Ten signs you might be a drug dealer

1. You sell drugs
   
   
2. You offer 'lunch' to random strangers in return for money, and you claim it's not really yours, a friend had to leave the country in a rush
   
   
3. Your excitement for untraceable digital currency beyond the control of government is extraordinary, and you keep talking about how you should never ever trust 'the man'
   
   
4. You get like three large packages shipped from remote locations every day, and you ship like twenty smaller packets, and no you don't run a formal business
   
   
5. The one U.S. government institution you're afraid of the most is IRS, you're paying wayyy more than your W2 would otherwise suggest.
   
   
6. You stand outside clubs and bars on weekends, your hands in your jacket pockets, looking sketchily at the people coming out and ask if they're looking for 'a special deal'
   
   
7. Your passport has stamps from Colombia and Mexico and yet you never tell anybody about the trip you took to those countries
   
   
8. You have a very large number of very transactional friendships with people you meet rarely.
   
   
9. You are interested in rearing Hippos.
   
   
10. You're thinking of getting a pilot's license because those non-commercials are just not doing it for you.