Vancouver Finally Decides to Allow Street Food and Taco Trucks!

Vancouver Finally Decides to Allow Street Food and Taco Trucks!: "

Heh, so Vancouvers can now eat Chatpate... Niice :)

News outlets are all atwitter because it looks like Japadog's about to get some (much needed) culinary competition of the street variety. The City has announced that it's doing a summer pilot project to give mobile kitchens, ala Portland, the chance to sell food on city sidewalks. God, yes!

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Pictures from Singapore: Singapore the 'fine' city

 'Singapore is a fine city' reads a T-Shirt I bought there, and then goes on to show a dozen signs that state fines for even the smallest demeanour. While in Singapore, I realised it's more of a nanny state than a democracy, but hardly anyone complains,  'cause it's a really, really good and successful nanny state.

Here are some of the signs I thought were funny and/or outlandish.

The first picture reminded me of BNKS, where 'Speak in English' charts were as common as students ignoring those charts and never speaking in English.



The one on the right was interesting because I have never seen a 'Don't drive to drink' sign. It might be grammatically correct, but is not easy to understand. At first I assumed it was some kind of prank, before seeing it on every street corner and realising that it could not have been one. They should perhaps change it to 'Don't Drink And Drive' so that drivers can concentrate on the road instead of trying to decipher what the poster meant?

The meaning here is abundantly clear--if you have some kind of business here, say, stealing, robbery or kidnapping, go ahead and trespass. However, if you are one of those hippies who trespass on other people's properties just for the fun of it with no business at all, sorry no trespassing. Either find a business here, like maybe pooing inside our perimeters, or get the fk outta here.

The Emergency communications button on the train. Fine for misusing the button: 5000 Sin$. I wondered frequently if the government ever planned to enforce those outrageous fines, or was just trying to deter the potential vandals out of their wits.

Or maybe, it's a kind of reality show where they have hidden cameras nearby and will show the shocked faces of potential criminals who see the notice as a television program 

This bridge is obviously old. It's no surprise that they are expecting a horde of cows to invade Shenton way and disrupt not only the Singaporean economy, but global economy as well. And of course, who can forget the wild horses header by Black Beauty who have always wanted to go to Singapore to see Clarke Quay and all the awesome Singaporean malls. Sorry ya'll, horses and cows and buffaloes, the Police say you cannot go in there. What? Maybe we can make 'arrangements'? Umm, I don't think so-- It's the Chief Police Officer himself who says you can't go in there. Says he'll personally look into it if he finds any cattle or horses there. Yeah, tough luck. Lets try some other place.

Thank you, you good young man and the pretty lady for teaching me all the good manners. I promise I'll be a good boy and gracious to others.

The Singaporean Government has an important message for everyone-- Brush your teeth twice daily, or there will be no girl who will accept your bunch of roses, even  if you tell her you really love her, and show her a ticket to Paris and Switzerland for after she says yes. Thanks for listening!

Please lower your voice after 10 PM. We don't care what you do before that because our shift does not start until then. Thank god we don;t have to live near those loud buffaloes during the day.

Warning! Do not leave your wife alone at the zoo, or the tigers will try to molest her and then dance with her. Ladies, be with your husbands-- the Lionesses are really sluttish and may seduce your husband in a moment's notice. 









April Fools! Ya know what the biggest joke was? This notice was a prank and there was no party on the April Fool's day. Heh!

'Nuff, FB, nuff'

And now, why grammar does not work like maths: because negatives dont give the opposite meaning. In FB, I just saw a wall conversation which, had I not known people involved, I would have considered lewd. Clue: Isn't it funny how you can use the word 'cool' without ANY confusion, but the word 'hot' which is literally just the opposite of 'cool' has basically the same meaning but with a lot more sexual overtone? 'Lets get cool' is innocent, 'Lets get Hot', not so much. Just sayin'
I am pretty sure the second post's gonna come down once he realises the other meaning--or not. But this is fun. I only wish I could give out the link...

Pomposity Unlimited

I am not sure if the word ‘pompous’ can be used with negative connotations, but if it can, I know several places where it fits right in.

This pseudo-resume-cum-essay, for example.


Now, you might not know this, but I am a fluent speaker of no lesser than Seven languages. English, Nepali. Hindi, and Sanskrit are common. I also know ancient Tamu, Ancient  Musahar and ancient Khas(which is completely different from the one spoken in modern western Nepal). I am sure my language skills will prove invaluable to any company I work for and I am certain I will be indispensable to my employers, because of my language skills. Because I can speak so many different languages, I also have the ability to understand feelings of the people who are different from me, and therefore I am a very good team player. In fact, because of my diverse knowledge of languages, I have frequently been the coordinating point of any group and therefore I am an excellent leader to any group I am assigned. All because of my language skills.

