The new noise-cancelling headphone is fantastic

-I bought JBL 675 NC from costco because it was on sale, figured I'd get a modern device
-Has fantastic noise cancellation and sound reproduction, perfect for walks with ambient mode
-Good headphone with an earphone-touchscreen to control it would be the perfect device
-Ear hurts in the back after wearing for too long due to glasses but getting used to it

Too much taco bell before hiking equals terrible idea

-Went to Valhala lake for hike with friends the other day, 13 miles roundtrip
-More details on the hike elsewhere but I and a friend had full taco bell breakfast before
-Felt great at the time but too 'hearty'- didn't feel hungry for the rest of the day
-Heavy beans and rice before a long and hard hike might not be the best idea
-Better than an empty stomach anyway

DISCLAIMER: I KNOW THE CLAIMS OF THIS POSTS MADE TO BE FALSE, BUT WRITING HERE ANYWAY!

I have 85 posts titled. Will I bandwrite them? (yes I handwrote them)

-Have titled 90 posts in my kindle scribe notebook, have written only five
-Goal is to 'cover up' for posts for late July and maybe late June
Don't want to use the computer to write... it's too distracting and not tactile enough
-Potentially too aggressive and ambitious but love the tactile experience of hand-writing
-Will be only 30 posts behind-those for August-if I make through
-Bullet points instead of full posts will be of great help to take me there

EDITOR'S NOTE: YES I HANDWROTE 170 OF THEM AND COUNTING.

What is even the perfect hiking food-?

-Have been hiking every weekend lately
-Wondering about the perfect hike food
-Granola is too sweet and cloying, fruits are not filling enough, chanchan makes me thirsty
-Taco Bell meal before hike is a bad idea
-what is the best meal to carry for a day Like then
-Perhaps food that can be rehydrated? Not cheese and canned veggies for sure
-Need to experiment, ask around to find out

I've been eating too many sweet things

-Too many chocolates, candies, snacks lately
-Not usually bought so sugar feels like a treat but it makes me feel miserable
-Sweet foods during hikes are specially the
worst
Hopefully diet improves as my health recovers and I get to regular routine

Minoxidil my friend, you are my hope now

-Bought minoxidil to fix balding crown finally
-Started using earlier today
-Need to do it twice daily, after the meal
-Basically like brushing one's teeth
-Hopefully will hide the balding crown for a few more years
-In related note, graying hairs are coming out. like crazy

Minor political hope with the recent changes

-Haven't wanted to think about US National politics in recent times
-More recently though, dueto election of KH and the announced UP, there appears to be hope
-If the orange buffoon wins again, it'll be a surprise and a shock but these people will have deserved such an awful moron( s)
-keeping fingers crossed...

The potted plants have been thriving

-Finally put fertilizers on the houseplants this year
-Bird of paradise has multiple leaves out
-Pothos has grown out respectably
-All other plants besides the monster ra cutting are thriving
-Bit of a contrast to my hydroponics success

Maybe the lavender medication worked?

-My motivation and self-drive outside of work has been low in Q3
-A suspicion is it's because I was on Silexan for earlier this year but changed to generic lavender meds between the quarters
-To be fair the generic one's been taken irregularly too
-Maybe Silexan was really that great and took months to work? Maybe it's other variables?
-How would I even do RCT to figure it out?

I should practice who, not how concept harder

-Haven't finished reading the 'Who, Not How' book but it's been excellent to guide me
-Need to be practicing it more often-ask for help and favor at work, ask for emotional support etc.
-Thinking I should deploy local librarians to research for my bollywood movie podcast
-Make it sound like a super-fancy research
-Deploying other people's expertise, often for free, gives me outsized results, it's silly to avoid that
-Who, Not How, Philosophy makes organizing easier, success faster, relationships stronger
-Just reach out to people for help, dammit!

My kinda myths research is going great

-Listened to 20 hours of lectures on the history of Shiva-Shakti worship in Kashmir
-Oxford offers classes on exactly the topics of my interest, I feel like a legit grad student
-Sometimes I want to drop it all and be a grad student of Religion, but multiple roadblocks
-Once my career transition succeeds, it's only a matter of few short years
-Wanted to start a trash podcast, but the more I learn, the higher my standards rise
-Will probably start something anyway, I'm legitimately learning so much, my confidence in my ignorance is stabilizing

Why do I want to get into product mgmt?

-Because I want to shape strategy& initiatives
-I like being in charge of big picture stuff, find the minor details boring and uninteresting
-Not a great software engineer
-Make similar amount of money in two positions
-Software experience makes me a better product guy
-Want to work with people, socialize, more than work in front of a screen
-want to shape the direction of my work and be more responsible of the direction it takes

Motivation super low at work

-Motivation historically low at work
-Partly due to illness, partly due to the NLB nature of work, partly due to org leadership
-Need to improve my personal mental hygiene so my outlook of work is better

Overplaying age of empires

-Have been playing a few rounds of game every day, haven't learned to play it much
-My version is so old it's extremely hard to play
-A bit of fun, always using cheat, easy way to avoid writing and doing productive shit Don't really enjoy doing it, but gaming teaches important life skills
-How do I learn those life skills without gaming much? Food for thought

Am I okay?

Am I okay?
My apartment is a mess And my kitchen remains
a total war zone,
my daily routine
hasn't begun yet,
• it strikes fear in my heart,
and I'm not fully back
from the cold illness recently suffered.
Oh and I have been
napping for hours
during the day,
and nights full of aniety
spent on reddit
trying to feel better myself
in an imagined reality
of living
in the New York City.
My 10k steps have gotten irregular And grocery runs happen never.
No, I am not okay,
all by myself
I am recovering
and soon I'll get there!

Modern tech at a friend's

-Friend from college, twice floor mate A. T, who is quite rich and has my fantasy Job position, has so many hi-tech gadgets
-A cat wet food refrigerator that warms& serves food on schedule to the Kitty
-A cat water fountain that measures drunk liquid and notifies for every fountain drink
-A cat litter that packages cat poop and de-odorizes, you just throw the litter packets
-A lock that is digital, can generate keypad codes and work from App
-I'm impressed

Should I be doing more?

-Friend A. T is so motivated, so many hobbies, so many friends, so outgoing
-An inspiration, my Nepali friends dont hobby much
-Self identity issues-despite everything, perhaps that's who I aspire to become. I shoud be getting my hobbies tighter, get more, make more friends.
-No cause of immediate concern, just explore possibility there are people who are fully occupied and it's okay to aspire that way& put more effort

How to even recover after illness?

-Hadn't gotten sick in a long while, having issues recovering daily routine after recovery
-Food and apartment mess has been an issue, as I can't get started without clearing those up
-But taking care of them already takes so much energy, it's a vicious circle of being a loser
-Travel and illness are the two biggest disruptions to my routine and productive mindset
-Need to develop a playbook on how to get back to being your own self, back to the routine

Need to expand professional network

-Target is product management position with compensation multiple times current
-Need a network to vouch for oneself, to be the 'who' from 'who not how'
-my local professional network is limited to none, no linkedin, minimal in-person contacts
-How to even get started, seeing as I'm not a professional player? Friends of friends?
-My dream job wont be in the job site it needs person-to-person contact
-Next goal is to keep expanding social and professional circles so I can eventually hit up my fantasy team
-It's time to network to fulfil my fantasy
-Use universities 'alumni networks?

Moving plans reconsidered

-Found bunch of good old college friends
-They have extensive networks of friends and hobbies and single friends
-If hangouts with the Americans continues, I plan to stay around
-More hiking happening, other personal networks expanding too
-Need to leverage expanding all social circles to find a partner, links to the fantasy job
-At that point, no reason to move anywhere, I already love the weather

writing? What writing?

-Haven't written in this blog for weeks
-Busy with travel, illness, recovery, and laziness, but getting back to the routine
-Nature and medium of writing will change, most writing to happen with pen on my kindle, hate computer and screens
-Eventually, as planned, kindle will replace the computer or laptop, just use kindle

Heat wave pain

-Heat wave during illness/recovery hindering coming back to routine, causing day naps
-Fan broke down at the start of the heat wave, so not much to do but rest, relax, recover. No writing happened, poor weather to blame
-weather getting better, new fan bought, so life's gotten more productive, more writing
-Thank God for Seattle weather!

Conversations that go stale

-I'm usually quite good starting conversations and keeping them alive with interesting people
-With some people though, the talk is hard to keep up, maybe they're bad at it, or uninterested?
-Fortunately such conversations often go away state without either of the parties putting effort
-Don't have to officially end the conversation, phew
-Would like to have a spark kindle a wildfire of emotions all-consuming, but the slow burn is fine
-Some people are so bad at texting or over phone, though perfect to talk in real life

Trapped inside one's head

-Didn't go out, write, or have fun for a while
-Imagined or 'feared' relationships aren't real, one must live and experience to learn and understand
-Must open myself to the world, be okay with getting hurt, no point in losing in imagined reality
-Actual reality almost always kinder to one than imagined or feared reality
-Should never imprison oneself inside one's head

Dancing friends found

-Friend AT from college is DJ, has a large group of people who goes clubbing
-Hope is to join them up on dance outings. Way more fun in a large group than one or two as right now
-Will also help me take advantage of my location, to pre-game and afterparty, as originally hoped
-Hope this dance group works out

Career services support needed

-Need to expand my professional network to work towards the fantasy position
-No leads or opportunities to grow social circles for jobs, random contacts are often flaky
-Alumni of 3 big universities, hope is to leverage alumni office and career services of those institutions to get closer to the goal
-Aligns with 'Who not How' philosophy-who can help me connect to the team and company?
-Minor concerns around this not working out, maybe they don't have strong networks(?)
-But that's their problem not mine, worth making a serious effort
-In the least, it'll help me expand my greater network for future use-case!

