Dear Writer,
I cannot envy you for those memories of yours. As a reasonably privileged, stable, child in our little, forgotten part of the world, I went through very different things than the ones you went through and experienced. I cannot say I understand you.
And yet, envy you, I do. I had been afraid to read your words, because I was afraid I would have to lie. Ahhh, you forgot 'the' here, I would tell you, distracting you from the more basic faults of structure and content in your writing. You are my friend, and friends don't lie to friends about things that matter the most. Being an inconsiderate friend was a good bargain to get out of that situation. You never insisted, I never insisted, and things moved on.
Things have changed. You suddenly seem so... mature, bubbly, understanding. I am jealous; those around you, they must have done something to deserve you. We have talked about this.
Your voice has changed. You said you were embarrassed your accent was changing into Long-Island-uptalk-Americanese. Or maybe you are just more confident now. Your words used to end with a low tick, as if you had finished talking after every sentence and didn't really want to go to the next. The uptick makes you sound like you want to share everything you have, and more, and keep on talking. Or is that just wishful thinking on part of a desperate reader and admirer?
I wish we had talked these things earlier. Or perhaps, it's good we hadn't.
All I'm sayin' is, I have a huge freakin' crush on you after I read what you had to write, and it's a pity it's not going to anywhere considering everything. That is all. Let's save the words: you need those for the book that is going to be amazmindblowing.
Yours,
Reader
How do you measure life
How, in this crazy world,
do you measure life?
Do you measure
With a thermometer
On your wrist;
Tracking
the steps you take
and your heartbeats?
Or do you put
a monitor
right on the kitchen counter
to evaluate all the words
you've ever said?
How do you measure life?
Do you measure
the shots of tequila
the handles of vodka and rum
and the memorable, yet mislaid,
weekends
that were so much fun!?
Or do you measure
the evenings of quiet and peace
with friends and family
that made you think
life is such a Bliss!?
How do you measure life?
Do you measure
how much better
you are than
your fellow man
And bask in the glory
of conceived greatness
while you can?
Or do you count
all your blessings
and
(Work in progress)
do you measure life?
Do you measure
With a thermometer
On your wrist;
Tracking
the steps you take
and your heartbeats?
Or do you put
a monitor
right on the kitchen counter
to evaluate all the words
you've ever said?
How do you measure life?
Do you measure
the shots of tequila
the handles of vodka and rum
and the memorable, yet mislaid,
weekends
that were so much fun!?
Or do you measure
the evenings of quiet and peace
with friends and family
that made you think
life is such a Bliss!?
How do you measure life?
Do you measure
how much better
you are than
your fellow man
And bask in the glory
of conceived greatness
while you can?
Or do you count
all your blessings
and
(Work in progress)
Letters from exile: The essence of evil
The essence of evil is when one is happy and satisfied at the pain and suffering of others, and disappointed at (Edit, after two months: I never ended up completing this sentence. What a tease, my brain. Thought it was going to be a huge revelation)
What's in a man's mind
What kind of woman does the man want? We'll find out today!
She should be happy. Most of the time, not like crazy giggly and happy all the time: that's too tiring for him, and he can't handle that, and besides, that would make him feel bad for not being happy all the time, which would make him feel sad.
She should be sad. As in, like, artsy sad, that inspires her to write weird poetry, and feel bad about orphans, and philosophize about existential shit and stuff. But not too much, or else that would be depressing and scary and the man already has enough people to take care of as it is, and he doesn't want to spend his life trying to cheer up someone else, okay?
She should have big eyes. But not too big, aka, myyy what big eyes you have grandma. A certain person whose last name is shared by many a character from Salman Khan has such eyes. Refer to her for further instructions. On further analysis, she has cute teeth too. Like, are they natural, or does she put stuff to make them shiny white. O man, I want to marrrry herr.
She should have small eyes. Yeahh, like all the cute newar girls in Kathmandu, who never looked at him, and how was it even possible, there was many an unattractive guy in Kathmandu uglier than him for him to get no stolen glances at all. There must be some conspiracy here. Or something.
Artsy. But not overly so. Don't you go crazy when you're looking at sunset after a long day and want everything to be quiet and just close your eyes and take a nap, and she starts talking about life and philosophy and shit and asks you what you want to do in the future, and you want to go all what do you even care, omg dont bother me go away, but instead you tell her that you don't know, haven't thought about it. Obviously, she wants you to ask the same, so you pause for a respectful amount of time before asking her the same damn question, and she goes into this long soliloquy about how it was always her dream for something like this to happen, and all things considered she has made the best possible choices yadda yadda yadda. But now you're half asleep so you smile like you understand but you're secretly asleep.
Logical. She should not be too emotional. So that she can make the right decisions and be successful. But emotional enough that she ignores all the calculations when the man asks her out -- there's a possibility logical thinking may not lead her to optimal outcomes, and that would be bad for everyone and we should not let that happen so can you please tell her that for once she should let her heart speak, and not be a mean ogre and choose love instead for a change instead of whatever petty physical thing she might have chosen? OK OK nevermind, just, just tell her to hang out with me more, goddammit, I'll have to get someone else to try to brainwash her. Yeah, no worries, thanks anyway.
She should be happy. Most of the time, not like crazy giggly and happy all the time: that's too tiring for him, and he can't handle that, and besides, that would make him feel bad for not being happy all the time, which would make him feel sad.
