Work at De Matka, I get tea and chauchau, things slow down a bit [Tue 28]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening?

I went to De Matka, had tea and chauchau sadheko there. At this point my college stuff was already screwed, so it was mostly work work, and chill things that I was doing.

As I mentioned in the earlier post, things had started slowing down for a bit. Things will speed up again, in April when all the international cousins show up and there's weddings and parties and hangouts, but I imagine March might be on the slower side, beside the incessant restaurant-going with the family.

And this is the end of my February posting. There's only two more months worth of journal posts that remain, and I will be 'clean'. I will have to remind myself of this pain and struggle, to get things done without wanting to, when I consider skipping posting for a day or two.

Bhat-dal-tarkari boiled eggs for lunch, mamaghar trip and sandwiches, my adventures start slowing down [Mon 27]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening? 

Had bhat-dal-tarkari and boiled eggs for lunch. Went to mamaghar, where I had sandwiches in the afternoon. Not much happens. This might have been the time when I got tired, used to the chill life, and decided you know what I'm going to give up on everything and just live with my parents, not work anymore. My decision turned around in a matter of weeks, in case anybody was concerned.

NIC trip, I get motivated, heavy rains, Momo mantra hang with AU, Noodle bar Burmese with AU, PU picks me up, Blue Note Cafe with PU's friends, interesting dynamics [Sun 26]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening?

Went to NIC, unusual for a Sunday but that's what happened, I wanted to engage an architect and an interior designer to change the whole outlook of the place, not realizing there wasn't a lot of institutional interest in doing so. Anyway, I was motivated, yeah.

It rained heavily, I was at momo mantra and got rained in, ate momo it was alright. AU came to hang with me, then we went to noodle bar the Burmese place once again. As always, it was alright.

It was still raining when PU texted me to ask if I wanted to hang, my answer was an obvious yes. So I ran in the rain to Apex college where she picked me up, and we drove to Sanepa Blue Note Cafe. We met a bunch of her friends, her friend's 'bar friends', and the bar people.

It was alright. I don't understand those people and wouldn't have gotten along with them. And neither seemed PU, generally speaking. The vibe was off, these people seemed a bit untethered, unbothered by reality, and seemed to be living a dazed uncaring reality that wasn't affected by anything on the ground.

Later found out the whole story about PU's friend. Oooof. Some people, maan. They've got rough lives. That's all I can say.

Daylong exploration of PhotoKTM with J, local place momo yum yum, local chip shop impresses, massive Dhokaima tiramisu, evening family celebration at Alice Restaurant so cold [Sat 25]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening? 

Walked to Patan, and thus began our (JB and mine) daylong exploration of Patan by way of various PhotoKTM exhibits spread through the ancient city. The first one about tharus and rice had a really engaging volunteer and I offered her an internship at NIC because we were needing people there.

JB kept seeing people he knew from way back, or casual acquaintances. I too encountered a couple of people I had known from back in the day, but not anybody current. What a miss.

We went to the chips shop in that chowk that sells all these flavored chips and got ourselves a big mix.

Towards the end we were really really tired, and got momo at the local place across the street from Yala Dhoka. Ate so much, it was so good.

Then we went to Dhokaima for more shows, and then tiramisu there. Their tiramisu is expensive, but it's by far, far the biggest one I ever encountered.

In the end we were both very very tired and I took tempo home, changed etcetera.

At night we went to Alice Restaurant for dinner, to celebrate my dad's early birthday. Unfortunately the restaurant was super packed and the only available space was on the rooftop with no heating. Still we bought in, and in the end everything was fine.

The food there was excellent. But that's to be expected of Alice foods in Kathmandu. My favourite wedding catering.

At Budhanilkantha School, meeting teachers, eating meals, chilling at expensive restaurant, Sajha bus to Patan, hanging at Patan, start of new event with J, so many acquaintances and old friends met at photoKTM, latenight newari food! [Fri 24]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening?

This was one HELL of a busy day, in retrospect I can't believe how busy I must have been, running around from one place to other all day long, and that too in Kathmandu traffic!

In the morning went to BudhanilKantha school, to Saraswati temple, old houses, Pestalozzi and the rest. Hit up LNS, the teacher I'd been in touch with since my NIC trip from a month ago. He showed me around the whole place, including their innovation center room, and took me for khaja in the dining room. There I met so many of the old-timer teachers, ugh so many memories rushing in. Spent a long time talking to everybody I knew, all the teachers in the staff room. The staff room is just okay as a concept, not a big fan, I'm not.

After making plans for further consideration, I headed to the nearby cafe cum thakali restaurant and got some lemon soda or something. So goddamn pricey, yikes! And such a fancy cafe! Clearly the neighborhood had a very big change in character since I was there many years ago because then it was just to small pasals and restaurants. Now it's all fancy cafes and pricey restaurants. What wild times!

Got non the Sajha bus to Patan, this was one of the longer local public bus trips within kathmandu I have taken, and was an adventure. One of the most convenient routes if there was ever one, not bad at all.

