What it feels like to be in Kathmandu

 When I'm in Kathmandu it feels like having an awkward catchup with a former lover, somebody you had a loving and passionate love affair and now you've grown apart and sure there's a lot of things that are the same, but things have changed, you know? And yeah in theory you want to be together all the time, and everytime you meet you remember all of the awesome things about them and wonder why you ever left because this is awesome, it is everything you expected from somebody, and you keep hanging out with them, and parts of them that you didn't care for as much, and things that drove you apart become obvious. And then you start having trouble breathing properly (literally, in case of the city) and then you remember the problems and issues and how things didn't work out, and you can see those things happening again, and you're so goddamn glad you're not there anymore, so glad things went the way they did. But deep in your heart you have a small flame for them, ready to become an inferno that'll take you down that you fear but things have changed, you're a different person they're a different person you don't need to worry about it, of all the things to care about, ending up there would be low on the list of concerns. It's fine, you had a good time them, you're having a good time, the catchup was perfect everything you wanted, and now you're gonna go back in your non-them life, and explore the world, become a better person and trudge through adulthood. But maybe, mayyyybee, oneee dayyyy, you'll end up back? No, you tell yourself, never. Ever. Because of all the things, the ones you don't like, awful, yeah. As an adult you're more open to making compromises though, will you take a step back on those concerns? You're open to the possibilities, though aware that it would be extraordinary optimistic to assume it might go anywhere at all, though obviously not impossible.