These are the realizations I have had after coming back from NYC and seeing how other people live. These sorts of understandings are always the same every time I'm back in Seattle. I'll list them out because I'm in a bit of a rush, as I haven't written anything in days. There's already a big backlog as it is!
- Need
to date more, in a more relaxed and low-stress environment, uncaring
about the future consequences, implications, or situations on how the
relationship might evolve into.
- Use my fucking computer a
lot less. As in I pretend it's for writing on my blog, but it almost
never is. I'd rather, at this point, not use my computer or my phone if
that means I won't waste my time, and not write on this blog, than do
otherwise. In other words, I value my sanity and digital hygiene more
than this blog. Writing matters, but in different way.
- Need
to get out of my fucking apartment more. It can be the park, it can be
Portland, or it can be the coffee shop next door. Either way, I spend
way more time in my place than is healthy.
- Be more
healthy, walk more casually, be more outdoorsy. Just casually stroll,
hang and enjoy my surroundings. No '10k steps and thats it' lifestyle.
If blogging needs to be compromised, to be it! I don't care!
- Make
myself get out of comfort zone a lot more. I've been doing that
increasingly in recent times, but there's still so many boundaries and
blockers. I gotta swim, I gotta win, I just gotta flyyy.
- Be
more accepting of myself, with the concept of 'casual dating' in that I
don't need to be the best version of myself before getting somewhere. I
can be a work in progress and still make it. There's so many disgusting
losers who put themselves out there without a tenth of adulting as me,
it's not hard.
- Not be lazy, not just fall to the bed and read up on china and the rest. Just do it. Fuck adhd, it's just me and my body, and I need to befriend it.
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