Viet Sauce failure and purchase

-I purchased fermented soy-rice sauce and it tastes exactly as imagined
-My yearlong experiment with the vict sauce failed as the jar got moldy. Thrown out.
-Respectable attempt, learned a lot, will remember some projects need constant care and attention, can't just ignore in the middle

Hydroponic fails

-Basil bolted and flowered, stopped growing
-Something happened to the mint plant, all leggy and dead suddenly
-Took up all the light, nutrients and so mac water, but little to show for it
-Cleaned the machine and water, restarted
-If it fails, will go fully into colorful flowers
-At least something nice to show for it

Friend's apartment observations

-Met AT with my college group, went to the apartment she owns at Capitol Hill
-Her apartment is fully cat-oriented, thousands of dollars in hi-tech devices, and play toys
-Thousands of dollars worth board games, lego sets and so forth
-A lot more hobby-oriented than expected, my first " passionate hobbyist American 'apartment
-Lots a cute photos from the instant camera too
-My apartment feels a lot more low-rent yet full of 'character' by comparison
-Everything in her place has a story, I must find that for myself too

Meditation possibilities and desire

-Haven't restarted meditation
-Helps me ground myself, learn to observe my thoughts and habits, is always cumulative
-Provides a much clearer vision of future, and present& past than anything
-Is a generalized skill, cross-training with my other hobbies, never is there a downside!
-way to reach enlightenment according to Shaiva beliefs, helps with Yoga too

Job potentials

 -What can I do potentially to maximize my future value within the restraints of current job?
- 'Official' job is more limiting than expansive, need to take initiative to turn into one of my desire
-Many leadership, thought leadership, ideation, mentorship, communication and training opportunities
-Ultimate goal is to be product manager outside
-Fantasy position with 5 × the total comp and specific position, but only the North star to guide journey
-Must always ask-how can I convince them that my current job equips me better for the desired position.

Reddit and anxiety

 -People go to reddit because they are anxious
-most reddit content only makes anxiety worse
-even if not, the website's a total waste of time
-being in good mental health means avoiding reddit until one must use it
-will reduce the crop site usage, travel has messed my anxiety and shit site usage
-at least I dont use orange site anymore

10 books I must finish

1. The Self Delusion
2. Start More than You Can Finish
3. Flow
4. The Taste of Empire
5. Draw to Win
6. Blah Blah Blah: what to do when words
don't work
7. Move
8. Who Not How
9./Ox is better than 2x
10. Be Your Future Self Now

13 things I wanna do

1. Learn to Swim by year-end
2. Be a better dancer by year-end
3. Invite multiple friend groups over for dinner
every week
4. Be better at golf
5. Start podcasting ASAP
6. A Ph.D or Master's in Religion studies
7. Redo the content of my website
8. Date seriously, casually, anything, in Seattle
9. Get an amazing product manager job
10-Finish reading library books on my shelf
11. Travel to europe
12. Meditate for 180 days in a row
13. 15k steps daily for 100 days

Hair, gone, and medication

-Rate of hair-loss on my crown increasing
-Will be completely bald in six months
-Extraordinarily concerning
-Not ready yet, want a few more years
-Started applying minoxidil as I write this
-Has to be regular like tooth brushing
-Okay, it's for my hair!

Social possibilities

-New college friend group found, more people to spend time with
-they're social and have their own circles-chance to expand my group
-In addition to a couple of independent Nepali friend groups
-Realizing I'll have to go to meetup groups and be friends with randos for networking, more open-minded to the possibility
-Expanding social circles will only benefit me socially and professionally
-Will eventually get instagram too because I have lost the game of chicken with the universe
-Ideal fantasy still to host multiple groups of friends multiple nights a week, have the friends now
-Just execute man!

Getting off the self-control boat

-Daily routine, writing, walks, meditation, avoiding reddit and personal growth all on pause
-Travel and illness messed up with self- control and ability to live by routine
-Most important thing is messy apartment, until it's sorted out I can't focus on anything
-I should pay people to clean my apt
-Finally getting shit together 10 days of arrival from Boston
-Messiness, food, and sleep are the biggest issues, messy kitchen tucks me up doubly so
-Living room and kitchen cleaned, laundry and bedroom cleaning remain
-kitchen is stocked now

Oh what a mess

Oh a
what
mess I find
myself in, that I created
In sickness and laziness, not my productive self So I said, fuck it
I won't write,
I'll chill,
Relax
And So
Days of relaxation
Days of naps and rest
Days of wasting time on nothing much else went by, quitting me greatly
What a mess
Guilty AF
Disgusted.
I'm back
Now I write
Trying to recover lost productivity
Now things are back, let's have fun, all!

Past issues of Crunch and Crumble

-Have been listening to dozens and dozens of past episodes of Radio X's show with Ed Gamble.
-Always total bullshit chat, low stakes, connected jokes, makes me feel comfortable and relaxed
-Listened to almost 2 years of shows in last few weeks

Zero Ice is not perfect

-Bought 12-pack of zero ice, didn't refrigerate it, drank daily
-It's far too acidic and the flavors are far too syrupy and artificial
-hard to notice when cold, but room-temp zero Ice is cloyingly sweet, you forget the 0- calories part and worry about teeth and tummy
-may be the end of my relation with the drink

Uninspired and lay cooking

- Because of messy kitchen and lack of grocery cooking supplies, haven't cooked for days
-been living on sandwiches on air-fryer, bowls with cut tofu and kimchi and microwave out
-Dried noodles during multiple meals-hard time!
-Flavor not too bad but can't be great health wise
-Kitchen cleaned, supplies bought, adult life begins

Sickness and writing

 -I can't write when sick, hate using computer
-Kindle writing on pen feels so much better than other
-Thank god for the kindle scribe! It's been paid back multiple times. So much drawing and writing
-Scribe has made me consider the importance of the physical media, the importance of tactile feedback
-Actively avoided writing or even thinking of writing all this time, thus the pressure to 'recover' writing
-Have been writing 50 bullet-point posts today. for July, will do 45 for July-Aug and 25 for June. It'll be done finally
-Loving handwriting, expressing. Feels opposite of wasting time in the computer
-Should really become more comfy dictating to cellphone when sick

Summer park Concerts

-Thursday Concerts in the Volunteer Park are the best
-Met up with a bunch of friends last week, danced
-Legit bands, legit good music, actual fun times had
-Thinking of celebrating every thursday
-Only two more days of music left, need to make the most out of the whole situation
-Sponsored by one of the biggest bands!-they live nearby
-Never such a great chance to party with old white people

Friends discovery

-Discovered 4 people of senior year college housing in here
-Met them up, got dinner, hung out at an apartment, lots of potential to socialize and have fun
-Some extroverts too, great chance to grow groups
-Plan is to invite them for dinner, and keep the party going, eventually will mix groups with couple friends
-Here's hoping I can go clubbing and expand into their existing friend networks
-Great potential for partners too, this is how this would ideally work, should put real effort

Shaiva lessons

-Listened to dozens of hours of lectures on Shaivism
-Turns out maybe Shaiva cult is newer than I thought
-Real difference in various forms of shaiva worship
-Not all shaiva worship is ascetic, multitudes of types
-South India, Kashmir, Kathmandu major tantric centers
-Eventually tantric Shaivism melds with Buddhism, around Tibet and the Kathmandu valley
-All/most forms of goddess/Shakti worship are also part Shaivist worship

Full day of rest and recovery [Wed 31]

-Slept all day long, took multiple medications
-Drank way too much zero ice, started worrying about not having written much
-Slept for dozens of hours, felt better during the evening already.

Recovery, pan-bhaji, Roosevelt water, relatives dinner, driven [Tue 30]

-I'd promised Sat to water their plants over the weekend. Felt fresh and healthy enough to go to their apt. to do that
-Had pan bhaji for lunch, so easy, used burger buns
-Came home, rested, walked to Bell town to pick up goodies from Nepal including glasses at relatives '
-Talked a bunch, ate knees on the Kheer-eating day
-Was driven home by my cousin
-Coughed a lot, lot, lot during the night. couldn't
sleep, had fever, took day off work for the next day.

Minor recovery, new shoes, volunteer walk, pan bhaji [Mon 29]

-Took loads of meds to feel better, more in control
-Tried my new shoes from Amazon to walk around
-Walked to volunteer park, took a few rounds, talked to friend R on video chat
-Had Pan Bhaji for dinner after long time

Sandwich & rest, full-day rest [Sun 28]

-Got very ill, had cheese-tomato-tofu sandwich and nuts rested the whole day
-Slept, took painkillers, ate zero Ice, slept more

Sleepless, Taco breakfast, bad shoe waterless hike, sick bbq [Sat 27]

-Didn't sleep much, went to bed late and got up far too early
-Hiking 12-mile trail at lake Valhalla with PS and R
-Rushed, didn't carry enough water
-Taco Bell breakfast, so heavy, dense, filling
-Decent hike, low energy, lake was decent. Ran out of water at destination and had to drink lake water
-Return trip was painful-headache and hurt ankle due to crappy Amazon shoes with wrong sizing
-Very very sick with headache, tried to nap but unable
-BBQ at P's in Kent, took 2 painkillers and felt lots better. Many other friends were there too
-Tried muffin tops that I took, and asparagus
-12.30 when coming back, R was a social butterfly

Yum Nepali brunch, Lyft to airport, potbelly, chat, flight home [Fri 26]

-Last day in Boston
-Yummy that-dal lunch as I looked& commented JD's book
-Took Lyft, dropping the gang harbor side, to the airport
-Had a big potbelly lunch, with a long international video call with a friend as I ate. 2 hours!
-Unremarkable flight home, Lyft from airport
-No dinner due to large lunch, very late to bed( important!

Fun at work, Santouka lunch, Newbury, friends, Harvard [Thu 25]

-Went to work, travel day for all, nobody worked, people went to Bed a Borg etc.
-Said farewell to my squad four or five times, kept encountering them
-Walked to Santon ka Ramen with random coworkers, got yummy two-egg ramen, heard too many tales of fun college life at UNH
-Went to Trident books, bought a few books, checked newbary comics, went to the Target nearby for restroom
-Took an annoying and slow bus to Harvard Square, red line trains broken, walked to ID's place
-Chilled, caught up, dinner, and walk to LA Burdick's for chocolate desserts
-Intense late night conversations with AD about Balen
-Strange apartment architecture choices

Bleh office lunch, brewery memory, fun late night hang [wed 24]

-Had leftover mexican lunch and ice cream because we we all busy with meetings
-Serious squad meetings with long-term impact done
-Walked with coworkers to North Station after work, the area has changed so much since my time!
-Ended up at Night shift Brewery, great place, good food, easy to talk to and mingle
-Reminded of 2019 days when I went there after the rock climbing gym, memories vividly came back
-Great convos about my fridge idea, coworkers added their twist, gambling for beer idea added
-Went to the Tavern in the Square, around for 2 more hours, nice socializing with the squad I work with
-Train back to hotel before midnight

Boston! Morning snooze, fun work, timeout meh, early in [Tue 23]

