Q: What's the new lunch policy?
A: Twitter Inc is no longer providing catered lunch or lunch stipends. We believe our employees are sufficiently compensated to be able to buy, or make their own lunch.
Q: Where are we supposed to keep our lunch fresh? The cleaning staff don't appear to be working.
A: Twitter has downsized the cleaning crew because of lack of use of the kitchen area and surroundings. We have also gotten rid of all the coffee machines since coffee is a dangerous addictive drug that has limited space in the workplace. We believe our employees are adult enough to clean up after themselves in the lunch area, and don't need paid staff to clean up after them.
Q: Where do we heat the food?
A: As you are all aware, the kitchen microwave is missing. We have been informed they were taken by the liquidators wrongly. We're be following up with them on that.
Q: What?
A: Please be patient as we work through minor kinks. Lunches are available at hundreds of downstairs restaurants, it's not like anybody is dying of hunger, and we pay you enough to get a hot meal geez, stop being a cheapskate!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Tell me what you think. I'll read, promise.