Allow me to pat myself on the back, this is already the most fruitful month on this blog in terms of the number of posts here. Congrats me! And there's three more days to go, so more greatness abounds!
Another note: in terms of the number of posts, if this month had been a year, this would have been my second most prolific year after 2010 (ignoring 2019 of course, when the writing mania began).
Why my family loves America: A reprisal
This is the third time I'm talking about both these things here. No matter.
My family loves this place because everytime they've been here, they've lost something. And everytime, it's been returned to them, when they least expected to get it back. The first time, my mom left her luggage on the NYC metro. Two very nice women came back with the luggage in ten minutes. The second time TD dropped her wallet at the airport. Two weeks later (when she was back in Boston), she went to the lost-and-found, and there it was, without a cent missing from it.
And last evening, I left my cellphone on the bus. I contacted the cellphone soon after, they texted and called the number I sent to the phone, and in half-hour, I went to the location where I'd dropped it in the bus, and they gave it back to me. Just like that. None of the passengers had taken it, it hadn't been disbanded or discarded or anything. Was really happy.
Its not like I haven't had things get stolen or taken just like that. It's the fact that the people here actually believe in and respect the rule of law. Without concern for people's color of skin. Generally, people respect the law whether they're white or black or green or blue. It's only the orange persons that appear to have a disregard for law and order. And thus, my condition for staying in this country has been: if the orange people are not brought to justice and forced to respect the rule of law, I will lose my respect for this country and leave.
My family loves this place because everytime they've been here, they've lost something. And everytime, it's been returned to them, when they least expected to get it back. The first time, my mom left her luggage on the NYC metro. Two very nice women came back with the luggage in ten minutes. The second time TD dropped her wallet at the airport. Two weeks later (when she was back in Boston), she went to the lost-and-found, and there it was, without a cent missing from it.
And last evening, I left my cellphone on the bus. I contacted the cellphone soon after, they texted and called the number I sent to the phone, and in half-hour, I went to the location where I'd dropped it in the bus, and they gave it back to me. Just like that. None of the passengers had taken it, it hadn't been disbanded or discarded or anything. Was really happy.
Its not like I haven't had things get stolen or taken just like that. It's the fact that the people here actually believe in and respect the rule of law. Without concern for people's color of skin. Generally, people respect the law whether they're white or black or green or blue. It's only the orange persons that appear to have a disregard for law and order. And thus, my condition for staying in this country has been: if the orange people are not brought to justice and forced to respect the rule of law, I will lose my respect for this country and leave.
Haircut and Proposal [Tuesday 28]
So much happened today, it feels like a week went by.
Up surprisingly on time, ready set go with everything, everything tiptop and ready despite me wasting several minutes watching youtube in the morning. Posted two letters and took the Orange line, not to avoid walking but because I didn't feel like walking too early. Got off at DTX in the orange line and walked to office. Such a nice comforting walk need to do it again. By the way, so much space in the new Orange Line trains, I should be taking the Red Line trains because it's healthier but the Orange Line might be making a comeback guys.
On support all day long, had a department meeting, then a micro-team meeting then lunch then meetings, then had to support coworkers. Don't think did much 'real' work, but did get a lot done in terms of teamwork. Had oats for lunch, apparently you need to put twice as much water/liquid as oats even in microwave. First time I heard of it, and it was quite good.
Left work a little earlier than usual (by five minutes), the red line to Davis, walked to Alibrandis in Teele, and got cutting by 5.02. Nice haircut as you noticed in the previous post, took the 89 bus back home, and realized as soon as I got off the bus that I left my phone in there. Rushed back home, send the 'recovery message' on the phone, and went to shower, really stressed out. I had to write a business proposal due tonight too, so quite a lot of pressure.
After showering checked my messages on the laptop, and the MBTA people had found my phone! Told me to be where I had left the phone. Ran the 10-minute walk in four minutes probably, waited for eight-ish minutes, got my phone back. Considered tipping, but there were two employees of the MBTA, and I didn't want to be improper, so didn't tip either. I would have paid a LOT of money to get it back though. Told roommate this is why my family loves America, which is 100% true. Brought over 3 slices of 7/11 pizza and wolfed it down at home. Pretty good but ahh so many calories, don't think I'm gonna eat that many 7/11 slices in one sitting in the future. Heard the Bengali owner scold the Nepali employee for being really lazy and scammy and coming in an hour late and wanting to use the restroom in two hours. I had graduated university before you was even born, you fucker, he said to his employee. In front of his customers. And this was an old Bengali man. Where is this world even heading to.
Came back, talked to roommate PK and BB a bit, and started writing the proposal, spreading it over two hours. Watched a couple of episodes of the office, finished and submitted the proposal. Felt really tired and ready to go to bed. Looked at the checklist and for some reason wanted to complete more tasks so read the book of Genghis Khan, did partial pushups (don't wanna do all of them), talked to roommate BB before going to sleep who's such a generous person whenever I'm leeaving home for some time. Again came back to my room ready to go to sleep, but spent almost an hour writing a letter. Cleaned up, thought was gonna go to sleep, but got enough energy to write this down, and all ready to sleep.
Up surprisingly on time, ready set go with everything, everything tiptop and ready despite me wasting several minutes watching youtube in the morning. Posted two letters and took the Orange line, not to avoid walking but because I didn't feel like walking too early. Got off at DTX in the orange line and walked to office. Such a nice comforting walk need to do it again. By the way, so much space in the new Orange Line trains, I should be taking the Red Line trains because it's healthier but the Orange Line might be making a comeback guys.
On support all day long, had a department meeting, then a micro-team meeting then lunch then meetings, then had to support coworkers. Don't think did much 'real' work, but did get a lot done in terms of teamwork. Had oats for lunch, apparently you need to put twice as much water/liquid as oats even in microwave. First time I heard of it, and it was quite good.
Left work a little earlier than usual (by five minutes), the red line to Davis, walked to Alibrandis in Teele, and got cutting by 5.02. Nice haircut as you noticed in the previous post, took the 89 bus back home, and realized as soon as I got off the bus that I left my phone in there. Rushed back home, send the 'recovery message' on the phone, and went to shower, really stressed out. I had to write a business proposal due tonight too, so quite a lot of pressure.
After showering checked my messages on the laptop, and the MBTA people had found my phone! Told me to be where I had left the phone. Ran the 10-minute walk in four minutes probably, waited for eight-ish minutes, got my phone back. Considered tipping, but there were two employees of the MBTA, and I didn't want to be improper, so didn't tip either. I would have paid a LOT of money to get it back though. Told roommate this is why my family loves America, which is 100% true. Brought over 3 slices of 7/11 pizza and wolfed it down at home. Pretty good but ahh so many calories, don't think I'm gonna eat that many 7/11 slices in one sitting in the future. Heard the Bengali owner scold the Nepali employee for being really lazy and scammy and coming in an hour late and wanting to use the restroom in two hours. I had graduated university before you was even born, you fucker, he said to his employee. In front of his customers. And this was an old Bengali man. Where is this world even heading to.
Came back, talked to roommate PK and BB a bit, and started writing the proposal, spreading it over two hours. Watched a couple of episodes of the office, finished and submitted the proposal. Felt really tired and ready to go to bed. Looked at the checklist and for some reason wanted to complete more tasks so read the book of Genghis Khan, did partial pushups (don't wanna do all of them), talked to roommate BB before going to sleep who's such a generous person whenever I'm leeaving home for some time. Again came back to my room ready to go to sleep, but spent almost an hour writing a letter. Cleaned up, thought was gonna go to sleep, but got enough energy to write this down, and all ready to sleep.
New haircut
Got a new haircut, super short on the sides, pretty reasonably long in the middle, and sharp fade on both the side. Roommates say it kills, but as I've always said, they have kinda' low standards for liking things. The coworkers are the true honest judges of what things should look like.
Also shaved some of my beard, unclear if I want to get rid of all of my facial hair, because while on one hand it does make me look younger, perhaps I want to give the manly vibe? But then I'm short which makes me look like an old toad croaking about thumping chest, pretending to look cooler than I am really. Such things. Don't feel like writing the day-end thing. We'll see if I end up writing it.
Also shaved some of my beard, unclear if I want to get rid of all of my facial hair, because while on one hand it does make me look younger, perhaps I want to give the manly vibe? But then I'm short which makes me look like an old toad croaking about thumping chest, pretending to look cooler than I am really. Such things. Don't feel like writing the day-end thing. We'll see if I end up writing it.
Longer warmer days
The days are much longer now, the Sun is high up in the sky when I'm up. And it's still bright outside when I get home. The weather too, it's been quite nice for this time of the year. I don't want to jinx it, in past couple of years everyone was relieved by how well January had gone only to suffer through winter storms for the following three months. Still, days are bright and not too cold, there's no snow so the nights are dark too, and there's no too much melancholy in the air. Hope abounds, it feels like Spring for a change! Good times! Good, good times!
Final day before deployment
Important day at work, our software's releasing tomorrow and we're making everything works. And I'm one of the two people whose job is to make sure absolutely nothing breaks and everything goes by order. It's not a tall task because everything's been so great yet, but does come with a heavy burden on one's shoulders. Fingers crossed.
Phone-free sleeping
Obvious as it may sound, perhaps the best solution to sleeping peacefully is to go to bed on time, stretch for a couple of minutes before going to bed, keeping the phone faraway from you, and focusing on your breath as you try to fall asleep, to maintain your focus and avoid distraction. Or to distract away from more demanding distracting thoughts that will stop you from going to sleep. Another important point that goes without saying but that I tend to forget quite regularly: drink water at least two hours before going to sleep or else you'll be woken up untimely in the morning with great difficulty in going back to sleep.
In any case sleep problems might be on top in the coming days, as I'll be traveling to the opposite timezone and be busy in a matter of two days. When the sleep cycle's wonky, all other parts of my daily life get screwy. And that means no posting here, no workouts, no staying within bounds for eating habits, no worrying about maintaining order and discipline in life. For like two days it's a lot of fun. Then things get even more stressful because nothing's happening and I'm wasting my time on stupid news sites reading stuff that has absolutely no bearing on my action or in my control, stressing about things I would never care about. Even if I did, there'd be nothing I could do about those, it's just a waste of emotional energy and time, but it's hard to convince yourself of that when you think things are Bad and you need to absolutely hype yourself so you're on top of them. That's how the cycle goes, and it starts with a bad sleeping cycle almost every time. It's insane, it's simple. Yet I fall into the trap every time I'm home or out of my daily routine.
Also need to figure out what I'll be doing in my 24-hour journey to Sg. As they say, it's going to be uhmm litt.
In any case sleep problems might be on top in the coming days, as I'll be traveling to the opposite timezone and be busy in a matter of two days. When the sleep cycle's wonky, all other parts of my daily life get screwy. And that means no posting here, no workouts, no staying within bounds for eating habits, no worrying about maintaining order and discipline in life. For like two days it's a lot of fun. Then things get even more stressful because nothing's happening and I'm wasting my time on stupid news sites reading stuff that has absolutely no bearing on my action or in my control, stressing about things I would never care about. Even if I did, there'd be nothing I could do about those, it's just a waste of emotional energy and time, but it's hard to convince yourself of that when you think things are Bad and you need to absolutely hype yourself so you're on top of them. That's how the cycle goes, and it starts with a bad sleeping cycle almost every time. It's insane, it's simple. Yet I fall into the trap every time I'm home or out of my daily routine.
Also need to figure out what I'll be doing in my 24-hour journey to Sg. As they say, it's going to be uhmm litt.
Aldi trip before home, laundry day [Monday 27]
Got up at 7, somehow missed the alarm, actually got out of the bed at 7.35, rushed everything but still did the workouts and the morning post but skipped showering. Walked to Davis, in at 8.35, work at 9.10, helped coworkers with the deployment issues we might have, since we're going to production in two days. Had a coffee chat with a coworker, intense heart-to-heart conversations on how to improve the culture at the workplace. Got the Monday breakfast, it wasn't bad but nothing work writing home about. It's fine. The red line to work was surprisingly slow.
At lunchtime we had a 'team lunch' -- played the game Geoguessr where I got one answer really right and one really wrong. Also played an interesting party game called 'fake artist' where everyone but one player gets a single word, and the 'fake' artists gets a paper that says 'fake'. Everyone has to draw something on a shared sheet of paper to let other players know they are 'real'. The faker has to draw something too. At the end of a round (or two), everyone votes who the faker is. If the most people vote for the faker, they win. If they vote non-fakers out, the faker gets more points. The game keeps going until everyone gets bored, or I guess you could play for points too, idk. Got two sandwiches and wraps at the event, goddamn good those hummus and lettuce wraps are.