-Landed at 5, hotel at 5.45 on a taxi, so cheap
-Crappy supplies, no paste, blackout windows and sleep
-Had 3 hours of sound sleep, little late to meetings
-Great day at work meeting people, I miss humans
-Took train to Fenway, for timeout market, walked by Blink 182 concert, crazily crowded, all ages
-Dinner and team hang at timeout. It was loud, crowded and not great for getting caught up.
-Got 'med' dinner from Anoushelle, yuck yuck yuck, one of the more disappointing meals
-Out early, took cat home, didn't go bar-hopping with the squad

Art class, pricey airport ride, tatoe 'dinner, flight, sleep [ Mon 22]

-Went to art class in the morning as was standard
-Packed and took $90 ride to the airport on Lyft
-Quick on security, relaxed with headphones
-Dinner at Greedy cow, accurate name, overpriced and extremely mediocre, got too much fries ugh
-Uneventful flight, didn't sleep through but more than enough for landing next morning in Boston

Eggs in buns sandwiches, packing& ready for trip, park walk [Sun 21]

-lunch was eggs and veg sandwich with cheese on buns
-also finished all the snacks bought for the hike
-Walked to volunteer park and back
-packed up and got ready for the Boston trip on Monday

Uneven sleep, hike day, failure, lakes, money, swim [Sat 20]

 -Didn't get enough sleep, woke up too early on hike day
-Walked to PS's place with extra supplies, ready for a grand adventure
-R was super late, we missed two hike groups we planned with by hours, got MoD's breakfast
-Parked half-mile away because of lateness
-PS felt unwell, hike ended in a mile or two
-Went to the nearest lake and walked but it was crappy
-Drove to Kirkland, went to the Costco, tried the lake next door, but failed to find entrance and didn't want to pay for discover pass when found
-Finally found Juanita Beach on Lake washington- swam, relaxed and had fun, guys hated hot beer
-Got minoxidil at Costco, walked back from PS's place with dried clothes on
-Relaxed rest of the day, had leftovers that-dat tarkari before Boston trip

Tofu-cheese lunch sandwich, Library book, office's trip fail [Fri 19]

 -Lunch of tofu, cheese veggies on ezekiel bread
-Went to office in the day, borrowed 'the creative act' book from the library, their computers aren't online yet
-In the evening designed my 'spice fridge' plans
-Concert outside, loud annoying and crowded
-Tj's trip in the evening for a massive hike next day, spent lots of money

Hearty meal, office walk, concert-draw, friend dance [Thu 18]

cooking dal bhat tarkari. office, work review, dance party at park, hangout with friend, skipped dinner, brought in posts from my kindle, super caught up, timely sleep, lunch and dinner plans

-Dal-bhattarkari and fried eggs for lunch
-audiobooks on my headphones, walk to the office
-thursday evening park concert, went with kindle and drew the scenery, pretty proud
-friend A. P came too, watched my bags as I danced at the mosh pit
-plans for a big theirs. event 2 weeks out made
-couple of rounds of the park and walk home together
-Tennis class plans

Decent work, sandwich for lunch, new headphone and audiobook during volunteer walk, timely sleep! [Wed 17]

tofu tomato and cheese sandwich for lunch, light dinner of yogurt, all caught up on writing, feeling good about work, nice long volunteer park walk and audiobooks again, new headphone, sleeping on time

Writing this the next day. This month has been 'caught up' (ugh) and now everything else will be written in the kindle.

This day was a great day. I finished something interesting at work and was in high spirits. For lunch I made a classic tofu, tomato and cheese sandwich for lunch. Usually do it for dinner but I didn't feel like doing much else.

During the day I wrote for a few hours. It was good, I was finally caught up on all the 'thought posts' as well as journals. Didn't nap for as long as other days, a big progress for me.

Received the new headphones I'd ordered at costco. The downside is it's kinda big and heavy, and hurts my ears like all over-ear headphones do. The upside is it's great, can be customized to my ears, and has incredible noise cancellation features. This was my first modern headphone. I've missed so much on modern technology. I should have used this all this time.

With the new headphone on I went on a nice long walk to Volunteer park. Listened to audiobooks on the way as well as peep show episode.

Back home I had yogurt for dinner, not much because it was so hot. Felt slightly hungry at bedtime but it was fine.

I went to bed and slept at about the 'correct' bed time. That meant my sleep cycle was almost fixed. I do need to eat better, but otherwise we're getting good with sleep!

Booze

Originally written in my Scribe in NYC.

Ooof.
My head hurts,
My memory is gone,
My heart has gone mad
And my body
Just needs some...rest.
It was a bad idea
and it'll forever be the biggest mistake of human( or ape?) ingenuity.
Fuck.
Booze.

God dammit Amtrak You naughty dirty dawg

Originally written in my Scribe in NYC.

Amtrak You know I love thee why must you then screw me?
You charged me seventy bucks For the ticket to the wedding
Even though regularly the seats Go for thirty-and three,
I was sad but not overly so.
That is, until I had to buy Tickets the next day
On the sly
And I'm Shamed to say the amount I did pay,
which is english, surely,
But not for me,
A whole fifty extra percent moneys than the original amount.
Why why why,
the laws are too tight
0h We shall see.

After day 1 of the wedding. It went exactly as was expected,

Originally written in my Scribe in NYC.

In a good way, possibly,
Old connections were rekindled,
Friends connected again
The bride and the groom looking radiant-as always,
And our little band of Hardworking organizers, artists, creatives Oh and me.
My friend Li was there too,
From so far away,
And ribbing and poking was done like the good old days...
Food was peck-and-choose
A bit heavy on the cheeses
The crowd demanded more desserts
But hey the free bar made it all the way.
After party at a local dance, I shoulda mingled
We headed to our strange abode early on
But thank god because rest was had
For the ride to the City and Back,
the next morning.

Living Large in the Big Apple

Originally written in my Scribe in NYC.

Complaints aside,
My friend 8K, who gets mentioned in these pages, Is living quite the life in Nuuh Yawwk Cityy,
He's got a modern building, doorman and all
The living and bedrooms are quite spacious
He has to comfy balconies and so many closets...
The location happens
To be in the middle of the action,
People, food and Shopping.
Only the kitchen remains a bit kludgy,
One set of small utensils and appliances And a whole lot of community. hopefully.

To Be New York young

Originally written in my Scribe in NYC.

If I was just but twenty-three,
Unsure of what kinda person I wanted to be,
oh the New York would be the city for me
Oh the lights and sounds,
Oh the people all around!

The foods, the goods, the arts and the festival
Metro North to Coney Island, celebrities great & terrible
Somehow I could acquire, a large group of friends too
Who loved the city and its vibes, who could never leave
I'd be a different person then, that is for sure
And where that life might have led, who even knows? 

I am a good bit over that age now
And I must say, have a good know of the self.
Not like 'a lost sheep looking to join a herd,
but yes they do have all sorts of herds here,
the price of the grazing fields ok so high!
It's a fun place to visit.
But just as fun to be... be?
I think not.

Oh Albany, how much I dont like Ye

Originally written in my Scribe in NYC.

I have chosen
A multi-hour, late night travel.
Waits at sketchy stations and the possibility of
new unexpected situations,
Oh so much time, money and energy wasted, Albany,
Just so I may
Avoid
staying at a place near you!
If they made you the
Premiere city of New York State, Methinks surely it mustal been
to keep all the immigrants, cool people, away, that's how dross and dull you are!
So much effort for seemingly so little. Has
My situation becomes
a good description
of you tool

An F- You to the NY Metro system

Originally written in my Scribe in NYC.

Bro,
You were supposed to have your skit together, Be convenient, time, and quick-
All these times it didn't matter You excelled in those factors
Until I was certain I could put all my faith into you
Even for times when I should 'known better. The airport shuttle oh-so timely, so very quick I was impressed and in awe of the world-class System of public transport
Until the one time
When it was crucial for me to be on time
And I gave myself a 20-minute buffer Of course it'd be perfect, I thought!
Oh but not to be so,
The system broke,
The vehicle stalled
And I was fucked.
Even an expensive when ride was of
no help.
Pity.
What. A. Pity.

Moving to new York

Originally written in my Scribe in NYC.

I've considered and thought,
Planned and connived in the past On whether moving to NYC is a good idea Three days into my stay here, living the life I intend to have eventually,
here is the report:
I might move eventually, maybe next year If I become a rich man, a wealthy person Richer in friends and social company than in physical riches...
But otherwise it is a tough call
I tell you why-
It's busy busy busy, teeming with people And you feel a sense of comfort In knowing you're covered
But it's a lie
They live their own adventures
And if I were a brave man, a social man, A climber of any kind,
Maybe, perhaps.
But.
To move to just only get enough Hits at finding the right person
Is oh so silly.

I stopped writing, it'd fine

Originally written in my Scribe in NYC.

I write this from 42ⁿᵈ St. Amtrak station. First, the metro failed me. Then I got in an Uber. There was hope of reach when I checked online. They said the train had. been delayed. At the station they said the online system was a freaking liar. The next train departs 70 minutes after the originally scheduled one, and arrives 80 minutes later. It's train maths.

The only consolation is that I'd have arrived at the destination an hour early. Now I get there 45 mins into the party. IF goes on for 3 hours but I must depart one hour into my entrance because such is life. A life without cars in these parts is hell.

Oh yeah. Lots of writing is left pending. what can I say, I'm having a pretty decent time. This 2- her train ride will get us more writing than anything over the past 2 weeks.

NYC Part Deux

Originally written in my Scribe in NYC.

I've spent innumerable words on the city. 'I find myself here once again, for a week. The primary objective is to attend the wedding of N K( from college) but ideally we want to have fun on the side. It appears that SST and I won't be able to align timelines. We will have to plan for that. My 'gag', so to speak, for the term is thin and dare I say... homely.

This is also an exploration trip. Would it be worth living here? Without at least one roommate, it will be challenging. Ideally a better-paid job would simplify the transition incredibly.

Besides that? I've been here 24 hours and walked a few hours already. Love that about the place The food has been decent and the options are famously incomparable. This puts me in a bind. if I'm here for the socialization and partying, and that is THE cause to be here, how will I manage my walks and chill hobbies. NYC has a place for everybody but will I find my people at all? What happens if we get into a regular habit and stopped exploring? This is a place for explorers surely. What a missed opportunity that'd be!

Fears galore but this has been a unique experience- relaxed and laid-back, unfearful of missing out on anything. Whether that is an ideal situation time will tell.

One thing is for certain-there is no better place to find a partner, as potential leads. That would be true
globally for my type. It's tricky, but here's hoping things get figured out!

What is it about Amtrak and writing?

Originally written in my Scribe in NYC.