I dont have to mention my academic strengths because you probably know it, but you might need reminding, so here it is, all over again. My academic accomplishments have made me very popular among the teachers, and they frequently come to me to ask really tough questions. Once, there were so many teachers trying to ask me questions at the same time that I had to assign meeting times and I was full for a week. I mean, you cannot help those poor bastards during the exam time, because the others would think they dont know anything. And it was really difficult to squeeze time between the national swimming tournaments I was winning and feeding the beggars by my own hand.

And that brings us to my sporting achievements. I don’t want to brag or anything, but I have come in the top three in every sporting event I have ever participated, except for once. When I was 11, I attended an Olympic pole vault practice tournament, and was placed sixth out of sixteen. The din of that defeat still deafens me, and since then I have vowed to never drink or sleep or rest till I succeed, and have never failed since. My achievements have been recognised by Nepal Shooting Association, Nepal Dojo Karate Association, Nepal Archery Association and Nepal Pole dancing vaulting Association among many others. I am sure to be a great resource to any organisation that needs a sports team. I am also a great fitness coach, motivational coach, and academic coach. I pretty much excel in all kinds of coaching there is and even some of those that aren’t. If you need help in anything, call me and I’ll get you out of the mess. You have problem repairing your spacecraft orbiting Mars? No problem! You want to date Hermione Granger but dont know where to start? Call me! You want to give your eyes a treat by viewing Edward Cullen’s perfect six-pack abs that radiate power and cuteness at the same, his hair that enchants you with its hypnotic beauty, or his face that you cant describe(probably because Meyer never) with words? I am here to make things work for you. From applying to colleges to discovering the cure for cancer to dating imaginary celebrities, I am the man you should be looking to help for.


Have I told you about my co-curricular activities? When I am free, I like to collect money to feed the poor and needy children of Ethiopia and Somalia. I have fed them from my very hands once(they were in front of the UN Commision for Refugees but that’s another story). I want to be able to go to their country and see how they live, what they eat, what they drink, and the kind of people they date so I can help them. I have started a fundraiser for me to go to some countries to help the children there, and if you care about little children, or think puppies are cute, you will surely contribute some money to the fund.


But dont let my super-ness blind you. I am an average person, albeit a very inspiring one. I was born stark naked; I had no golden bangles or spoons or body armour to help me. I was not given the unfair advantage of great height or weight, and despite all those unfairness against me, I kept persistent. I said to myself: ‘So what if I am not one of those who are given life skills at their birth. What if I dont know how to drive a car or how to graze cattle, I have the ability to work hard and succeed’ and succeed I finally did. So be inspired by me. Look, I am basically a normal person but with some special tricks and tunes, I am an inspiring person, and if you follow my advice you can be one too.

The Dancing Stars

WARNING: The write-up following this warning has the frequent use of the word 'whore' and also has several minor and indirect references to sex, though most people might not be able to get it. If you are a smart person who gets sarcasm, and are uncomfortable with words like 'sex', 'whores' etcetera, you are advised to immediately close the window and go back to using facebook. If you happen to be related to the writer, please give a 500-word explanation on why you are reading this, even though he has NEVER given you, or anyone else, any hint of the existence of such a page as this. If you are a dumbo who will not get even easy pop-culture references, move ahead with full steam! And enjoy the dirty words!!!

I learned a very important life lesson from one of my close friends yesterday: you should never, ever let a dancer who you suspect is also an illegal service provider, from taking a sip from your bottle of drink. Things will get weird REAL fast, and you will have to abandon the exuberantly-priced drink forever. NO, you can NOT drink it after cleaning the glass and stuff. I don't understand why, but that's the rule, apparently.

What interests me is whether the dancer would still have drunk the drink had it been of less alcoholic nature. Say, you are in a place you really, really should not be, where you can be arrested from simply because you were there.You are drinking your glass of Fanta-- and lets be honest, who does not enjoy a glass of Fanta or two when things get too heated-- when the dancer comes around to your table. You are not sure what to do, because if you flirt, Ewww man what were you thinking..Standards, man, standards, and if you dont, you look like a total wuss. So you give a shot to your cool-dude look, and sort of smile that you know exudes confidence and coolness. The dancer does not notice, but what does she do? Will she take the glass and drink it as if it were some exotic drink, or laugh at you because come on, Fanta?

Warning: the following paragraph has the s-word in it. Leave now if you are offended. I shall not be responsible for the mental trauma you may experience after reading the following paragraph. Proceed with caution!!!
My friend was lucky he and the others were not caught. Apparently, the place they went to is one of the most frequently-raided places in Kathmandu, and many suspect some of the dancers there sometime also moonshine as(brace for it) sex-workers. I am not sure if it's the having a side job thing that the police mind or the nature of the job, but the important thing is, the police are not happy with those people. Those dancers are not good enough, then?