After lunch more helping the coworkers, but mostly killing time because I was on the call. Left work at 4.25, took the Green line to North Station and then the Orange Line to Wellington. Took the 100 bus from Wellington to Aldi and bought thirty dollar worth of nice chocolates. The entire Aldi trip took maybe 10 minutes. Got out, took another 100 northbound bus, got off in the middle, took the southbound 101 bus, and at home in 5.55. So by turning my 50-ish minute commute to 1.5 hours, an addition of 40 minutes, I can make the trip to the grocery store be completely in public transport. I've discovered this before and talked about it in detail but ohboy do I impress myself.
Got home surprisingly lacking in energy and tired, so finished off the remaining soup with cheese and crackers. Good stuff. Still didn't feel full-energy, did the laundry anyway. Watched some tv, talked too roommates PK and BB. Read a lot, wrote a lot, wrote two important letters that I felt very passionate about, did the workouts. Need to do 35 more pushups and I'm done for the day. All that remains is to go down to get the laundry, fold 'em up, take shower, and good night sweet dreams it is. Realized that if I don't bunch all my activities to 1/1.5 hours towards the end of the day, I can actually get them done pretty easily without stressing out. Perhaps the stress is causing me to plan better and become more disciplined. I think it's worth it, that way there's actually less stress except the general kind that puts me in general 'working' mood.
That's all there is for the day, need to get a haircut and hang with SS (phd) and JM tomorrow, and go to class the day after. Two more workdays remain before I leave for my monthlong trip. Need to start packing ASAP. So excited. Gotta chill.
At lunchtime we had a 'team lunch' -- played the game Geoguessr where I got one answer really right and one really wrong. Also played an interesting party game called 'fake artist' where everyone but one player gets a single word, and the 'fake' artists gets a paper that says 'fake'. Everyone has to draw something on a shared sheet of paper to let other players know they are 'real'. The faker has to draw something too. At the end of a round (or two), everyone votes who the faker is. If the most people vote for the faker, they win. If they vote non-fakers out, the faker gets more points. The game keeps going until everyone gets bored, or I guess you could play for points too, idk. Got two sandwiches and wraps at the event, goddamn good those hummus and lettuce wraps are.
After lunch more helping the coworkers, but mostly killing time because I was on the call. Left work at 4.25, took the Green line to North Station and then the Orange Line to Wellington. Took the 100 bus from Wellington to Aldi and bought thirty dollar worth of nice chocolates. The entire Aldi trip took maybe 10 minutes. Got out, took another 100 northbound bus, got off in the middle, took the southbound 101 bus, and at home in 5.55. So by turning my 50-ish minute commute to 1.5 hours, an addition of 40 minutes, I can make the trip to the grocery store be completely in public transport. I've discovered this before and talked about it in detail but ohboy do I impress myself.
Got home surprisingly lacking in energy and tired, so finished off the remaining soup with cheese and crackers. Good stuff. Still didn't feel full-energy, did the laundry anyway. Watched some tv, talked too roommates PK and BB. Read a lot, wrote a lot, wrote two important letters that I felt very passionate about, did the workouts. Need to do 35 more pushups and I'm done for the day. All that remains is to go down to get the laundry, fold 'em up, take shower, and good night sweet dreams it is. Realized that if I don't bunch all my activities to 1/1.5 hours towards the end of the day, I can actually get them done pretty easily without stressing out. Perhaps the stress is causing me to plan better and become more disciplined. I think it's worth it, that way there's actually less stress except the general kind that puts me in general 'working' mood.
That's all there is for the day, need to get a haircut and hang with SS (phd) and JM tomorrow, and go to class the day after. Two more workdays remain before I leave for my monthlong trip. Need to start packing ASAP. So excited. Gotta chill.
The leader's comical career-end
Snark and smarm were not good qualities for a leader but that's what we had in those days. Our fking prime minister acted like a third-rate comedian who nobody laughed at but who'd still make those awfully painful jokes, laugh at them pretending he had killed. Nobody dared tell him anything, they figured he knew. No one ones laughing after all. He was clueless as a blind elephant.
The most ridiculous event was during the great epidemic. People were dying left and right all over the globe. It was particularly bad back home because the government was caught pants down and it could do nothing to stop the contagion. They declared emergency and deployed the army, but what were those pour souls going to do? After seven dozen older soldiers died, the high command feared a serious rebellion. The army was recalled and instead the government had to ask for foreign assistance to control the disease. That was when he decided, that stupid oaf, that it would be hilarious to make jokes about the disease. "Our leaders want to hold on to power like the contagion", he said in one speech, "Even the contagion couldn't get rid of me, the opposition certainly wont," he said in another one. His most ardent supporters were getting annoyed. He had broken the red lines, way way past them, and was in his own imaginary world. He was insane.
He also lost his 'independent and sovereign country' credentials after that. A dry husk with nothing inside. Everyone knew that of course, and they talked about it. So he decided to shut everyone up. Draconian laws. Discuss about it anywhere in the social media or online or whatever, and upto three years in the clink. Ridiculous. So everyone went in with fake names. Even his party cadres called him Comrade Oaf, Comrade empty husk, Comrade limpdick. They got bolder and bolder as time went on. Soon the politburo realized that he was more of a liability than an asset. What could they do though, he was the prime minister.
Of course, our great comrade decided to take this sensitive time to mount a political coup. He called vote-of-no-confidence against his own compatriot. Against the co-chair of his party. And the vote passed with flying colors. Because even his old comrades had had enough. He was turning the chair and the parliament into a laughing stock. He didn't take anything seriously, but more importantly by exercising the limit of his power he had showed that he had no hand. He was bluffing. This tinpot dictator would have to go out, even if that meant the potential of getting a real red mad comrade dictator. At least you'd be a brave soul to go against him, a martyr if you went down. Going against the clown didn't mean much because he didn't stand for anyone or anything anymore. He just spoke whatever came into his little, particularly unimpressive, head.
The most ridiculous event was during the great epidemic. People were dying left and right all over the globe. It was particularly bad back home because the government was caught pants down and it could do nothing to stop the contagion. They declared emergency and deployed the army, but what were those pour souls going to do? After seven dozen older soldiers died, the high command feared a serious rebellion. The army was recalled and instead the government had to ask for foreign assistance to control the disease. That was when he decided, that stupid oaf, that it would be hilarious to make jokes about the disease. "Our leaders want to hold on to power like the contagion", he said in one speech, "Even the contagion couldn't get rid of me, the opposition certainly wont," he said in another one. His most ardent supporters were getting annoyed. He had broken the red lines, way way past them, and was in his own imaginary world. He was insane.
He also lost his 'independent and sovereign country' credentials after that. A dry husk with nothing inside. Everyone knew that of course, and they talked about it. So he decided to shut everyone up. Draconian laws. Discuss about it anywhere in the social media or online or whatever, and upto three years in the clink. Ridiculous. So everyone went in with fake names. Even his party cadres called him Comrade Oaf, Comrade empty husk, Comrade limpdick. They got bolder and bolder as time went on. Soon the politburo realized that he was more of a liability than an asset. What could they do though, he was the prime minister.
Of course, our great comrade decided to take this sensitive time to mount a political coup. He called vote-of-no-confidence against his own compatriot. Against the co-chair of his party. And the vote passed with flying colors. Because even his old comrades had had enough. He was turning the chair and the parliament into a laughing stock. He didn't take anything seriously, but more importantly by exercising the limit of his power he had showed that he had no hand. He was bluffing. This tinpot dictator would have to go out, even if that meant the potential of getting a real red mad comrade dictator. At least you'd be a brave soul to go against him, a martyr if you went down. Going against the clown didn't mean much because he didn't stand for anyone or anything anymore. He just spoke whatever came into his little, particularly unimpressive, head.
Chochockcolatee!
Just bought a metric effton of different kinds of good kinda chocolate from Aldi. People like making fun of Aldi but the chocolates there are high quality and reliable, much better than the crappy American ones specifically those made in a particular city in Pennsylvania. Salt. Caramel salt. Chilly. Toffee Chocolate. Very dark chocolate. Etcetera. This is for the family to expand their palate to real quality chocolates. Not that I'm a snob mind, I am not a snob. It's just that people need to taste chocolates that are not just sugar and rancid fat. The roasted flavor of cocoa, the slight hit if well cooked sugar and the smoothness of unspoiled butter that's less than fifteen percent of the content of the chocolate. Or Chocolat as the French call it
Good fantasies
It's probably not too weird that my longest lasting fantasies involve well-planned urban centers, great public transportation and education, and the leadership committed to the protection and active rejuvenation of wildlife and forests. And using all sorts of fungi and mushroom in detoxifying the environment, cleaning up the rivers and lakes, and creating durable sustainable materials for construction and consumer goods.
First year as a big politician
A good leader is hard to come by, but great leaders are like precious gems, at the risk of being lost or stolen. Protect the ones you like and respect with all the integrity you have, for if they feel their skills talents and honesty are not appreciated, they will often avail their services elsewhere where they are acknowledged.
It was perhaps not surprising then that Sudan's first year at the job was such a whirlwind. Whereas he had expected to be bombarded with requests for personal favor, attempts to get him to flex the rule of law, and perhaps even attempts at getting him into some large 'project' or another, in reality every single civilian he met praised him for his integrity honesty and patience, and explained often requested him to be more patient with the nature of political system in the country, and that thins would be alright. It is worth the trouble, what you are doing, they said, you might come up with problems that will test your resolve and integrity, please don't fall for them consider them tests put forward to us by you and you will doubly succeed in those. They'd go on and on about the goodness of the various virtues he had, other examples of great leaders from the past or from mythology, and how well-loved and respected they still were. The implication being, you will be up there too if you keep up at your project.
He wasn't worried, Sudan, but he was starting to get real competition from newer generation of elected leaders. There was this particular person, who had spent a long time as a high-powered wall-street trader or quant or one of those things they do finance-wise, who was out there after anyone's back who might even have remote indirect financial interest in any of the national projects. Of course it was easy for him to say, probably with millions hundreds of millions in his bank accounts from his banking days. It was good though, that he was keeping everyone honest, Sudan was just afraid that man wasn't the ideal leader he just seemed to have read a template for becoming a Nepali politician and was going from the script, quite well really, but something seemed to lack within him. He couldn't identify what it was, but there was something off. In any case, he was the kind of person Sudan found politically threatening, but that was for the future, he was just an upstart and posed no real danger in the short term. He had just been elected, got to get down to the more essentials first instead of worrying about political longevity.
It was perhaps not surprising then that Sudan's first year at the job was such a whirlwind. Whereas he had expected to be bombarded with requests for personal favor, attempts to get him to flex the rule of law, and perhaps even attempts at getting him into some large 'project' or another, in reality every single civilian he met praised him for his integrity honesty and patience, and explained often requested him to be more patient with the nature of political system in the country, and that thins would be alright. It is worth the trouble, what you are doing, they said, you might come up with problems that will test your resolve and integrity, please don't fall for them consider them tests put forward to us by you and you will doubly succeed in those. They'd go on and on about the goodness of the various virtues he had, other examples of great leaders from the past or from mythology, and how well-loved and respected they still were. The implication being, you will be up there too if you keep up at your project.
He wasn't worried, Sudan, but he was starting to get real competition from newer generation of elected leaders. There was this particular person, who had spent a long time as a high-powered wall-street trader or quant or one of those things they do finance-wise, who was out there after anyone's back who might even have remote indirect financial interest in any of the national projects. Of course it was easy for him to say, probably with millions hundreds of millions in his bank accounts from his banking days. It was good though, that he was keeping everyone honest, Sudan was just afraid that man wasn't the ideal leader he just seemed to have read a template for becoming a Nepali politician and was going from the script, quite well really, but something seemed to lack within him. He couldn't identify what it was, but there was something off. In any case, he was the kind of person Sudan found politically threatening, but that was for the future, he was just an upstart and posed no real danger in the short term. He had just been elected, got to get down to the more essentials first instead of worrying about political longevity.
Movie party with extended roommate friends [Sunday 26]
It's 1 minute to 12 am, I haven't done a lot today, so here we go in short on things that I did today. The summary is: not much.
Got up late in the morning because talked to PA for 4 maybe 5 hours on the phone. We've been talking for real long on the phone recently and it's always a good sign if you're talking to people on the phone for real long, but some people disagree with that assessment and I can't really get behind that.
