Because I screwed the pooch, so to speak, this month and didn't write at all for the entire month. I did write some whatever nonsense but not the journal posts which have traditionally been the easiest to write. And generally didn't write. Against the spirit of the plan of writing in this blog. This has to stop. I've said I'd rather stop writing in this blog entirely than do this pathetic self-hating thing where I force myself to write one big dump every so often but otherwise not care much. That's self-punishment. With no editorial oversight. This has to stop happening.
Starting in April I'm thinking if I write everyday (or the following day), the posts live, but no more catching up. They 'heydey' (lmao) of this blog may be behind us and that's alright, if it doesn't become the tool of self improvement that it was meant to be and instead feels like a burden, what is the point even, you know? What. Is. The. Point. Even?
Yeah, so here you go, three and half weeks worth of journal posts in one large dump. Still have like a dozen or so posts to go, dunno if I'll bother 'catching up' even. This is so pathetic, I've been telling myself I'll do better for the past two years, been saying these catchup posts will end for the same time but that's not happened. Am I destined to live in this sisyphian disappointment for all (well...limited) eternity? IS this my fate? What the heck.
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