I have been told I have nose hair, which is-- according to the Hilton Encyclopedia of Human Body-- the grossest thing you can have in a human body.
The first time I came across the concept of nose hair was in grade 9, when I read this humorous Nepali book called 'Mr Jhappu Singh Double M.A. kaa interview haru' where Jhappu-- an interviewer-- has more nasal hair than hair on the head, which at that time I found somewhat disgusting. And then I began noticing the elderly with graying hairs making their way out of the nose holes and then I had to accept the sad fact of our existence. And then I kept wishing death before the appearance of nasal hair because you cant shave them off, and you cant bleach them off, so the only option is trimming.
I was horrified to be told that I have nasal hair. A clarification here: everyone has a hairy nose(yes, even you, pretty keti) but nasal hairs are disciplined and know that hairs inside the nose are supposed to be inside, so they don't come jutting out as if they were on a paid vacation to Hawaii. It's a slightly different story for men of older age though, when bodily organs start malfunctioning, the bodily defense starts giving up, and bodily hairs start doing whatever they want to do. Like hairs popping out of noses.
And ears. It's true-- a lot of people have hairs coming out of their ears,-- even famous people like George Clooney and Brad Pitt, though their stylists make up for them, so you can't see their auditory and nasal hairs because of Photoshop and Videoshop.
Back to my nose-hair--I freaked out about it, and I pretended to have runny nose and blocked the public view of my noseholes. I secretly tried to pull out the offending strands using my nosecloth, but all I got was lots of other nasal material and a few particularly long strands of my mustache. One time, I did really get hold of strands of nasal hair but I much inside my nose, I could see my hanky from INSIDE my eyes, so I didn't attempt pulling the hairs out, fearing the possibility of accidental organ dislocation from my cranial cavity. Of course, there's nothing much of value in there-- a tiny-tiny brain, a poorly-functioning eyeball that needs repair, few scattered gray matter, and several assorted semi-useful organs in there-- but hey, they're my organs and I love them for whatever they are. Old, cranky, weak, and possibly on the verge of a breakdown.
So why did so many people think that I have gross gross hairs jutting out of my noseholes? Was it a particularly long and strong thread of booger that had gone undetected? Or perhaps, I had snakes growing inside my brain, and they finally grew up big enough to show their tails through the noseholes? Or maybe maybe my eyes are growing tendrils inside my head and turning into Octopi, so it was a beginning of something mysterious? Maybe it was an optical illusion? Mass hysteria? Aliens who landed on earth just to convince everyone that a certain guy
in a certain part of a certain planet has nose hairs, omg?
We may never find out the true answer. But this much, we know: the world around us is crazy, mysterious and full of surprises, and if we were to delve into the secret locker of nature where she hides her precious secrets, we would then know that we don't know very much, that Nessie is in fact a living form of shiva linga(the organ of Shiva bhagawan), that Ban Mancches have a secret agreement with the lamestream media so that their existence is not acknowledged, and in return the papers get a hefty sum in form of random advertisements(all those Bryan Adams ads you saw in the papers? All paid by the Ban Manchhes. Where else did you think all the money came from?), that wizzards are interested in getting hold of a terrible new power source that would make them the most powerful beings in the whole wide universe, but for that they'd need 3 billion fresh human brains, and the problem with the idea is they don't have a container big enough to contain so many human brains, and that the Sinai Peninsula is actually under the Dominion of the Glourious Empire of Nepal and It's Territories, but due to the 1951 treaty they were snatched away by the greedy foreign who have links with RAW, ISI, Mossad, CIA, MI6, MI5, Pronovdova and NID. They are also involved in a conspiracy to convince the masses that I have nose hairs, which is NOT at alll true.