Got out of the bed at 9-ish, wrote some posts, made lunch of eggs, potatoes, kimchi tacos cooked in bacon fat it was so disgustingly good and filling that my arteries were contracting consciously and it felt so gooood. Read a lot, wrote a lot during the day, but mostly wasted time reading blogs and on youtube. In the evening, semi-roommate I and his roommate L (I think) came over because their apartment is completely made unlivable by soot. Watched parasite, kill bill, among other movies, even though I should have been working otherwise. The lack of proper sleep and eating too much is definitely taking its toll on me, it's not clear what I can do about it. Didn't do any of the workouts either until the evening when I did lots of pushups. Planning to read the book now, and complete most of the checklists things before going to bed. Haven't written a letter in many days, but there's reasons for that, I don't know if I want to keep doing that etcetera, we'll see.
Watched someone play some stupid youtube game for hours, wasted hours on random newssites that should not be perused anymore because it's just an information addiction I thought I'd gotten over but apparently not. They're the reason I'm ashamed about my emotional health and information-addiction situation because I just can't let them go. Also talked to JD on the phone, she's in Nepal. Tried contacting a bunch of people on the phone too but we kept missing each other, that's somewhat of a bummer such is life.
And then started doing the workouts and writing these blog posts in a row. Which was at 11 in the evening I think. So on the good side, at least some workouts and disciplined activities were done. ON the bad site, nothing productive was done generally, and I got carried away by fantastic tendencies. One wonders if there's been any learning, disciplining and growing up that's happened in the past several months or if it's just the habit that's keeping me running, which if it collapses for some stupid reason or another, I'm back to being a puddle of sadness desperation uselessness and hopelessness.
Finally, these things make me realize I need to come up with a better, more suitable checklist for my journey so I may be able to keep to my time-table during all the traveling, fun-having with family, and then staying comfortably like a loser who depends entirely on their family in Nepal. I don't mind, but I'd like to start taking the steps to becoming my own man, a grown-up person who can take care of himself and isn't a child needing to be taken care of.
Anyways that's it, I need to start writing stuff at work too, hasn't happened because we've been so busy lately. Need to get up early in the morning tomorrow and walk all the way to davis. Goodnight folks, and toodles.
Got up late in the morning because talked to PA for 4 maybe 5 hours on the phone. We've been talking for real long on the phone recently and it's always a good sign if you're talking to people on the phone for real long, but some people disagree with that assessment and I can't really get behind that.
Got out of the bed at 9-ish, wrote some posts, made lunch of eggs, potatoes, kimchi tacos cooked in bacon fat it was so disgustingly good and filling that my arteries were contracting consciously and it felt so gooood. Read a lot, wrote a lot during the day, but mostly wasted time reading blogs and on youtube. In the evening, semi-roommate I and his roommate L (I think) came over because their apartment is completely made unlivable by soot. Watched parasite, kill bill, among other movies, even though I should have been working otherwise. The lack of proper sleep and eating too much is definitely taking its toll on me, it's not clear what I can do about it. Didn't do any of the workouts either until the evening when I did lots of pushups. Planning to read the book now, and complete most of the checklists things before going to bed. Haven't written a letter in many days, but there's reasons for that, I don't know if I want to keep doing that etcetera, we'll see.
Watched someone play some stupid youtube game for hours, wasted hours on random newssites that should not be perused anymore because it's just an information addiction I thought I'd gotten over but apparently not. They're the reason I'm ashamed about my emotional health and information-addiction situation because I just can't let them go. Also talked to JD on the phone, she's in Nepal. Tried contacting a bunch of people on the phone too but we kept missing each other, that's somewhat of a bummer such is life.
And then started doing the workouts and writing these blog posts in a row. Which was at 11 in the evening I think. So on the good side, at least some workouts and disciplined activities were done. ON the bad site, nothing productive was done generally, and I got carried away by fantastic tendencies. One wonders if there's been any learning, disciplining and growing up that's happened in the past several months or if it's just the habit that's keeping me running, which if it collapses for some stupid reason or another, I'm back to being a puddle of sadness desperation uselessness and hopelessness.
Finally, these things make me realize I need to come up with a better, more suitable checklist for my journey so I may be able to keep to my time-table during all the traveling, fun-having with family, and then staying comfortably like a loser who depends entirely on their family in Nepal. I don't mind, but I'd like to start taking the steps to becoming my own man, a grown-up person who can take care of himself and isn't a child needing to be taken care of.
Anyways that's it, I need to start writing stuff at work too, hasn't happened because we've been so busy lately. Need to get up early in the morning tomorrow and walk all the way to davis. Goodnight folks, and toodles.
Things besides ghosts that are scary
Ghosts can come in various sizes and colors, make no mistake in that. You might see a shadow of something suspicious and say, ohh that's just a can of tuna there's no ghost inside of it hahaha i was afraid of a can of tuna wtf, but think about the fact that you're imposing your conception of what a ghost should be like to shape your deepest fears. The ghosts don't give an eff about what you think contains a ghost or not, they'll just be happy to scare the crap our of you in any shape form sizes or situation they find themselves in, be it a can of tuna or an old rusty bicycle a bottle of spoiled milk or even a small block of overripe cheese that you know you should have discarded away a long time ago but were to lazy too. Literally every little thing around you could be haunted and you would have absolutely no clue, isn't that so crazy if you really think about it?
In any case, there are other things besides ghosts that a fearful person needs to worry about, and we're not even talking about the evil things the living can do or crazy things like global warming, nuclear war cancer and what not. Ghosts are actually one of the tamer supernatural forces, if you compare them to everything else there is, even the scariest most powerful fearsome ghost is equivalent of casper the friendly baby ghost if you compare it to literally everything there exists. Demons for example, they don't care about your feelings or emotions or that you're happy or sad or scared, they'll just rip you into pieces, turn the soul into a thousand pointless figments to make a delicious soup for themselves all the while not severing your consciousness so you can still feel every one of those thousand cuts and the bites and the slurps and the swallows deep within your veins arteries and muscles. And just to torture you, not for the sake of hurting you mind you, just proving that they're the boss of you and you are nothing compared to their awesome power and abilities, they'll turn you back whole and sometimes send you back to live, so you live with deep scars from that experience, you have memories of it but it could as well as been a vague confused dream and obviously no one believes you so you spend the rest of your painful life made fun of and not taken seriously. Sometimes you wonder if the alternative would have been less unpleasant.
Even gods, you know, as we've talked about in great detail in these places, can be awful beings if you don't fall on their good sides and mess around with you just for the heck of it without so much as a twinge of guilt. What you have to remember about them is that they're not humans like you or I so they have no pain no guilt, no ability to empathize with humans and understand what it means to be us, to them we're mere rocks, senseless amoebae that can be messed around with for no real repercussions morally or physically. That is one of the reasons humans have traditionally allied themselves to the demonic races during their battles against the gods because demons re a lot closer to understanding the being of humanity that the gods are. Honestly they're not even that bad, it's just the pathetic attempts at propaganda by the folks over there at Swarga.
In any case, there are other things besides ghosts that a fearful person needs to worry about, and we're not even talking about the evil things the living can do or crazy things like global warming, nuclear war cancer and what not. Ghosts are actually one of the tamer supernatural forces, if you compare them to everything else there is, even the scariest most powerful fearsome ghost is equivalent of casper the friendly baby ghost if you compare it to literally everything there exists. Demons for example, they don't care about your feelings or emotions or that you're happy or sad or scared, they'll just rip you into pieces, turn the soul into a thousand pointless figments to make a delicious soup for themselves all the while not severing your consciousness so you can still feel every one of those thousand cuts and the bites and the slurps and the swallows deep within your veins arteries and muscles. And just to torture you, not for the sake of hurting you mind you, just proving that they're the boss of you and you are nothing compared to their awesome power and abilities, they'll turn you back whole and sometimes send you back to live, so you live with deep scars from that experience, you have memories of it but it could as well as been a vague confused dream and obviously no one believes you so you spend the rest of your painful life made fun of and not taken seriously. Sometimes you wonder if the alternative would have been less unpleasant.
Even gods, you know, as we've talked about in great detail in these places, can be awful beings if you don't fall on their good sides and mess around with you just for the heck of it without so much as a twinge of guilt. What you have to remember about them is that they're not humans like you or I so they have no pain no guilt, no ability to empathize with humans and understand what it means to be us, to them we're mere rocks, senseless amoebae that can be messed around with for no real repercussions morally or physically. That is one of the reasons humans have traditionally allied themselves to the demonic races during their battles against the gods because demons re a lot closer to understanding the being of humanity that the gods are. Honestly they're not even that bad, it's just the pathetic attempts at propaganda by the folks over there at Swarga.
The teacher's writing therapy
Hundreds of people thronged to him, as if he was a god, all with their children. Teach him sir for she may become a doctor one day, no one has studied in our family before sir, we are poor people sir, we need this to continue our family business sir, etcetera etcetera. Did they not realize he was a simple teacher who could inspire students, he wasn't a god who would magically make their mostly mediocre children into geniuses? The sad part was that in most cases what the students themselves wanted to study was quite unrelated to what their families wanted them to do, it wasn't that they were stupid or lazy, just that they were really really disinterested in what was being taught. You could force-feed knowledge on the unwilling or the uncaring, he'd tried teaching that to everyone but no one listened. Everyone wanted a doctor, engineer, foreign-educated, someone who did something big useful important and most of all made money, in their household. The young ones were into entrepreneurship and business but that's not what the families wanted from them, alas.
His trick at this point had been to only take the good interested ones that actually cared for what he had to teach, and just guide them in their quest for knowledge. Just the facilitation, without getting in their way. It is true, his former students were all in high posts doing incredible things, but he didn't want any credit for that, he had merely seen what they already had inside them and agreed to mentor them. Yet his selectiveness turned on him as it looked like he had a midas touch for turning anything he touched into a gold of a human being. In reality, all he did was polish existing gold, and that too barely.
One day, he decided to change his approach. Anyone can polish gold, he told himself, if I really want to deserve the respect I've been given, I must guide the unwilling, the unable, and the lazy to be where they deserve to be, where they want to be regardless of the fields their parents want them to take. That will be true mentorship and teaching, he realized. And then, his individual tutoring sessions turned into large evening tutoring classes, with dozens of students in each.
His first order of business was to identify what each of them really wanted, and what their families wanted out of them. And really whatever was inside of them, all those repressed emotions, the pressure, the intense desire to rebel, that all needed to have a safe outlet or his courses would just turn into one of those rowdy college classes. He made them write nonstop for ten minutes every day, if they put their pens down or stopped to think they'd lose points. Write whatever you want to he said, don't make it crappy, make it sane and good enough that people would not want to arrest you or kill you after reading it, but write whatever comes into your mind besides that. The unstructured writings proved way for more structured writing practices his students started finding therapeutic. Write about what your families want you to do, and explain why they want that, without stopping for ten minutes. Don't even stop your pen to think or you lose points. And the next day it would be, write about what you want to do in the future, even if you don't know write about what you definitely don't want to do, and evaluate how that would fit among the societal expectation from you, where those expectations can come from, how you can manage them. As those writing exercises went on for weeks and months, he realized something: the quality of those writings was improving, they were being more honest and more self-reflective, actually using it as an opportunity to turn over their own thoughts and emotions, trying to grapple those and trying to come up with ways to handle the expectations of their families. The success of the writing exercises gave him an idea. He got a couple more trusted former students who were looking for jobs, and had them start their own classes, alongside him, and they too would offer free- and guided- writing sessions upfront, except the writing took up 30 minutes total of the hour-and-half courses. These kids were writing five-hundred maybe a thousand words every class, and with their english courses at schools, and the tutored sessions, the quality was improving.
His trick at this point had been to only take the good interested ones that actually cared for what he had to teach, and just guide them in their quest for knowledge. Just the facilitation, without getting in their way. It is true, his former students were all in high posts doing incredible things, but he didn't want any credit for that, he had merely seen what they already had inside them and agreed to mentor them. Yet his selectiveness turned on him as it looked like he had a midas touch for turning anything he touched into a gold of a human being. In reality, all he did was polish existing gold, and that too barely.
One day, he decided to change his approach. Anyone can polish gold, he told himself, if I really want to deserve the respect I've been given, I must guide the unwilling, the unable, and the lazy to be where they deserve to be, where they want to be regardless of the fields their parents want them to take. That will be true mentorship and teaching, he realized. And then, his individual tutoring sessions turned into large evening tutoring classes, with dozens of students in each.