I like to write, physically and type- Specially when I'm on an Amtrak train.
What is it about those coaches so great That the desire overwhelms me to create
Is it the comfy seats extra wide.
Reminding me not to waste time on random website, Or perhaps somewhat of a premium feel Thanks to high ticket prices, the availability of onboard meal?
Perhaps it is the thing, with all the delay and cancellations and misses That provokes me to write my thoughts out Into words
Or maybe, somehow, strangely enough, These rides happen to happen at time of change and consideration?
Maybe. Maybe.

The plan to 'recover posts' for June, and the need to get the fuck away from the computer

 I said it in the previous post, I'll say it again: this website is getting far too much of my attention. It's a distraction from the real issues at hand. It's not like I don't have anything else to do. I need to be expanding socially, professionally, romantically. Yet I convince myself this is what maters.

There are 25 posts in here that have been titled but not yet written on. This is the plan now: not on this computer. I'll write the posts on my kindle, no way to be distracted. I can go to the park, to the par, to the coffee shop, whatever. Just don't stay at home. It's miserable. I'm imprisoning myself out of an amazing life. I deserve better.

It's likely that the obsession with this journal/blog is holding personal growth back

I've alluded to this in the past posts. I'll keep it short.

To write here at the 'cost' of my meditation, walks or proper social hygiene is insane. There is no point. Doing 'recovery' posts of days far gone by is insane, specially when I'm not even writing. I write for 20 minutes, but spend 4 hours 'preparing' to write. This is awful for my social health, my mental health, my eyes, and the direction of my life.

What I'm saying is this: the obsession with this blog is holding my personal life back. I'm focusing so much on 'having my shit together' here that I don't live. And it's not about this blog, it's just an excuse. I could do cellphone posts, or voice notes, or write from my phone if I wanted to. I don't do those because writing in here is just an excuse. An escape from reality and the responsibilities of life. I don't want to put myself out of the comfort zone, and this has been the perfect escape.

No more. This blog can eat shit for all I care if it comes at a cost of everything else. I'll timebox it to strictly an hour of my daily time from hereon. If I exceed that, well tough luck buddy, better luck next time! I cannot be missing my walks and social hangs to waste time on 'here' but actually trash sites.

I need to be brave enough to grow up and have the self-restraint to not be distracted by the internet.

Oppressive summer is here, thank god for mild and short Seattle weather!

This is not just an excuse justifying all the daytime naps and lack of proper walks. Unfortunately. The last week or two have been oppressively hot, for Seattle. It's hard to go out on daytime walks, or stay in without a fan. Mornings are crisp and perfect, but the afternoons are hell's ovens. I'm so done with the summer here. Give us the gloom and the rain again!

The good news is Seattle summer is probably coming to end already. In a week or two we should have daytime highs moderate to more tolerable levels. No more daytime naps, no more excuses to not write or do anything productive. I appreciate how mild and short the summers here are. As always, Seattle's weather is the best!

Actually internet service and hi-res video is great for some people, but not my family, in Nepal

Random observation here. I was videochatting a friend in Nepal last night when I realized something. Their video quality is absolutely top notch, the video is not glitching out, there's no voice issues, and it felt like we were looking at HD videos of each other. It was quite confusing because that never happens when I talk to my family in Nepal. There's always interruption, always some sort of disruption in video or voice at some point.

It's clear that it's the family home internet that's crappy and not Nepal's internet or systems in general. I need to inform my parents of this situation. It's not 2011 anymore. That's the level of connection in chat apps we have with home, ack!

Top ten things I like about New York City

1.  The wild diversity in everything, including people, food, and the kinds of choices people make
   
   
2. Their freaking public transport system is amazing!
   
   
3. Restaurants are open 24/7, and there's always a decently-priced nearby place open!
   
   
4. The opportunity to socialize and meet new people is incomparable to anywhere else in the country, possibly the world!
   
   
5. There is more decently-priced amazing food than anywhere else in the country, and it really is one of the more affordable world-class cities to eat out
   
   
6. They still have 'legit' grocery stores that are quite decently priced so you can cook and invite people and have a 'regular person' city life, almost ignoring you're in the cultural capital of everywhere.
   
   
7. Opportunity to walk is incredible, you can get everywhere by foot, so many public parks and the like!
   
   
8. If you get lucky and/or are willing to make some compromises, there are still places that are not absurdly outrageously priced that can be lived in and potentially even bought!
   
   
9. My Tufts group is quite large there still, and there's a decent contingency of Nepalis that I know or am aware of, so I could potentially quickly expand my circle
   
   
10.  Amazing opportunities for writing, comedy, drawing any creative hobby one might be interested in exploring
    

Wherein I just moan about a bunch of things

This will be quick. It's a bit petty and not a great look. The good news is the folks concerned replied to my messages and told me their situation. I guess were were/are fine. It won't matter going forward. Somehow I'd just been told the details the night before. It wasn't a surprise or anything. One does get confused how things work. How is it that people who have nothing on their horizon four short months ago, have made a long lasting decision that cannot be backed out of. Oh well. Guess when people consider the timelines running out, urgent decisions are made. I had advised people to take their time and not rush things. Perhaps they got lucky, as always, and had to make no compromises. One would only wish all the best for all the parties concerned in making any sort of long lasting decisions.

Bitterness is not a good look on anybody, least of all me, so lets get over with it please.

Goddamit, Prime day got me second year in a row

 It's prime day again, and yet again I spent $200 bucks worth on items I don't need. Well...I'd eventually get around to buying them, but didn't need them right away anyway.

I bought four pairs of shoes, for less than what I paid for one pair in NYC. That makes me feel okay because the prices average down to decent now. Besides I was running out on decent shoes.I got pacific foods soup, which I've never tried but heard really good things about. I got the 'zero ice' drinks, it's so fucking hot, and I need the bottles for my chhyang. I also got decently priced glad trash bags with strings because the crappy kroger brand bags I got don't have the drawstrings and that's such a pain. Finally I got some prophylactics because one is running low on those and it's always a good idea to have some on hand.

It's not that I don't need them. I could have gone without them, but would have to buy eventually. That I can get it all in one amazon order means I can consolidate the expenses. I am thinking of holding back on the wallet for a while. The last few months have been spendy as well. Perhaps it's the heavens reminding me I need to rein in the wild horse.

Trip to Auburn to see family, playing with the cutest nieces [Tue 16]

 rice beans eggs tofuu kimchi for brunch, buying goodies at tous le jours, trip to meet far-flung family, meeting with little nieces, long and boring busride back, so much puri tarkari, dinner is skipped, late to bed due to talking to people, I really need to get my crap together

I'm writing this the day after, that's the good news. The bad news is the discovery that I've overcommitted to this fucking blog. We'll be discussing that in later posts.

I had rice, beans, eggs, tofu and kimchi for brunch. All the yummy carbs, with the protein and fiber to go along!

After work I headed out to Kent. Bought a bunch of tous le jours pastries for the kids. Took the Sounder and waited for 20 minutes, they picked me up. I had puri tarkari there, and paid with the two most adorable nieces in the world. My aunt/cousin got the most amazing deal on the house there, the property gained 30% value right on purchase. Man what a scam real estate is to people who aren't bought in.

The busride back was on 578, it was long boring and depressing. Took the train home, and skipped dinner. Spent 3 hours avoiding writing, and wrote like 5 posts at the very end of the day. Didn't walk at all.

Talked to a good friend before going to sleep, which is why bedtime was delayed.

I need to get my shit together. This locking myself in the house, not connecting to anybody and just pretending to write is doing me no good. I'd rather I never wrote on this blog again than not have the life I should be having.

Drawing class, I don't do much else besides blog [Mon 15]

 rice and beans for dinner, scrounging for food, popcorns for dinner, art class, so much writing, not a lot of walking, need to meditate and unload the blog and pc realized

Had rice and beans for lunch, and leftover foods and popcorn for dinner.

Went to art class at noon. Wrote an effing tonne of posts on this blog in the evening. Didn't walk much at all.

Realized the importance of meditating and being one at myself, and actually writing all the time here, and being just attached to this computer is doing me great harm. Fuck computers, fuck software. If I'm in here despite 'boycotting' instagram, what's the point really. I'm replacing one useless vice with other equally pointless vice. I'd honestly just rather be on instagram than be on scmp, no?

Trader Joe's trip and the park, and the need to actually live my life [Sun 14]

 eggs kimchi and oats for lunch, trader joe's trip, sandwich dinner with tofy, volunteer park walk, lots of writing, I still haven't properly socialized and settled down

I write this three days later, finally glad I'm 'caught up'. I've decided to not 'make up' for the missing 25 posts from last months because "shrug". I might too, but I don't like how this blog has been all-consuming. The fact that I must be in front of the computer forever is something I really quite despise about the whole thing. Back to scheduled programming.

Had eggs, kimchi, and oats for lunch. I've been eating eggs with kimchi for breakfast because you need protein with your carbs to reduce the intake, it turns out. My fruit and oats is great for cholesterol, but not so much for diabetes, I'm told.

Went to Trader Joe's in the morning and brought in a pretty big haul. Went there almost right after the store opened, which I'm proud of. Somehow I'm turning into a morning guy for weekends. I love it. This is the person I aspire to become!

Had sandwich dinner with Tofu in the evening, and kept writing a lot lot lot. Went on Volunteer park walk late at night, saw astronomy people watching the stars on their telescopes.

I haven't met anybody or socialized much by this point in Seattle, something I really should have done. But I needed my time and space, and specially wanted to write down all of my discoveries and realizations.

That doesn't make sense much. I should live more so I can write more. If there's no life, the writing is insubstantial. Ugh.

Morning walk to the park, sadheko chauchau, family and friends convo [Sat 13]

 sadheko chauchau for lunch, final round of leftovers for dinner, easy and fun volunteer park walk, long conversations with friends and family, more writing for the blog

Lunch was sadeko chauchau, and you know what it was shockingly good. I'm proud how good it was, must remember to make it more often specially in the summer.

Went out to walk early in the morning at 9.30 or 10, because can't do daytime walks anymore. The heat, oh the heat! Finally it's ending in Seattle but still. Talked to friends and family over long phone calls while in my walk.

Napped in the afternoon, and had the final leftover dinner in the evening.

Wrote a bunch more in this blog at night. I'm using this blog as a tool to escape my responsibilities, and just waste my time. Need to stop doing that. More on that later.

Oppressive heat undoes personal growth! [Fri 12]

 oats tea and biscuit for lunch, lots of writing, lowkey dinner because of the oppressive heat!

