Pictures from Singapore: Singapore the 'fine' city

 'Singapore is a fine city' reads a T-Shirt I bought there, and then goes on to show a dozen signs that state fines for even the smallest demeanour. While in Singapore, I realised it's more of a nanny state than a democracy, but hardly anyone complains,  'cause it's a really, really good and successful nanny state.

Here are some of the signs I thought were funny and/or outlandish.

The first picture reminded me of BNKS, where 'Speak in English' charts were as common as students ignoring those charts and never speaking in English.



The one on the right was interesting because I have never seen a 'Don't drive to drink' sign. It might be grammatically correct, but is not easy to understand. At first I assumed it was some kind of prank, before seeing it on every street corner and realising that it could not have been one. They should perhaps change it to 'Don't Drink And Drive' so that drivers can concentrate on the road instead of trying to decipher what the poster meant?

The meaning here is abundantly clear--if you have some kind of business here, say, stealing, robbery or kidnapping, go ahead and trespass. However, if you are one of those hippies who trespass on other people's properties just for the fun of it with no business at all, sorry no trespassing. Either find a business here, like maybe pooing inside our perimeters, or get the fk outta here.

The Emergency communications button on the train. Fine for misusing the button: 5000 Sin$. I wondered frequently if the government ever planned to enforce those outrageous fines, or was just trying to deter the potential vandals out of their wits.

Or maybe, it's a kind of reality show where they have hidden cameras nearby and will show the shocked faces of potential criminals who see the notice as a television program 

This bridge is obviously old. It's no surprise that they are expecting a horde of cows to invade Shenton way and disrupt not only the Singaporean economy, but global economy as well. And of course, who can forget the wild horses header by Black Beauty who have always wanted to go to Singapore to see Clarke Quay and all the awesome Singaporean malls. Sorry ya'll, horses and cows and buffaloes, the Police say you cannot go in there. What? Maybe we can make 'arrangements'? Umm, I don't think so-- It's the Chief Police Officer himself who says you can't go in there. Says he'll personally look into it if he finds any cattle or horses there. Yeah, tough luck. Lets try some other place.

Thank you, you good young man and the pretty lady for teaching me all the good manners. I promise I'll be a good boy and gracious to others.

The Singaporean Government has an important message for everyone-- Brush your teeth twice daily, or there will be no girl who will accept your bunch of roses, even  if you tell her you really love her, and show her a ticket to Paris and Switzerland for after she says yes. Thanks for listening!

Please lower your voice after 10 PM. We don't care what you do before that because our shift does not start until then. Thank god we don;t have to live near those loud buffaloes during the day.

Warning! Do not leave your wife alone at the zoo, or the tigers will try to molest her and then dance with her. Ladies, be with your husbands-- the Lionesses are really sluttish and may seduce your husband in a moment's notice. 









April Fools! Ya know what the biggest joke was? This notice was a prank and there was no party on the April Fool's day. Heh!