His first order of business was to identify what each of them really wanted, and what their families wanted out of them. And really whatever was inside of them, all those repressed emotions, the pressure, the intense desire to rebel, that all needed to have a safe outlet or his courses would just turn into one of those rowdy college classes. He made them write nonstop for ten minutes every day, if they put their pens down or stopped to think they'd lose points. Write whatever you want to he said, don't make it crappy, make it sane and good enough that people would not want to arrest you or kill you after reading it, but write whatever comes into your mind besides that. The unstructured writings proved way for more structured writing practices his students started finding therapeutic. Write about what your families want you to do, and explain why they want that, without stopping for ten minutes. Don't even stop your pen to think or you lose points. And the next day it would be, write about what you want to do in the future, even if you don't know write about what you definitely don't want to do, and evaluate how that would fit among the societal expectation from you, where those expectations can come from, how you can manage them. As those writing exercises went on for weeks and months, he realized something: the quality of those writings was improving, they were being more honest and more self-reflective, actually using it as an opportunity to turn over their own thoughts and emotions, trying to grapple those and trying to come up with ways to handle the expectations of their families. The success of the writing exercises gave him an idea. He got a couple more trusted former students who were looking for jobs, and had them start their own classes, alongside him, and they too would offer free- and guided- writing sessions upfront, except the writing took up 30 minutes total of the hour-and-half courses. These kids were writing five-hundred maybe a thousand words every class, and with their english courses at schools, and the tutored sessions, the quality was improving.
Need to organize my thoughts and posts better
Need to organize my blog better, and take care of how I'm
categorizing my posts. Formerly, I had no posts to speak of so there was
no organization required but now I'm writing quite a few posts every
day so it's become important to organize them by their content, my
intention behind writing them, and how far into the future I want to
consider them.
The way I'm thinking, all the 'On' posts become pages, so whenever I encounter an airport, or a shopping mall or whatever and have thoughts on it, I just add to that page. So it'll be a running chronology of my thoughts on certain topics. And my 'idea' posts go somewhere too, so I can look back at them periodically and comment on if they ended up being good ideas or not, what went right etc etc. Also, need to organize my fiction/non-fiction better, need to figure out where the totally self-absorbed posts go, where the organization and planning posts such as this one belong, how to organize different kids of storylines and merge them and how to put them in chronological order. Lots of housekeeping to do ugh.
The way I'm thinking, all the 'On
Idea: Mushroom bricks
Before I start this, need to remind myself that I need to organize my blog better, and take care of how I'm categorizing my posts. Formerly, I had no posts to speak of so there was no organization required but now I'm writing quite a few posts every day so it's become important to organize them by their content, my intention behind writing them, and how far into the future I want to consider them. I need to write all of this in a separate blog posts. Reminder to self: do this all in the next post.
As for right now, here's an idea: Mushroom bricks. Here me through this.
dd
Idea: do this in Nepal. Make mushroom bricks, mushroom chairs, mushroom drink coasters, mushroom planter pots, mushroom 'pirai', mushroom boards, mushroom blocks to sit down on, mushroom decorations, mushroom light frames, mushroom bollards etc. They're fire retardant, light, strong and environmentally sustainable. And they use agricultural waste products, which there's a lot of in Nepal, it would also be easy to start because the startup costs would be so low and since it's so novel everyone would be into it. Seriously think about this, me. This is an incredibly clever, innovative idea, that I should work with my team to explore further and research into further possibilities.
As for right now, here's an idea: Mushroom bricks. Here me through this.
dd
Lunar new year at Tufts dining [Saturday 26]
Got up on time, no good sleep, left home at 10.37 walked ran as fast as I could to make it to Tufts dining well in advance of the cutoff to lunch. Stayed there the whole day ate so much had such a grand old time, didn't steal as many fruits this time though because I'd not be eating those.
Almost the entire day was preparing for the uhm new conversations I might be having, answers, and how to negotiate etcetera. Nothing serious, just getting in the mindset to deal with important things happening. Started preparing the proposal for the business idea I've been looking at and working on for the last year, but they extended the deadline, so ended up not working on it. Watched a lot of youtube too, but it was mostly just research sites on how to negotiate and answer professional questions.
Met HK (from Tufts), got caught up with him, it was raining real bad, so he dropped me home, dried my clothes and went to sleep. May have done a little reading/writing too, but didn't do any of my other chores.
With this, I'm finally caught up with yesterday's posts and can work on today's. Need to hurry up, three hours for five posts, all the workouts and things. Not that it's a tight call, but the mental attitude is important here, and after a lazy weekend it's hard to get back in such a mindset.
Almost the entire day was preparing for the uhm new conversations I might be having, answers, and how to negotiate etcetera. Nothing serious, just getting in the mindset to deal with important things happening. Started preparing the proposal for the business idea I've been looking at and working on for the last year, but they extended the deadline, so ended up not working on it. Watched a lot of youtube too, but it was mostly just research sites on how to negotiate and answer professional questions.
Met HK (from Tufts), got caught up with him, it was raining real bad, so he dropped me home, dried my clothes and went to sleep. May have done a little reading/writing too, but didn't do any of my other chores.
With this, I'm finally caught up with yesterday's posts and can work on today's. Need to hurry up, three hours for five posts, all the workouts and things. Not that it's a tight call, but the mental attitude is important here, and after a lazy weekend it's hard to get back in such a mindset.
Fantasy weekend
There was a call I'd been hoping to get for months on Friday. It went well, no point going into deeper details.
In any case, I've spent (unintentionally) fantasizing about changes in my life if things work out well as the process moves forward, and boyoboy these fantasies are good. Aerogarden with chillies, gym everyday, cooking whenever I want, so many exciting things.!
Anyway, I didn't get much writing or any real important shit chores etcetera done because I was so allured by the fantastic visions dreams. Fantasy is important to remind yourself there are cool things worth doing, but fantasy is not where you should spend your life, or entire weekend even. Small doses of high-quality fantasy is where it's at, otherwise it becomes an addictive drug, taking over the real and gradually degrading it all to replace it with imagined and the unreal. Scary times.
In any case, I've spent (unintentionally) fantasizing about changes in my life if things work out well as the process moves forward, and boyoboy these fantasies are good. Aerogarden with chillies, gym everyday, cooking whenever I want, so many exciting things.!
Anyway, I didn't get much writing or any real important shit chores etcetera done because I was so allured by the fantastic visions dreams. Fantasy is important to remind yourself there are cool things worth doing, but fantasy is not where you should spend your life, or entire weekend even. Small doses of high-quality fantasy is where it's at, otherwise it becomes an addictive drug, taking over the real and gradually degrading it all to replace it with imagined and the unreal. Scary times.
Writing rap poetry
Here's an idea worth exploring. They say rap is the spoken poetry of the day, a new poetry form that may or not involve rhyming words but definitely does not involve musical rhythm (like songs). Most rap is against oppression or injustice, though more later-day regimes have co-opted it out and use it to promote authoritarianism and oppression.
I want to start writing rap. Because traditional form of poetry is not sufficiently powerful (or popular) for powerful stressful messages that argue for a fundamental reshuffling of social-political institutions. My friend TK (from Tufts, in california right now) writes and recites rap with her 5-year old cousin, and they're the most adorable powerful rap performers. They're inspiring enough that I want to get in on that too. It's unclear where I'd start from, but I do know what I want to write, so that's something.
This is to just remind myself that I should be writing rap.
Toodles.
I want to start writing rap. Because traditional form of poetry is not sufficiently powerful (or popular) for powerful stressful messages that argue for a fundamental reshuffling of social-political institutions. My friend TK (from Tufts, in california right now) writes and recites rap with her 5-year old cousin, and they're the most adorable powerful rap performers. They're inspiring enough that I want to get in on that too. It's unclear where I'd start from, but I do know what I want to write, so that's something.
This is to just remind myself that I should be writing rap.
Toodles.
Weekend update
Having trouble catching up with the posts over the weekend because I still can't figure my sleeping schedule out. It's not even the laziness anymore, I can make myself get out of the bed and do things, it's that going to sleep legitimately and getting a sound undisturbed sleep that makes me feel well-rested and energetic the next morning is so hard, it doesn't seem to matter anymore. These are dangerous times. I'm still covering up for yesterday's post, will be done in an hour probably, even less and then need to do todays post. The good thing about this all is I have no word limits or anything so I can just pass the short pieces off just for the sake of doing this.
Preparing for the godless world
Nothing ever lasts for ever, not time, not even the universe. What are Gods then but tiny particles of dust flesh and blood with a special around them in this infinite timeless cosmos.
The era of the Gods would end, that much was known. The believers knew that before the era ended they'd have to make contingency plans, for their entire system was based around devotion to the deities. When they went away so did the source of their wealth power and prestige. Their children and grandchildren would need to be protected in a materialist nihilist universe, be given a cause to survive and thrive in the unforgiving world.
The era of the Gods would end, that much was known. The believers knew that before the era ended they'd have to make contingency plans, for their entire system was based around devotion to the deities. When they went away so did the source of their wealth power and prestige. Their children and grandchildren would need to be protected in a materialist nihilist universe, be given a cause to survive and thrive in the unforgiving world.
Roommate returns and Upper Alston party [Friday 24]
Got up pretty late due to having gone to bed super duper early. Got up at 4am, went back to sleep at 7, for an hour and a half. Planned on going to work, but due to sleep-related reasons worked from home.
Did productive work getting team ready for release. Had lunch of butternut squash soup -- it's pretty tasty and doesn't upset my stomach but the afterburp is the worst, unsure what causes it but there it was annoying me.
In the evening completed most of my daily chores that I'd ignored for a day, did the morning workouts and part of the evening pushup, read the Genghis Khan book, wrote the posts from yesterday, and got cleaned up. Left home at 7.30.
Walked to Davis, Red Line to Harvard, long wait for the 66, busride to upper Alston and a 5-minute walk to AD's place. It was our regular gang, but at AD's place due to various laziness-related reasons. Roommate SM was there, straight from the airport back form Nepal and so was roommate PK. SS (lawyer), AD, S, JS were all there. AD cooked chicken and rice, and veggies and lentils, I ate a little of it, but mostly had the two fruits I'd brought with me. I gave a Merci to AD and one to SS to encourage her to hangout more. Didn't realize ND was such a big fan of those chocolates, she went through an entire box all by herself.
Lots of song-singing happened, they call it Karaoke, unclear if everyone had similar fun but it was certainly different from what we do usually. Got caught up on people's New Year's celebrations, their upcoming plans, what they've been upto generally, and their interactions with Nepal. After singing pretty much throughout until 12, left for home in JM's car.
After getting dropped home, we smoked a slight amount, and the three roommates compared notes and shared stories until almost 3am. Was so sleepy and tired, tried sleeping while still talking. Went to bed at 3, and went to sleep, a sound peaceful sleep.
Did productive work getting team ready for release. Had lunch of butternut squash soup -- it's pretty tasty and doesn't upset my stomach but the afterburp is the worst, unsure what causes it but there it was annoying me.
In the evening completed most of my daily chores that I'd ignored for a day, did the morning workouts and part of the evening pushup, read the Genghis Khan book, wrote the posts from yesterday, and got cleaned up. Left home at 7.30.
Walked to Davis, Red Line to Harvard, long wait for the 66, busride to upper Alston and a 5-minute walk to AD's place. It was our regular gang, but at AD's place due to various laziness-related reasons. Roommate SM was there, straight from the airport back form Nepal and so was roommate PK. SS (lawyer), AD, S, JS were all there. AD cooked chicken and rice, and veggies and lentils, I ate a little of it, but mostly had the two fruits I'd brought with me. I gave a Merci to AD and one to SS to encourage her to hangout more. Didn't realize ND was such a big fan of those chocolates, she went through an entire box all by herself.
Lots of song-singing happened, they call it Karaoke, unclear if everyone had similar fun but it was certainly different from what we do usually. Got caught up on people's New Year's celebrations, their upcoming plans, what they've been upto generally, and their interactions with Nepal. After singing pretty much throughout until 12, left for home in JM's car.
After getting dropped home, we smoked a slight amount, and the three roommates compared notes and shared stories until almost 3am. Was so sleepy and tired, tried sleeping while still talking. Went to bed at 3, and went to sleep, a sound peaceful sleep.
An evening in Kathmandu cemetery
Rise, rise, rise.
Whispers in the dark, chilly night. A thick soup of dirty white fog blankets everything. Dogs howl, do they always sound like Jackals?