Lunch was oats with fruits and everything else, with tea and biscuit. I wrote so much, and slept so much. I should really get my sleep cycle in order because it's taking a lot of time. I'm having trouble focusing, and doing things I like. It's a terrible waste of time. I gotta sleep in the evenings!

The dinner was just yogurt and fruits because I didn't want to cook or eat anything too hot or warm. The heat is really...something, huh?

Lots of naps and writings, boring day [Thu 11]

 beans and grains for lunch, volunteer park walk, more leftover meals, I'm getting in my regular schedule, writing out all the topics to write in this blog

The boring days have begun. I should really 'get a life', and do things that don't involve staying in the apartment for 99% of the day every day.

Had beans and grains for lunch, all spiced up and yummy for lunch. Walked to Volunteer park in the evening. Had leftover buckwheat and tarkari for dinner.

Wrote more topics and titles for this blog, slept a lot, and finally settled into my daily routine.

Settling down, jotting down philosophical self-discoveries [Wed 10]

 roti tarkari lunch, bhat-tarkari dinner, I recover from my trip, write a lot and rest a lot, feeling at home and starting to forget my realizations and understanding about myself

After so many days of fun NYC posts, these Seattle based personal posts are going to be a chore to write. Not much happens in my life. I should really really put myself out there. Even if that means the end of this blog, so be it. This blog is not the life of me. Seriously. I have upcoming posts discussing exactly that.

I had roti tarkari for lunch. The entire day was me recovering from the trip. Wrote a bunch of post titles, and slept so much. Lunch was roti tarkari, and dinner was grains and tarkari, the leftover frozen ones.

I'd need to write my philosophical observations and understandings about life from NYC quickly or I'd forget them!

Meeting a dear old friend, flight to Boston [Tue 9]

vacation day, packing up and meeting friend ST, hang out at MUD cafe, at st's place and discovering the amazing deal, quick to the airport, but shuttle is slow, unremarkable journey except 2nd flight is without tv, back to Seattle, thank god for frozen leftovers!

The day of my return to Seattle! I write this a week later, and unfortunately all the cool exciting shit that happened is over. I'll mostly write about staying in, my meals, and going on walks for the next many posts. What a simple and not very explorative life it is. On the plus side, super duper quick to write, right? Hah!

I packed up, said farewell to SK, and walked to Mud cafe. Met ST, said hi to  her bub there. The two of us spent like 2 hours eating and chatting. Ok food, awful service, not-great prices. We then walked to her place, where I saw the most amazing apartment in the city and unbelievable prices. It was incredible. We kept chatting and chatting and I didn't want to leave! But leave i had to! ST walked me to the train, and in 50 minutes I was at the airport. The airport shuttle takes confusingly long to get to the terminals, for unclear reasons.

Lined up with United for ticketing, security was quick. First flight had me laugh out loud at Curb episodes, amazing. Second flight gates were weird and tiny ones in Chicago, and the plane had no screen. Just so awful.

Got back to Seattle at decent time, train to home, and got leftovers for dinner. So yum, so relaxing, I was back on!

Failures in laundry, exploring Queens' Nepali nightlife [Mon 8]

 need to wash, machine's broken!, yuck chinese food in east village, morning and evening walks, Queens trip in the evening, kasthamandap restaurant and tipsy mandala, finding 24-hr places to do laundry, fun times were had!, decent meals

Some of my clothes were dirty because of the 'puke' situation, but the laundry machines in SK's building were broken. By the time I got my bearings, I discovered there was no 24-hour cleaning solution nearby. What a loss!

We had yucky chinese food in East village, some A&C place. One of the more awful places ever. I went on morning and evening walks with SK, which upped my mood from the day before. Also ED called me and I felt even better about the whole world!

It was my last night in NYC! In the evening SK and I got dinner at Kasthamandap restaurant in Queens (after trying two other places, that didn't serve dinner). Decent food but massively overpriced for what it was. Soon enough his cousin joined us. We went to Tipsy Mandala bar next, and chatted the night away. I didn't drink anything. There's so many 24-hour laundromats here, that annoyed me. Not where I needed!

Got home pretty late at night, but that didn't matter as I'd be sleeping in. The next day was my day off!

A sick trainride back to NYC, recovering from the hangover [Sun 7]

waking up to filth, super duper hung over, walk to the train station from the house without a phone, expensive amtrak tickets, so tired and lacking in energy, simple rice and potatoes for lunch, can't go out because of low energy, skipping the walks, yucky 'sandwich and fries dinner', slow recovery

I don't even want to write about this. That's how awful and gross I felt at the time.

Apparently I'd puked on myself and didn't notice until I was told. I cleaned up myself, my friends left me, and I walked all the way to the trains station with dirty clothes on my hands. There I changed into cleaner clothes and just suffered through one of the most awful hangovers of my life. The walk was a wild one too, 45 minutes with no phone and directions based on random people telling me where to go. I got the last ticket to NYC,  which was expensive as fuck, but whatever.

The trainride was just me trying to recover, cursing the fucking booze and regretting every choice I'd made the night before.

Back home at SK's I napped, had simple rice and potatoes for lunch. I skipped the walks he went on and spent the day watching tv. In the end we headed out to go to a bar, but I needed to eat, and got the worst 'sandwich and fries' dinner from this med place I've written about before. It was the effing worse, I threw out the fries. I couldn't go out because of energy levels, so we just watched tv.

The wedding reception, spiritual connections with all, and passing out on booze [Sat 6]

To new york and back to Hudson NY in a couple of hours, hella pricey, early to wedding and hang at the brewery, outdoor wedding, fun amazing indoor reception, connecting with the old gang, drinks and dance, I lose sense, start getting increasingly annoying and weird as the night goes on

Got up early in the morning and took the train back to NYC. Showered, changed and felt good, and then took the next train back to Hudson. It was hella expensive, but this is what you get when you don't plan well. I must have had something to eat at SK's, but I don't remember. I think it was rice and some sort of veggie, possibly chicken. I was in a rush and oh so hungry.

I got to the wedding far too early, so spent an hour or so at the nearby brewery, Then I went to the wrong building, eventually made my way to the outdoor location. The wedding was the most amazing thing ever, part greek and park indian ceremony. There was music by one of our college friends, and people were crying at everything.

We walked across the street for the reception. It was a wild affair. I drank. They had welcome drinks that I couldn't say no to. It was a big mistake. In any case, I danced, I broke the plates in Greek tradition, and made the organizers feel great about themselves. We took photos in the instant camera photo booth, and had amazing Indian food and desserts. I drank far far too much.

As I've written in all the past posts, I connected with people in a way I had never done before. It's not clear if it was the drinks or life, but good vibes were had. Man, also friend JW is soo cool. Yeah. That's it.

In any case, I had so much fun all night, I got annoying and political as the night progressed. I forgot the rest of the night, and don't know how I ended up in the bed-couch of mine.

Shoe-finding issues, and the first amazing day of the wedding [Fri 5]

first day of the wedding, Lhasa restaurant for lunch momo and shafale, I walk around in  downtown and fail to find good shoes, expensive shoes for the wedding, slow trains screws my plans up, a failed uber ride, awaiting the next train at union station, the wedding!, meeting friends and catching up, crashing at the latenight couch in Hudson NY, meeting friends from all over the world for the wedding!

It was the beginning of the wedding festivities!

In the morning I went out in search for a good shoe for the wedding. I went to Lhasa restaurant in East village and got momo and safale there. Just mid, better food could be had in Queens for cheaper. Then I walked to Downtown in search for good shoe stores. Marshall's didn't have any shoes my sizes. The next 3 stores were there just to 'trade' sneakers, which drove me insane. This entire fucking city didn't have one fucking place to buy decent shoes. Anyway, I got a super expensive pair at camper's and walked to SK's place. It was hot as fuck.

I got ready and headed to the station just in time. Except apparently the train system was having issues and the train wouldn't move for 15 minutes. I'd miss my Amtrak if that continued. So I bailed out on that, and ordered an uber instead. I coulda rushed the guy, but didn't because online they said the trains had been delayed. Well it turns out the trains hadn't been delayed and if I'd hurried I coulda made the train. Anyway, i chilled and relaxed at the waiting room, and got the tickets to the following train.

I reached Hudson NY and walked for like 3 minutes to the location of the wedding! It was amazing to catch up with my college friends, and their partners. I didn't drink, but I did tease a bunch of my friends. Everybody's doing such exciting stuff.

I got together with my old gang, and at the end of the night all of us went to a bar for after-party. My ground was boring and we didn't party much, so we took an online taxi back. The bengali driver was very excited to meet me, and so very chatty.

I crashed the night at their place. Felt yucky, but better than going to NYC in overnight vehicles!

The most relaxed and chill July 4th celebrations, lots of walks [Thu 4]

The chillest July 4 in the City, Long walk in the morning to Greenwich village and beyond, exploring wegman's in the city, washington Square park, McD's snacks and stuff for dinner, rice and veggies for lunch

This was the day of July 4th! Oh what a contrast this day was with the evening from exactly a decade ago! Because Sk's doggo M is terrified of loud noises, we couldn't be out and about. He would need to be there to support her. As I'm not a party fiend, I understood. I had to go to a wedding the next day, there wasn't enough time to be too busy anyway.

In the morning we went on a long walk to Greenwich Village, washington square park, visited wegmans (!!!), and just chilled. We had mcd's snacks and burgers for lunch, and rice and veggies for dinner.

We smoked up a bit during the day, and watched tv (the movie 'srikanth') and just relaxed. There was no rush, we were adults. Being in the company of one's beloved people and beings is what matters, and we did that!

Hangout in Brooklyn with weird dude, first fun Bollywood night by Times Square! [Wed 3]

Flying to NYC, worst weed ever, NYC could be lived in! [Tue 2]

 Up super duper early, two buses and a train to the airport, wee hours at S. Jackson, good movies but bad ticketing policy for United, NYC arrival, roosevelt ave momos, public transport in the city, bus too, getting to my friend's, walk around town and tompkins square park,  hang with Sk and his cousin, tv, the worst heart-hurting weed chocolates in the world

Writing this 2 weeks later to the day, but this day was memorable so I remember all the details. Oh my, how fast time passes!

Got up super duper early for the flight. Got ready and had a solid breakfast. I'm proud I'd set up the meal the night before, and was already for success.

Took two buses and a train to the airport. I had to wait for 20 minutes at a sketchy intersection in S. Jackson and saw wild things, but ah well. At the airport security was quick, but ticketing was confusing. United airlines won't let you check online for basic economy ticket, so I had to use the machines for no good reason. My review of United is this: they have really good quality entertainment on their flights, but their ticketing policy for lower level class is whack and I'll just avoid them in the future.

