The freckle and the key, part I (coupling)

It's not a death book
Susan tells her Steve
It's a pedia, of health.
As our man, obsessed
Flips through the pages
In search of the malady
That caused the freckle
Which he thinks will
Off him, while in bed.

And Jane, our very Jane
So much not the Virgin
Is with the virgin the Vicar
No apparently,
He's just religious, a podcaster
A well-built nice man, not a harm
Jane cannot cope, she's insecure
She wants Jane
To turn down her charm.

Sally and Patrick, playing it cool
When Jeff appears, what a fool
With his head ensconced in a mask
Of what matter, one might ask
Of the type, that rhymes with 'pimp'
There's been a swallowing situation
Shows the gang laxative of every kind
When Steve asks if he's a vigilante, the spankman
Curious why he's dressed like a gimp.
We find Jeff's chemist run
Mighta' been accidental robbery fun!

Julia unable to move
And looking very disappointed
Who doesn't yet know,
Of the swallowing incident
That's going to make her
Getting out of the bed
An act quite complicated.