The Karakoram range has weird blue fairies with pixie dust emanating out of their armpits, but they wont let you see their eyelashes because darn you, dude, you should not look at fairy eyelashes, okay? Those fairies have an interesting game: they jump over each other in the dark deadly pits of the range. Because nothing is more fun than daring death.
The people living close by to the fairy habitats hunt the fairies for their expensive fairy dust: they are the major ingredient of Coca-Cola, because of which the fairy population is gradually decreasing. Look at the scientific facts: In 1950, there were 132,200 fairies, compared to 200, 000 that live in the region today. While the human population has almost doubled in the last 70 years the fairy population has increased only by 60 percent.
Conservation efforts have been made, of course. Last year, a group of scientists from Europe and the United states went on a joint mission spsonsored by the European Committee for the Preservation of Proto-Imaginary Creatures. The team discovered that the Fairies were pretty damn pissed off at the humans for being such a-holes.
"Fk your people, and Fk your family, and specially fk the female members of your family, you fking little bastard, " the Chief Fairy Correspondent reportedly said to the interviewers from the team.
The fact that the majority of humanity denies the very existence of Weird Blue Fairies is the first hindrance to their preservation. As long as people don't realize that those fairy do in fact exist, and as creatures adorable as any other creature must be conserved, they are unlikely to pay much attention to the issue. People need to express their concerns to the elected representatives, schools and colleges need to start frank and honest conversations on the issue, and try to identify why people have trouble believing in those creatures, and our governments need to be serious concerning the issue.
Meghan McFairie, a junior at Southern Missouri State University in St. Louis, went on a trip to Turkey. "They are like, the prettiest things everrr, " she says, "You know, when you see something, and feel omigodomigod this so so frikkin awesome, it's never happening in my life ever again, I should probably take tons of pictures of this and post on facebook? That is exactly what happened to me when I observed those adorable creatures, whose habitats and livelihoods have been encroached by the human greed and inhumanity."
She recently created a student group in her college that fights for the rights of Weird Blue Fairies. A few of her students have joined, but most students remain ambivalent about the issue. Woltham Gollum, a senior majoring in Anthropology at SMSU says, " Oh yeah, haha they live in Hogwarts right? Hur hur. What? You mean they're for real? No Shit! I thought fairies and dwarfs and global warming were are fairy tales. Huh, maybe I'll do something about that when I have some free time."
Susan Allsbright, who represents the coalition of conservative ThinkTanks at Washington, says the issue of Weird Blue Fairies is exaggerated. "It's simple: there's some kids high on LSD or something who're seeing things and they're creating an issue out of absolutely nothing. I'm surprised that people are even taking the issue seriously," she said. The Chief Fairy Correspondent said in response, "Fk her."
A high-five in need is a high-five indeed!
Stop creeping me out. Gimme' a high five.
And a hug. Because hugs are so good!
I had a sane and meaningful conversation with Bu after quite some time. We talked about how weird hugs are, and she laughed-- or pretended to-- and I felt good about myself.
So the gist of the conversation as was-- Intimate Hugs: The most awkward time to have an erection. Right, right?
I sometimes worry about the weirdest and the least relevant of things. Awkward laugh. Hur-hur-hur. Heh.
My ability to carve about relevant, captivating, and interesting sentences has diminished significantly since I stopped writing six months ago. I can't speak in public, and I can't communicate with other human beings as fluently as I formerly could.
The Hitch is dead, the Hitch is dead, man. I should do something about that.
And a hug. Because hugs are so good!
I had a sane and meaningful conversation with Bu after quite some time. We talked about how weird hugs are, and she laughed-- or pretended to-- and I felt good about myself.
So the gist of the conversation as was-- Intimate Hugs: The most awkward time to have an erection. Right, right?
I sometimes worry about the weirdest and the least relevant of things. Awkward laugh. Hur-hur-hur. Heh.
My ability to carve about relevant, captivating, and interesting sentences has diminished significantly since I stopped writing six months ago. I can't speak in public, and I can't communicate with other human beings as fluently as I formerly could.
The Hitch is dead, the Hitch is dead, man. I should do something about that.
Hitch is dead
The Hitch says he does not live to write, but writing IS is life. Hitch is not going to write anymore, because he's dead. Long live the Hitch.
The outsiders will have attacked, by then. Hitch is dead, Hitch is dead, Hitch is dead.