Also, someone told me the other day that such dancers are basically students who come from faraway districts who want to have THE dream lifestyle, but once they realize they cannot afford it in three lifetimes if they go the conventional way, they choose slightly unconventional way. I wonder how much of student-ing they get to do, with all the jobs they have. And what do they study anyways? International relations? Fluid Dynamics? Quantum Mechanics? Law? My guess is Business Studies, so they can study their market, and cater even to several niche markets, but whatever.

Pictures from Singapore: The Singaporean paradise for shoppers!

 As everyone knows, Singapore is absolutely the shopping heaven for all shoppers. And so it was for me.

This is perhaps my favourite Singapore-photo post. I absolutely loved all the malls and complexes and boulevards I went to.

The last two pictures are Panoramas, and don't they look absolutely fantastic?

The first two photos are from Vivo City mall, the largest Singaporean mall, and I will be posting a separate post on the mall later.

In the second photo, a concert for little kids is being prepared for, with the sound system, the stage and everything. When the kiddies get too excited and want to totally rock out, they could conveniently jump in the pool of balls(bottom right) 

One of the malls near the Esplanade. The stairs go much higher and this entire thing looks like a blooming lotus.

An art work by Anthony Poon, right outside on of the Orchard strip. Most big malls had several works of arts exhibited in their lobby--one in Orchard boulevard had a two-storeyed Durian outside the main entrance. (Durian is a fruit that some Singaporeans love while others absolutely hate. In fact, some restaurants post the sign 'No weapons, outside food, and Durian allowed)

A receipt of a shirt. I loved the fact that they insisted on giving you the receipt for every little thing you bought. By the end of my month-long trip, I had hundreds of small receipts of purchases of Ice-creams, burgers, cookies, drinks, and stuffed toys.

A really, really long escalator. There seems to be no limit to how long escalators can be-- a newly open mall in Orchard road in 14 storeys high, and you can get to the topmost floor only through 2 escalators. The first escalator goes seven floors, and the second goes eight floors. Thulo mamu did not get on them because she was scared of the height(yes, they are scarily tall)

The newly-opened mall in KL. The owners had been trying to experiment with new localities, so this looked like a grisly bear in North pole. Other tourists were equally surprised to find such a high-end mall in the less-effluent are too. 




Plaza Singapura. It's cheaper than the malls in Orchard, but just as great. I did most of my shopping here.

Photos from Singapore: The Life-size Villains at Illuma Mall

 Of all the awesome malls in Singapore, Illuma was the coolest. It had a kind of Indie-ish feel to it, had all these interesting exhibitions all over(robot made from garbage, paining made by a brush on a wheel, you get the idea) and the shops their were remarkable different from all other malls.

Most of the exhibitions had 'no photos please' on them, so I respected that and did not take pictures. However, there was this 'evil guys exhibition' in the main lobby that did not have 'no-photos' notice anywhere nearby.

See, this is soo cool, and there this was one of the lamer exhibitions. Respect for Illuma.

Illuma's wikipedia page:
https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Iluma

Crotch shots are self-destruct buttons

During our Karate classes, we referred to crotch shots as Kidney shots. For two reasons: 1) The place that's been attacked does not hurt at all, but the kidneys hurt, and I am repeating myself here, AS HELL, and 2) We had other local names for the shots, but we preferred not using them because a 'kidney shot' could well be used in front of girls and teachers(either gender) alike. Also, no one ever wanted to be the wuss who got hit in the crotch, so 'getting hit on the kidneys' was a good euphemism.

Kidney--I mean-- crotch shots: are they cool or what? Whenever the heroine's being kidnapped and the writers are running out of ideas, there's always the good ole' crotch shot, the Deux et Machina that never fails. What is so cool about them? Why's everyone so pumped about the phenomena, and why do practitioners of serious marital martial arts consider winning a fight because of a crotch shot so disgraceful? Also, when Bhim hit Duryodhan on the crotch and killed him, why did Balram want to kill Bhim? Was Balram one of those homophobes who had not caught up with his brother's more progressive ideas, and had to be explained the concept by the Lord Krishna's Birat form himself ( itself? herself? I'll never understand poly-sexual deities) ?

Scientists believe that crotches are self-distruct buttons for human males. Since evolution favored them with greater physical strength and agility (ladies, it's because of the hormones), they(or I should say we, but that sounds like that it's all my fault, so lets go with they) soon realized that they could easily overpower the women. So for those times when the gents got too molest-y for comfort, nature developed the self-destruct region for use of the females. Quick, simple, and effective. Throughout the ages, this idea has helped balance the forces of yin and yang, darkness and light, good and evil, Apollonian and Dionysian, male and female, those who have a vulnerable crotch and those who don't.