The air smells of gunpowder, burnt metal, and rotten eggs. The sulfuric pungency creates a sense of confusion and strikes fear in the deepest chambers of one's heart.
In the oft-avoided cemetery at the outskirts of Kathmandu, there's a bustle. Roars of engine, shouts, confusion. Rankling of chains, a blaring horn, groaning of rusty metal gates. Thump. Thump. Thmp. Men heaving and groaning. Swearing at each other. Gravel and mud being shoveled. Isn't it full moon today, someone shouts, it shouldn't be this dark, we should have brought torchlights!
Shut up and dig, it's dark so what, we can see the mud, that's what pays the money!, the contractor shouts.
They hit something after an hour and half of swears thumps and groans. A muffled cheer of joy. Clinks of glasses. And soon, sounds of knocks against wood. Wood creaking and groaning, men heave-hoing. A loud thump. Wood creaks.
Shock. Confusion. Angry shouts.
They didn't expect the coffin to be empty. It was, empty as the day it was created, not a sign of anybody dead or alive ever inhabiting it.
Mfker, did we dig up the wrong grave, someone shouts. What idiot would bury an empty coffin, someone else shouts. Is this about ghosts and things like that because I dont like that sort of drama, we should go home if it's something related to spooky stuff. This is not what we were told, says someone rather passionately.
Everyone is trying to figure out the coffin. No one pays attention to the slow heavy breathing from far away, slowly getting louder. Crunches and crankles. Thwaaap, thwuuup, thwuup, something soft being flung about. It gets louder and louder.
What's that sound, the 'not into ghosts' guy says. Quiet. Thwuuup thuwuup thwuump, the sound is gradually getting louder. Strong men aren't always brave men. There's a school of thought that argues that strong men are the most scared men, they cultivate their strength to protect themselves fro unknown terrors. Such as the one they can feel coming to them.
Whispers in the dark, chilly night. A thick soup of dirty white fog blankets everything. Dogs howl, do they always sound like Jackals?
The air smells of gunpowder, burnt metal, and rotten eggs. The sulfuric pungency creates a sense of confusion and strikes fear in the deepest chambers of one's heart.
In the oft-avoided cemetery at the outskirts of Kathmandu, there's a bustle. Roars of engine, shouts, confusion. Rankling of chains, a blaring horn, groaning of rusty metal gates. Thump. Thump. Thmp. Men heaving and groaning. Swearing at each other. Gravel and mud being shoveled. Isn't it full moon today, someone shouts, it shouldn't be this dark, we should have brought torchlights!
Shut up and dig, it's dark so what, we can see the mud, that's what pays the money!, the contractor shouts.
They hit something after an hour and half of swears thumps and groans. A muffled cheer of joy. Clinks of glasses. And soon, sounds of knocks against wood. Wood creaking and groaning, men heave-hoing. A loud thump. Wood creaks.
Shock. Confusion. Angry shouts.
They didn't expect the coffin to be empty. It was, empty as the day it was created, not a sign of anybody dead or alive ever inhabiting it.
Mfker, did we dig up the wrong grave, someone shouts. What idiot would bury an empty coffin, someone else shouts. Is this about ghosts and things like that because I dont like that sort of drama, we should go home if it's something related to spooky stuff. This is not what we were told, says someone rather passionately.
Everyone is trying to figure out the coffin. No one pays attention to the slow heavy breathing from far away, slowly getting louder. Crunches and crankles. Thwaaap, thwuuup, thwuup, something soft being flung about. It gets louder and louder.
What's that sound, the 'not into ghosts' guy says. Quiet. Thwuuup thuwuup thwuump, the sound is gradually getting louder. Strong men aren't always brave men. There's a school of thought that argues that strong men are the most scared men, they cultivate their strength to protect themselves fro unknown terrors. Such as the one they can feel coming to them.
Travel psych
So I missed out a couple of posts on Friday which is yesterday because I got back later than I thought, hung out with roommates later than I should have, and imbibed when when it wasn't medically necessary to do so. Fine, whatever.
There's five days to go to Singapore, fifteen to Nepal. I was last in singapore ten years ago, Kathmandu was slightly more than two years ago. Singapore changes a lot in a decade, I'm told, there's new malls, neighborhoods, entire parts of the city have been redone apparently. To survive Singapore most reinvent constantly. And the other thing I hear is that Kathmandu's changed quite a bit in the lastalmost-three years, with tootle and other ridesharing things, home delivery services, etcetera. Lots of new restaurants too they say, quite excited about that, need to find someone to explore those places.
Have a quite of bit of socializing to do in Singapore too, we'll see how those go, because I'm meeting at least (!)three different groups of non-family folks, and it's going to be a family affair so there's already dozens of people to know and get caught up with.
And then Kathmandu's a whole different story. There's even fewer people there that I know than there used to be which wasn't that many at all. And they're going to be busy, otherwise occupied and other complicated situations, it's unclear how much hanging with friends is gonna happen there. Still, looking forward to going out of the house and exploring places and getting to know new people hopefully. Haven't made new friends and acquaintances in a long while.
Fingers crossed.
There's five days to go to Singapore, fifteen to Nepal. I was last in singapore ten years ago, Kathmandu was slightly more than two years ago. Singapore changes a lot in a decade, I'm told, there's new malls, neighborhoods, entire parts of the city have been redone apparently. To survive Singapore most reinvent constantly. And the other thing I hear is that Kathmandu's changed quite a bit in the lastalmost-three years, with tootle and other ridesharing things, home delivery services, etcetera. Lots of new restaurants too they say, quite excited about that, need to find someone to explore those places.
Have a quite of bit of socializing to do in Singapore too, we'll see how those go, because I'm meeting at least (!)three different groups of non-family folks, and it's going to be a family affair so there's already dozens of people to know and get caught up with.
And then Kathmandu's a whole different story. There's even fewer people there that I know than there used to be which wasn't that many at all. And they're going to be busy, otherwise occupied and other complicated situations, it's unclear how much hanging with friends is gonna happen there. Still, looking forward to going out of the house and exploring places and getting to know new people hopefully. Haven't made new friends and acquaintances in a long while.
Fingers crossed.
Bullshit kathmandu days
Okay, this is bit of an experimental piece. I used to do a LOT of these way back, but fell out of them because they're sort of easy, and the 'stream of consciousness' pattern only works for certain kinds of narratives. Also if I may dare say so, it's a little easier in that it's really hard for anyone to fairly evaluate it against, so it's like setting your own exam, grading it yourself, and acing it. It's fun for a while but if your interests lie in getting conventional readership they don't help much. Still, I'm running out of ideas and have a tonne of chores to complete, so here goes nothing.
Who who let the dogs out he wondered what are the dogs even are the dogs supposed to be like metaphors to horny guys who are set upon unsuspecting women to creep and scare the shit out of them because nothing makes sense otherwise. Everyone's bowbowing like dogs ears and all so strange it's almost like one of those experimental art pieces no one can make heads or tails out of but the theme was catchy the music was fine and the voice was nothing to brag about but well it made it into popular culture so he wasn't anyone to complain he wasn't like a critic or anything so good for them gooood for them. It was rainy and he didn't want to go anywhere faraway but the gang had set shop in sanepa which in Kathmandu's rain traffic meant at least 45 minutes. Fourty-five minutes of doing nothing maybe staring at his cellphone which he didn't mind because that's what he did all day long anyway but his problem with using cellphone inside taxis was when he came out he felt very nauseous, but not during the taxirides so strange. So their plan was to smoke up get a couple of beers each and then hit the clubs in thamel and then to durbarmarg when someone had claimed things would really start warming he didn't care for the clubs honestly everyone thought clubs in kathmandu were the shit and talked nonstop about this new brand of bullshit kinda clubs that were opening everywhere and all the girls said there were no creepy guys there because the bouncers were very strict or whatever but what the hell that's basic fucking human rights bullshit the police should be doing that everywhere anyway and having that in a bar doesn't make it better in fact Kathmandu's clubs compared nowhere close to even second/third-rate Indian cities like Chennai or Bangalore. He'd even go as far as saying that Pokhara had a better night scene than Kathmandu but of course the thamel-durbarbarg-baluwatar-lazimpat crowd would blow their tops off if he said that. He had to be respectful and shit. He didn't care he was here for what three more weeks and he couldn't wait to go back, he didn't care for the fucking party scene he didn't care for the fucking delivery services he didn't care for how much easier it was to ride the goddamn taxis he didn't care how many air quality monitors there were. The quality of life was objectively bad and as bad as it had ever been. If you need to worry about lungs cancer and asthma every day when you leave home, if everyday there's an inch-thick layer of dust inside your house, it's not a good place you're living in. The solution is not to open nicer nightclubs or faster taxis or what other bullshit nonsense they'd come up with it was to change your fucking culture to be more respectful of people and their lives and their right to live survive and thrive and noone gave a damn about that so nothing mattered anyway. It was all bullshit.
Who who let the dogs out he wondered what are the dogs even are the dogs supposed to be like metaphors to horny guys who are set upon unsuspecting women to creep and scare the shit out of them because nothing makes sense otherwise. Everyone's bowbowing like dogs ears and all so strange it's almost like one of those experimental art pieces no one can make heads or tails out of but the theme was catchy the music was fine and the voice was nothing to brag about but well it made it into popular culture so he wasn't anyone to complain he wasn't like a critic or anything so good for them gooood for them. It was rainy and he didn't want to go anywhere faraway but the gang had set shop in sanepa which in Kathmandu's rain traffic meant at least 45 minutes. Fourty-five minutes of doing nothing maybe staring at his cellphone which he didn't mind because that's what he did all day long anyway but his problem with using cellphone inside taxis was when he came out he felt very nauseous, but not during the taxirides so strange. So their plan was to smoke up get a couple of beers each and then hit the clubs in thamel and then to durbarmarg when someone had claimed things would really start warming he didn't care for the clubs honestly everyone thought clubs in kathmandu were the shit and talked nonstop about this new brand of bullshit kinda clubs that were opening everywhere and all the girls said there were no creepy guys there because the bouncers were very strict or whatever but what the hell that's basic fucking human rights bullshit the police should be doing that everywhere anyway and having that in a bar doesn't make it better in fact Kathmandu's clubs compared nowhere close to even second/third-rate Indian cities like Chennai or Bangalore. He'd even go as far as saying that Pokhara had a better night scene than Kathmandu but of course the thamel-durbarbarg-baluwatar-lazimpat crowd would blow their tops off if he said that. He had to be respectful and shit. He didn't care he was here for what three more weeks and he couldn't wait to go back, he didn't care for the fucking party scene he didn't care for the fucking delivery services he didn't care for how much easier it was to ride the goddamn taxis he didn't care how many air quality monitors there were. The quality of life was objectively bad and as bad as it had ever been. If you need to worry about lungs cancer and asthma every day when you leave home, if everyday there's an inch-thick layer of dust inside your house, it's not a good place you're living in. The solution is not to open nicer nightclubs or faster taxis or what other bullshit nonsense they'd come up with it was to change your fucking culture to be more respectful of people and their lives and their right to live survive and thrive and noone gave a damn about that so nothing mattered anyway. It was all bullshit.
Kids regrets and child gap
The children didn't want to come home, they'd have to be lured back with promises of all things great and tasty! We're making momos, they'd need to be told, or look someone brought you a candy, or okay you can watch the tv for an hour extra as long as you do your homework! He remembered fondly how they wanted to spend so much time outside the house! Doing physical workouts and exploring the world having adventures talking to people doing all sorts of interesting things like he had done as a child.
And now. How things had changed. Kids needed to be forced to go outside and even then they absolutely refused to have adventures. They were all stuck in those four inches of bright screen, talking to each other having weird cyber adventures, their bodies falling apart from disuse. Children should be active, they should move around want to explore things get to know the culture get familiar with their neighbors and the surroundings! Not the kids these days though, all they cared for was facebook and youtube and chatting and tiktok and making stupid faces taking stupid pictures in voices that sounded like mice's. That was all. And it was stupid.
He wished he didn't have to go through all of that again, not that he was complaining. Close family hadn't said anything about the gap, but strangers had talked of course, he wasn't happy but then he couldn't blame them either. Twenty year gap between your two children is a long time, and his wife was almost getting a bit too old for this. The doctors had warned there could be complications, it was their luck there hadn't been, but it could have been really bad. While their friends were enjoying their lives as grandparents -- which they hoped to be able to do soon also -- they had to redo everything from twenty years ago. And things had changed so much since then, not just the technology but society had become more individualistic and selfish he hadn't thought about how much harder it was before he had to do it. And everything was so much more expensive, even with the increased income! Bringing up two kids in this age would have been impossible, he was glad they had their first early on.
