"Has the asceticism been worth it?" : The costs of being a social media hermit, and maintaining a small footprint

This is a part of the NYC series of posts because the realization came during the trip.

My grandparents tease me that I'm going to be formally an ascetic soon. No tea, coffee or even milk for me, I don't drink or smoke (cigs), and I don't eat meat. I'm not on social media, I don't like eating out, and I have a very limited 'consumption footprint'.

No wonder.

Now I'm beginning to reconsider some of my choices.

I'm not on instagram. That's how everybody keeps in touch with friends, and my single guy friends have used it as a way to meet people too. If not that, people use instagram as a 'social filter' before meeting new friends-of-friends, for when they can't do too much research on somebody. The site is research, to understand how somebody lives and interacts with their community is an important part of courtship. Which people want to avoid doing my just looking up on instagram. I don't believe it's the right way, but it is what is happening, and my displeasure won't change the world.

It appears that fuckerburg has won. I have lost. My social media banbaas of 12 years (and literally 12 years too, I quit in 2012) appears to be coming to an end. My dating and socializing options have been so very limited. I have artificially handicapped myself for all of those years for no reasons. It does make me anxious and miserable, but that appears to be an acceptable tradeoff in partner-finding. I'm not happy about this situation. I'd much rather be partnered up before getting on social media, but wishes and horses...

A quick note on the second part: consumption footprint. It has been a conscious choice over the years to not drive, not generate unnecessary trash, just live a simple if a bit ascetic life. All of this wasn't accidental, and it wasn't about money at all. If it were, I wouldn't be throwing around so much money in unnecessary gifts to people who aren't expecting it. It really has been about my beliefs all along.

Just when the rest of the world appears to be turning my way, I'm considering becoming a normie. I have yet again handicapped my reach by limiting my footprint. It's been an unnecessary tradeoff one is getting tired of. Perhaps this needs to turn. 

All of this is just thoughts and considerations, nothing is final yet. But I am thinking, after so long. If it means I'm forced to partner up to avoid making those changes, great. If not, I'll just become a normal boy and not an artificially constrained by his choices guy.