I walked from Pulchowk where I got off to Patan Square and spent half-hour chilling and waiting for JB. Went into the museum area, where the PhotoKTM event was about to start and looked around to see if I knew anybody. Soon JB came in, and together we met and recognized dozens and dozens of people, from people of the old Vent magazine to old editors and bosses to IG who was one of the hosts from back in the school to bunch of random friends-of-friends who I had never interacted with but knew quite well!

The event itself was fun, and towards the end we went to this fancy restaurant where I charged my laptop and we got appetizers. And maybe a cold drink or two.

Then we went to honacha, which was about to close (this was 3g honacha) and we ordered basically everything that was left. The owners were confused at the sudden inflow of traffic so late in the night, I was quite surprised they were still open myself. Regardless, I had latenight newari food at Honacha while using my laptop to do work work live so late in the evening. Quite an experience. It took me some time to find a pathao to get home, but then it worked out well.

Bhat-dal-tarkari lunch, at NIC, I see an angel and see them fly away, anda and chiura ko pulaao for dinner [Thu 23]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening? 

Had bhat-dal-tarkari as usual.

Went to NIC, hosted a group of TU MBA students. There was one who was so very cute, an angel if there ever was. Kept hoping she'd strike up a conversation, but that never happened and yet another potential lead, a possible change in life circumstances up in the air. Just like that. As if nothing had happened. Alas.

We had anda and chiura ko pulaao for dinner.

Ready for morning wedding, daylong celebrations with so so so much food and family for cousin wedding at Hotel Akama [Wed 22]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening

Got dressed up in the morning, and went to hotel Akama. This was the wedding party (or one of the occasions) for the same series of events we had gone to Godavari for couple of days ago.

I ate a lot, of very high-quality food. So much momo and other things. Good good stuff. All my extended as well as close family was there.

Because dad was going to be staying late, I ordered us a cab, dropped couple of our relatives, and got home by 5.

This would be one of the last of major wedding celebrations I'd attend, any new ones would be rare and far in between.

Morning cutting Chiya hang with AU, cleaning soil and planting seeds on the roof, chauchau sadheko and teas at De Matka work, Chiura ko pulau for dinner [Tue 21]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening?

Got black tea in the morning with AU at Cutting Chiya.

Before bhat-dal I cleaned up upstairs pots and got them ready for pumpkin and tomato seeds.

In the afternoon I went to De Matka to work, read and generally chill. Got chauchau sadheko there plus many cups of tea obviously.

Had chiura ko pulau for dinner.

It's tough to make time to write

 Everytime I sit down to write, I'm asked why this time isn't being spent with family, or why I'm just stuck on the screen or why that or this or so on. And truth be told they're all reasonable questions, this time is for family I could be writing in my own time when I'm in Seattle but that's not...how...habits work, or writing, and so writing has to be a rebellious activity, almost an undermining of the authority. Just to find some free undisturbed time go get something written, that's hard. Not being disturbed is the hardest, I've been interrupted four times as I've been writing the last four posts, and that's a part of the whole deal but it kinda' makes sense why there are no good or prolific writers to come our of this place: because nobody lets them, there's no goddamn expectation of privacy. Which is fine, whatever, but man, writing and literature are important too, no?

Addendum: I tried to publish this post a couple of times and failed. Turns out the maid disconnected the internet router, then reconnected it, then disconnected it again, so there was a whole lot of dance to figure out what's happening. And that's how it works here folks!

I have never attended this many weddings, ever

I was never in Kathmandu during the wedding season because of logistical reasons, and the length of time I did happen to be here was not enough to really get a good sampling of the wedding season. This time around my trip coincided with the smack middle of the marriages and party time, and I'm oh so glad -- and also not as much for a different reason -- because I'll have attended at least a dozen-and-half different parties by the time I'm done with my trip. Yes, I don't know many people in the weddings, yes the girls I see are often my cousins in one form or other so the primary motivation is rather...constrained...and yes, the constant nagging by literally everybody involved to get married has begun getting under my skin. But man, the people, the sights and the sounds the food and general vibe is chill, you really gotta start attending a lot of those weddings if you truly want to understand a place, or be reacquainted with it. I've been getting to know Kathmandu better through these weddings and it's been one hella time. Good times. Goooood timesss.

Obvious realization: writing grounds me

This is a realization so clearly obvious that it feels a bit funny even writing this down, but it's been a month and a half almost, that I came to Nepal and I haven't written anything here or anywhere else, and I have this unexplained sense of anxiety. Perhaps they're unrelated, but I get a good sense that they are indeed kinda related, and it's time I clearly and explicitly acknowledged that writing daily has become an integral part of my long-term routine, and it's hard to go without writing. I can, and have, gone for weeks and months without writing, but it doesn't feel the same, my being rejects not writing in front of a computer and instead spending the time on Reddit to get over the malaise.

The conclusion of this is as follows: the experiment that began exactly five years ago, when I first went to the 'write a thousand words in an hour' meetup has succeeded and I am now a habitual writer. Not a good writer, mind you, not a focused or particularly driven one either. Or a prolific one. Neither am I an industry-specific writer. Just a habitual one who must, and absolutely must write or else...

In any case, I have succeeded in one of my goals: to just write, have the urgent undying need to write without which I don't feel right. It's got it's downsides: like how I can't take days off without feeling guilty etcetera, but hurray, it's exciting.