She should be sad. As in, like, artsy sad, that inspires her to write weird poetry, and feel bad about orphans, and philosophize about existential shit and stuff. But not too much, or else that would be depressing and scary and the man already has enough people to take care of as it is, and he doesn't want to spend his life trying to cheer up someone else, okay?
She should have big eyes. But not too big, aka, myyy what big eyes you have grandma. A certain person whose last name is shared by many a character from Salman Khan has such eyes. Refer to her for further instructions. On further analysis, she has cute teeth too. Like, are they natural, or does she put stuff to make them shiny white. O man, I want to marrrry herr.
She should have small eyes. Yeahh, like all the cute newar girls in Kathmandu, who never looked at him, and how was it even possible, there was many an unattractive guy in Kathmandu uglier than him for him to get no stolen glances at all. There must be some conspiracy here. Or something.
Artsy. But not overly so. Don't you go crazy when you're looking at sunset after a long day and want everything to be quiet and just close your eyes and take a nap, and she starts talking about life and philosophy and shit and asks you what you want to do in the future, and you want to go all what do you even care, omg dont bother me go away, but instead you tell her that you don't know, haven't thought about it. Obviously, she wants you to ask the same, so you pause for a respectful amount of time before asking her the same damn question, and she goes into this long soliloquy about how it was always her dream for something like this to happen, and all things considered she has made the best possible choices yadda yadda yadda. But now you're half asleep so you smile like you understand but you're secretly asleep.
Logical. She should not be too emotional. So that she can make the right decisions and be successful. But emotional enough that she ignores all the calculations when the man asks her out -- there's a possibility logical thinking may not lead her to optimal outcomes, and that would be bad for everyone and we should not let that happen so can you please tell her that for once she should let her heart speak, and not be a mean ogre and choose love instead for a change instead of whatever petty physical thing she might have chosen? OK OK nevermind, just, just tell her to hang out with me more, goddammit, I'll have to get someone else to try to brainwash her. Yeah, no worries, thanks anyway.
Things I should definitely not have said
When one said your little cousin was the cutest, one also sort of meant it about you, without meaning to because one will never say such things.
letters from the freezing tundra of northern new england
And once again I'm on the train, to my own middle of
nowhere, the freezing freaking wastelands of northern new england. I pay
no taxes, as I will happily remind anyone who will ask even the least probing questions, but make no mistakes, I am taxed. The alone-ness won't get me -- for your best companion is inside your own head -- but the cold and the dreariness of mediocrity might.
I write this to distract myself from more important priorities of life -- the GRE is closing up on me like the streetcar was on those drunk aussies who were playing chicken with it in new orleans (oh yes, no that's a story!) and I will likely also move away before it's too close to hurt me. I won't win, probably, but if I wanted to win then playing chicken with the metaphorical equivalent of an aging streetcar system of the blues capital of the world wasn't a good idea anyway. The fun is in playing, if I may remind you one more time.
And then what's left to do? They say people go to bars to make friends. They forget that i am already friends with multiple people capable of sustaining 40-hour parties with moderate drinking. It's not the drunks that I want to befriend, nor the kind who go to bars who go to bar to make friends. Since, if you will have realized by now, I am no drunk. So I take it easy, but it doesn't take ME easily.
More on that in the future.
I still have stories from my recent and older travels. Need to get those out stat before I forget.
I write this to distract myself from more important priorities of life -- the GRE is closing up on me like the streetcar was on those drunk aussies who were playing chicken with it in new orleans (oh yes, no that's a story!) and I will likely also move away before it's too close to hurt me. I won't win, probably, but if I wanted to win then playing chicken with the metaphorical equivalent of an aging streetcar system of the blues capital of the world wasn't a good idea anyway. The fun is in playing, if I may remind you one more time.
And then what's left to do? They say people go to bars to make friends. They forget that i am already friends with multiple people capable of sustaining 40-hour parties with moderate drinking. It's not the drunks that I want to befriend, nor the kind who go to bars who go to bar to make friends. Since, if you will have realized by now, I am no drunk. So I take it easy, but it doesn't take ME easily.
More on that in the future.
I still have stories from my recent and older travels. Need to get those out stat before I forget.
Generalized nothings.
Lover, let's not pretend I was ever a romantic. The loss is not a big one, and we wonder if there is ever even a loss.
As I close my eyes and see the grayness of life in front of me -- grayness of boredom maybe for you, but it's dripping with potential for me, an exciting, roaring thundering grayness that could catch you by surprise any moment now -- I don't see those white flashes anymore. In those flashes, I could sometime make out your features. I know her hair, I would claim some day, and I would claim to have fathomed your earrings next. Random bits and pieces of the books you're reading would appear, and your drinks would swirl around. I could almost smell them, taste them. Almost.
As I walked by the station this evening when the exhaustion and tiredness of the day caused me to see gray again, I didn't see you. There was a brief flash, but it was an empty lightening -- it was not the thunderbolt of Indra and Jupiter -- it was the scientific action by which excess charges in the sky ground themselves through the path of least resistance. The poetry was gone, to be replaced by the drabness of everyday flashes.
And when the Chinese girl, dressed in her smart black blazer, short black skirt, knee high black socks and black boots with short silky hair and black scarf, gave me an apathetic look as she walked by, that, that made me forget of you.
I am not a betrayer, for there was never a thing to betray about. No lives were lost, or hearts broken, and secrets were most certainly not improperly disclosed.
One wonders then, if it was not an everyday distraction but a momentous revelation.