The outsiders will have attacked, by then. Hitch is dead, Hitch is dead, Hitch is dead.
नेपली
नेपालीमा नलेखेको धेरै भयो|
आज देवकोटा को 'मुनामदन ' पढें, धेरैपछि| मज्जा आयो |
अब के गर्ने थाहा छैन| हुनत कसलाई नै थाहा हुन्छ र... तैपनि, केइनकेइ हुन्छ कि जस्तो लागेको थियो| घरमा बसेभन्दा बोधो भा' छ सबकुरा| अब एसो गर्नुपर्यो भनेर सोच्छु, अनि झ्याउ लागेर आउंछ| अनि सुत्छु|
अरबिकको पढाइ राम्रो छ| प्रोफेसर राम्रो परेको छ, अरु कुराको चिन्ता छैन.
आज देवकोटा को 'मुनामदन ' पढें, धेरैपछि| मज्जा आयो |
अब के गर्ने थाहा छैन| हुनत कसलाई नै थाहा हुन्छ र... तैपनि, केइनकेइ हुन्छ कि जस्तो लागेको थियो| घरमा बसेभन्दा बोधो भा' छ सबकुरा| अब एसो गर्नुपर्यो भनेर सोच्छु, अनि झ्याउ लागेर आउंछ| अनि सुत्छु|
अरबिकको पढाइ राम्रो छ| प्रोफेसर राम्रो परेको छ, अरु कुराको चिन्ता छैन.
You say 'I ran', I say 'EE ran'
This happened a long time ago. I had a very long argument with Bu about Hattiban. She was insistent that it's NOT on a hill, and does not have elephants. I said otherwise. I don't remember how it ended. I'm not sure if it even ended. You say potato, I say poe-taa-too, I said. She told me I was--I'm quoting here-- a 'dumb weirdo'. I don't know how I keep getting into those arguments.
Iran's a very pretty country, I have been told. They speak Farsi there, which I don't know. I don't have the money to go there, and the courage at this very hour. I want to go there in the near future. See stuff. Eat. Hang around, see how the rap scene is. Maybe do some shopping. Do they have skydiving in Iran? I'll probably do that too if it's not terribly expensive.
This is getting very weird. I'll be back...
Iran's a very pretty country, I have been told. They speak Farsi there, which I don't know. I don't have the money to go there, and the courage at this very hour. I want to go there in the near future. See stuff. Eat. Hang around, see how the rap scene is. Maybe do some shopping. Do they have skydiving in Iran? I'll probably do that too if it's not terribly expensive.
This is getting very weird. I'll be back...
Nancy dreams
I've been listening to Nancy Ajram a lot lately. Partly to improve my Arabic, I'll concede, but also also because I like her songs. Oh, and the music videos.
You can tell about people's lifestyles by their dreams. It sounds obvious, but people rarely tell you how they live-- on the other hand, everyone wants to talk about dreams.
Which brings me back to Nancy Ajram's videos. The girl sees an attractive guy, she gets flustered, she puts vegetables uncut, and empties the bottle of olive oil, into the stew she is cooking. Her grandmother has a rifle with her at all times-- the kind of gun grandmothers usually carry, and she's shooting the gun all the time. The attractive guy has a revolver-- to fire into the air, of course, which he does on every occasion he sees fitting.
Symbolism, and dreams. That reminds me of the Egyptian film I watched the other day, Microphone. Made me want to learn film-making. So I'm taking a film-making class this semester. Nancy's now saying that she's all alone-- funny, we practiced that structure last week.
Hearts will melt, or get stolen, and brains will get blown, or freeze.
You can tell about people's lifestyles by their dreams. It sounds obvious, but people rarely tell you how they live-- on the other hand, everyone wants to talk about dreams.
Which brings me back to Nancy Ajram's videos. The girl sees an attractive guy, she gets flustered, she puts vegetables uncut, and empties the bottle of olive oil, into the stew she is cooking. Her grandmother has a rifle with her at all times-- the kind of gun grandmothers usually carry, and she's shooting the gun all the time. The attractive guy has a revolver-- to fire into the air, of course, which he does on every occasion he sees fitting.
Symbolism, and dreams. That reminds me of the Egyptian film I watched the other day, Microphone. Made me want to learn film-making. So I'm taking a film-making class this semester. Nancy's now saying that she's all alone-- funny, we practiced that structure last week.
Hearts will melt, or get stolen, and brains will get blown, or freeze.
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