In the previous post I wrote about how there's a person of every kind, and a person for every one in NYC. All you need to know is who you are and what you want. I'll discuss the implications of that for me, and how it relates to my current stay in Seattle.
Let's begin with the acknowledgements. My social connections in Seattle were limited and not aligned with my interests when I started out. I curated and maintained relationships with new people, got to know others, and now find myself with a circle I like and enjoying being in the center of. It has been hard work, it's taken me two years. Luck has played a big part in all of it. This is an achievement, I was not used to working to make new friends as I'd always ended up with great default friends. Here, it's taken me conscious effort and dedication to make social gatherings happen. I've used my cunning and wiles to have a semblance of what might be called a friend group.
This is not the final endpoint. I want to diversify groups further, expand them into non-Nepali folks also. I want to make the hangouts more often. It would be great if the activities were more broad, if the events were more curious. I'd love to meet new people, friends of friends and their expanding friend circles through my current circle. That doesn't seem to be on the horizon. But I'm working towards it. Small steps. We'll eventually get there. This is all conscious action, borne out of sadness, loneliness and a clear vision of what I desire.
It will all be reset if I move to New York city. I will have a friend or three if I move there but that's like saying I knew five people when I got here. They didn't add up to nothing in the end. It's not simple arithmetic, it's abstract algebra where numbers jump around. Sneaking into friend groups isn't an easy task. New friend relationships are nurtured and grown by hosting, what is the hosting situation going to be like? There will be serious concerns if I move, and that's the logistics of it.
Before we even get to the logistics, there will be more existential questions. What exactly will my social role be in there, who will I be? Will I be able to continue my awesome hobbies I have here? It will need great accommodation from friends and roommates, a challenging task when space is at premium. What sort of friends will I want, and will it align with my other needs? If I want couple friends -- a strategy aggressively pursued here -- even if I succeed there, will that help or hinder my prospects at meeting other single folks? And if I end up hanging out with mostly-single-but-dating-around friends, will it give me the satisfaction and enjoyment that I desire?
Such questions about social identity and goals will need a clearer answer before I can even consider moving East. Allow be to take a step even further back.
Why? What's the point of it all? Is it to find a partner, and is NY a must for it? Can I not just change myself in here, get on social media and fix the whole goshdarned situation? What if the grass over there is just grass like here, what if there are regrets? Aren't I a low-key homebody who enjoys nature? Am I trying to change my circumstances to avoid changing myself?
These are some hard questions in need of answering. My move is not decided, and likely won't make it there. Having a clearer vision of my own future and desires will help me make better decisions wherever I am. It is best to think of the thought exercise of moving to NYC as just that, the goal being to improve as a person and get closer to what I want. We could be having the same conversation about Europe, or New Zealand, or Nepal.
It's just that NYC is the perfect muse.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Tell me what you think. I'll read, promise.