As I close my eyes and see the grayness of life in front of me -- grayness of boredom maybe for you, but it's dripping with potential for me, an exciting, roaring thundering grayness that could catch you by surprise any moment now -- I don't see those white flashes anymore. In those flashes, I could sometime make out your features. I know her hair, I would claim some day, and I would claim to have fathomed your earrings next. Random bits and pieces of the books you're reading would appear, and your drinks would swirl around. I could almost smell them, taste them. Almost.
As I walked by the station this evening when the exhaustion and tiredness of the day caused me to see gray again, I didn't see you. There was a brief flash, but it was an empty lightening -- it was not the thunderbolt of Indra and Jupiter -- it was the scientific action by which excess charges in the sky ground themselves through the path of least resistance. The poetry was gone, to be replaced by the drabness of everyday flashes.
And when the Chinese girl, dressed in her smart black blazer, short black skirt, knee high black socks and black boots with short silky hair and black scarf, gave me an apathetic look as she walked by, that, that made me forget of you.
I am not a betrayer, for there was never a thing to betray about. No lives were lost, or hearts broken, and secrets were most certainly not improperly disclosed.
One wonders then, if it was not an everyday distraction but a momentous revelation.
What I am
I am that guy in the furniture commercial. That's the best thing to have happened to him, too. Would I rather... or would I rather. The one who doesn't particularly like furniture either. I am tiring.
So groan up
As I was heading to my platform at the train station, I was asked by a friendly lady if my wife had thrown me out. Not a man of witty repartee, I giggled and hurried away. If Winston Churchill were there, he'd might have called her ugly.
fuckkiity fuck i will write
fuckity fuck, i will keep fucking writing, the fuck, because what the fuck, when you write, you write, and when you don't, you don't. Writing is important, and i will keep fucking writing. fuck fuck fuck.
Provably untrue
What the author states here are provably untrue. Do not listen to him. He is a liar of the highest order, an untrustworthy person, and you'd have thought he were a trustworthy person, but you know what, you really can't trust him anymore. He's so untrustworthy. Like, wayyy too much. How do you even have a lesser trust-worthy person than an average person -- is it even possible, because, how... do you even... like, what's even the procedure... The process is not even sure what the process is to to not like what is liked a lot, so it is entirely unclear what is liked and what is not, and what is nice and what is not. I would just like it to be true that some things were better than others. You know what I mean? :-/
Wherein the author states the sad truths of life
Alone and lost, and unsure where to go, I wonder why I am even here. Am I here to live the life I've set for me, or because I've been told to. Is this party a metaphor, for eternity?
And yet leave I don't. Why suffer this existential humiliation? I should go home.
How do somehow end up on my own, every time? Is it me, or has the whole world gone mad.
Why must I suffer those existentially suffering, and why must I suffer, the maddening?
I can go back. Home. It will always hr there. And yet.
I'm uprooted. Emotional tendrils that dig Deep, never made it past.
But not me. I am not the black sheep. I am the one that worked. I refuse my existential ditch.
I am an idiot. A person with poor forethought. Dear Gods! An eternity of poor judgments remain.
Like, who the hell are you even, man.
Just get me out of the party I don't want to be in, someone! I didn't like it the way I should have like it.
Just to be sure
Just to be sure, I'm a line in this world and it's not a bad thing at all ! I wish better things happened to me but the things that have happened are pretty cool.:)
I'm happy, and I'm content, and that's all it matters :)
Danger
It is dangerous to imagine. Take two things away from a person: the ability to imagine and Hope, and you will find yourself with the happiest person.
Rhino dreams of freedom
Sarita was saying I don't do that because what will my father-mother say? But I think a modern woman should be at least let to explore the world herself and even our culture and religion are okay, so I think I am going to do it. They are saying that no, this is going to be so dangerous, but I told them sometimes in life you have to take danger, and without taking chance and danger, how will you learn.
***
I ready to do it. It is difficult journey, but I jogged for three hours every day now. If I jog two more hours, I will get in fit shape for the travel.
***
Saying goodbye to friends, family and others. I have understood that it is quite possible i might not return, and I might even die, but in the future I want to be known as the brave rhino who explored the world and was a brave woman and did things even men rhinos were afraid of doing. Otherwise I will become like my friends and I will just be a wife rhino with a lot of rhino kids. I don't think a modern rhino lady should limit herself to within the family life, or the forest.
***
Almost got out of the forest today, but was afraid. I don't want to back down on this now. Otherwise I won't be able to show my big hide-ous face to anyone in the society.
***
I wonder if people might find out if I just go to the watering hole next door and tell all the people here that I went to the city.
***
I just want to sleep. Mooo. Lol, kiddding, jkjkjk
***
Sometime I think am I becoming pretentious or what? Because what is the problem with settling down I don't understand. I can still make achievements as so many other people within the family environment.
***
OMIGOD GUYS I DID i DID IT
***
For the haters that don't believe, here's the story:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3017804/Runaway-rhino-kills-one-leaves-six-injured-escaping-wildlife-reserve-rampaging-town-Nepal.html#comments
I think i will be going to diet from now on. My butt looks too big in all the pics.
I would like to thank my parents, friends family, and grandparents, and everyone of my well-wishers. I am a proud Rhino of Nepal, and I will always remain loyal.
This is what I did: I visited the market, the hospital, the farms, and most of the city. Like, I think I have a good idea of what a big city is like. All the people were shouting and blaring their horns all around. I don't understand how anyone can live in like that. People are playing drums and other musical instruments all around, and so many people had their loudspeaker at full volume. I don't know if I like the big city now.
