Why I write, for the thousandth time

 I've written on this maybe a hundred times in this blog, and I'll add yet another attempt to that, because it helps me ground myself, remind where I'm at and where I intend to be. It's good to get a perspective on your life and not be bummed out by the minor confusions caused by people not entirely sober. So here we go.

I started this blog because I wanted to have written a novel by now, and thought that writing everyday would be a good practice to actually start writing the novel and getting it completed. Because you can't just say, hmm I'll write a novel, and write it out of nowhere in two days. It needs discipline and commitment to the craft, to the techniques etcetera. And while I stayed true to that for some time, and have been on and off, for the last many months I've been sorta off the track, the entirety of this year actually. And sure we can blame travel and covid and what not, but it's like the original motive has been left by the bayside.

So what's the point then, if I'm not very committed to getting the novel written and published? A few points. First, it's unclear that the novel's way further out. I have these intense bouts of mania where I am extremely productive, and it's not unlikely that I'll encounter one of those and actually get it done. And this will all have been a great practice for them. Muscle exercise and stretching, call it if you may.

Second, this is what gives me structure in life, something to look forward to on a daily basis, something to commit to. This is a chore, a routine, something that organizes my days. And even if the writing is of the most awful quality it doesn't matter because the point is the act of writing, not the substance.

Third, this blog and the journaling nature of it is a historical/personal record of my life, which is quite exciting by itself.

Fourth, this is a practice for me to get invested in more longer-term projects, that need long-range commitment.

Fifth, writing bullshit and experimental shit must do some good at some point, right? It can't just all go to waste without bringing about some positive change in my writing quality?

Sixth, it's something to brag about, innit?