Since the plan with Sthani and her guy is not working out as well as I hope it would (mainly because it was imaginary, but also because both of them are such big douches and don't care at all about their other friends during Valentine's day), I have changed my V-day plans.
I am getting hyped about it because of the obligatory 'what about the culture, young people don't know anything' pieces that you see in the Nepali papers. I enjoy those, just as much as I enjoy eating little infants dipped in chocolate and mayonnaise. Even more, now that I think about it... Them, and the sadeko momo they sell in Naya Baneshwar (sadeko, NOT saandeko). Best combination, ever.
Talking of rotten stuff, our country has a new PM, which I'm totally hyped about because now I can invite him to this event. You are a total Square if you don't want to go there, and you don't like having fun, and you are against the very idea of having fun. You should be there, or... something's bad will happen-- no one will ever care for you ever again. And then you will be made the PM, which might sound like a good idea, but it's not because you don't know your stuff as pretty much no prime minister until now has known his issues, except, of course Dr. Kunwar Indrajit Singh, who was a total badass PM in the 1950's but he's not a household name because he's got an Indian-sounding name, and OMG, INDIANS!!! RIGHT?
I mean, riight? Indians are bad people, and they will totally eat us up, so we should be very scared of them. Also, everything that has ever been wrong with Nepal is their fault. Aaand, they fry their infants eating them! Heretics! Don't they even know that there's no other way of eating children than boiling them? I am sure those bastards will never understand that.
Valentine's Day. I want to do something fun this year. I mean, yeah, sure there's that pillowfight thingie, but that's only for 10 minutes. And then there the thespianism I have to attend, but that's the daily deal, and I want to make this particular V-day different. My first plan was to get drunk on the Rum from Rum Raisin icecream at Baskin - Robbins, but you cant apparently get drunk-drunk on it. And then someone suggested I do shots till I drop, but I found several flaws with the idea so it didn't work out.
So now I am planning to EAT till I drop. Alone, because I like eating. And I think the very idea of eating alone till you drop is quite romantic. I am like those Russian writers of the yore, those fat bastards who were rich and wealthy but got all the fame from writing about poverty and sadness and war and illness and death. Or like that Henry the Xth(where x is a variable and NOT a roman numeral) who died of heart attack. I've read somewhere that most people get fat because they take up eating to get forget about their problems, and it sounds like a damn good idea to me. OM, NOM NOM!
Last year, at about this time, I was cooking up ideas for people to celebrate the V-day, for TKP. We came up with all kinds of interesting ideas, but apparently it's TKP's policy to not suggest that couples spend the night together, so we had to contort the ideas and morph them into borring stuff so as to not suggest that people 'enjoy' valentine's day. And my ideas didn't make it to the final list because it apparently sounded too err.. progressive (melt some dark chocolate, smear it all over your partner, and lick--what's wrong with that?)
Which is my official recommendation for Valentine's Day 2011. Do that.
Happy Valentine's Day to you all.