I am also in the news from all over the world! I think if that is going to help my chance with American college admission and scholarship. Does anyone know if putting this kind of stuff in your application package will improve your chances? Looking for a friend here... Don't want to apply to a city university anymore. It is so surprising so many people are so excited about big cities like new york! I think I will apply only to rural colleges now, so no more Columbia and NYU for me!
***
I ready to do it. It is difficult journey, but I jogged for three hours every day now. If I jog two more hours, I will get in fit shape for the travel.
***
Saying goodbye to friends, family and others. I have understood that it is quite possible i might not return, and I might even die, but in the future I want to be known as the brave rhino who explored the world and was a brave woman and did things even men rhinos were afraid of doing. Otherwise I will become like my friends and I will just be a wife rhino with a lot of rhino kids. I don't think a modern rhino lady should limit herself to within the family life, or the forest.
***
Almost got out of the forest today, but was afraid. I don't want to back down on this now. Otherwise I won't be able to show my big hide-ous face to anyone in the society.
***
I wonder if people might find out if I just go to the watering hole next door and tell all the people here that I went to the city.
***
I just want to sleep. Mooo. Lol, kiddding, jkjkjk
***
Sometime I think am I becoming pretentious or what? Because what is the problem with settling down I don't understand. I can still make achievements as so many other people within the family environment.
***
OMIGOD GUYS I DID i DID IT
***
For the haters that don't believe, here's the story:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3017804/Runaway-rhino-kills-one-leaves-six-injured-escaping-wildlife-reserve-rampaging-town-Nepal.html#comments
I think i will be going to diet from now on. My butt looks too big in all the pics.
I would like to thank my parents, friends family, and grandparents, and everyone of my well-wishers. I am a proud Rhino of Nepal, and I will always remain loyal.
This is what I did: I visited the market, the hospital, the farms, and most of the city. Like, I think I have a good idea of what a big city is like. All the people were shouting and blaring their horns all around. I don't understand how anyone can live in like that. People are playing drums and other musical instruments all around, and so many people had their loudspeaker at full volume. I don't know if I like the big city now.
I am also in the news from all over the world! I think if that is going to help my chance with American college admission and scholarship. Does anyone know if putting this kind of stuff in your application package will improve your chances? Looking for a friend here... Don't want to apply to a city university anymore. It is so surprising so many people are so excited about big cities like new york! I think I will apply only to rural colleges now, so no more Columbia and NYU for me!
Communication log: Left Shark
Nov 13
Stage one complete. Radio silence till further communication.
Nov 21
Got dinner in SoHo with a girl. She seemed cool. She thought I was cool. Need to make the infiltration believable. $313 bill sent separately through encrypted channel.
Nov 28
She's seeing other dudes. Anyone at the base know how to dispose of 'bestest sea creature <3 nbsp="" p="">
Dec 12
Didn't realize NYC museums were so expensive! The cupcake dinner at the Met is totally in my personal account!
Jan 1
Hshduishwe are going to whtin this, what you eguys thingk you don;t know me at yall and hwo much i ove and respect you guys because famly is what mattersniand i just wish you gusy would know that yiu know but thanks to larryfor making this posisble for me i know I said i didn't like cdancing byt i realized I actually do
Error in communication. Buttdialed earlier message. Plan completely on track. Celebrated NYC eve like a bunch of stupid tourists in Times' Square. Cover is perfect.
Jan 22
They are taking us to Glendale to start practicing there in a week. Winter is brutal and the landlord won't turn on the heat all the time. It's times like this that I wish I were warmblooded :(. Gotta put four layers of jackets and windproof jacket on top of that. Fins don't show, but now I look like an overweight mobster. That doesn't fit well with my naive tourist image. Need more money for better lodgings.
Jan 29
Good Mfking god. It is so warm here! I danced amongst the trees and seaweeds today. Never had a more refreshing twelve-hour long swim. Drunk partiers didn't find it strange I was in the water all the time.
Feb 3
Doing rehearsals full time. Time consuming to do a second time by oneself, but understand the importance. Nearly fell into hot water the other day. No Sharkfin soup, LOL
Feb 8
Saw Katy today. She's the Queen. I'd be herboody booty booties
boot if she wanted to. She's cool and she even talked to us sharks for a
bit. It was mostly sea-food related jokes, but hey, when you're in
Alabama, do as the Alabammers do!
Feb 11
Am I nervous? No. Should I be nervous? Maybe. I don't know. This is going to be fun. I am prepared. Months of hard work and planning is coming to this. I'm tearin' up. Let my family know I miss them and I did this for them and I am coming soon, everyone!
Feb 12
Done. Retrieval done.
Stage one complete. Radio silence till further communication.
Nov 21
Got dinner in SoHo with a girl. She seemed cool. She thought I was cool. Need to make the infiltration believable. $313 bill sent separately through encrypted channel.
Nov 28
She's seeing other dudes. Anyone at the base know how to dispose of 'bestest sea creature <3 nbsp="" p="">
Dec 12
Didn't realize NYC museums were so expensive! The cupcake dinner at the Met is totally in my personal account!
Jan 1
Hshduishwe are going to whtin this, what you eguys thingk you don;t know me at yall and hwo much i ove and respect you guys because famly is what mattersniand i just wish you gusy would know that yiu know but thanks to larryfor making this posisble for me i know I said i didn't like cdancing byt i realized I actually do
Error in communication. Buttdialed earlier message. Plan completely on track. Celebrated NYC eve like a bunch of stupid tourists in Times' Square. Cover is perfect.