And now. How things had changed. Kids needed to be forced to go outside and even then they absolutely refused to have adventures. They were all stuck in those four inches of bright screen, talking to each other having weird cyber adventures, their bodies falling apart from disuse. Children should be active, they should move around want to explore things get to know the culture get familiar with their neighbors and the surroundings! Not the kids these days though, all they cared for was facebook and youtube and chatting and tiktok and making stupid faces taking stupid pictures in voices that sounded like mice's. That was all. And it was stupid.
He wished he didn't have to go through all of that again, not that he was complaining. Close family hadn't said anything about the gap, but strangers had talked of course, he wasn't happy but then he couldn't blame them either. Twenty year gap between your two children is a long time, and his wife was almost getting a bit too old for this. The doctors had warned there could be complications, it was their luck there hadn't been, but it could have been really bad. While their friends were enjoying their lives as grandparents -- which they hoped to be able to do soon also -- they had to redo everything from twenty years ago. And things had changed so much since then, not just the technology but society had become more individualistic and selfish he hadn't thought about how much harder it was before he had to do it. And everything was so much more expensive, even with the increased income! Bringing up two kids in this age would have been impossible, he was glad they had their first early on.
Bugsqashathon [Thursday 24]
Got up wayy to early because I had to use the restroom, had trouble going back to sleep. Got up, did the chores, ate the fruits and got ready for the work. I was feeling a little low energy level, either due to low blood glucose, lack of sleep or a combination of both, regardless, at least I've honed it down to exact variables and I can work to mitigate them whenever I want.
Took the Orange line to work because why not, I did want to be to work early because our product launch is nearing and I didn't want to take a chance. Got into one of those nice fancy Orange line trains, so much standing space, I could have almost danced! I'm excited for more of those to be phased in as I suspect that'll lead to less crowded trains in the short term. Didn't want to take the Green line because the wait was too long so stayed in the train until Downtown Crossing, where I got off. My plan was to walk over to Park St, and take the Green Line from there, I'd get a bit of a walk but still make it to work reasonably quick without depending on the North Station. Saw my coworker KB at Park St who walks to work every day, walked with her to work which was a nice 10-minute conversation about everything including Singapore. She spent six months there last year, so I had some catching-up to do.
At work, we were in for an 11-hour bugathon in our 'war-room', where we sat in the same room all day long, debugging and testing our product, breaking it and fixing it, getting it all ready for the deployment to production. Had a couple of pieces of fruits and chickpea pasta. There's this company that sells chickpea pasta and Mac and cheese and oh boy are their products really great! With pesto and lot of olive oil, oof so good!
The breaking-and-fixing went on until 8 when we ordered dinner from a steak place. I ordered tofu, and mac and cheese, and texas toast as sides. When it came, I turned it into a giant sandwich, with tofu and mac&cheese in inside, with hot sauce to give it the flavor. My guess was that it wasn't going to be enough and 15 bucks for four slices of tofu was a rip-off but it was surprisingly great, was quite satisfied. Even though someone else ate the buttercake I'd ordered, but no matter.
I also earned some unexpected respect from coworkers after I had a large slice of pizza that was in the lobby after eating everything else and complaining how full I was. My justification was that I had been mentally prepared for some extra calories in the form of buttercake and if I was losing that might as well make for it with the pizza slice. Left work at about 8.30-ish, Green line to Park St and Park St to Davis in the Red Line. Stood on the train with coworkers GF and S, so didn't get to write the 'return' post. Who knows, if I'd written that, I may have written these posts too.
Anyway, got to Davis, took the 89, walked for 8 minutes back home, said hi too roommates BB and PK, and went to room to unwind. Fell asleep instantly, got up at 1200am, shifted to proper sleeping situation after changing, and that was it!
What a day, what a day!
Took the Orange line to work because why not, I did want to be to work early because our product launch is nearing and I didn't want to take a chance. Got into one of those nice fancy Orange line trains, so much standing space, I could have almost danced! I'm excited for more of those to be phased in as I suspect that'll lead to less crowded trains in the short term. Didn't want to take the Green line because the wait was too long so stayed in the train until Downtown Crossing, where I got off. My plan was to walk over to Park St, and take the Green Line from there, I'd get a bit of a walk but still make it to work reasonably quick without depending on the North Station. Saw my coworker KB at Park St who walks to work every day, walked with her to work which was a nice 10-minute conversation about everything including Singapore. She spent six months there last year, so I had some catching-up to do.
At work, we were in for an 11-hour bugathon in our 'war-room', where we sat in the same room all day long, debugging and testing our product, breaking it and fixing it, getting it all ready for the deployment to production. Had a couple of pieces of fruits and chickpea pasta. There's this company that sells chickpea pasta and Mac and cheese and oh boy are their products really great! With pesto and lot of olive oil, oof so good!
The breaking-and-fixing went on until 8 when we ordered dinner from a steak place. I ordered tofu, and mac and cheese, and texas toast as sides. When it came, I turned it into a giant sandwich, with tofu and mac&cheese in inside, with hot sauce to give it the flavor. My guess was that it wasn't going to be enough and 15 bucks for four slices of tofu was a rip-off but it was surprisingly great, was quite satisfied. Even though someone else ate the buttercake I'd ordered, but no matter.
I also earned some unexpected respect from coworkers after I had a large slice of pizza that was in the lobby after eating everything else and complaining how full I was. My justification was that I had been mentally prepared for some extra calories in the form of buttercake and if I was losing that might as well make for it with the pizza slice. Left work at about 8.30-ish, Green line to Park St and Park St to Davis in the Red Line. Stood on the train with coworkers GF and S, so didn't get to write the 'return' post. Who knows, if I'd written that, I may have written these posts too.
Anyway, got to Davis, took the 89, walked for 8 minutes back home, said hi too roommates BB and PK, and went to room to unwind. Fell asleep instantly, got up at 1200am, shifted to proper sleeping situation after changing, and that was it!
What a day, what a day!
On Amazon retail
I've said this many times before. I'd like to hate on Amazon, as a company, for their practices and their attitude towards their employees. But I can't. It's really really hard to. I haven't had Amazon prime for many years now, but still their service is impeccable, their dedication to customer satisfaction is unmatched, and technologically they're just so far ahead.
Case in point, I had to take a couple of deliveries today. Considering the history of our place, where a package has disappeared once in the past, there was concern I may not get it. So I checked the website and apparently they track the vehicles at a street level now, so I was able to wait for the driver in the porch because I could see him in the map! What an achievement, really! It's the small things that matter and Amazon really pays attention to the small things huh?
Case in point, I had to take a couple of deliveries today. Considering the history of our place, where a package has disappeared once in the past, there was concern I may not get it. So I checked the website and apparently they track the vehicles at a street level now, so I was able to wait for the driver in the porch because I could see him in the map! What an achievement, really! It's the small things that matter and Amazon really pays attention to the small things huh?
Thursday night lights
Some days I just can't.
It's Friday evening and I haven't posted for a day and a half. Last night I was at work quite late, came home, said hi to the roommates, fell on my bed, and just...fell asleep, to get up five hours later. Nothing I could would have stopped it. I'm not getting enough sleep because I need to use the restroom and then I can't go back to sleep. This is stupid but this is my life now, what to doo.
I thought the sleep last week was sufficient but clearly not. It's less than a week for me to leave for Singapore and home, and still haven't got my supplies in order. Expecting the deliveries today, fingers crossed it works out.
Yesterday I was so busy at work, I got nothing written. Wild, right?
And also ate so so much, more on that on the daily journal.
It's Friday evening and I haven't posted for a day and a half. Last night I was at work quite late, came home, said hi to the roommates, fell on my bed, and just...fell asleep, to get up five hours later. Nothing I could would have stopped it. I'm not getting enough sleep because I need to use the restroom and then I can't go back to sleep. This is stupid but this is my life now, what to doo.
I thought the sleep last week was sufficient but clearly not. It's less than a week for me to leave for Singapore and home, and still haven't got my supplies in order. Expecting the deliveries today, fingers crossed it works out.
Yesterday I was so busy at work, I got nothing written. Wild, right?
And also ate so so much, more on that on the daily journal.
Will the stories of the Winter hill be written by this writer
The area I live around is mostly students transplants and immigrants. And families who don't want to do very much with their neighborhood, the word shame may be accurately describe their situation. Due to zoning there aren't too many low-key storefronts, due to the weather there aren't many outdoors activities. So bear with me as I ask this difficult potentially explosive question: are there stories of winter hill and my neighborhood worth telling?
It's an immigrant neighborhood without the community. It's a young area without vitality. It's a historically interesting area without the pride. What is here to write about except as a sidenote to stories of other places and people from elsewhere?
Or perhaps it's me? I don't go to the Brazilian cafes enough, don't talk to the neighbors out on warm spring days except to play with their dogs. In my defense there's no unified story there's disparate people with their separate stories, and while they may make for interesting stories, a good neighborhood story they don't make. And allow me to blame the car and Uber centric culture here, unlike new York where you don't have th commuter-centric culture of a big city and you don't have the people-centric culture of a small place. We are uninteresting uninteracting molecules in a soup of...stuff...unable or unwilling to coalesce into something cool, worth than the sum total of our parts. The only thing that unites us is geography and our disinterest in interacting with one another.
So perhaps those stories will never get written because there aren't enough stories of the place to be worth putting down on ink and paper...
The Loch Ness monster, among other things
Animals, bizarre beings. Four legs, two eyes, one nose, one mouth, six whiskers -- in the cartoons anyway -- two pointy ears, two legs, two hands. What did I just describe to you? The Loch Ness monster. And the rewards for finding it? All the riches of Scotland. So what are you doing here reading this?
Days are getting longer -- it's bright earlier and it's bright till 5.15 almost versus a month ago when the Sun was down and it was pitch dark by 4.30. Temperatures are still intolerably cold but we've been fortunate with the snow this year, there's only been light dusting and the snow is still soft since it hasn't had the chance to thaw and refreeze as ice. Unclear if it's the brightness or the vitamins I'm taking but the gloomies that I feared so dearly in my former winters haven't afflicted me too much this season. The sleeplessness was causing issues but things have improved since the long weekend.
Then there's the fact that hangouts have been regular this year with different distinct groups, and potential for more. And I'm really engaged with this blog, the letters, the readings so one could argue the gloomies haven't had the proper time and opportunity to get to me. If keeping yourself seriously busy was all it took, I'd have worked through like four novels already, and hung out with cool peeps.
Yeah this is going to be a short one, work's busy need to be in on time.
Days are getting longer -- it's bright earlier and it's bright till 5.15 almost versus a month ago when the Sun was down and it was pitch dark by 4.30. Temperatures are still intolerably cold but we've been fortunate with the snow this year, there's only been light dusting and the snow is still soft since it hasn't had the chance to thaw and refreeze as ice. Unclear if it's the brightness or the vitamins I'm taking but the gloomies that I feared so dearly in my former winters haven't afflicted me too much this season. The sleeplessness was causing issues but things have improved since the long weekend.
Then there's the fact that hangouts have been regular this year with different distinct groups, and potential for more. And I'm really engaged with this blog, the letters, the readings so one could argue the gloomies haven't had the proper time and opportunity to get to me. If keeping yourself seriously busy was all it took, I'd have worked through like four novels already, and hung out with cool peeps.
Yeah this is going to be a short one, work's busy need to be in on time.
A therapeutic large art group [Wednesday 22]
It's 10.45 in the evening, I got home half an hour ago. Here's the things that happened today, in chronological order. Here we go.
Got up on time, out of the bed with full energy, cleaned up worked out wrote the morning post, and got going to work. Took the orange line because I wanted to go to work on time since our production release is coming soon, I'm a littlee bit stressed out and want to do as much work out of the door as possible. The 101 was pretty comfortable, got solid writing done and didn't even have to wait for it. Got right in time for the train at Sullivan, where I almost didn't make it because it was so packed but pushed in to become the last person in. Since the Green line was broken today took the Orange Line to Back bay and walked to work there the entire trip ended up taking 44 minutes, which is 11 minutes shorter than the best-case scenario for the red line.
At work, got to working seriously and testing right away. Lots of fruit-eating, bringing up the snacks from downstairs and getting ready for production. Spent the lunchtime talking to the managers, testing more, helping folks discover bugs, and testing more things. Apparently one of the things we're doing is untestable, but I'll talk to my manager to figure out ways around it. Chatted to a coworker on slack about interesting opportunities for her inside the company and the places they're considering moving to migrate within different teams.
