Addicted

I got away from news bullshit and toxic websites like twitter reddit the orange site for a long time, since 2016 mostly, I've lost the battle here and there particularly at work and when there's too much happening and I need distractions from real life, but generally I've been good on-and-off. Even if I do unproductive work, it's towards more productive outcomes like writing programming etcetera. Only recently, due to this freaking corona virus thing and then the resulting market swings, the potential recession that appears to be closely following everything have I started looking at those sites and oh man, I'm addicted. For the last several days -- weeks rather -- I've been checking those websites nonstop, refreshing the same infection page five times a minute, updating friends on the latest updates on the disease and historically low days in the market every hour, and so forth. Things are bad, perhaps it's because I'm not back in my routine, or that I'm stressed out because of everything happening around in the world, or perhaps I'm just lazy and using this as an excuse to allow my latent addictions to come to the fore. Regardless, law and order that had been established, a certain personal calm confidence and discipline that I had going on for myself for many months has been destroyed.

I'm unsure about the causality, if it's the information addiction that led me to give up on everything else, including this blog, or of it's the giving up on everything else (due to everything else) that led me to get back to my old habits. Either way things are bad.

I'm beginning to think no matter what happens I need a vitamin supplement (vit d and the general vit capsules) with me at all times, as if they're a life-or-death medications. I took a couple after a really long time (well since Boston really) and I feel so much productive and motivated right now. So much so that I'm considering daring, and daring is the right word here absolutely, making up for the lost ten days -- damn that's a long time to attempt to make up for -- in the following few days. I mean yeah, the quality's gonna be trash the length's going to be embarrassing you know what I say, it's better to half ass or even quarter ass something if you can't full-ass something than to not do it at all.

In any case, need to take care of the addictions asap. Need other means of distraction, dawg.