Now on to other goals to add on top of it. Maybe write proposals too? Or novels in a more disciplined way? What's next for me!? I'm excited to explore.

So much goddamn dust everywhere, dust and noise

 I'll be writing extensively on this topic in the coming days, no surprise there, but I want to start of by talking about how there's so much dust and grime everywhere all the time in Kathmandu, the air is thick as a soup honestly, and then the goddamn noise, it won't let you alone everywhere, there's cars and bikes and horns and shouts on the streets, there's school children shouting and playing basketball and causing ruckus all day long at home, and so on and on and on. No wonder the life expectancy is so low here, people don't ever get to actually, you know, live in peace, there's always a din, always something to bother the mind and soul. You can never be just by yourself, even when you're alone because the whole goddamn city and the country will intrude upon your thoughts and your being even in the quiet privacy of your own goddamn room and there's not a single thing you can do about it.

New medicine in my toolchest of medicines: Metronidazole

I've gotten diarrhea twice since getting to Nepal (in slightly more than a month) and in both those occasions, a single dose of Metronidazole has cleaned the pains like it was nothing. Literally I'm shitting my brains out for hours in the loo, then I take a tablet and it's gone in fifteen minutes like magic. So glad I learned of it. So now I got anti-allergens (which I was taking twice daily, the generic allegra actually, all of them anti-histamines), anti fungals, anti-headaches, and now anti-diarrheal medication to carry with me everywhere.

That broken computer

My personal chromebook lost its screen pretty much completely a few short weeks into my stay in Nepal, which meant the only working machine was my work laptop. And that meant no more posting on this blog anymore because nuh uh I don't want to commingle fun and work. Now that I've got access to the home computer, the 16 incher of the behemoth laptop, I'll be writing here again. Hopefully to complete all of february's post, and eventually january's and not feel guilty anymore and live like a happy goddam fool of a person.

Perhaps the background dread that I mentioned in the earlier post was all about me not writing on this blog? It's certainly plausible!

That background dread

 I don't know if it was my lifestyle, or the weather, or that lavender oil extract I was taking once or twice daily, but the weeks and months preceding my journey to the East Coast and then to Nepal had been the most peaceful and relaxing and zen I'd ever gotten. I was bragging to my friend P about how well I was doing and how life could be all so easy and wonderful and man how I was an enlightened being sometimes when I was in Seattle.

Being in Kathmandu has brought me the same background dread and fear that's inexorable that I've always had. KTM is relaxing and I could imagine myself staying here for extended periods, for sure, and this is a new thing. And it wouldn't be as bad as I've dreaded for long if I was wealthy enough. Just gotta ignore looking at the wrong parts. But this sense of dread and anxiety, doesn't feel like it'll go away as long as I am here. Always feels like I'm missing out on something, that this is not it, that ugh, I don't know, there's something missing.

It might not be Nepal, maybe it's just Kathmandu, my goal is to figure that out next. But I'm not enjoying this feeling, like at all. I gotta do better, find myself in more peace.

Anywho, once I get my silexan tablets again, perhaps I'll be singing to a different tune?

There's hope.

It's easy to lose it

 I'm not complaining or anything, it's just an observation on life that's helped me understand some decisions that I thought were incomprehensible, in the last several weeks. No matter how high your self worth is, how self-confident and high-reaching you are, how strong your willpower maybe, if everybody keeps telling you all the time constantly implicitly or explicitly, that you're a piece of shit, or that you're worthless, or that you know, you're a loser etcetera, it's hard to not buy in, because either you're wrong or the rest of the universe is, and better be wrong and correct yourself than be an insane person in a sane universe? Gosh this is awful, and I don't blame particularly anybody for it, and nobody's told me any of the above things exactly or even nearly, but man some things get into your bones and are so very hard to get out of. I understand now why some people...or many people...make some stupendously confusing and baffling decisions. Because they can't see the world beyond the world they're shown, and they ignore their own lying eyes and ears and instead replace their reality with the fabricated one of their co-conspirators.

Reality is constructed, and it's important to ground yourself in the same reality as the rest of the universe.

Who knows if I'll cover up for the past posts, or post going onward, sometimes it is so...tiring and it's not worth having your own independent self, no? Like, what's the point even, just give in. So much less work, and surrender yourself to the strange new realities of your experience, and live that life you never wanted. Fuckit?

Fried rice lunch, at NIC, work at De Matka, AU hang there, Burmese food with AU [Mon 20]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening?

Had fried rice for lunch.

Went to NIC for work as usual.

Got back straight to De Matka, worked on my school stuff and proposals there, waiting for AU, who came over in a while. Got teas there, and went to Burmese food restaurant that she'd always wanted to go but which was mostly almost always closed. It was open for a change, and we got noodles and...other things. don't remember what. It was pretty decent, wouldn't say life-changing or anything.

At SuryaBinayak, buying donuts and chips, Ghyampedada walk, pilot baba center, disappointing end of a wonderful walk, bad trails, the most amazing lunch outing ever, Village highland resort, awful photo, Kantunje jujudhau, party at our place [Sun 19]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening?

Took pathao to Suryabinayak in the morning, all ready for a daylong hike.

