Cheeses

I had three cheeses today. Descriptions.

Gouda: Imagine you are lost in the countryside, and it's raining. There's miles of wheat farm around you, and visibility is limited. You're drenched to your socks. At this point, you're praying you don't get pneumonia. You see a two-storeyed house several hundred feet away, and run towards it. Your shoes get stuck in the loose mud, and by the time you're knocking at the door, both your shoes are plastered in mud. A woman with a baby on her arms opens the door. You explain your situation -- she tells you the husband has gone to the town and invites you to the house. You call your friends and it's decided they will pick you up the next day. You ask your host if there's any place you can spend the night in, and she offers the guest room.

The guest room is made of wood -- vintage wood that smells good, and has several wooden barrels(important). It's the driest wood you've ever seen, and your (quickly drying) wetness is a sharp contrast to how warm and dry the room is. Your host gets the large fireplace in the room going, and you dry your cloths near the fire.

Your host brings you a big glass of the fattiest milk you've ever had. You notice her complexion is that of light-honey, and that she still has some of what you assume to be birth-weight. Your cloths are dry now, and you talk to her. Somehow, you end up having sex with her, even though that was the last thing in your mind. The feeling you get right after the sex is the same feeling you get after eating (the) Gouda (I had). Regardless of your gender/sexual orientation.

Unknown Cheese(White-er): The teenage girlfriend who everyone thinks you must have hoodwinked to be with you. She is attractive, and is into sports. She's probably in her school's sports team had you bothered trying to know more about her school life but you think that's creepy. School was a long time ago for you. She is almost taller than you are, and tries to get you to follow her physically-demanding regiment. Sometimes, you feel it would probably have been a good idea to be with someone closer to your age. She's gorgeous though, and relentlessly faithful. She melts when you want her to. Your feelings for her are three parts love, one part incredulity, and one part annoyance.

Eating this cheese is like is having dated that month for almost three years now and waiting to hang out with your other friends in the weekend.

Unknown Cheese(Yellower): If you had to describe the taste in one phrase, you would call it 'sharp without the cutting edge'. But that doesn't explain the full range of tastes of the cheese.

The woman from Gouda cheese may have smelled like this when she was pregnant.You were deeply in love with her even though she was married to someone else and few days away from birthing his child. But maybe not, because this cheese is not that strong.

Your mouth is buttery for several minutes after eating this cheese even though you don't think it's particularly heavy or buttery. The burp the cheese brings out of you is not violent or annoying -- you feel like it's a natural course of eating it. It goes in smooth, and is not as goody-goody as the whiter cheese (see: second cheese) but neither is it as dark as gouda. If this cheese were your friend, you would hang out once in a while -- maybe even do double dates-- but nothing more often.

The color of grass the pasture animal that produced the milk for this cheese must have been grazing on would be light green, if you think about it. It just seems that kind of cheese.

Inspired by this

Originally posted on March 25. Backdated to March 15.