Saw lots of great shows and reached NYC. Ordered momos at a shop outside the station from within the flight. The shuttle bus was the best I've ever taken. It took me straight to the heart of Jackson heights. I picked up the momos there, four other people from my shuttle went in the restaurant too. Took 2 trains and a bus to SK's place, and realized NYC is actually a lot more livable than I give it credit for. They have wegmans and trader joe's for god's sake!

Chilled for a while at sk's place. In the evening we walked over to tompkins square park, union square park, and just chilled.

Later in the evening SK's cousin came in, we talked, watched tv, had our momos, and got the worse head-hurting weed chocolate in the world. Both sk's cousin and I complained about it! It was a fun night in, and I'm thankful of the great place I found myself at.

Packing up for the NYC trip [Mon 1]

oats and kimchi with fried eggs for lunch,art class, house is cleaned, rounds of lanundry done, all set for the trip!, leftovers ready for the next morning

Writing this 2 weeks after this day, so some of the details maybe fuzzy.

This was the day I prepared for my trip to NYC. I had oats with kimchi and fried eggs for lunch. Went to the art class and didn't do great, felt kinda meh. Cleaned up the whole house and did like three rounds of laundry, because one of the drying machines was broken. Consolidated my leftovers and froze everything good in the fridge. In the evening I packed up properly, all documents and needed equipment in order, and I was ready to head out to Nooh Yawk Citayyy.

Just questions, bunch of them

Ohh shit!
What, when, how?
How come?
Goddamit, for reals?
Shit that makes it complicated no?
I mean, there was nothing in there, but anyway?
But of course, that was a done deal?
Still, is it weird I'm concerned?
Is there something I can do to speed this up?
Where can I find out more?
Do I want to find out more?
This was funny at first, no?
All the time, together?
Since when?
With whom?
For how long?
Is it possible?
Alright?
Is that right?
Are you sure?
I'm not sure?
I don't know?
Why is it so late?
Or is it early?
Okay fine.

Thinking about hosteling it to portland or NOLA or somewhere, just for fun

 Yes, I understand it sounds bizarre and strange as it's literally only been a week (yikes, a week already! and all this time all I've done is write here or avoid trying to do so!) since I got back from New York. Which was supposed to have been a bit of a holiday.

But no, I want to go somewhere all by myself. A tourist hostel ideally. I'm thinking Portland OR because it's not crazy expensive, to live, or to get there. And the weather is basically all Seattle. I'd go for a week or so. Take my laptop and everything. Do my job in the morning, and get out in the afternoons. Roam around the town, explore interesting neighborhoods. I'd cook my own food of course. Go to the nearby Trader Joe's to get the supplies. I'd cook for my 'friends' at the hostel.

What do you do man, they'd ask me. Oh me, I'd say, with a hint of shyness, I'm a grad student at UW, and doing a summer internship. I want to explore divinity school. They'd love me! So many friends!

New glasses and other stuff coming in from Nepal!

 I'm finally getting tinted shades, and other cool prescription classes from Nepal. Dad's spent hella lotta money on those, and I'll feel bad if I don't make the full use of them. So I'm excited about that!

That's not all! I'm also eager to receive gundruk, sinki, maseura, jaaiphal, and a bunch of other knicknacks that are coming with one of my uncles.

It's their second trip in less than 12 months, man, they're having all the fun!

The need to change the daily lifestyle of right now

These are the realizations I have had after coming back from NYC and seeing how other people live. These sorts of understandings are always the same every time I'm back in Seattle. I'll list them out because I'm in a bit of a rush, as I haven't written anything in days. There's already a big backlog as it is!

1. Need to date more, in a more relaxed and low-stress environment, uncaring about the future consequences, implications, or situations on how the relationship might evolve into.
   
   
2. Use my fucking computer a lot less. As in I pretend it's for writing on my blog, but it almost never is. I'd rather, at this point, not use my computer or my phone if that means I won't waste my time, and not write on this blog, than do otherwise. In other words, I value my sanity and digital hygiene more than this blog. Writing matters, but in different way.
   
   
3. Need to get out of my fucking apartment more. It can be the park, it can be Portland, or it can be the coffee shop next door. Either way, I spend way more time in my place than is healthy.
   
   
4. Be more healthy, walk more casually, be more outdoorsy. Just casually stroll, hang and enjoy my surroundings. No '10k steps and thats it' lifestyle. If blogging needs to be compromised, to be it! I don't care!
   
   
5. Make myself get out of comfort zone a lot more. I've been doing that increasingly in recent times, but there's still so many boundaries and blockers. I gotta swim, I gotta win, I just gotta flyyy.
   
   
6. Be more accepting of myself, with the concept of 'casual dating' in that I don't need to be the best version of myself before getting somewhere. I can be a work in progress and still make it. There's so many disgusting losers who put themselves out there without a tenth of adulting as me, it's not hard.
   
   
7.  Not be lazy, not just fall to the bed and read up on china and the rest. Just do it. Fuck adhd, it's just me and my body, and I need to befriend it.

The two (or three) major projects ahead of me

I need to be prioritizing on the big picture. It's easy to get distracted. Confusion on what's important and  and what seems super urgent immediately can waylay the best plans. Here's what I'm prioritizing 'long term' for the next several months, and the few years.

1. Either get so good at my current job that they give me a raise and a promotion and I don't feel guilty and bored. Or find a different job that I've been scheming over for the last six months that'll triple or quadruple my salary and get me to a job vertical that is more aligned to my interests.
   
   
2. Make sure my sister has a decent long-term job, and is safely and securely settled down wherever in the world she finds a suitable place. Do everything in my ability to empower her to get to that place.
   
   
3. Be more comfortable taking risks and getting out of my comfort zone. Use that to improve my understanding of the world better, and improve my perception and ability to digest the risk-reward calculus. Be more certain about what it is that I want to explore, fearlessly and with no qualms.
   
   
4. Find a partner I care for, I can trust, and can count on being by my side for the medium to long term. Ideate a platforms and places where I might find such a person, and what it would take me to get there.

The importance of meditation in one's life

Fucking bullshit. I wrote like a thousand words on why meditation is so important to me, why it grounds me and helps me see the world better, and it's gone. All fucking gone. I'm malding.

No I'm kidding. It wasn't that deep. I was just saying how meditation helps me clear out the distractions of everyday life, and focus on what is important for the long term, or what I want to focus on. It's a way to steal time from the lazy me, the timewasting me, into the productive and driven self.

That's what it was. It wasn't too deep or anything. We're fine.

 

I need to be cooking when traveling, realization of a dependent person

The poor eating experience in NYC made me realize something. I need to be cooking wherever I am at. I enjoy cooking, and like my own cooking. If I cook for my hosts, it makes them happy too. Cooking is always cheaper than eating out, even in the worst possible combo of prices. I was at the culinary center of the Universe, and missed home-cooked foods.

It would be quite easy to go to a nearby grocery store. Trader Joe's and the likes are everywhere. For a $20 or so that it costs for a meal, I could feed myself and hosts for three meals. Frozen meals from there are much better than trash food at a restaurant. Sandwiches are 100% better when I make them.

I realized this when I was writing the post about getting properly unpacked to my travel destinations. To feel at home, I need to be comfy in terms of 'storage' and eating. If I buy tj's groceries (the hosts feel thankful) and pack/unpack properly (the hosts don't feel like hosting a refugee camp), I feel right at home, and am doing favor to other people. The money-saving and flavor is an additional benefit.

I should explore more of this in the future. Cooking for three is not that much harder than cooking for one, it's not like I'll be wasting time either...

This is definitely way more of a journal than a blog now, so what?

This is 95% journal at this point. I can't pretend of having a blog anymore. Until quite recently I was able to say I have a blog and some journal posts in it. Now it's all journal posts. Fiction is rare, and 'fun writing' even rarer. Is that bad? I hope not! This blog has fucked up my writing practice. That is not because I write a lot. I have nobody to give feedback on what I've written. A practice without a guru is like a journey without a map. It was quite clear I'd get lost in this glorious travel. But now I have a teacher. Somebody who points me to the right way, who tells me where the monsters are. That's a great fix.

I'm thinking of shaping our sessions into more of a writing class than essay production. Tonnes of writing practices and limitations will help me tighten up my thoughts. Freewriting is the worst-way to trigger creativity.

Good things are coming to my writing practice!

I bought a nice expensive headphone on Costco

I bought the most expensive headphone that I got for myself. It's a hundred bucks plus taxes, but the battery lasts for a really long time. It will make my walks better. There's an option to allow human and car noises to make through despite the 'noise cancelling' feature. Summers are rough in my place with the heat and the noise. If I get the headphone I'll always be on brown noise. That will allow me to open my windows. Supposedly it has a sixty-hour battery life, and can get me 3 hours in 5 minutes. The 'newest' listening device I have is...quite shit. This will finally make my purchases to the modern world. I'm excited. While this is 'over-the-ear', I don't mind it.

Nice catchup at the wedding, you!

I got it wrong,
it felt like
there was this connection
where you beckoned
and maybe you did
but not in the way
I had imagined.

Either way, we talked
and we did connect
oh the middle-class, I blathered
so quick and hard
to make more and more money
and you nodded,
yes siree, I agree,
you said, finding yourself
in the same place in life.
What about your job i asked,
oh nothing much, you said
except for the person
I did end,
and my heart did drop,
i won't lie,
but talking after so long,
and your observation
that I was not in the same town
made me realize
maybe you too are not right
with personal security
in the same way
that I am?

And it's going to be tough
Left and right, sides of the country
but moving East is ever a possibility
you are a hard worker and oh so driven
and I'm just...around
but now that I'm fully-cooked
and realized I'm a person too,
one feels there are some things
to be explored
between me and you.
And obviously,
there is a point of connection
thankfully.

I will not count on it,
but it wouldn't be a surprise.

Thirteen things I want to do by the end of the year

1. Learn to dance
   
   
2. Learn to swim
   
   
3. Finish 15 books
   
   
4. Be more motivated in job search
   
   
5. Complete my website work
   
   
6. Produce 4 well-written 'personal' essays
   
   
7. Date, a lot more
   
   
8. Have fun traveling in 'vacation mode'
   
   
9. Cook more
   
   
10. More yoga and workouts
    
    
11. Decrease my tummy
    
    
12. Visit my family and cousins all over the country
    
    
13. Make a podcast/video about my favourite topic
    

What I want out of the perfect job

Here are the things I want out of a job. One does want money, that is the primary requirement. Here are other things that might override the money requirement. 

