Name's Karma, God Vishwo Karma. I am the God of machines and machinery and I want to straighten a few facts. Don't worry, though, I won't advocate vegetarianism or non-violence.
Let me start with this bali, offering thing. You will not be a sinner if you take a thousand and one lives for my sake. I'll just say. 'Okay, someone's going to have a really bad stomach this Dashain,' or, 'Whoa! Where'd you get the money to buy this fatso from? Beware of the dangers lurking ahead(CIAA),' and that's it. Don't listen to those diarrhea- prone ones who say animals should not be sacrificed for festivals. You can kill as many goats and buffaloes and chickens as you can afford for for me. Just make sure I don't get charged for inciting excessive violence and encouraging savagery. By the way, there are no favors in return for all those hyakulas and feelies. You drive recklessly, you get killed; don't bring me into this stuff. Also, I did not get to eat them anyway, so why on earth should I help you?
And then there is this interesting thing I saw in the cities during Nawami. All the boys were doing Pujas and the girls were being told that it is VishwoKarma Puja, only boys should do it. Really? I didn't know that! Either I am so stupid that I don't remember what I speak or, a lot of you are big-fat liars who will use my name for the smallest lies and then wake up at three in the morning to worship me very devoutly. I hope it is the second one; Gods cannot be idiots, after all. Can they?
Finally, I can hear a lot of noises being made on God not differentiating on economic grounds. It's a lie, don't believe it. Have you ever seen a beggar begging from a Limousine? Or a Gaine giving performance from his Private Jet? Fine, you may have seen one or two but my point is, if Donald Trump has a Limo where he can make business deals, why can't a beggar bet from a Limo too? If U2 can perform in a Jet, why can't the Gaine who thinks singing should be done at unconventional times, like in the middle of the night?Got my point? The rich have everything they want; the poor, not a thing. That's because Mrs. Laxmi and all other we Divine Beings look upon the financial statement of our worshipers before giving anything.
If you have any queries or suggestions to me or about my work, keep them to yourself. I have enough work without stupid humans pestering me with unwanted questions and suggestions. Be careful! I will lock you in the toilet if you anger me!
Remember this: I may or may not exist; no one can be sure. Therefore, there is a possibility I might come down as your Prime Minister.