Met JD who had just shown up with her dad, and after a short 20 minutes of confusion where JB had been dropped at the wrong stop, we started our walk up Suryabinayak. We bought donuts and chips at a shop on the way.

We walked by the army barrack, taking round and round and round. We saw that the forest had been cut into two, with deep-trench road, and the beauty of nature was destroyed to elevate the land value of the region beyond. We walked and walked and walked, and we got to pilot baba center, where we rested for a while, I saw people there selling nigar and chhyang in bottles. We ate and drank juice and kept going. We reached ghapmedada, and we saw the massive ghyampo there which we took photos with, and we kept going on and on and on. Then we reached this crazy scary scenic view, where the overhang was barely stable and I got super scared but JB and JD had an amazing time there. The walk after there got boring and annoying but we got really really close. The trail had been actually pretty good all things considered until then, but then it was the shepherd-path, which is awful if you want to hike because it's barely better than scrambles. I didn't have a good time this part of the journey.

We reached Ranikot height. It was shit. Dirt everywhere, trash everywhere, people being disrespectful everywhere. I was incensed. Really really mad. People didn't respect nature and their own surroundings. I was unhappy.

We came down of it in 45 minutes, to the other side, and got into Village Highland resort, where we ordered a thali. I did, anyway, don't remember what the other two got. It was a warm winter noon time, I was eating rice and ghiu and dal and yummy vegetables with two of my closest friends, can one really have a much better time than that? The experience was fantastic.

JB took couple of photos of me there. It is then I discovered that actually I'm quite ugly and sure it's angles sometimes but goodlooking people don't look that bad, ever! Also met couple of people from the mafia.

We walked a painful walk down to Suryabinayak temple, and eventually to Katunje main bajar. I hoped to take public transport, but none was available until the main town.

We got jujudhau at one of the places at the chowk, and JB and I got on the bus back home. We saw two different couples making out at the back of the bus, it was...wild. Quite something hahah. Wht's happening these days people!

The mamaghar people had come to our house and there was a tiny party there, got to have a good time with near and dear ones in the evening!

Bhat-dal-tarkari lunch, poetry discovery and laptop work at De Matka, afternoon to evening garden party in Lalitpur, the most wonderful party in Nepal I've been to, international DJ, latenight home [Sat 18]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening? 

Had bhat dal tarkari for lunch.

Went to de matka, standard chau chau and momo and tea probably. More discovery of Indian journals and wonderful poetry and analysis of said poetry. Vilahana, Ram Ravana, you know the rest of you get the gist.

PU had invited me to a garden party, so I headed out to Lalitpur in the afternoon. Finding the house was hard because there was no balloon that should have been at the gate, it had been popped. I think I caught PU on the way and we went together, but I can't remember the exact details anymore.

There was so so so much food, it was incredible. The house was amazing, the furnishings incredible, the yard unbelievable, the rent ridiculously cheap. It had been organized by a bunch of young-ish social workers and ngo' workers, bunch of Americans and Germans and South africans and French mostly girls but some guys. PU's brother was in the same rock climbing group as them.

And then I had the seven or eight best hours of Nepali party life ever. If this were to happen even twice or three times a year, I'd move to Nepal, just for this, that's how awesome it was. Made new friends, met new people, got to understand new personalities.

I was supposed to get home with PU but she got really really drunk and had to crash there, so after midnight I took pathao home.

I had the grandest time there, this was one of the biggest highlights of my Nepal stay, besides all the important family events and meeting family etc.

There was even an international DJ! We made fun of the 'international DJ' part, but actually he was quite good. Like surprisingly good. Gosh I miss this.

Garden party, the best party.

Bhat-dal-tarkari lunch, daylong wedding party at Godavari, home back late at night [Fri 17]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening? 

Standard bhat-dal-tarkari lunch.

Got ready and around 1, 1.30 we drove to Godavari, so early that my cousin's parents, who were there as hosts (parents of the bride) had just gotten there. The next six or seven hours was a whole experience of being around my near joint and extended family, and listening to conversations.

It was very very very cold in the evening, and we wanted to go in but something happened, don't know what. Dinner was pretty good.

We were also one of the last groups to leave, and took along one of the parties from the party. Dropped him at my uncle's place in Baneshwar and drove home. Must have been...like late, but don't remember how late exactly. Not sure how I managed my work, must have used some tricks or techniques or some such, or possibly taken the day off.

Kachauri and samosa-tarkari at new deserts place second floor, I walk to Patan, meeting KP at Lalteen restaurant and Honacha, lethargic on newari thwon, family celebration at Miraj restaurant [Thu 16]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening? 

In the morning we (AU and I, in the mornings, of course) went to the new desserts place and had kachauri and samosa tarkari. We were on the second floor of the place, something we'd never done before. So much privacy hahah!

In the afternoon I walked to Patan, met KP at Lalteen restaurant, then went to Honacha, and a couple more places. We made plans. We had lots of newari thwon. She had a lot of things happening in her plate. I was happy for her.

It was somebody's anniversary or wedding at home, so from there I walked to Sankhamul and took the tempo to Miraj restaurant in Battisputali. Mama from Texas was there too, along with the Singaporeans.