Wanted to something after work, confirmed with roommate PK that we were going to Zone 3 for the art event, he had made alternative plans. Texted SS & Sr, and SS and JM, SS (Alston) said that she had already made plans with someone else to be there which was a bummer but thankfully SS&JM (Phd) had no other plans so agreed to go with them.
Stayed at work for 45 minutes extra to make sure everything was working, was one of the last people to leave. Took the Green to Park St, Red to Central and the 70 bus to Zone 3. SS was waiting there for us, and she'd saved seats for all of us. Did a couple of portraits of her, SS+Jm showed up, informed us it was his birthday also brought really high-quality snacks Nepali and otherwise which we finished completely. Sbk and his brother (who had made plans with her earlier) showed up the group was complete and did art for another hour. Had amazing pizza earlier, with selzter so filling. I generally don't like pizza but their cheese pizza was quite good. Since Sbk and bro didn't get to eat, they wanted to go somewhere to eat, SS (Alston) wanted to go home, so we left the area, and the boys waited for home while SS headed home. Sigh, there's a party in our place on Friday so there's one thing to look forward to, and also seeing people on Saturday or Sunday and then tuesday again how am I so insecure.
We went to Felipe's where I said I'd buy him dinner but Sbk got there faster. As they ate their rice bowls and chimichangas, we talked about future plans, past plans, workout plans, meditations, live love and profession. At 9.30 ish all of us left for our places -- sbk and bro took the red line southbound and we took the bus 96. In the bus I told SS and JM things I'd never tell anyone, and they were super supportive but not in particularly helpful way, isn't that how things always are. Got dropped in front of Tufts, walked home, worked out a bit, wrote two posts before this, and here we are. There's some workout and reading of book left, will probably skip the letter writing and showering for tomorrow. Going to bed in ten minutes hopefully. It's been an amazing day, I feel very liquidy.
Got up on time, out of the bed with full energy, cleaned up worked out wrote the morning post, and got going to work. Took the orange line because I wanted to go to work on time since our production release is coming soon, I'm a littlee bit stressed out and want to do as much work out of the door as possible. The 101 was pretty comfortable, got solid writing done and didn't even have to wait for it. Got right in time for the train at Sullivan, where I almost didn't make it because it was so packed but pushed in to become the last person in. Since the Green line was broken today took the Orange Line to Back bay and walked to work there the entire trip ended up taking 44 minutes, which is 11 minutes shorter than the best-case scenario for the red line.
At work, got to working seriously and testing right away. Lots of fruit-eating, bringing up the snacks from downstairs and getting ready for production. Spent the lunchtime talking to the managers, testing more, helping folks discover bugs, and testing more things. Apparently one of the things we're doing is untestable, but I'll talk to my manager to figure out ways around it. Chatted to a coworker on slack about interesting opportunities for her inside the company and the places they're considering moving to migrate within different teams.
Wanted to something after work, confirmed with roommate PK that we were going to Zone 3 for the art event, he had made alternative plans. Texted SS & Sr, and SS and JM, SS (Alston) said that she had already made plans with someone else to be there which was a bummer but thankfully SS&JM (Phd) had no other plans so agreed to go with them.
Stayed at work for 45 minutes extra to make sure everything was working, was one of the last people to leave. Took the Green to Park St, Red to Central and the 70 bus to Zone 3. SS was waiting there for us, and she'd saved seats for all of us. Did a couple of portraits of her, SS+Jm showed up, informed us it was his birthday also brought really high-quality snacks Nepali and otherwise which we finished completely. Sbk and his brother (who had made plans with her earlier) showed up the group was complete and did art for another hour. Had amazing pizza earlier, with selzter so filling. I generally don't like pizza but their cheese pizza was quite good. Since Sbk and bro didn't get to eat, they wanted to go somewhere to eat, SS (Alston) wanted to go home, so we left the area, and the boys waited for home while SS headed home. Sigh, there's a party in our place on Friday so there's one thing to look forward to, and also seeing people on Saturday or Sunday and then tuesday again how am I so insecure.
We went to Felipe's where I said I'd buy him dinner but Sbk got there faster. As they ate their rice bowls and chimichangas, we talked about future plans, past plans, workout plans, meditations, live love and profession. At 9.30 ish all of us left for our places -- sbk and bro took the red line southbound and we took the bus 96. In the bus I told SS and JM things I'd never tell anyone, and they were super supportive but not in particularly helpful way, isn't that how things always are. Got dropped in front of Tufts, walked home, worked out a bit, wrote two posts before this, and here we are. There's some workout and reading of book left, will probably skip the letter writing and showering for tomorrow. Going to bed in ten minutes hopefully. It's been an amazing day, I feel very liquidy.
Food (maybe for thought, maybe just in general)
More recently I've been trying to cut down on the lunch as proper dinners and meals have gone down due to several distractions as well as being involved in writing so much there's not a lot of time to do much else. Oats, chocolate, nuts cheese, snacks sometimes, that's what it's been like. This week in particular, after I stole got some fruits from the dining halls, I've been having several pieces of fruits for lunch and to be quite honest, it's been good. Like yeah, a pizza here and there I don't mind but when it starts becoming a regular thing it's a bit too much you know? So instead here's an apple, a peach, a blood orange and a banana, some pieces of mixed nuts and a small bar of dark chocolate, and that's your healthy all-rounded lunch better than 90 percent of the population's right there. Yeah it's not a complete meal, I still need the green veggies and minerals wherever they come from but people aren't getting those for lunch anyway. By cutting down on those empty carbs and calories, I'm taking positive steps towards a more restrained, healthy, and aware form of eating. I'm loving it, as they say.
Shaken, not stirred
Take it easy, it's not a big deal. Was talking to SS (the Phd) and JM on our way back on the bus. We were (I was) talking about having our breaths taken away and I said such events have happened to me in recent times and there's a certain amount of uncertainty and indecision around what the ideal course of action is in such circumstances. Being extremely risk-averse person that I am, I was of the opinion that the best course of action is often no action at all and things somehow take care of themselves and everything is fine. Which is accurate and all, but against the spirit of the theme of 2020 which was supposed to be the year of action, the year of doing, daring and making the jump because why not you live but once, no?
In any case, things were said, and feedback was given, and plans for a later meeting were made because I'm going to be away for a month starting next week and won't see the nearest and the dearest all that time. More importantly, I don't talk to people on the phone or anything so that's going to be harder. So yeah the people we met today, we'll be seeing them again Friday, Saturday and Tuesday. I like to have a close group of cool friends whose company I enjoy, okay and what if some members of those friends happen to be single attractive women friends who no one would be opposed to seeing a lot more often because that's how people are, alright, no big deal. Why am I being hounded anyway, I'm not the criminal, it's the murderers who are under interrogation, why don't you go bother them.
Anyway. Yeah. Nothing more to add. This was supposed to be a bus post but not enough time energy or emotional energy to post on the bus, so posting this at 10.30 in the evening. Toodles.
In any case, things were said, and feedback was given, and plans for a later meeting were made because I'm going to be away for a month starting next week and won't see the nearest and the dearest all that time. More importantly, I don't talk to people on the phone or anything so that's going to be harder. So yeah the people we met today, we'll be seeing them again Friday, Saturday and Tuesday. I like to have a close group of cool friends whose company I enjoy, okay and what if some members of those friends happen to be single attractive women friends who no one would be opposed to seeing a lot more often because that's how people are, alright, no big deal. Why am I being hounded anyway, I'm not the criminal, it's the murderers who are under interrogation, why don't you go bother them.
Anyway. Yeah. Nothing more to add. This was supposed to be a bus post but not enough time energy or emotional energy to post on the bus, so posting this at 10.30 in the evening. Toodles.
Corona virus
Corona is crown in Spanish. Virus is virus in many languages. It's a royal disease that only afflicted the rich powerful and th fabulous in the days gone by but now any rando to his at the right place at the right time can contract it. How things have changed ahhh.
On a mor serious note, I'm traveling to South East Asia in ten days very close to the Chinese New Year. It's that time or the year when the biggest human migration ever happens every year, everyone's traveling. And what better time for a disease to get around than this eh?
Apparently there's a couple of direct flights from wherever the virus has hit directly in China and NYC and LA. Boston is quite close to NYC, they've discovered a few cases of the virus in this country too. My coworkers warned me to be careful on my trip, get a mask and avoid close direct contact with strangers. It's unclear if the mask would do anything other than make me look cool and filter out the dust but hey at least no one's being fatalistic here.
And now roommate BB who has somehow never heard of the disease, and was scared when I told him about it last night, thinks he's been showing symptoms of the disease sans the fever for a long time. Lol, he says, imma he Hella sick if what I have is this. Such buffoonery.
In any case it's not like I know any better either. Does the disease kill? Idk. Are there vaccines for it? Who knows. Etcetera etcetera. In this information-heavy world the ignorance has become a point of pride, how sad.
Mara's getting married
So when Mara Mae told her best friend she was going to get married to Raghu Thapa, where wasn't as much celebration as she hoped there would be. I'm so happy for you, said Smriti, and I hope you guys are together forever. So quick, I didn't even know you were seeing him, good for you, this is one of your life's greatest moments, and really nothing or noone should come in the way of your happiness, everything's gonna go great, and it'll be awesome. Awesome awesome awesome, I'm soo soo happy for you! Oh I forgot to congratulate you I think, congratulations on getting engaged and ready to get married, and while I'd have liked a heads up before I'm really really excited for you guys. Real excited.
What's up? What are you not telling me? Quick spit it out Smrits, Mara said. She was a particularly observant person, she knew how her friend worked and what each of the tone of her voice meant.
Nothing, really, this is all so so great and it would be really crappy of me to tell you something bad about your fiancee. Yeah, I'm sure he's an incredible human being and he'll have perfectly good explanations for each of the little thing and you'll be mad at me for not being fully happy with your momentous occasion, stop talking to me and that'll be the end of it. Actually, that might happen either way considering... Anyway Mara, I'll warn you, he's not the nicest guy in the world. He's creeped out a lott of people I know -- nothing overtly physical, that I know of anyway, but who goes around, sending links to porn to casual women friends they barely know from college? And who the fuck tells an acquaintance they just met that they're fuckable and no that's a compliment, when the mutual friend's gone away for a moment. And so on and on and on. And I'm really happy for you really, but I think that person's a manipulative, psychotic asshole creep and you deserve so much better, so so much. But if you've decided that this is really the one, and nothing can convince you otherwise, I have only good wishes for you! He was probably just an idiot who's reformed now, you like him and fell in love with him so clearly there's another side of him that nobody told me about, and that's something new. Maybe he's a great guy and I happened to hear just the bad stories. Don't give this too much thought babe, Smriti said, tears in her eyes.
Mara paused for a moment. She'd open her mouth as if to say something and exhale without any words, uncertain how to phrase. She was sweating a little, it wasn't very warm in there. She shut her eyes for what seemed like a long time. Tiny pearls of tears appeared on her eyebrows, spreading around kohl and eyeliner. She sobbed. Once, twice, thrice.
I'll give your words a little thought, babe, she said finally, I need a little time to process all of this new information. I'll be back, she said, as she left the room in a horry.
What's up? What are you not telling me? Quick spit it out Smrits, Mara said. She was a particularly observant person, she knew how her friend worked and what each of the tone of her voice meant.
Nothing, really, this is all so so great and it would be really crappy of me to tell you something bad about your fiancee. Yeah, I'm sure he's an incredible human being and he'll have perfectly good explanations for each of the little thing and you'll be mad at me for not being fully happy with your momentous occasion, stop talking to me and that'll be the end of it. Actually, that might happen either way considering... Anyway Mara, I'll warn you, he's not the nicest guy in the world. He's creeped out a lott of people I know -- nothing overtly physical, that I know of anyway, but who goes around, sending links to porn to casual women friends they barely know from college? And who the fuck tells an acquaintance they just met that they're fuckable and no that's a compliment, when the mutual friend's gone away for a moment. And so on and on and on. And I'm really happy for you really, but I think that person's a manipulative, psychotic asshole creep and you deserve so much better, so so much. But if you've decided that this is really the one, and nothing can convince you otherwise, I have only good wishes for you! He was probably just an idiot who's reformed now, you like him and fell in love with him so clearly there's another side of him that nobody told me about, and that's something new. Maybe he's a great guy and I happened to hear just the bad stories. Don't give this too much thought babe, Smriti said, tears in her eyes.