• Money, a respectful amount. If it's too much then it's fine. If it's too little it's not so bad as long as it's industry-aligned, and there are other factors that make up for it.
• Decent benefits, but that counts under 'money' technically.
• A high-level understanding of what is happening. Why am I doing this? Why does this matter? Who does this affect? What will I be working in the future? Who else can we collaborate with on various matters? How can I change things for the better, in the big picture? How can I contribute to the big picture?
• An ability to make a difference, in small and big ways. If I see the direction our group is taking is not the right one, I want to provide a feedback and be heard. It doesn't have to be listened, but I need to understand why my ideas are rejected. I will provide feedback in unrelated teams and sections, and need to be taken seriously with my ideas.
• A feeling of mattering. If it feels like I don't matter, I don't feel secure in the job. What if they got rid of me in two months and nobody noticed? That's how I would feel even if that is unlikely to happen. I want to make a difference to my coworkers, and to our customers, whoever they may be. I want to interact with the stakeholders, and understand their problems. I want to understand the decisionmaking process and understand why we're making the decisions we do.
• More people-to-people interactions. I don't want to become a cog in a wheel that just does its work and nothing else. I want to expand my social and professional circle. I want to get to know more people all across the organization. I want to get on coffee chats all the time. I want to explore physical and online interactions. I want to be known as the social-butterfly at work. I want to make sure everybody knows and remembers I exist. I want to be in a place where I can consider my coworkers to be my friends. I don't want to be an island of work in a vast ocean of my organization, as it is right now.
• I just want to interact with people on a daily basis man, I don't want to be a loner as they have forced on me as it is.
  

 high level understanding, ability to change things, seeing that I matter, more people to people interaction

Review of the wedding

This is going to be the last post on my NYC trip. One or two more come in after, but at almost 50 posts (and 40k words) I'm quickly running out of shit to talk about.

Let's talk about the wedding that I went to the City for! I'd got the invitation three months ago. I was the first person to RSVP for it, ten seconds after receiving the email! It was a bit embarrassing.

They divided the wedding into 3 days: mehendi/sangeet on the first day, 'drinks' on the second, and wedding + reception on the third. I attended the final two days of the event.

The first day was pretty chill. The wedding venue Hudson Basilica was grand and well-decorated. I caught up with all of my college friends, we laughed, we went to an after party, and oh the food was all Greek.

I got to crash at friends' airbnb, and went to NYC the next morning to clean up and change clothes. I came back the next day a bit too early and spent a few hours at the brewery.

The wedding was held outside next to the Hudson River by the trees. They did bare rituals both in the Greek style and the Indian style. It was so amazing, a friend from college played the background music. The families of both bride and groom participated in the rituals.

The reception was at the basilica, there were welcome drinks. It was open bar like the day before. The catered food was Indian on this day. So much fun, lots of dancing, bollywood music, Greek music and breaking plates, and a whole lotta going crazy with the gang. I drank in volume after forever, and blacked out towards the end. The desserts were pretty decent, a bit too sweet. There was also a 'self-run' photo-booth with those instant cameras.

We had small bottles of olive oils for takeout gifts. Wonderful. I went back to pick the bag I left the next morning. The doors were open. I just walked in and picked my belongings.

Loved the wedding, loved the experience, loved the vibe. I'd definitely not do the multiple commutes again, but otherwise what a solid trip it turned out to be. Just as, or even better than, I imagined. I just wish I'd found somebody single to talk to, but ah well, at this age...

Again, one of the more fun and exciting experiences I've had in recent times!

How the hell can one not find nice pair of decent shoes in NYC!

I had to buy expen$$ive camper shoes in NYC because apparently you can't fucking buy regular-people shoes in the entirety of the city!

I needed shoes for the wedding. The plan was to buy 60-something ones, at a place like Clarke's. I had four hours to go to the right place. I went Southwards from East Village, there was a Marshall's and a bunch of other stores. The Marshall's didn't have my size, a big misfortune whose importance I didn't realize at the time. The Katz's delicatessen was insanely busy, the lines snaked around the block.

I checked four other shoe stores nearby. All of them were 'we buy and sell shoes'. They were effectively places where economically-disadvantaged folks could bet on the prices of shoes. I just needed something to put on my feet. I didn't want to get rich! I didn't want to speculate on the shoe-prices. I went to four or five places, and they were all priced to...speculate. As if you were going to become a millionaire by timing your shoe buys and sells.

Eventually i ended up at Camper Shoes store. I figured I'd check the prices and bail out if they were too pricey. As it happens, those fuckers don't price their shoes openly. I searched online. They'd be the priciest shoes I had ever bought. I found a green pair of shoes. They were decent and the salesman recommended to me. I didn't have much time anymore, because the time for wedding was running out. I bought the pair. Very pricey. Ah well, another couple of hundos down the drain, that's how it goes in NYC.

When I'm in NYC next, I'm going to be very careful about where and how I'm shopping for shoes and other supplies. It's clear some of their markets are crazy fucked-up.

24 hour laundry in East village vs Queens

The NYC-specific posts are ending, after three days and tens of thousands of lines of laboring over them. I'm glad. Just a few more.

What's the deal with laundromats and NYC? I figured they would have 24-hr laundries everywhere in the city because that's how it's supposed to work. That's what hollywood told me. Not so, because I took me forever to find a place to clean my clothes in East Village, and all of them opened at 9am and closed at 9pm. Ah, I thought, maybe that's not a thing anymore, since covid. But then I went to Queens and they have rows and rows and rows of 24-hr laundromats all over. Maybe my friend's neighborhood in East Village is unique because they have modern buildings with cleaning machines in the basement, so those stores are not needed?

Somehow those machines had to break down exactly at the time I had to use them, alas. What a fiasco that was. I really needed/wanted to clean my clothes, and schemed for two days to get it to work, but unsuccessfully. So unfortunate.

Review of Hudson Brewing Company, Hudson NY

I spent an hour or so at the Hudson Brewing Company in Hudson NY, as the train took me to the town a bit before the wedding was supposed to start. Quick comments.

Their drinks were varied and interesting. Some of the drinks were actually shandies marketed as 'beer', but I didn't mind because they were yummy. The owner works there himself and was quite passionate about beer-making when I asked about the process. The staff appear to be longtime workers and seemed pretty content. My server was grumpy, but it must have been something in her personal life, because everybody else was cheery.

They also serve food, and other customers seemed to be enjoying the food. The clientele was pretty decent, and leaned on the younger side. Young families with kids were also there, and kids were having a great time. I don't have anything bad to write about the place. The entrance is a bit weird as the location is this random industrial lot. Don't know how they expect people to discover the area, I guess google maps does the job. Besides that everything was fine.

8/10 stars. I'd go again, but it's unlikely I'll ever end up at Hudson NY. I'd have to get a car, considering how fucking expensive it was to get there.

Review of the B-cup cafe in East Village, NYC

I went to this cute cafe to work during one of the weekdays in my NYC stay. They have free water, tables reserved for 'laptop workers' as well as 'talkers and eaters' (no laptops or electronics allowed). They have AC, which is the most important variable for a place in NYC in the summer.

I got a vegetarian sandwich (cheese and pesto) and it was quite decent. It's not the best, but the bread was so good! Their drinks and desserts are quite well-known too. I worked there for a couple of hours and nobody bothered me. Heard a bunch of NYU students discussing their future plans and overheard other very NewYork conversations. This was one the rare chances where I got to really absorb the City vibe. There was cool water, the staff was friendly, they let me work, and the food was decent. The price was fine.

7/10 stars, I'd go there again if I needed a place to work for a couple of hours. It's dark and grimy, the way I like it, so that helps.

Review of the nepali/tibetan restaurant NY Lhasa Liang Fen

This place is situated literally right outside where the Laguardia shuttles stop. So me -- and seven other people coming into to LGA it turns out -- went straight to the restaurant. It's run by Nepali-speaking people and they take only cash or zelle transfers.

I ordered for takeout right from the plane, and got there just in time to pick it up. This place has the best location of any place possible to service airport arrivals. If they invested in their marketing efforts, they would become a much bigger operation than they are.

I got jhol momos from here, and they were all excellent. Only 8 to a plate, but they were 'tibetan sized', so a plate would be decently filling. There's place to sit here, but it was far too hot and congested for me. I got the spinach momo (that's their vegetarian offering) and will likely spend a lot more money the next time I go there. This is legitimate, authentic and 'local'. This is where communities are made.

I give this place 8.25/10 stars, and will go there over and over again until I can give them a more realistic review because I've only tried one item, and that too an unusual one.

Review of the A&C kitchen in East Village NY

A&C kitchen is one of those old-timey 'cheap American-chinese places' that aren't that cheap anymore, and find themselves in a strange cultural place right now. I walked in the heat of the July summer in NYC to get the food.

For two entrees I paid $42 including tips. The food was not worth it. I got egg foo yong. I very much wanted to like the food. It was disappointing. I paid $20 for the goddamn item, it didn't feel like it. Didn't even feel like a $15 item each. It was awful. What a waste of money. And my friend Sk, who was starving, had three spoonfuls of his chowmein (maybe he got the wrong order, but his food didn't look like chowmein) before trashing it. It was yuck.

I give it 3/10 stars. It is technically food that will help stay you alive. It's not the worst item in the world. For how crap it is, the food is extremely overpriced. Maybe we got accidentally overcharged? If it had been 25, I'd been singing praises about it. Regardless, if this is how people are getting charged, I don't know how they will stay in business. They should really redo their whole vibe. It was so goddamn bad. For that much money I'd just have gone to domino's or even trader joe's and reheated their frozen foods and fed us for three days.

Yuck, yuck, yuck. Do better, people!

Review of the Kasthamandap restaurant in Jackson Heights, NY

SK, his cousin and I went to this restaurant in Jackson Heights before ending up at Tipsy Mandala (see previous post).

This is a family restaurant with fancy decorations. Even in the slow weekday evening we went, there were five or six groups in there. Everybody was having a good time. I found a cockroach just hanging out on our table, but I won't hold it against them. It happens, specially in the City, in the summer. The staff was quick and courteous, and the tv screens playing hi-def video clips of Nepal did create a 'premium' environment. They had a big event happening in the back, and people seemed to have a great time there.

Ambiance was great, staff was great, let's get on to food. I don't know if it was the menu, or it was us, but we ordered 'unusual items' for Nepali restaurants in the US. Newari items, chauchau sadheko, pork, sekuwa, all of them came with furundana. I got black-gram tarkari with my item. I liked my food -- though not the pricing.