The food was alright, but the drinks were awful, there were bugs, and in generally everybody hated this experience.

Also I was working from the dinner table, so no I didn't have to get home by 7PM.

Chiura ko pulaau for lunch, business meeting at King's college, ready for wedding party with parents, at Alice weddings for the party of Aussie friend now to be in USA, Jwain friend [Wed 15]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening?

Had chiura ko pulau for lunch with peanuts! Ahha! Something new after all!

Had a business meeting at King's college on behalf of NIC. Didn't go as planned as all, but whatever, they didn't know what they had or wanted either.

Got home early, showered and got all ready for the wedding party.

We went to Alice Catering in...that place, near the police headquarters for my friend S's wedding, the same one I went to the mehendi/sangeet for a couple of days ago. Fun times, ate a lot, met lots of family. Didn't know too many young people though, so kinda weird and lame. Jwain (not her husband, but her first cousin's, who had also recently gotten married) came over to say high, he didn't know anybody either, so we hung out for a while before leaving for home early because of the work situation. There was some talk of her cousin's match being inter-class and people were impressed.

Bhat-dal-tarkari maseura, at Calm restro and Bar in Hadigaun, super expensive drinks, working on culinary proposal, hanging with YKD after long, bhatbhateni biryani with YKD, meeting GG, crashing at AK's, dinner at Grill and Bakes, evening party at Mamaghar [Tue 14]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening? 

Had bhat-dal-tarkari and maseura ko jhhol for lunch.

Went to Calm restro and bar in Hadigaun, walked all the way there I think, and chilled by myself, working on my proposal to make Nepal a global culinary destination. So many young and very well of kids just...chilling, working, making out etc. One cup of tea was 450 there sooo yeah. So goddamn pricey.

After a bit YKD came over, we went out in the sun and chilled, and talked about our plans, what to do next, her wedding and yadda yadda yadda. After paying off at the pricey place, we went to the biryani place right across the street from Bhatbhateni and had one large kadai of biryani. So so so good. Yum yum. And also dum roti.

Soon after, GG let me know AKS was in town, he'd just landed, so instead of going elsewhere I crossed the street and waited for him to pick me up. Got into his car, and went to AKS's place, where he had just arrived, and was napping, while not shutting his front door, we just entered! Hung out with him and chatted a bunch. In a while his parents came too, and we hung out with them a bunch as well. Joked about weddings mostly.

Then we went to Grill and Bakes, a restaurant nearby where I just got a soda, and kept talking. Because I had work in the evening, I had to bail out early, so GG very kindly drove me home...near my mamaghar where there was yet another evening party with the Singaporeans! This was also the time of his offer of investment in hydropower. And where I said, "im okay getting long term without actually seeing somebody's photo, even". This is important because that might have been the first time I actually put that in so many words.

NIC, exploring chovar danda with NIC brother, dropped at Kirtipur gate, walking about Kirtipur town, settled at Newa Lahana, rich newari meal and thwon, meow meow cat, tired and lazy, pathao home, hangout at mamaghar [Mon 13]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening?

I went to NIC early in the morning, chilled around and talked to people. With brother A I bailed out after lunch, we went to this tea place by the mountain in Chovar and talked about his grad school plans, his brother who also happened to be my junior in school, and how to approach studies in general. I got him to drop me at Kirtipur gate.

I then walked around the core Kirtipur down, the old part and the new part, and saw what the big deal was all about. Here's my opinion: if only they spent and invested not that much money, this town would become a much much bigger deal that it is right now. Which, at the moment, is just another square, another locality of the giant all-encompassing monster that is Kathmandu city.

Ended up at Newa Lahana where I got the vegetable samay-baji set. Yum. Yum. Yum. Also got one or two different kinds of thwon. There was a cute little cat that was eagerly waiting for me to finish so he could eat my leftovers.

Perhaps it was the eat, or the booze, or the food but I felt so tired all of a sudden. I visited couple of local temples, saw that the movement to increase awareness of the ranjana script, one newari is written in, was getting bigger, and wanted to do it myself. Climbed down a whole goddamn series of stairs and walked toward town because pathao wouldn't come where I was at. Finally found a location where they serviced, and got a pathao to home.

And then went to mamaghar where my parents were with my grandparents and Singapore gang and mama-maiju. Had yummy dinner there, as usual.

Hangout at Shilpi cafe with AU, chiya chauchau, new mithai pasal, potato chop, veg momo and sweets for lunch, Dockyard evening hang with PU driven, tricked into moviewatching, Pathaan with parents, dinner at a very green place [Sun 12]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening?

In the morning I hungout with AU at Shilpi cafe, I liked it because it was my cool new discovery. She didn't like the place so much because she found out an old acquaintance from back home who she didn't want to interact with worked there as an actor or something, and would rather avoid the whole situation. We got chiya and chau chau there.

From there we wanted to explore a new mithai pasal, so instead of walking all the way to purano baneshwar and turning left, we found a shop on the right and went there for lots of mithai. Kinda' like where just baked used to be back in the day. There we got potato chop, veg momo, and four different mithaais. Yes, I was eating lotssss of sweets and snacks and unhealthy things in Nepal, while doing very limited physical activity. Should have known better, should have known better but I told myself it was a vacation!

