One wonders if New Yorkers' approach to dating is completely different from the rest of the country.
I discovered on multiple occasions during the trip that people considered a partners' nasty apartment, mediocre hygiene standards, and other 'important' factors to be unimportant for dating. When I asked what it was that they cared for the reply was: 'matching vibes'. Perhaps I overestimate women, and humanity as a whole should be given even less benefit of doubt than I give it. Perhaps serious dating options are so slim in NYC for the ladies they must make-do with what is available. One hopes my sampling was unusual, and I talked to only those on the more-desperate side of the scale.
Even beyond that, NYC dating appears to be a...discontinuous...market. There are some people who meet their people and thrive, and just move on. Then there are others who on paper should not struggle, but they do, and make repeated mistakes in their dating lives. The same issues pop up again and again, but it's never clear to them that they might be the issue. It's a universal issue, but felt much pronounced in the city. Given similar demographic pool and socioeconomic backgrounds, it's be fair to assume people would have a gradation of experience with dating. A 'kinked' line of dating history was surprising and confusing to me. One wonders if people who shouldn't be in the city are forcing themselves to be, to live their imagined adventures, only to struggle and flail.
It's unclear what all of this means for my own NYC plans. Caution is warranted. Larger, stronger social circles are absolutely necessary before heading to the mosh-pit. Good, honest, kind friends who tell you if something is up are worth their weight in gold. It's possible the disjointed experience is caused by a lack of social wealth.
I'm keeping my ears to the ground to try understand more of this.
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