I am not sure what the audition was for. I knew the director: he's got lots of facial hair, bald, recently joined the maoists, has children in Australia, but I cant get his name right. This guy was there, taking auditions, and apparently audiences were allowed. I sat with one of my fellow stringers from ekantipur. A girl of about 20-22 had just finished; she was tall, too much makeup and looked so plastique that you couldn't even tell if she was pretty or not. And the perfume was absolutely horrible.
"So, is anyone left," the director asked his assistant. The assistant looked at his clipboard and said that a boy of 12 was the last performer. "Bring him in," the director said, with a long sigh. His eyes were droopy, and you could tell he really wanted to go to the canteen for a smoke and have some sandwich, which is cheap and is pretty good. You should try Kantipur Publication's canteen's chicken sandwiches.
This little guy had a Dhaka topi on, was carrying a tiny Nepali flag, wore blue daura and yellow suruwal, and had a lapel of Nepali khukuri on his daura. His parents, who were behind him looked elated. The father shook hands with the director, introduced himself and his wife("Namastey" "Namakar" ...there's an unwritten rule in Nepal that says you should never shake hands of women you have not previously met) and asked him to give his son a chance. The director smiled, and said, "Lets see what happens. I assure you that I will be completely fair, though." The parents took seats at the front row, and the child climbed upto the stage.
The little boy introduced himself and said he had a idea for a tv show that was bound to be popular, and then said other things that he had obviously been taught by his father and pitched the idea for the show.
This is a touching story of a modern Nepali family who lives in Kathmandu. It has elements of humor and drama in it. It is going to be very popular with the new generation of Kathmandu's youth who have grown up watching Nepali channels like KTV. In the beginning of the story, there are the father and the mother. The mother is the head of the family, so she dominates her husband. (The parents climb up the stage before the director can say anything. He just wants to let them on with what they want to do and get done with. Thereon, whatever the kid says is actually happening on the stage)
One day, the unmarried wife gets pregnant and she is very worried because she does not want a child. So she goes to a doctor, who tells her she's not really pregnant and it was just gas really, after testing her for hours. But she's not convinced, and she goes to a lady doctor after a few weeks who tells her she's definitely getting a baby. The woman is concerned, so she goes back to the first doctor, feigning some headache, and grabs some of his hair. She gives his hair to a lab and the tests are conclusive: he's the father of her child. She blackmails him into marrying her, and since she is the daughter of a government minister who is known for her high-handedness with people she does like, that blackmail is more of a threat and the doctor marries her.
Soon the vomitings start. The woman is so disgusted at her husband that she vomits in his mouth (woman vomits in the guys mouth while the little kid is narrating). The guy gets really angry and proposes they have yet another encounter of a nature such that the results may or may not happen to be of reproductive nature,, and the woman consents to his proposal because she is bored, so they disclothe and go on with the activities of the already-mentioned nature. (The two guys do exactly what the little boy is saying.)
However, as the woman is dominant in the relationship, she proposes they conduct activities together that could possibly be illegal under Nepal's strict legal code, but she argues that since it will all be done in the privacy of their residence, no law-enforcement officials will ever be aware of such activities and even if they were somehow informed of such activities, they could never gather enough information to convict the two individuals involved.
He consents and they proceed with such activities (they proceed with such activities on the stage. by now, everyone in the room is too dumbstruck to do anything). And then suddenly, the child is born, because of all the extra contortions imposed upon a pregnant body that is is not designed to tolerate.( the boy goes near the appropriate anatomical region, and pretends to be a newborn) Both the parents are surprised, but since its their baby, they start caring.By now, the audition had almost 100 people in the audience, most of whom had their camera phones out and were filming the audition. Some dumb idiot had apparently invited the police too, and soon the audition was over.
And kids, that is the story of how Namrata Shrestha Scandal came to existence. The last part involving baby was censored for legal reasons, with the guy replacing the kid.
I almost forgot the punchline. Before they were carried away, the director asked, " Okay, you guys are definitely not getting a program. But tell me, what did you intend on calling it?"
And they answered in unison, with quite a flair of histrionics, "THE SOPHISTICATES"
TADAA!
True story.