In the evening PU came to pick me up, or did I go to the place, forget the exact details, and we hung out at Dockyard restaurant, as was usual for us. We discussed politics, her involvement in it, her future plans, her reading whatever philosopher she was reading, and just chit-chat. Wish she were better at keeping touch with people online because I have a good time generally when hanging out with her!

Dad called and said he'd bought tickets for me for Pathan at a nearby theater, despite actually not having done so. I was forced and tricked into watching Pathaan the movie. We got so much popcorn, yummy cheese buttery popcorn. The food was the best part of the movie. I will write a review of the movie if I haven't already.

Then we went to the garden restaurant that's opposite of ratna rajya, on the second floor. Loud music, lots of hookah and the entire goddamn place covered in fake turf trying to make it look like it's all a rainforest. It was amusing but we had decent food there. It was quite pricey for the sort of place it was, but hey this was mid-Baneshwar, and Kathmandu is pricey, so whatever. Not awful.

Bhat-dal-tarkari lunch, fruit salad, walk to Thamel with Boston brother, wood fired pizza for first time as I wait at Monster chicken, ice-cream, art gallery explored, public transport home [Sat 11]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening? 

For lunch I had bhat dal tarkari, maybe I should stop writing this because there's nothing new that ever happens in my life in Nepal lunch-wise. Had fruit salad soon after lunch for some reason. NOw that's something of note!

Walked all the way to Thamel, to meet and hang out with J dai, whom I knew form Boston and who was one of my few friends that I met up during this time. He was running late, so I went into this place called Monster Chicken, that sold spicy chicken items. Hoping something on the menu would be vegetarian. Nope, not at all. So I ate ice-cream, knowing fully that it would mess my stomach up later.

Soon J came in, and we ambled about, then went into the art gallery in KGH. Not the Museum of Nepali Art (MONA) but the other smaller one that had free entrance. It was chill, and there's an expensive tattoo place that charges by the hour on the roof. So many expensive paintings. This was also the location of the best toilet in Nepal, that I've written on before in this blog. If not I'll write about it, or repeat it whatever.

We got wood fired pizza at a place across the street. Somebody on Google said it was the second best Pizza in South Asia and we absolutely had to try it! It is one of the best pizza I have had in Nepal for sure.

Both of us walked to appropriate location and took public transport home.

The cosmic game

This is a part of 'project 110, going back and re-filling', writing is happening 8ish months after the date.

Thus the game (of dice) may be a module of certainty in harmony with a cosmos of total knowledge. This is the ritual model of the dice game, in which the rules are fixed and predictable, if only in that they exclude loss for the superior being. Or, the game may be a module of uncertainty that opens the cosmos toward new shapings. This is the cosmic, mythic, and epic model of the dice game, in which the rules of the game are pliable and are themselves in the process of being shaped by the playing of the players, who are, in turn, in the process of being shaped by the rules. Given these modular characteristics, the dice game, like other such contests, is once again a strange loop that plays with relationships between whole and part, between internalization and externalization. This loop may appear at virtually every level of the cosmic order, and it can be designed to accelerate connectivity or disconnectivity.

- God Inside Out, Shiva's Game of Dice (Handelman et al.) page 74

Long call on the phone with AR(y), fried-rice dal, tarkari lunch, work at De Matka, exploring Gothale theater, chiya and chauchau sadheko, meeting old acquaintnce at podcast launch in there [Fri 10]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening?

In the morning had a very long call with AR(y), from Seattle and gave her great life advice.

For lunch I had fried rice and tal plus tarkari.

Went to De Matka to do my school work and proper work work, spent couple of hours there.

Too bored at De Matka, went to Gothale theater and Shilpi cafe, ordered chiya and chau chau sadheko. This was when they were still just opening so their prices were very very cheap. Couple of weeks later they pretty much tripled their prices. Important to note now because it won't be noted when their prices go up all of a sudden because there's no clear photo marker for that.

There was a lot of hustle and bustle downstairs. As I was heading out I discovered YB, an old acquaintance from Kathmandu with home I shared some friends was chilling with friends. Apparently there was a live show, or book release, or some event of sorts for Boju Bajai a podcast. I saw the hosts chatting nearby, and moved on with my life, without acknowledging them or anything.

Bhat-dal-tarkari, jackfruit for tarkari, momo and work at De Matka, discovering new poets etc [Thu 9]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening?

For lunch had bhat dal some tarkari and jackfruit ko ledo.

Went to De Matka to do work, and my class work. Had veggie kothey momo, tea etcetera.

Started reading journal on South Indian poetry and Vilahana and how he wrote poetry that undermined the very message it was pretending to give. Something about Ram and Rama and what not. I have it in my photo collection, cool stuff need to get back to that once the journal-writing stuff is done, for sue.

Breakfast sandwiches at Cutting chiya, desserts at mithai pasal, bhat-dal-tarkari eggs for lunch, at Bajeko Sekuwa for an old friend's sangeet, so much food, dance-watching, photo with friend and her husband [Wed 8]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening? 

Went to Cutting Chiya with AU, got breakfast sandwiches for the first time along with tea because i wanted to spend more money than was usual. Since we were more or less the regular customers there. Went to mithai pasal later and shared a couple of mithais between the two of us.

