I'm writing this post because it directly relates to individuals and events of the previous post.
The person in concern was hoping to have a good time. He had moved to NYC recently, and had envisioned an amazing life for himself. Unfortunately things didn't pan out the way he anticipated. He was trying really really hard to have an adventure. The way they showed on tv! Like Friends! How I met your mother! He was unhappy, unsatisfied with himself, anxious about the state of affairs. He was seeking happiness in all the corners of the city, and eventually the world. It eluded him anyhow. How unfortunate.
Our plan for the night was to go out party with other friends. It didn't work out. The likeliest explanation is that our contact (the person in question) lied about the plan. He turns out to be a known confabulator, making up details needlessly. We ended up at a fun party anyway, the night was full of adventures. We went to Brooklyn, walked around town, back to the city, and danced until 4am. I had a good time. He was miserable. This is not what he had hoped things would be like.
I had to remind him: happiness is inside you. Once you have your fundamental needs met, changing your physical world won't give you extra joy unless you work on yourself. The anxiety, unhappiness, and dissatisfaction stays with you. You cannot run away from yourself, I said to him.
About adventure: you get to define your adventures and live by them. The wildest of mountain-climbing exercise could end up a tedious chore if your heart's not into it. You could turn a slow night of with a bit of devil's lettuce with a few friends into the most adventurous evening. You choose what makes you happy, you get to make your own adventures and go on them. Or so I told the guy.
He called me bad names, no lie. He happened to be a friend of a friend, it made sense to pretend not to hear.
You can take a horse to water but...
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