Jan 22
They are taking us to Glendale to start practicing there in a week. Winter is brutal and the landlord won't turn on the heat all the time. It's times like this that I wish I were warmblooded :(. Gotta put four layers of jackets and windproof jacket on top of that. Fins don't show, but now I look like an overweight mobster. That doesn't fit well with my naive tourist image. Need more money for better lodgings.
Jan 29
Good Mfking god. It is so warm here! I danced amongst the trees and seaweeds today. Never had a more refreshing twelve-hour long swim. Drunk partiers didn't find it strange I was in the water all the time.
Feb 3
Doing rehearsals full time. Time consuming to do a second time by oneself, but understand the importance. Nearly fell into hot water the other day. No Sharkfin soup, LOL
Feb 8
Saw Katy today. She's the Queen. I'd be her
Feb 11
Am I nervous? No. Should I be nervous? Maybe. I don't know. This is going to be fun. I am prepared. Months of hard work and planning is coming to this. I'm tearin' up. Let my family know I miss them and I did this for them and I am coming soon, everyone!
Feb 12
Done. Retrieval done.
Dear Diary
Dear Diary,
They say art imitates real life. By that argument, it's perfectly okay to transcribe the happenstances in my house, and present it as 'fiction'.
"There will probably be a shorter time than I do laundry again"
"Yeah" (Sips beer) (Tears the sticker off the bottle)
"Concepts. Could you recognize concepts?"
"What should I write my next blog about?"
They say art imitates real life. By that argument, it's perfectly okay to transcribe the happenstances in my house, and present it as 'fiction'.
"There will probably be a shorter time than I do laundry again"
"Yeah" (Sips beer) (Tears the sticker off the bottle)
"Concepts. Could you recognize concepts?"
"What should I write my next blog about?"
So this one time I ask a friend for dinner
And then I keep on asking her for dinner every couple of months. Or
lunch. Or like, snacks? And just to make suuuree I'm not giving out the
hehhehheh vibes, I'm all, lol no Sa----, I am not asking you out, you're
cool and everything, but not my types but omg, I would totes ask you
out. She never ends up getting dinner with me. Except that one lunch
time, when she invites like, half the campus for lunch too. Happenings
such as these make one question: is it me, or has the whole world gone
mad?
So a man walks into a bar
So a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him for a drink, and
he's like, give me the strongest drink you have, it's not like it
matters anyway. And the bartender's like kinda' confused, but she
doesn't care, she's got stuff to do. So she gives him like a tall glass
of some strong Long Island iced tea, but you know with the bar
specialities...I don't even know what they call those. Anyway, so the
bartender gives this to the man, and the man looks at her for the first
time, and realizes she's pretty cute, daaaanggg. He's shy, but he's like
what the hell might as well, and he's like, hey I know this is like
super creepy or whatever, and you'll def be creeped out and stuff by it,
but whatevs, so can I get your number. The bartender's a nice
perceptive woman, and she's noticed how he looks kinda' down, so she
thinks, what the hell, it's not like he's gonna murder me or anything,
so she gives him her number.
Anyway, so as I was saying, the man is like super depressed, and wants to kill himself. So he takes out a pouch of poison, or a bottle of pills or stuff idk how they package life-ending chemicals, and pours it down his glass and stirs it. Since he just got the woman's number, he's had his ego boosted, but he doesn't really feel like anything so he's gonna take his time doing this.
Now, meanwhile, the woman happens to have a very protective and jealous kinda' boyfriend who happens to work in the bar too. But she doesn't realize all those qualities that he has, and she tells him how she gave her number to this one patron, and jokes about it. Now, he laughs about this in front of her, but is super angry about it. You know what I mean? Like, no one hits on my bae kinda guy, and he is SO mad. So he goes to the guy, catches him by the neck and says, 'Hey mister, I hear you hittin' up on my girl. I don't wanna create a problem here, but you gotta take it down, understood?' And the man is all, whatever bro, just what the fk do ya think your doing, just get off my back man. So the jealous boyfriend type guy is kinda offended, but he's gotta to what he has to, so he chugs the man's drink.
You think you know what is going to happen. Do you really though?
And the man begins to laugh uncontrollably. Like, he just won't stop. The bartender boyfriend his confused, so he asks what's up. After laughing for several minutes, the man stops and says, "So my wife left me last month and took with her everything I cared about. My house burned down last week, and the insurance company rejected my claim. I was fired from my job yesterday, and my parents called me to tell me they are disowning me. I got a call from my doctor an hour ago. I have stage three cancer. So with all that, I figured there was nothing worth living in my life, and decided to kill myself. Then I come here, and you beat me up and steal my drink. So I figured I can't even die right, because the drink was supposed to be poisoned". He is still laughing.
The bartender becomes pale, and is about to call 911 when the man adds, "And now I realize I cannot even do the not dying part right. I still have the poison on me-- I instead put the horse laxative that I had brought for my boss in the drink instead." And thus the bartender shits up a mountain, as they say in french.
Anyway, so as I was saying, the man is like super depressed, and wants to kill himself. So he takes out a pouch of poison, or a bottle of pills or stuff idk how they package life-ending chemicals, and pours it down his glass and stirs it. Since he just got the woman's number, he's had his ego boosted, but he doesn't really feel like anything so he's gonna take his time doing this.
