Sarvaparadhastotra by Pratapa Malla

Homage to the thrice-illustrious Kalika.
1. The sort of anguish felt by the child, whose body is tortured by the garland
of flaming digestive fires producing waves of piss and shit, reborn from his
mother's cavernous womb as a result of past evil's excess,
Can someone like me, or one still more simple-minded, describe it?
O Mother, let my faults be forgiven! Kalika, Treasure of Victory, be gracious.

2. In childhood's painful state - incapable of knowledge, in a body wet with
its own filth - one cries constantly because it is impossible to say what hurts,
and because one is greedy to drink milk,
In this state, which is totally dependent on others, there is not even recol-
lection of the mother who makes suffering cease.
O Mother, let my faults be forgiven! Kalika, Treasure of Victory, be gracious.

3. Wealth and youth feed egoism, and that mind-set respects no one. I adored
sexual games with women, and became so enchanted with this foul adoration
that not for a moment did I adore you, the Primal One, the most deserving of
those who deserve to be honored.
O Mother, let my faults be forgiven! Kalika, Treasure of Victory, be gracious.

4. In the decrepitude of old age - which consists of diseases starting with
coughing, wheezing, and being bent over, when walking and breathing are like
punishment, and the heart finds pleasure only in eating - one's thoughts are
empty of her who is Made of Pure Thought,
When I am sinking into Death's snare, befouled by my own filth, and worries
grow ever greater,
O Mother, let my faults be forgiven! Kalika, Treasure of Victory, be gracious.

5. I was unawakened in yoga, I was inattentive to the commands of the Veda
and indifferent to the orthodox smarta path, I lacked the power to apply myself
to Samkhya metaphysics and the like, I had no ears to hear talk of governance
and conduct.My thoughts lack focus even when turned to praise and reflection on you,
who are Speech Embodied.
O Mother, let my faults be forgiven! Kalika, Treasure of Victory, be gracious.

6. Located like the Supreme Siva at the Brahma-lotus atop the head, you were
never worshiped through mental acts, nor were you worshiped by means of
external rituals, such as those performed in the yantraraja by me, even though
my thoughts were pure,
Though every act was faithfully performed, fire-oblations and the rest, still
none really reached you.
O Mother, let my faults be forgiven! Kalika, Treasure of Victory, be gracious.

7. In my material body composed of the five gross elements, and of Brahma
and other deities, I did not honor you - who are eternal in the form of mantra
and the Inner Sound, who are the Queen of Breath, who are Made of Pure
Thought -
I did not honor you by means of the unparalleled sacrifice of evils cut like
animals with the sword of knowledge, because the blaze of desire and anger is
brighter than the sun and moon.
O Mother, let my faults be forgiven! Kalika, Treasure of Victory, be gracious.

8. She is that which moves in the element-free subtle body, and in the mind,
and in the essence of the self as known through insight; she is transcendent,
an extraordinary thing composed of bliss, whose own self consists of ultimate
truth,
And yet she is hidden from me. I have not even for a moment managed full
consciousness of her subliminal presence.
O Mother, let my faults be forgiven! Kalika, Treasure of Victory, be gracious.

9. Dhata [Brahma] in the form of a lotus, Hari [Visnu] in the shape of a lion,
Sambhu [Siva] as a ghost - these gods who are portions of yourself serve as
your illustrious vehicles at particular times,
But I am just a mortal who does not know single- and multi-forms at the
time of sacrifice.
O Mother, let my faults be forgiven! Kalika, Treasure of Victory, be gracious.

10. You merely fixed your gaze on the best of yogins and that Great Lord -
scorcher of Madana, bearer of the trident, holder of the bow - became the Lord
of the Simple, for his heart was stolen away,
So how shall I, of the dull and wandering thoughts, offer elegant verses of
praise to you?
O Mother, let my faults be forgiven! kalika, Treasure of Victory, be gracious.

11. Ears! Listen ceaselessly to the stream of goodly descriptions of her.
Tongue! Sing out, I say. Thoughts, meditate on her feet! You pair of eyes,
behold her body. Spirit! Merge yourself here. Nose! Smell the flowers offered
to the daughter of the Best of Mountains.
But I did not do this.
O Mother, let my faults be forgiven! Kalika, Treasure of Victory, be gracious.

12. Feet! Go forth to circumambulate daily. Hands, do puja! Head, bow your-
self in reverence. Heart, do continuous japa. Spirit, go to the state of absorption
in her!
But I, who am deeply corrupt, did not perform your worship by sharing in
Bhavani thus.
O Mother, let my faults be forgiven! Kalika, Treasure of Victory, be gracious.

13. Let her be served - by those who have realized that wisdom, wealth, land,
all forms of grandeur, immortality, and the like are but trifles made of fear,
mixed with a little happiness, and thus doomed to be consumed by Time,
With body, speech, and mind let her be served - by those who have realized
that she and Sankara are One, for she is made of Endless Bliss, she is the
Woman of the Beautiful City, she is the blessed Sankari of our City.

14. Neither in fate, nor in the opinions of the Kapalikas and their like, nor in
the collected Vedic teachings, nor in the doctrines of the Vaisnavas, the Sau-
gatas, the Saivas, the Sauras, nor of those who put Ganesa first, nor in the path
of devotion to the guru, nor in the service prescribed by the Kaulikas who
teach the rules for your observances, with perpetual, occasional, and other rites,
In none of these is your worship accomplished.
Mistress of the afflicted! Protect me who takes refuge at your feet.

15. You are the Gayatri of the Vaidikas, Daughter of the Ocean (Laksmi) of
the Vaisnavas, Mahesi of the Mahesvaras, according to the categories of doc-
trine on earth, Vajravarahi of the Saugata yogins and, further, Necessity of the
Mimamsakas.
Mother, let my faults be forgiven! Treasure of Victory, the One whom fol-
lowers of all margas serve.

16. Kali! Even at a power-seat pleasing as this, even when festival time came
around, the puja of your two feet was not openly rendered, due to my wrong-
headed negligence. Thus you have been slighted, but don't be angry with fool-
ish me, who has come to take refuge in you.
Lady, mother, giver of auspiciousness! when a bad son is born, let not the
mother turn bad too.

17. Mother! the world's Kaulikas partake of you with Six Transmissions of
teachings, and the Success of their six types of practice rests at their fingertips
easily, through your grace.
But how might I sing your praises? Even this poem is no true praise. Mother
of Speech, be content with what has been uttered by the illustrious King
Pratapa.

18. That which I have done or caused to be done - in morning, noon, evening,
or night; through thought, speech, or deed; with feet, hands, or eyes; through
smelling, hearing, or touch; by myself, through another person, or at the word
of the guru; by virtue of fate or by force -

Every single fault of mine, overlook it! O sea of compassion, O Devi Kali!
Thus ends the Sarvaparadhastotra composed by him who excels in all fields of
expertise, including war, book-learning, and music, the ruler of great rulers,
the lord of Nepal, the great scholar, the lord of the circle of all kings, the
supreme king of kings, the most worshipful poet-king, Jaya Pratapa Malla.