Regular readers of this blog will know I have made it my life's goal to understand this country. It has felt like a foreign place. People don't seem to talk about what they care for. I can't seem to identify what drives them, what gives them a sense of identity, what motivates them. People are different, of course. But there's always the social superstructure under which people begin forming their identity. It has been my goal to try understand where we stood with that framework. I think I'm getting closer.
During the wedding, I talked to friends L&A who are a recently-married couple. We talked finances, and I was curious about how they figured out the wedding finances. They were quite open about the internal logistics. I was informed about family dynamics, who pays for what, how things usually work. We went further than that: I got to know the hard numbers in cash that was spent. I have a good sense of understanding of US weddings now. I found out the expenses for their siblings' weddings too!
Why now, I wonder. I might be more mature and open to asking potentially uncomfortable questions. They might have matured as well and become open to talking about adult matters. Perhaps it's the interpersonal relationships that are stronger, more open to discussing potentially deep content? I imagine it's a mixture of all of those. I was humbled, excited to become a part of the community, finally. Thirteen effing years.
Also, an invitation to people's rich-suburban home. Wonderful, just so wonderful. I will not make a habit out of it. It's good to bother people a little bit, so they know you're okay taking them a little bit for granted.
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