There's not much left to mince words towards anymore. It's possible, quite likely, that I'm walking into a predestined shithole I have resisted all my life, something I don't want to get into, something that'll make me regret my decisions for the rest of my life and make me deeply unhappy, which I cannot openly show so I'll have to pretend to accept my fate and be a deeply bitter person with longheld grudges, the sort that takes out their frustrations on other people, and cannot do anything to reject the destiny. Are we just puppets, yielding marionettes to the strings of culture and fate unable to decide our future and having to follow the same old script, with minor 'improvisations' but are fundamentally same? What of the human will, of consciousness, that which separates us humans from wild animal?
I will not submit. I will not surrender. I will choose to suffer, not just for the sake of it but as a rejection of fate if it must come to that, if that is the only way I can live like a normal human being with agency. People are not agents, we get our say in the matter of our lives, and nothing can change that. I will not give up, I won't bail out on my hopes dreams and desires. I will keep pushing.
The fight will go on.
I have not made a mistake, just a minor misstep, that will be corrected. I deserve a happy peaceful life of my own choosing, made without pressure and full under my own volition.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Tell me what you think. I'll read, promise.