Manhattarant

When you're living in the Upper West Side in Manhattan, drinking Daquiris for your goddamn Sunday brunches (how have Dacquiris even become a brunch thing anyway? when did margaritas go out of way?) with your goddamn yuppy friends (ughh, we're soo over our hipster phase, phew, you will say, because why the fuck not), it becomes difficult to identify where you're from. "NO, but", you will say, "No not, seriously, we make momos like five times in a month, maybe more because everyone from school is always coming over and all they want to do is make momos in Manhattan, because that seems to be the dream, and you're still saying I'm not identifiable enough?"


What do bodegas do? And when did donuts with eggs and nauni in them become a standard breakfast fare (who EVEN says 'breakfast fare' huh?) and how come, how come you're sooo excited for every authentic (you'll argue that the Chinese burger place is authentic, but doesn't McD have the largest number of outlets in China outside the US anyway?) ethnic cuisine, and yet, and yeeeet, the Nepali servers in that restaurant seem so annoying to you? I mean, yeah, they're unprofessional, and annoying, and people would get into fights if this were Nepal (बैनी, मेरो खाना मा ट्वाल्ल परेर नहेर्नु न, अरु केइ काम छैन? Bro, don't just stupidly stare at my face and food when I'm eating, do you have nothing else to do?) but but, it's not like those goddamn Greek and Pakistani and Nigerian servers, are they REALLY that much more professional? And, and what about the fact that most of the servers in Non-Nepali ethnic restaurants are Nepali anyway? What? What about that, huh? So, how come?

Yeah, anyway what are bodegas? Are they like food boutiques or what? Or boutiques? Or liquor stores? Why does no one seem to know?

Manhattanners, am I right? Boaring. Eff you Col. I would have enjoyed living there, if only you'd let me.