Of course, there are other related issues we could be discussing about, but right now I want to address a serious issue that has buggered humanity for millenia and millenia.

How on earth did people discover that that area was the particularly vulnerable region?

When we were at school, there were several fire alarms and axes and hammers and extinguishers. They all had simple instructions: In Case of Emergency, Break the Glass and Use the Device. Use Heavy Things, like Bricks, sticks and Stones (which apparently are just as useful during times of Emergency as they are in breaking bones and bullying as a whole, which I think is a proper art, but lets not go into such controversial issues now) To Break Glass.

So, where do the instructions for the crotch area come in? There's probably an instinctive instruction code inside our brains that says 'Hit There. Apply Concentrated Force to Cause Maximum Damage. May Cause Impotency and Other Fertility-Related Diseases, But He's Totally Asking For It.' Alternatively, maybe there's some kind of sign there, some kind of a signaling method or something, that attracts other people there, that tells people that it's a region everyone should attack and--- Umm... Never mind...I've totally run out of ideas. I don't even remember how I was planning to complete that sentence. Dumb me.

Pictures from Malaysia: Genting and Malaysian night

We strolled around KL in the evenings, and we accidentally came across this super-mall that was really close to the place we were staying in. It was grander and posher than anything we had seen in Malaysia(or in Singapore). We were surprised at the level of maintenance(considering that everything in Malaysia was less-maintained than it would have been in Singapore) when we found out that the mall had opened only a week before. The mystery was solved.

Malaysia has a pretty vibrant lifestyle, and it really helps if you are not a conservative Muslim. If you are a non-Muslim foreigner in Malaysia, you have much more freedom in Malaysia than in Singapore.

Example: As we were strolling, we came across literally hundreds of prostitutes(some even gay) openly soliciting. There is an understanding, it seems, that if they don't bother the local Malaysians and Muslims, they may go ahead with their jobs quietly. I had already been in similar situations several times but it felt awkward there because it was supposed to be a conservative Muslim country where women are still given lashes for infidelity.

My masterpiece yet? Perhaps. We were just strolling around the touristy are when I snapped this--along with several others--and it just fit in. I love this picture. No, I don't think it is infatuation. This time, I suspect it is real love. Heh.

'The Cyclone'-- my first real amusement ride, and I loved every moment of it. I was prepared to be scared out of my wits in the Genting Amusement Park, but after the Cyclone I realised I was made for such rides. Throw any ride you can at me, world, I will take it like a man... or a really brave woman...

The next two pictures are from 'The Swing'. They strapped you in those seats and then swung them around like merry-go-round crazy. And once you started getting used to the swings, they would change the axis of rotation and up the speed, so you would scream like hell and cry like a baby.

This ride made me understand why people shout in such rides. If you stay quiet, you are taking in the fear. If you shout, you don't get the time to get scared because you are keeping busy, and the body just pays less attention to the fact that you are swinging like crazy and if it does not stop this very moment, you might puke and die of heart attack, dammit! Why is no one listening and stopping the ride? What is that? Is that pain in the chest THE heart attack? OMG!

The Dragon ride. Looked fun at first, so I went in. It was not at all thrilling(the shrills everyone made while on the ride would have made you thought otherwise, though) but a sort of guided tour to the entire place. We went inside the mall and the hotel while in the ride, and then dived into the water.

'The Caterpillar'-- a ride to the boundaries of the park. It was a guide to how many awesome rides there were.

The caterpillar's cutesy-funny face reminded me of the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland.

The following three photos were taken while I was in The Dragon ride. We went into the mall, over the shops and into the hotel.

I was not expecting to actually enter the building while in the ride, so it was a very pleasant surprise for me.

In the picture on the right, you can see the tracks for the ride right above the shops. The yellow car visible on the left is the one that left just after us.

A Rote Ping right inside the building! What will they think of next?

Such a cutesy toy-house and teapot. I find the teapot strangely attractive.

One of the bad rides, where they try to make you feel as if you were in an alien lab. They shake the chamber, and the outer part rotates around, making you feel that it is you who is rotating, and that you could fall down any time.

Not as much fun as other rides.

The Malaysian Space Shuttle. Notice how poorly it is maintained.

The really cool ride called 'The Bolt' which I missed because it started raining. The only ride in the whole park I missed.

Elephants, Dinosaurs and Dodo great us together during a boat-ride. I thought the moral of the story was that Elephants are going to be extinct really soon.

A really small and slow Ferris Wheel. They don't make 'em as they used to.

Kart racing. Pfft.

The above-mentioned lame Ferris wheel. We met another Nepali family there, though could not talk to them because we were in different boxes, and they seemed to be in hurry.


























The cable car from Genting back to the station. This too claimed to be the fastest in world. I did not find it any different than the one in Manakamana. The speed was just about the same, though their claims probably much inflated.