Had bhat dal tarkari and eggs for lunch.

In the afternoon went to Bajeko Sekuwa for a friend's wedding. S was my friend from drama and this was her sangeet/mehendi. We ate a lot lot, so many desserts, I started with the desserts actually. Family-organized event, not many people I knew of, nobody of my age group at all. Still had a good time, and no reason for parents to worry about me not having fun.

Took a photo with S and her husband. They'd be moving to Atlanta from Australia where they'd met, and originally gone for masters almost a decade ago. I'm giving the extra detail as a reminder for my future self.

Jaulo for upset stomach, metadinazole to fix tummy issues, recovery from illness [Tue 7]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening?

My tummy went bad, real bad. Really really bad. From the khaja the day before. Sulfuric burps, bad smelling farts, lots of pooping. Suffered for a day or two.

I stayed home all day long, recovering from the terrible illness.

This might have been the time I discovered Metadinazole, sbk might have told me it, and how it magically took care of my diarrhea.

Gosh what an awful feeling it is when you first get your rough diarrhea and you know you're in for a bad bad time.

Morning hang with AU at Cutting tea, bhat-dal-tarkari anda for lunch, at NIC, SBK comes too, we get local lunch, I get my first very bad diarrhoea, Sbk drops me, public transport, roti-tarkari dinner [Mon 6]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening?

In the morning I went to Cutting tea where I hung out with AU. The regular gossip chill hang, you know nothing extraordinary.

For lunch I had bhat-dal-two kinds of tarkari and eggs too, mom really goes above and beyond in making lunches when I'm home.

Went to NIC in Pathao. Talked to people, did the usual things.

Friend SBK came over, I showed him around, helped him co-ordinate with people there. We then went to a very...um..local...shop...not a canteen, just a local restaurant, to get khaja. I got a juice and chaumin and anda. My thought was, because chaumin is going to be boiled, there's nothing bad that can come off it. How very wrong I was.

Sbk drove me to the chowk near KCM, satdobato chowk and man it was at this point I realized what a hellish nightmare it must be for anybody living near the Ring Road. I had to walk by the sidewalk for 20 minutes, and it's possible these were the worst 30 minutes of my time in Nepal, all four months. Bad experience, bad community vibe, nothing feels so good. I'm scared to go to that area because so it's so devoid of life, of culture and people.

Took the public transport to Naya Baneshwar and walked home, possibly.

I was shook, I was really shook people I'm tellin' ya!

Had roti-tarkari for dinner in the evening.

Chill and read at Bouddha, overeating at the Tharu restaurant Barghar, sandy ghonghi, so many items, too many items, home early [Sun 5]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening

On this day I went to Boudda. In retrospect it feels like it couldn't have been so early in my Nepal trip, but it was almost of month after my original arrival. Bit of a bummer I didn't go again but oh well, there was a lot of stuff happening and also there was a point when I kinda' gave up on leaving the house. Bit on that later.

Thought of taking pathao to Bouddha. Discovered I could take a tempo there instead. Which I did, from in front of Apex college. Had loud college students in dress sitting across me having lots of fun with each other guh. Took rounds of the great Stupa and went into a nearby cafe third floor to people watch. Spent the next three to four hours reading and watching people and chilling and relaxing, yeah what a wonderful mix of different kinds of people from all over the world. The most curious experience.

From there I walked for 10 minutes to Barghar restaurant, a tharu cuisine establishment. I wish I could name the items, I probably could but that'd be a list of ten of the most wonderful tasty, crispy, spicy items I don't want to remind myself because I'll start missing it all.

The ghonghi, which I was there to evaluate and see if I wanted to work as a market promoter for, was far too sandy, not well curried and a general disappointment. It was quite a bummer and it was at this point that my interest towards the 'promote the seafood of Nepal' idea started seeing a lack of interest. It would be worth further exploration but it's clear Nepali traditional cuisine is still...traditional, and based on people's household habits and not designed for mass cultural adoption.

Regardless, the experience was very rewarding and I would go there to eat everyday if I could.

Got back home on pathao from there, back at a pretty reasonable time.

Bhat dal kauli sag for lunch, at Maligaun, bread and eggs for khaja, walk to Baneshwar, Chiya and chill with AU at De Matka, home at 6 [Sat 4]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening? 

Lunch was bhat dal kauli and sag, among other things.

In the afternoon we went to Maligaun and met grandparents, cousins and aunts and uncles. Had bread and eggs for khaja there.

From there I headed towards Baneshwar on foot because at this point in my stay in Kathmandu I had not yet been turned into a disappointed cynical husk of a man and figured the town was still quite walkable, not yet understanding that it's common knowledge there that walking and public transport is for the poors, something that literally everybody besides myself had a good handle on.

Walked to Baneshwar through way of Galaxy school, saw a place with really really really cheap stick food, put that on snapchat, got to De Matka, had AU come over and we chilled for a bit over tea and snacks.

Got home at six.

Bread and cheese breakfast, a veritable mix of bhat and veggies for lunch, at fancy looking but smoky disappointing Composite restaurant, walk to DilliBazar, sports jacket fitting at tailor, home at 4 [Fri 3]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening?