Now, meanwhile, the woman happens to have a very protective and jealous kinda' boyfriend who happens to work in the bar too. But she doesn't realize all those qualities that he has, and she tells him how she gave her number to this one patron, and jokes about it. Now, he laughs about this in front of her, but is super angry about it. You know what I mean? Like, no one hits on my bae kinda guy, and he is SO mad. So he goes to the guy, catches him by the neck and says, 'Hey mister, I hear you hittin' up on my girl. I don't wanna create a problem here, but you gotta take it down, understood?' And the man is all, whatever bro, just what the fk do ya think your doing, just get off my back man. So the jealous boyfriend type guy is kinda offended, but he's gotta to what he has to, so he chugs the man's drink.
You think you know what is going to happen. Do you really though?
And the man begins to laugh uncontrollably. Like, he just won't stop. The bartender boyfriend his confused, so he asks what's up. After laughing for several minutes, the man stops and says, "So my wife left me last month and took with her everything I cared about. My house burned down last week, and the insurance company rejected my claim. I was fired from my job yesterday, and my parents called me to tell me they are disowning me. I got a call from my doctor an hour ago. I have stage three cancer. So with all that, I figured there was nothing worth living in my life, and decided to kill myself. Then I come here, and you beat me up and steal my drink. So I figured I can't even die right, because the drink was supposed to be poisoned". He is still laughing.
The bartender becomes pale, and is about to call 911 when the man adds, "And now I realize I cannot even do the not dying part right. I still have the poison on me-- I instead put the horse laxative that I had brought for my boss in the drink instead." And thus the bartender shits up a mountain, as they say in french.
Silent is the night
Tales from a different lifetime
Because I have nothing to do, except finding a job and having a life, I decided to go through the facebook album of a restaurant in Kathmandu. I had gone there a long time ago, and they had taken our photo. I didn't find it, beneath thousands of photos of other people in front of the big green carlsberg bottles.
Is this nostalgia? No. Not for Kathmandu, not for the life I will never have. Fear of the future, yes. Yearning of the past, no.
What happens when your best is now. I'd rather that never happened to me.
Why do men look like pigs, and women, pigs with lipsticks? Who knows. Humans haven't even figured out why we have those large protruded snouts, or the useless tails right above our place-of-poop so those real problems are unlike to be solved soon,
Because I have nothing to do, except finding a job and having a life, I decided to go through the facebook album of a restaurant in Kathmandu. I had gone there a long time ago, and they had taken our photo. I didn't find it, beneath thousands of photos of other people in front of the big green carlsberg bottles.
Is this nostalgia? No. Not for Kathmandu, not for the life I will never have. Fear of the future, yes. Yearning of the past, no.
What happens when your best is now. I'd rather that never happened to me.
Why do men look like pigs, and women, pigs with lipsticks? Who knows. Humans haven't even figured out why we have those large protruded snouts, or the useless tails right above our place-of-poop so those real problems are unlike to be solved soon,
Why O WHYY
THIS POEM IS DEDICATED TO S.
Why O why, won't you get lunch with me
Even as I assure you,
I am not tricking you into a date, oh you!
Why O why, won't you reply to my mails,
Even as I assure you,
I really really don't love you.
Why O why, will you not call me
As I leave you forever,
And why O why
Are we not friends anymore
Even as I tell you
You are really cool?
And why O why, don't we hang out
All on our own
And why O why will you insist
On bringing in friends of yours
And my own?
And why O why O why
Do you seem ever so sad
For all I know,
It seems 'tis the
Greatest time you have ever had
And why O why O why
Do you tell me,
To follow you
And why O why O why
Can't we lay down and just talk?
And why O why O why
Am I so in- vi-si-ble
And why O why O why
All the awwwk-wardness?
And why O why O why
Do I feel like a pervert
Even as I
Have done nothing covert?
And why O why O why
Do I still care
And why O why O why
Do I bother
And why O shy O why
Do I write Poems
And why O shy O why
Do I joke
And why O shy O why
Do I forget
All the things I am told
And why O shy O why
Does it even even matter?
Why O why, won't you get lunch with me
Even as I assure you,
I am not tricking you into a date, oh you!
Why O why, won't you reply to my mails,
Even as I assure you,
I really really don't love you.
Why O why, will you not call me
As I leave you forever,
And why O why
Are we not friends anymore
Even as I tell you
You are really cool?
And why O why, don't we hang out
All on our own
And why O why will you insist
On bringing in friends of yours
And my own?
And why O why O why
Do you seem ever so sad
For all I know,
It seems 'tis the
Greatest time you have ever had
And why O why O why
Do you tell me,
To follow you
And why O why O why
Can't we lay down and just talk?
And why O why O why
Am I so in- vi-si-ble
And why O why O why
All the awwwk-wardness?
And why O why O why
Do I feel like a pervert
Even as I
Have done nothing covert?
And why O why O why
Do I still care
And why O why O why
Do I bother
And why O shy O why
Do I write Poems
And why O shy O why
Do I joke
And why O shy O why
Do I forget
All the things I am told
And why O shy O why
Does it even even matter?
