... Nilkantha [2]

...I have a really bad stomach for the next three days and I develop kind-of an allergic reaction, which is blueish rashes whenever they go through, a cosmopolitan blue in this case. Haha, I still turn a little blueish when I get agitated and am in my real form or whatever, I'm not making this up at all, he said, concluding his story, tears of joy in his eyes.

The room remained silent. Broo, you serious? You're saying you just took some poison just like that, and it just turned you blue, and that's it, you didn't take any meds or OD kid or nothing, someone asked.

Yeah man, what can I say, I guess I'm good like that huh. To be honest though those three days were freaking hell, I was all burning up, and the rashes -- they hurt like anything, even a mild gust of wind would flare them up. I pretty much stayed enmeshed in snow and ice all that time just to reduce the heat and the pain, and funny thing, all the ice melted really quick, that's how hot it was, He replied.

Damn man, you could have died...you gotta watch out what you're putting in your body man, there's a lot of stuff out there that can fuck you up permanently. Like you know with all those celebrities, they take a shit cocktail of all those fucked up drugs, and they OD, and just die like that, like Michael Jackson and who not, said another voice from the group.

Yeah, in retrospect, some consideration might have been wise, definitely agree with you there. In that particular moment, there wasn't anything better I could do -- my folks were in desperate need of help, and there was nothing I could do except... you know. Yeah, if given a chance I'd probably have disposed of it better and done some research and science and what not, but given the time and the circumstances, there was nothing better I could have done. I do not miss that experience though. I was delirious for those entire days, and you cannot even begin to imagine the crazy shit I saw for those days, man crazy fucked up stuff, He said, looking not too pained.

You must have PTSD from that, get nightmares, said the roommate.

Yeah actually you know what, not really, I rather enjoyed those visions, so it's more of a good kind of fantasy, He said.

Sexy kinda good fantasy ehh, someone said, winking.

Haha, not at all. More of a world-encompassing vision, like imagine taking all the psychedelics in the world, all the kinds, all of the volume, all at once, in their full potency. Turn that to a hundred, and imagine you are still in control of all of it. It's like you can see the entire universe in one go, but not in the disjointed tripped-out way you feel when high on shrooms, but in a real, physical way. I could see all the stars and planets, the animals and plants and beings, all the molecules of gases and the superclusters of galaxies. I could see and feel the smallest entities of creation, and touch them, and also be at one with all the universes. Big, small, it was all the same. I was the universe, almost, the universe seemed to do my bidding. I could end star systems just by concentrating strongly enough, I could coax particles of hydrogen and helium to coalesce into stars and galaxies. I could wish and setup and speed up biological evolution in planets, or I could cause mass extinctions in a blink of an eye, He said. I took a long breath. It was all coming to Him, and considering it all in one go could be overwhelming at times. The room was in a trance, eyes wide, everyone staring at him. He smiled coyly.

And I'm a little embarrassed to admit it, I liked ending things better. Start over from clean slate. You can only start a series of processes, you cannot wish upon a creation and have it appear instantly. So when you want something new, the first thing to do is to check what's preventing it from happening under existing circumstances. As it happened, the very existence of existing circumstances often stop new exciting changes from happening. So I would end things. End a life, so a new one is born. End a civilization so two new take its place. End a stellar system so the base components can be recycled into a different system. Destroy a system of rules so a different one may exist. Existence is inertia. Inertia is linear, you could almost argue predestination. Disrupting existence means disrupting the inertia of existence. Destruction of objects and entities means the end to predestination. The universe is not a clockwork of creation, for no one can predict what will happen. All we can do is set in a chain of events that we hope take the direction we desire it to take. Destruction and death means there are more things that can happen, that there is choice for entities, and their choices have meanings. To exist, things must end, He said, in a rather uncharacteristically serious tone. The room took a long sigh collectively, having held its breath for the past fifteen minutes.

We should start heading out, it's 6am already, the sleep cycle will get all messed up if we don't get to bed in a couple of hours, someone said. The room cleared out pretty fast.