Coming home

 I've not done freewriting in a long while because of the time pressure but maybe it's time for that too. Because I've only to do three posts, and then the eight or was it nine journal posts later in the evening, and I'm in a good place. Let's just do it yooooo.

Summer says she doesn't want to come home, she's having too much fun with her friends but I can hear the nostalgia in her voice during our weekly calls. Later, she says, soon, she will say, because I'm having fun, but her voice breaks, there's uncertainty. I'm not the only friend here, the whole gang is back now, with all the bullshit happening in the world and what not we've made our own little community. The townsfolk aren't too happy with us cityfolk but this is how cities thrive, we tell ourselves. Investing in theater, coffee stores, new innovative fun things, parks. A place for us to grow old in peace and comfort, for our kids to grow up in loving caring surroundings. I tell that to Summer, she nods, pauses, looks away from the camera. She changes the topic. I ask her if she's stuck, if there's something holding her back there. Yeahhh...she says...but no..it's just...she begins, for the hundredth time...I just like the city okay I have my friends here, and yeah they're all moving back to their own folks' places or going to the 'burbs but that's even better for me because it forces me to have younger friends. You know, some of my friends are in their early twenties it's such a different life man I'm loving it, it's great yeah I'm having a fantastic time in the city I don't know when I'm coming home.

I'm doubtful.

I'm suspicious about the boyfriend. I never liked him much anyway. He's got something sketchy about him, he seems too night, too eager to please, he always says the right things, even when you'd expect him to have an uhh opinion. You're the perfect boyfriend man, I teased him once, and then like an asshole he went all humble on me, said naahh it's just that I try and I've got my flaws nobody's perfect it's just some people are more compatible with certain other people yadda yadda yadda. Yeah as if I didn't know that fuckface, I thought at the time, I was just testing you. Who even talks like that, if somebody told me that I'd take the compliment in a big fucking swallow and bask in it for weeks. But not this guy. Something is up with this guy, I just know, and I'm uncomfortable with how their relationship is going.

But I can't tell her that because she gets really angry when I bring the whole situation up. I shut my trap and change the topic.