For breakfast I had bread and cheese, possibly I was too hungry to be sane and got whatever I could grab in the fridge.

Lunch was exquisite as usual, so many items of vegetables and curries, yum yum always overwhelming to compare myself to that.

After lunch I went around in my regular exploration of the town, and found myself in this place called Composite restaurant. Here's the thing. It was a cheap khajaghar where money-conscious students went for smoke and tea and some khaja. It was misleading because it was very well furnished, nice sofa and chairs etcetera, and I assumed it would be a nicer kind of place. I ordered momo and something else, and it took forever, two forevers for the order to complete, so much so that I was ready to give up on the order but it eventually came and things worked out. Hurrah.

Went on my regular walk, towards Dillibajar. On my way back stopped by Shrestha tailoring to confirm my measurements. A couple of days previously I'd gone to give my original measurements, and they wanted to make sure the jackets fit me well. It was quick.

Walked back home because there was not much to be done, home by 4 in the evening.

At mamaghar, at Cutting Chiya in the morning with AU, Puri tarkari and so much sweets in the morning, bhat dal at home, fun friendly date at Coco waffle bansbari, left in Ason, at De Matka, home at 6.30 [Thu 2]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening? 

Even though the title says i was at mamaghar, I was not, I was at home, and google maps has got itself confused among the locations I spent at Kathmandu. I have left the wrong information intact because this is the documentation of the map errors the app has tended to make.

Went to Cutting Chiya with AU in the morning, got lemon tea and ambled about. Then as usual went to the mithai pasal for a couple of rounds of morning desserts. Readers of the blog will not be surprised to find out I was three pounds heavier after my Nepal trip.

Came home to eat bhat dal, rested for a bit, and off I went again! This time to Bansbari, Coco Waffle to meet AS(m) who I'd been teasing and flirting with for a couple of weeks on text. The hang was tiring because we talked so much and much was gained also she was leaving the country in two weeks and super stressed out about visa so there was not much to look forward to. Still I had a really really good time. I'm very glad to have known her better after all this time.

We shared a cab to thamel, got off there, and took the public transport home. Got tea and relaxed at De Matka, and was home by 6.30.

I was working in the evenings, every week day from 7PM onwards until mid-April, so the end of every weekday will involve me rushing home to make it on time for work.

Dal-bhat kauli paneer lunch, at Thamel with NG and DA, Chikusa again, meeting PU and AS in Sanepa, dropped off near home, Bhakka house with new friend, on to the dessert shop!, broken computer [Wed 1]

Disclaimer: This is being written in mid-July, because that's how things are now. I'll write the daily journal posts months after the original days. Shrug. At least it's happening?

As I start writing this in mid-July I've noticed something, maaan my days in Kathmandu were so very eventful. The first two weeks were very eventful and I figured maybe the following one month not so much, but nah the second month was eventful as hell. The last two weeks, in May weren't as eventful as February that is for sure, but I'm surprised how many people I was meeting, how many places I was going, all the food I was absolutely gorging on all this time.

This is quite a bit in contrast to the feeling of emotional wellness I had. I enjoy people, and find it productive to be around others, and like to host and have company, but am at peace with myself. And the most important part of all is that I like to be in control of my life and living situation, turns out. Which is...not much...of a discovery, it's shameful to call it an observation even, but yeahh something that hadn't been given much thought before.

Regardless, let's move on, there's a lot of ground to cover after this. Once I'm done with February -- and I intend to do so in one sitting, the current one, -- there's March and April left and the retro-posts will be done. I have written elsewhere how I might go in and add other content too, but that's for future me to decide. Having done just the journals will be quite an achievement for me, something I can be content at. This is already by far the most ambitious I have been in this blog, and uh yes there's downsides to attempting this, namely a lot of time doing something that might have questionable value, but that's life, innit?

Right, let's get on.

Had dal bhat kauli and paneer for lunch. Mom always made at least two or three tarkaris in addition to achar, and I call it a good day when I make more than one, what a pity.

During the day I went to Thamel, at Chikusa, and met with friend NG and DA. NG I'd been meeting regularly and it's possible this was one of the last times I'd see him because his time to head back to the US was coming soon. DA I'd met couple of days ago out of the blue, and it was nice catching up with her again. Chikusa was too smoky and not fun, the inside part anymore, and the experience was meh.

From Thamel I walked to Ratnapark where I took the bus to Kupondole. Except the first bus never moved, so I got out of it and went into a second one. That's how frustrating it was. Got out across the bridge, walked near Summit hotel, and PU and ASub were chilling at a restaurant nearby. AS and her husband work at an orphanage and we were all friends from KCM. We talked about our lives, AS's married life and future plans, her in-laws, I called PU a fauxcialist and a champagne socialist and in general good time was had.

PU dropped me near my house, and I walked from there to Bhakka house where I met AU and we tried the Bhakka and dessert possibly even momo too. I had a really good time, AU thought the place was too congested and since she's from east she thought she had had much better Bhakka anyway. So we went from there to the dessert shop and ate like five different kinds of desserts, no kidding.

I discovered my portable chromebook that I'd bought to write on this very blog and completely broken and was on the verge of uselessness.