The most difficult position

[idea towards the Hiranya story. need to work more on it, right here..]

Hiranya was not the kind of person to get swept up by his friends' mischievous antics. While this was mostly due to him getting swept up by his own haawaa hijinks, he did also consider himself to be a proper and well-behaving boy. Besides the things he liked doing which, he argued, were not terrible and illegal and technically would still qualify him to the good-boyhood status. What he was most definitely not was the kind of person who would be convinced to do something not only forbidden but also illegal, that could cause him a lot of embarrassment and some prison time if discovered.

The preceding weeks and months had been challenging for him.. First there was his father, who he felt could have been from another planet and not even related by the way he acted. He wanted Hiranya to go to some camp or another in the mountains. Hiranya had made plans with friends for the year-end holidays and absolutely refused to compromise on those. He ended up not talking to his father for three weeks, and spent his days watching tv on high volume instead of following up on his original plans -- just to spite the man. Then the guilt. He felt bad about the entire situation, since he'd blamed his inability to go to the India trip on his father. He wanted to apologize to his father, and to his friends, and just clear up the air, but couldn't. He had dug himself too far in. All summer he had the looks of an emotionally constipated man.

Then there was this other...situation. There was a girl...from around the neighborhood...who he had started talking to earlier in the summer. He wasn't sure if he liked her, but she was nice to him, and was a girl, and wasn't particularly rude or anything like that, so he was sure there was something going on in there. He was considering asking her out on 'some sort of date-like event', the way he thought about it, the worst she could do was say no and insult him and his entire family or whatever and he'd be right back where he started at the beginning of the summer, which wasn't really a loss. His friends hadn't met her, of course. They could never meet her, ever, or it would be the end of ...well, maybe not the end end of, but still... he would be teased and annoyed to insanity and he wasn't ready for that yet. Not until he had like kissed at fondled around at least, he thought with great conviction. That's when he would be ready telling his friends and extended group about the girl he was -- he didn't want to say date because that might suggest some conviction and responsibility on his side -- seeing...or talking to...or whatever...and who might become his girlfriend one day.

Unfortunately for him, they found out. And it ended exactly the way he knew it would. [Should I explain what happened right here, or at a later location?] He was still pissed at them for that, which was also why he didn't want to go on the trip with them. It's not just about me, he imagined explaining to an intellectual, it's their disrespect for human emotions and sense of self that I wish to punish. Now that the summer was ending he felt lonely.