Stream of consciousness: six months into history
I had to write ten long-ish lines for a software project I was working on. Here's what I wrote:
this is a document that is cool i don't know if i am supposed to strip anything or not, but I think it
works fine and I am really excited to be able to be working on this wonderful project
cats eat dogs and dogs eat tigers, but tigers are very happy creatures while none of the other creatures of the animal world are like as happy as tigers and dogs and cats
some animals are more equal than others, but most animals are mostly equal, unless some animals have guns and bazookas to destroy other animals' lifestyle and cause general mayhem in the world
hashbrowns are wonderful inventions made of potatoes they were invented in the Italian subcontinent but were brough to america by the late immigrants of the nineteenth century
sometimes people wonder why other people dont like them and forget the fact that people are so annoying in general and if only they would ask them to add them to snapchat every damn time they met maybe people would like them but no it seems they are not going to stop
this is a long log of the captain of the ship where the ship sails in the seas like a majestic ruler out to get her rightfully owned resources in places like Germany and England and the united states of america which is surprising but not really or is it lol I am so confused right now so dont even mention it
I have written some seven lines and as I am not eating potatoes I definitely do not have the energy to
write all ten lines of them so we will be leaving the writing right here.
this is a document that is cool i don't know if i am supposed to strip anything or not, but I think it
works fine and I am really excited to be able to be working on this wonderful project
cats eat dogs and dogs eat tigers, but tigers are very happy creatures while none of the other creatures of the animal world are like as happy as tigers and dogs and cats
some animals are more equal than others, but most animals are mostly equal, unless some animals have guns and bazookas to destroy other animals' lifestyle and cause general mayhem in the world
hashbrowns are wonderful inventions made of potatoes they were invented in the Italian subcontinent but were brough to america by the late immigrants of the nineteenth century
sometimes people wonder why other people dont like them and forget the fact that people are so annoying in general and if only they would ask them to add them to snapchat every damn time they met maybe people would like them but no it seems they are not going to stop
this is a long log of the captain of the ship where the ship sails in the seas like a majestic ruler out to get her rightfully owned resources in places like Germany and England and the united states of america which is surprising but not really or is it lol I am so confused right now so dont even mention it
I have written some seven lines and as I am not eating potatoes I definitely do not have the energy to
write all ten lines of them so we will be leaving the writing right here.
Retrospection
In retrospect, trying to live vicariously through others is not as exciting as I imagined it would be. Unless you are particularly adept at, or enjoy to a certain extent, the fine art of puppeteering people, the stories get boring. Certain stories are fun for the first time for their shock factor; once they are done more than once, they lose their charm.
If you have a friend who makes the 'at least we'll get a cool story out of it' argument often, take heed: the story will be gotten, and in retrospect it will be boring, quite in line with your storyline and will surprise no one. People will start looking at their watches, start snapchatting right as you tell them your exciting saga, and even friends will try to wriggle out of your stories.
Living life to get a good story out of it is no different than living life to get a good youtube channel out of it, or to getting good facebook posts. When you live for stories, the real stories elude you.
What gives good stories their power, then? Real life is certainly just as interesting as the best stories there are, for sure. Storytellers obviously matter, but the stories matter too. Just as you're not going to get an interesting tale out of reading a Nabokov novel on your couch (unless your couch happens to be in Iran, and you happen to be a pathogenic liar, in which case Iran is not a requirement) the most interesting tales are not going to happen by living purely for the tales.
Perhaps then, it is the burning fire of passion to live, learn and observe that matters, along with a passing interest in recording and collating reality. You can make a incredibly interesting life out of forging swords, or you could have traveled the whole world a hundred times over, and still have had a humdrum life.
I extrapolate here. I write these words with great uncertainty, fear, disappointment, and deep within me, strongly burning desire to figuratively show the finger to something or someone. That needs figuring out. You've not even seen the rest of my to-do list.
I asked a favor four years ago, and I do so again to the severely dwindled readers who still bother to check here. If you are a person of faith, pray for me. If you are a weirdo, ask for blessings from the Flying Spaghetti Monster and the Holy Kabballa Monster. If you consider yourself to be above all those stupid imbeciles, do they have no minds, they are so irrational, why can't everyone be perfectly rational and make good judgments like you, hope, wish, for me that the die-roll that is job-hunting gets me my number. My number in the die is like...12 . Soo, wish really hard for me to get 12 on the dice. Hold your breath for a minute, and the wish will be likelier to come true. Because, less competition.
If you have a friend who makes the 'at least we'll get a cool story out of it' argument often, take heed: the story will be gotten, and in retrospect it will be boring, quite in line with your storyline and will surprise no one. People will start looking at their watches, start snapchatting right as you tell them your exciting saga, and even friends will try to wriggle out of your stories.
Living life to get a good story out of it is no different than living life to get a good youtube channel out of it, or to getting good facebook posts. When you live for stories, the real stories elude you.
What gives good stories their power, then? Real life is certainly just as interesting as the best stories there are, for sure. Storytellers obviously matter, but the stories matter too. Just as you're not going to get an interesting tale out of reading a Nabokov novel on your couch (unless your couch happens to be in Iran, and you happen to be a pathogenic liar, in which case Iran is not a requirement) the most interesting tales are not going to happen by living purely for the tales.
Perhaps then, it is the burning fire of passion to live, learn and observe that matters, along with a passing interest in recording and collating reality. You can make a incredibly interesting life out of forging swords, or you could have traveled the whole world a hundred times over, and still have had a humdrum life.
I extrapolate here. I write these words with great uncertainty, fear, disappointment, and deep within me, strongly burning desire to figuratively show the finger to something or someone. That needs figuring out. You've not even seen the rest of my to-do list.
