now we do not have to go village to village looking for mangoes in winter, we can search the web, order the mangoes, and wait for the shipment to arrive. That is where our problems have been compounded. Yes, things have become faster and convenient as ever, but now we spend most of our time waiting for things to happen. We wait an eternity for a youtube page to load, we wait at airports, in the planes, and at skype, for the other party. Instead of using our time productively, we spend it waiting. We are getting dumber and lazier, and are further away from our goal.

But all is not lost. Recent developments in science show that we may, after all gain eternal happiness. The entire problem with our existence is the waiting time, so if we could get rid of it entirely, we would probably be very near to bliss. Recent experiments by physicists show that teleportation could be as near as 100 years from now on. Once a safe and trustworthy means of teleportation is achieved, we will no longer have to wait for anything, and we will have achieved what philosophers have been trying for thousands of years.

And finally, we could teleport all the houseflies and mosquitoes to a place where they cannot bother another human being ever again. That would be the ultimate answer.