The flavor was all great, nothing to complain about. It's just that...everything they had seemed to be 'low effort food', in that you could almost get about without having a full kitchen. Prepared furundana, reheated balls, and so forth. It felt as if they'd optimized their menu to not spend any money for a good cook. I don't have an issue with that, that's their choice. What I have issue with is their pricing: for the ok food they have in the menu, the prices were about twice of what they should have been, even accounting for the whole situation right now. I understand maybe it's because they're unique in their offerings and don't have a real competitor. Fair enough. I personally would not have wanted to pay for all of that food and I was relieved when my friend picked up the tab (I ordered 1 item, between the two of them, they got eight items plus drinks). He paid 140 bucks. Feels okay for 3 people in a decent restaurant, but in terms of food it was just 'street food easy to present without a kitchen' items place.

7/10 stars. Too pricey. Decent food. I'd go again if somebody else was paying for it.

Review of Tipsy Mandala in Jackson Heights

We went to Tipsy Mandala (Sk, his cousin, me) after getting dinner at Kasthamandap. Quick review.

I didn't get any drinks there, so this is based on the response of my team and the vibes.

This bar is the 'sister bar' to Blackstone bar in Thamel. I went to that place 16 months ago and that one was bomb. The two places share similar menus.

Mandala's vibe is quite chill, and they turn into a dance floor of sorts in the weekend. They're probably way cooler when there's more people. We went in a weekday evening so it was just a few groups in there, and they were mostly friends of the bartenders.

My group liked the drinks, they were unique creations back in the day, but business wasn't quick. They had UFC going on in the tv's, so that was something to distract us.

The ambiance is decent, and if there was more people I'd probably have enjoyed more. One of those places that needs at least one 'real' visit for reasonable evaluation.

8/10 stars for what we experienced. This will be updated when I go there again, as I should for an honest review.

Review of Paradise Gourmet Deli & Grill

This will be quick. Not much to write.

One of the meals I had at Sk's place was from Paradise deli. I was hungover and hungry and figured literally any food inside my body would be incredible. So I got a vegetarian ('california') sub sandwich, and a fries. I paid 15-16 bucks for the entire order.\

Let me put it this way. I'd eat subway for the rest of my life, every meal, than eat at this place again. I didn't realize breads could be so bad, that sub sandwiches could be so tasteless. My body hated the sandwich even though I was starving.

I've never had worse fries. They were gritty, unsalted and just so yuck. I've never actually 'not' finished or made significant dent at potatoes, but I had four of them before throwing out the massive box of them. Yuck. The food was so so so bad, I felt awful about myself. The depression on the following day may have been caused by the self-hate due to eating the awful place.

This is one of the most disappointing foods I've ever eaten. I always took the Greeks to be makers of great food. The greek cooks and proprietors of this place should legitimately be ashamed of themselves.

Review of the halal carts food in general, and how you can't go wrong with them

This is a 'general review' of all the halal carts we went to during my NYC stay. No point in isolating this cart or that cart because they seem to have standardized the workflow. We ate off them three, maybe four meals during the week I was there.

Halal cart falafel meals are by far the most reliably great vegetarian food int he city! They were affordable, they were yummy, and they were available everywhere. Except near my friend's place...we had to walk 10 minutes to get to the closest one, but still they're all over the place. Plus, some of them offer yummy fries, and drinks are included in the price. The owners are always nice and chatty, and they're open pretty much 24/7.\

For a vegetarian person eating out in NYC, it's very hard to go wrong with the halal carts. They're the most reliably yummy and reasonably-priced food that can be had there. A McDonald's for the city, except wayy yummier and healthier.

9.5/10 stars, I know this is high marks, but that's how much I liked them. They made my difficult eating situation so much more agreeable!

Thank god for Halal carts!

Review of Nebula and the bollywood night we went to on the evening of Wednesday

The three of us, Sk, his friend the strange person, and I went to Nebula -- an event space by Times square -- on the night before July 4th. We had the 'free' tickets to the place but they charged us $40 claiming they were valid only until 11.30PM. I didn't mind, it was surprising they were selling for free anyway. I'm confident it was all a ruse to bring people in. I won't complain. It's fine, whatever.

I liked the vibe? It was not as bad as I imagined. The boys were a bit to angsty, as if they had something up their asses, and not staying in the same places. If you're agenda-driven in a club you don't have fun. I wanted to dance, and lots of dancing was done. There were some guys that were weirdly protective of the women in their group who wanted to dance, but besides that it was loads of fun. Chill people, chill vibes, I didn't get the drinks anyway. The door prices were extremely sus and felt kinda' scammy, but that's the nature of these things.

This was my first 'bollywood event' in the country. I found the music to be pretty decent. The vibe was chill, and I like being one of the more cool and fun people in the dance floor. My group's vibe reeked of desperation but it's not on me, I didn't care. A large number of people, mostly the dudes, stood by the sidelines sulkily drinking and watching others dance. Whatever. Didn't care for that. I had so much fun and def got fourty bucks worth of fun.

I would go to a similar event again, but not sure if it was worth the $40. I want a clearer communication of the door prices and don't want to feel scammed. Otherwise it was a pretty decent event. I liked it!

Review of Mud SPOT Aka MUD cafe in East village

I went to MUD cafe with friend SST on my last day in the city. I was carrying my luggage, we went to hang out at her place before I left for the airport.

First the ambiance: the backward area, outside place is quite nice and totally my vibe. It's an excellent place to hang out with dates, friends, and medium sized groups during Spring and Fall. If they have heaters winters are probably decent in there too.

The food: I got the mexican breakfast item with eggs and avocado. It was 'just okay'. My friend S wasn't much impressed by what she got either. I would instead just buy lotsa stuff at Trader Joe's and heat them up in the microwave before the hangout and go there there. The food is not great, and not 'cheap' for what it is either.

The service: it was comically bad. Even by NYC standards. Like so bad my friend and I were both confused if it was an act like Dick's or what. I mean I don't mind, but it's unclear to me what was happening.

The price: I paid 45 buckaroos for two brunch items and a drink, including taxes and tips. Hopefully they got the math correct because I don't remember seeing that amount in the bill. In any case, the prices are extremely unjustified. For what they offer, it's extremely overpriced. Wouldn't eat there at all.

Recommendation: go there, buy the cheapest drink available on the menu, and spend hours.

Rating: 8.5/10 for the vibe, 5/10 overall. Just got here and don't eat anything, you're paying money on drinks for the ambiance.

Review of the Lhasa restaurant in East village

I went to the Lhasa Tibetan restaurant in East Village for one of my NYC lunches. Quick review follows.

The ambience was pretty decent: a classic old-timey 'nice Nepali restaurant' vibe. It's definitely not 'casual' in its vibe. The staff were nice and courteous.

I ordered the mixed-veggie momo platter and mushroom shephale. The momo platter was pretty decent and gets very high marks. The mushroom shephale was too oily and too doughey. Four pieces of fried dough with mushroom for one person was a bit much. I'd rather have ordered something else in retrospect. It was not a summer food at all. It was fine, and by the end of the meal I was bursting at the seams. Besides that it was all decent.

7.75/10 stars for the restaurant. I'll got again only if somebody recommends the place specifically for something that they excel in. I tried it and wasn't specially impressed. I'd rather just go to Jackson Heights and explore the multitude of Tibetan restaurants there than overpay for the same items in the East Village.

"Oh, I remember you!" : Reassing one's social relationships, and re-evaluating choices in hindsight

This will be quick, I'm sick of writing those NYC-inspired thoughtpieces.

Everyone I knew was excited by my presence in the wedding. Because I'm off the social media and didn't get in touch with anyone, nobody knew for sure if I was showing up. I caught up with the old timers, all the almost 2-dozen of them. It was clear that they were not skeptical of my presence or me. In college I found people's invitations to parties and friendship hangouts a bit too skin-deep. It never felt that folks quite wanted what they claimed. Because I was used to much stronger relations due to the boarding school, my social alignment was quite off. In retrospect it was obviously me and not them. If I could do it again, all of the invited parties would be gone to, and I'd organize so many parties myself. One wonders now, why didn't I? People were just excited by my presence, and I was as cool as anybody. Really there were much worse people, uglier people, awful people, sociopaths, who were tolerated and interacted with. All things considered I was fine. It never felt that way, and it was only because my social sensor was ill-calibrated.

Turns out the interactions since were mis-calibrated too. People aren't secretly hanging out behind me, ignoring me. It's just that I showed little interest in spending time. If I had asked to hang out even after college, or just kept in touch on insta, things would have been different. I was too busy with my own shit and issues though, wasn't I? Why? What was it that crushed my spirit? So silly! I should just have chilled out and become an inveterate schmoozer. Somebody who relentlessly networked. Networkers are better than wallflowers anyway.

What are the implications of the reassessments? I need to maintain and grow my social relationships. People need to be validated, reminded they are cared for, and that includes folks who appear happy in their groups. Everybody appreciates being invited to a party. You don't have to be honest about your emotions all the time, just a half-assed invitation is a thousand times better than forgetting or not inviting people.

A few years ago I reminded myself that half-assing things is better than not doing them at all. Now I understand that the half-assery works out for everything. Even interactions with other people. Sending out beacons of care, checking up on folks matters, at a personal level. That adds up even if they don't care, even if they might not reciprocate, even if it feels like I might be a loser. One must just chill, relax, and not mind about freaking out about simple things. Just relax and chill man, it's going to be fine. Lots of self-love!

Coming clean with good ole friends about friendships and admiration

This will be quick for two reasons. First, I'm a bit spent writing about NYC experience and 'post-writing'. Second, one does tend to run out of material that's been stretched to its logical end. The NYC trip and the following writing has taught me that often giving thoughts a few days to 'simmer' before writing and letting them settle down improves their depth. There's one more post after this, and then eight or so reviews, then we're on to regular stuff. Phew. It's gotten boring.

At the wedding party I talked to old classmates from college, and was quite honest about exactly how I felt about them, in a good way. I told my friend S, who's from Missouri that he was a sweet person and his middle-America sensibilities were admirable, and I should have spent more time hanging out with him. It felt a little funny, but who knows if I'll ever see those people again?

Then I took classmate JI out to the side, and told him the inspiration he had been for me. He wasn't the ideal inspiration material. I didn't know anybody more irresponsible and 'out there' in college than JI to be honest. But his choices in certain fields had encouraged me to be more dutiful and hardworking and courageous to take bigger changes. I thanked him for the inspiration and he felt honestly surprised. I'm glad, it's unlikely we'll meet again anyway!