I asked a favor four years ago, and I do so again to the severely dwindled readers who still bother to check here. If you are a person of faith, pray for me. If you are a weirdo, ask for blessings from the Flying Spaghetti Monster and the Holy Kabballa Monster. If you consider yourself to be above all those stupid imbeciles, do they have no minds, they are so irrational, why can't everyone be perfectly rational and make good judgments like you, hope, wish, for me that the die-roll that is job-hunting gets me my number. My number in the die is like...12 . Soo, wish really hard for me to get 12 on the dice. Hold your breath for a minute, and the wish will be likelier to come true. Because, less competition.
Sleepy Seer's Predictions for the next Six Months
*Starts Shaking*
Three of a kind, will go paths apart, pairs of birds, all on their own. Two lovebirds will be together, out of nowhere and surprising themselves. There will be a big occasion, a festive occasion, where friends from lands all over shall meet. This occasion shall lead to repercussions lasting far into the foggy future, unseen even by yours only. Lot of water, I see a lot of water. Green water. I see brown, light brown. There's an artist, a painter, looming in the not-so-distant future, waiting for the stokes of red paint. The artist will cause friendships, and an artist will lead a nation.
There will be animals: a bull, big and brown, and a rabbit.
Commentary: I cannot even count upto three for number of friends who are in a relationship. The lovebirds prediction is very general. A festive occasion-- Dashain, perhaps? Is someone getting married? Hope my classmates don't start getting pregnant yet. Haha, of course, weddings with many young people usually lead to long-lasting repercussions. Or any event, with men and women. What about the water? Will it be a wet winter? A wet summer? Green water.. Hmm, maybe I am going to Australia? That would explain the brown, light brown... Who's the painter, who is excited for the red paint? Does that allude to a murder, or just someone who is good at painting reddish paintings? Will I meet an artist in Australia? I am so totally confused by 'an artist' leading 'a nation'. Perhaps, one of MaHa is going to become the PrimeMinister, or something similar? Or maybe Alec Baldwin will win NYC mayorship or US presidency?
Fking bulls and rabbits, they don't even make sense anymore.
Three of a kind, will go paths apart, pairs of birds, all on their own. Two lovebirds will be together, out of nowhere and surprising themselves. There will be a big occasion, a festive occasion, where friends from lands all over shall meet. This occasion shall lead to repercussions lasting far into the foggy future, unseen even by yours only. Lot of water, I see a lot of water. Green water. I see brown, light brown. There's an artist, a painter, looming in the not-so-distant future, waiting for the stokes of red paint. The artist will cause friendships, and an artist will lead a nation.
There will be animals: a bull, big and brown, and a rabbit.
Commentary: I cannot even count upto three for number of friends who are in a relationship. The lovebirds prediction is very general. A festive occasion-- Dashain, perhaps? Is someone getting married? Hope my classmates don't start getting pregnant yet. Haha, of course, weddings with many young people usually lead to long-lasting repercussions. Or any event, with men and women. What about the water? Will it be a wet winter? A wet summer? Green water.. Hmm, maybe I am going to Australia? That would explain the brown, light brown... Who's the painter, who is excited for the red paint? Does that allude to a murder, or just someone who is good at painting reddish paintings? Will I meet an artist in Australia? I am so totally confused by 'an artist' leading 'a nation'. Perhaps, one of MaHa is going to become the PrimeMinister, or something similar? Or maybe Alec Baldwin will win NYC mayorship or US presidency?
Fking bulls and rabbits, they don't even make sense anymore.
Portrayal of the author as a dishonorable man, and other stories of bravery and cadence from the very mouth of our own local storyteller general
What are you thinking?
What are we doing?
What have we done to each other...
They say when the going gets tough, the tough get going, while the smart ones sit about, think for a bit, let the tough get going, and when results come in, take the credit for success, and blame the tough for the failures. And the tough will get going, because, lets all be clear here, the going will be getting tougher folks!
I mention toughness because I watched a quite disturbing movie lately. A couple of times actually. I imagine the writers wanted to shock the viewers, and put them in kind of a daze. For me, it was a series of reminders of people I know and used to know. I know this person... Waiiit, that *totally* happened to someone I know!... That.. doesn't sound too terrible... And so onwards. If you've not watched Gone Girl, you should be up on your horse right now.
They say to write about something, you need to know the field inside out, so you know your subjects well and understand the nuances of different issues. They say, you must know ten times of what you put on paper ( or screen, as it may). That's all bull. If everyone started writing about only the things...
I can't do it anymore. के गर्ने? :( आई क्यान्ट राइट एनिमोर, नट इवन दि अन्फन्नी शीट आई युज्डटु राइट.
My goose is cooked.
What are we doing?
What have we done to each other...
They say when the going gets tough, the tough get going, while the smart ones sit about, think for a bit, let the tough get going, and when results come in, take the credit for success, and blame the tough for the failures. And the tough will get going, because, lets all be clear here, the going will be getting tougher folks!
I mention toughness because I watched a quite disturbing movie lately. A couple of times actually. I imagine the writers wanted to shock the viewers, and put them in kind of a daze. For me, it was a series of reminders of people I know and used to know. I know this person... Waiiit, that *totally* happened to someone I know!... That.. doesn't sound too terrible... And so onwards. If you've not watched Gone Girl, you should be up on your horse right now.
They say to write about something, you need to know the field inside out, so you know your subjects well and understand the nuances of different issues. They say, you must know ten times of what you put on paper ( or screen, as it may). That's all bull. If everyone started writing about only the things...
I can't do it anymore. के गर्ने? :( आई क्यान्ट राइट एनिमोर, नट इवन दि अन्फन्नी शीट आई युज्डटु राइट.
My goose is cooked.
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