Twenty questions to nowhere

Is it an animal?

Is it the boyfriend you thought you were gonna marry but he dumped you two weeks later because he was sleeping with you just to piss somebody else off for no good reason?

Is it a water creature?

Is it a cooking implement?

Is it that piece of cookie you dropped on the street but you picked off and ate anyway on your first date and somehow that was one of the best date you've been on?

Is that the bottle of lotion that you saw an ad for on the drive to work and it somehow reminded you how you hadn't gotten a raise in two years?

Is it your older brother who's married to a beautiful kind generous woman who makes more money than him, could go to the olympics if she wanted to or become a model but she won't because she wants to spend more time with their three incredibly cute adorable children?

Is it your journal underneath your pillow that you've not touched for three months now because you fear there's nothing happening in your life and writing in it will just force you to come to terms with it?

Is it a plant?

Is it an edible plant?

Is it a fruit?

Is it a green vegetable?

Is it bokchoy?

Is it spinach cooked in some salty japanese liquid that you tried when you thought maybe you were lesbian because things weren't working out with men, and the Japanese girl who was going to be promoted to become the ambassador to some country quickly figured out you were in the date basically for the free food and still pretended to be interested and gave a half-hearted kiss and patted you on the head sort of and told you everything was gonna be okay?

Is it collard greens?

Is it recyclops?

Is it green chilli?

Is it a toy?

Is it hurt feelings?