What a strange dream I had today. That I was taking a math exam for some reason. I used to be reasonably good at math, but then stopped thinking, and now I'm awful. I used to be good in school but probably would not be anymore as the work ethic and the ability to concentrate on something important for hours and days to an end is gone. I've been coasting for the past several years on the former gains.
Anyway, I was taking the exam and somehow Mr. P. Rai (from DH back in BNKS) was the invigilator and he kept spotting my sneaky ways to cheat and buy myself out of it. I got more and more stressed out, pretended my pen broke, actually broke my pen, spoiled the exam paper, and all the different tricks, and nothing worked. In the end I figured might as well try taking the paper maybe it's manageable but realized I don't know how to do any of it.
Maybe I should start studying again, in math or anything else. Studying is like meditating, I find it kind of monastic. And not the college-style 'holistic' studying where you look at a bunch of resources and try to come up with a 'picture' but the old-style math-or-sciences studying where you were either solving problems and running and figuring out the tricks to solving problems or you were not.
Perhaps my subconscious is telling me to go back into doing tech exercises online.
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