Even if I'm a naive child, my existence will be impressed upon reality!

I was talking about this with people in NYC, and during the wedding, which is why I'm writing this now. This was an assertion of the self upon reality. It'll sound like nonsense, but play with me. It'll be short.

For the longest time ever, and during low points even now, I didn't consider myself a 'real' person. My preferences and choices didn't seem 'real'. I was an adult, or a teen or whatever, and felt that way. It was that my choices happened to be left-field, but not outrageously so, that they didn't feel valid. As if I didn't want to impinge upon reality with my nonsensical choices. For the longest time ever I felt like a 'doodh bhaat' in life.

And it's because I felt my choices were not valid. As if some people's vision of reality was more 'real' than others'. It's silly, all of us are equally lost, our approaches to life and outlook on future is equally valid. We must not hurt others or damage and be evil, but why would some silly choices be better than others? That's what I've asked myself, and felt better. People get heard because their voices are louder, they sound more confident. It's not the substance of the message often, it's the presentation. The production and projection is important.

The good news is that I've worked many years on improving the vision of the future. It was meant to legitimately improve my ideas, and it's worked. But the goal to be better than other ideas doesn't matter. Improvement must happen regardless of competition. It's time to present and produce, to project my vision into other people's heads.

My goal is to convince other people their goals and framing of their own lives is valid too. Self care, and kindness are important, beyond that it's all some random choice or other.