Mara paused for a moment. She'd open her mouth as if to say something and exhale without any words, uncertain how to phrase. She was sweating a little, it wasn't very warm in there. She shut her eyes for what seemed like a long time. Tiny pearls of tears appeared on her eyebrows, spreading around kohl and eyeliner. She sobbed. Once, twice, thrice.
I'll give your words a little thought, babe, she said finally, I need a little time to process all of this new information. I'll be back, she said, as she left the room in a horry.
Butternut Squash Soup day [Tuesday 21]
Got up really early today, and used the restroom, unfortunately for some reason started killing time randomly by going to bs news-sites. Then I needed to use the restroom which was obviously occupied, and I couldn't work out or do anything in that time, and the writing was rushed too. So ended up leaving home late and tired without much proper sleep, took the Orange line because important things are happening at work and didn't want to get in too late.
Work was really productive, lots of work stuff done, didn't get a lot of writing done but whatever. There was a lunch-and-learn thing over lunch, ate a lot of pizza oh man do I love Cappy's Cheese pizza it's so greasy and simple and so good and that coming from someone who doesn't even like Pizzas! Got back to testing after lunch, left work at 4.45, took the red line where I fell asleep while posting my evening post, to Davis, walked home while listening to the latest episode of the HDTGM for probably the seventh time.
Back home, read books, worked out, caught up with roommates, and talked to semi-roommates I and roommate PK's friend A who were over. Roommate BB made corn chowder soup and I made butternut squash soup which was actually really good even though I put in spices that didn't get blended well enough so the texture was a little weird. Still, it was tasty and filling. Over dinner I watched Shark Tank with everyone, going to my room to do the pushups in between. Had done pretty much everything by 10, then started ordering items to take home, which took almost an hour. Also, I've been killing the 'slack time' by just wasting it on news sites, solid hour or two wasted over today doing that, need to fix that. At 95 pushups, still reading Genghis Khan book, and did the situps in the evening. The Genghis Khan book is almost over, what an achievement, that actually warrants celebration not even kidding. Wrote 1.5 letters today, the half one is probably going to be hand-delivered because reasons. My shopping for the upcoming journey is over so at least that's looking good.
Done with all the chores and cleaning up, will do the personal journal after this, brush and go to bed. Will shower tomorrow morning by getting up early because need to get in the habit of early-to-bed, since getting up is pretty much always the same no matter how many times I snooze.
Work was really productive, lots of work stuff done, didn't get a lot of writing done but whatever. There was a lunch-and-learn thing over lunch, ate a lot of pizza oh man do I love Cappy's Cheese pizza it's so greasy and simple and so good and that coming from someone who doesn't even like Pizzas! Got back to testing after lunch, left work at 4.45, took the red line where I fell asleep while posting my evening post, to Davis, walked home while listening to the latest episode of the HDTGM for probably the seventh time.
Back home, read books, worked out, caught up with roommates, and talked to semi-roommates I and roommate PK's friend A who were over. Roommate BB made corn chowder soup and I made butternut squash soup which was actually really good even though I put in spices that didn't get blended well enough so the texture was a little weird. Still, it was tasty and filling. Over dinner I watched Shark Tank with everyone, going to my room to do the pushups in between. Had done pretty much everything by 10, then started ordering items to take home, which took almost an hour. Also, I've been killing the 'slack time' by just wasting it on news sites, solid hour or two wasted over today doing that, need to fix that. At 95 pushups, still reading Genghis Khan book, and did the situps in the evening. The Genghis Khan book is almost over, what an achievement, that actually warrants celebration not even kidding. Wrote 1.5 letters today, the half one is probably going to be hand-delivered because reasons. My shopping for the upcoming journey is over so at least that's looking good.
Done with all the chores and cleaning up, will do the personal journal after this, brush and go to bed. Will shower tomorrow morning by getting up early because need to get in the habit of early-to-bed, since getting up is pretty much always the same no matter how many times I snooze.
A month of letter-writing: A retrospective
I've been writing letters for a month now, somewhat irregularly -- it's the most irregular of my planned checklist activities -- but frequently enough that I've sent it to multiple dozens friends, acquaintances and loved ones. Sometimes I'll be lazy like right now and delay the actual posting of the letters -- have seven letters that need posting, but once they get posted, they make their way to their recipients eventually. I've begun receiving the responses of the first round now.
A few weeks back I wondered, why was I doing this, so much effort and cost, when I could just as easily (actually much much easily) be texting them, talking to them, even seeing their faces while saving myself the time and energy. And here's the answer to that: there's a value in the asynchronous nature of letter-writing, the fact that it's not somewhere waiting for you to check out, that the sender doesn't even know you've received it, and that they're in no way required or expected to respond to it. The friction involved in writing the letters itself is important, it clears the mind on what's important and what's not, what can fit within those hundred words, and how you really don't need to communicate much -- communication can actually be summarized to couple of hundreds of words over a month if you really trimmed it down. And finally, it doesn't feel like I'm staying in touch with people just for the sake of doing it, but there's actually value in doing it.
So, review: I"m loving it. Really. I hope I can keep doing it while I'm traveling, that honestly seems quite doubtful but I wish. It would be such a great experience for all my friends to receive postcards from Nepal in this day and age. And that's what's it's all about I think. The effort it takes to produce these pieces of communication, not only do they really make you think about the persons you're sending to, but the receivers realize that you do value them and their bond, for not everyone takes 15 minutes and a letter, plus the postage and the addressing, to send them 'hey what's up' messages. One more thing, the more I write letters the better I seem to be getting at it, and the more clear my thought process is getting on what I want to talk to them about. It's almost like being with them right there! Which is the opposite of what you'd expect.
Writing of the letters is down to 10 minutes, the arms and wrists hurt, but it's totally doable. Not sure if it's going to go down any more than that, but if I can do that in 7/8 minutes and can get two letters out in a day in 15-ish minute commitment daily, that would be incredible. That would mean I could reach out to 40-ish people every month, which is quite a bit more than the number of people I reach out to on text or on various social media apps. I'm really looking forward to it! $20 a month to be able to handwrite, care for your friends, and actually have them know you care about them is a very small price to pay. And the feeling cannot be automated away.
A few weeks back I wondered, why was I doing this, so much effort and cost, when I could just as easily (actually much much easily) be texting them, talking to them, even seeing their faces while saving myself the time and energy. And here's the answer to that: there's a value in the asynchronous nature of letter-writing, the fact that it's not somewhere waiting for you to check out, that the sender doesn't even know you've received it, and that they're in no way required or expected to respond to it. The friction involved in writing the letters itself is important, it clears the mind on what's important and what's not, what can fit within those hundred words, and how you really don't need to communicate much -- communication can actually be summarized to couple of hundreds of words over a month if you really trimmed it down. And finally, it doesn't feel like I'm staying in touch with people just for the sake of doing it, but there's actually value in doing it.
So, review: I"m loving it. Really. I hope I can keep doing it while I'm traveling, that honestly seems quite doubtful but I wish. It would be such a great experience for all my friends to receive postcards from Nepal in this day and age. And that's what's it's all about I think. The effort it takes to produce these pieces of communication, not only do they really make you think about the persons you're sending to, but the receivers realize that you do value them and their bond, for not everyone takes 15 minutes and a letter, plus the postage and the addressing, to send them 'hey what's up' messages. One more thing, the more I write letters the better I seem to be getting at it, and the more clear my thought process is getting on what I want to talk to them about. It's almost like being with them right there! Which is the opposite of what you'd expect.
Writing of the letters is down to 10 minutes, the arms and wrists hurt, but it's totally doable. Not sure if it's going to go down any more than that, but if I can do that in 7/8 minutes and can get two letters out in a day in 15-ish minute commitment daily, that would be incredible. That would mean I could reach out to 40-ish people every month, which is quite a bit more than the number of people I reach out to on text or on various social media apps. I'm really looking forward to it! $20 a month to be able to handwrite, care for your friends, and actually have them know you care about them is a very small price to pay. And the feeling cannot be automated away.
Careless ghosts
Ghosts are crazy people, if you don't know them. They walk through the walls giving no fucks, scare the shit out of whoever will appear in front of them, don't care about the monetary value of the houses and places they're haunting, and are careless with their body parts. If you're a goddamn ethereal appearance who's got superpowers humans can only dream of, maybe consider keeping proper log of where you head is. It should be embarrassing to be such a powerful entity and openly admit that they lost their head. Nawh you didn't lose it, you just misplaced it if you just carefully look around you can definitely find it again. Just check underneath the couch below the dining table and one of those higher shelves in the kitchen. It's hard to remember putting an extra head up there at time of convenience because you can't bring yourself to that mindset but if you're like that definitely consider keeping tracker in all of your body parts.
Still someone who doesn't need food to sustain and doesn't need anything to keep themselves in arm as well as scaring the most powerful people should have a better station in life. More friends bigger networks less accountability. It would blur suspicious activities.
Dreams of perfect Korean stories
Everyone wants to be Korean in Kathmandu. The boys have their Korean hearthrob haircuts and eyeliners T-shirts they even talk like they're in Korean dramas. And the girls dress like the pretty Korean girls and expect to be swooped off their feet by a brooding cuteboy who has SO much pain and conflict inside him your never know by just looking at him because he's so goddamn pretty. And oh he's ripped inside his tees but you'd never know about that because he's not a showoff bro, he's just there doing his things and somehow accidentally the t shifts up and she realises yes that's the dream dreamy boy.
You can't just transcend hundreds of years of resistance to change and innate boringness in a decade though. No no no no. So the dates may look similar but there's always a datefriend hovering around, and the dates somehow never get quite as well with the friends as they do in the shows. The spark's just not there. The actors look perfect the setting is as good as it gets and the circumstances are conducive. And yet. It's almost as if someone decided to make a TV show but forgot the must fundamental ingredient. The soul.
Relationships flounder and flip and flop until they die a slow painful death because no one can admit their lives are not perfectly directed and choreographed. The love stories that would have been don't because all the authenticity of experience of shared culture identity is out of the window in search for the perfect Korean love story.
But life moves in. Eventually they both find partners get married and keep watching the shows. A secret hope that real life may emulate that on screen some day. The next generations Korean dreams are just beginning though.
Here we go again.
Hard to come up with new ideas
Can't write anything, perhaps I've exhausted all the idea things in my head it could also be that I'm in some amount of internal pressure that cannot be gotten rid of at this point. Still I look at the screen and can't think of a thing I want to write maybe I should stop playing the office on the side, and there's the pressure of morning chores that need to be completed before going to work. The only thing I can do under such circumstances is doing this...writing how hard it is to write, complaining about the lack of original ideas, that I'm not really an inspired person, that you need real inspiration to become a writer and actually be out and about in the world and observe how human beings interact with each other. All of which I'm not doing while still throwing out thousands, tens of thousands of words every day because I haven't been on top of my game with the daily posts.
In any case, my theory that the more I write at work with random stuff, the more I get inspired to write here as I can use it as a testing ground for my ideas may have some worth. And additionally, this is a testing ground for more advanced ideas that I can present somewhere. As we're on the topic of writing, I'd like to bring up the promise of me contributing for the papers, and how I was going to start doing that. Haven't been able to follow up on that because I look at the papers everyday and there's nothing really that inspires me...the politics is lame and vicious and nothing funny or interesting or innovative. People wouldn't want to read any uninformed commentary or fictionalized versions because they already live through it all everyday, more like suffer through it. Still, have to start writing for the papers or else.
In any case, my theory that the more I write at work with random stuff, the more I get inspired to write here as I can use it as a testing ground for my ideas may have some worth. And additionally, this is a testing ground for more advanced ideas that I can present somewhere. As we're on the topic of writing, I'd like to bring up the promise of me contributing for the papers, and how I was going to start doing that. Haven't been able to follow up on that because I look at the papers everyday and there's nothing really that inspires me...the politics is lame and vicious and nothing funny or interesting or innovative. People wouldn't want to read any uninformed commentary or fictionalized versions because they already live through it all everyday, more like suffer through it. Still, have to start writing for the papers or else.
A productive day to end the long weekend [Monday 20]
It's 9.50 in the evening, finished two-thirds of the pushups and every other chore. All that remains is letter-writing and washup (and the remaining third pushup) and it's bedtime. Freaking finally will I be back in form and on time to bed. In reverse chronological order, here's the things I did today. Here we go.
Got home at 7pm, talked to roommate PK and semi-roommate I whose apartment has been inundated by soot particles due to a broken furnace. Caught up with the gang, read couple of pages from the Genghis Khan book, tried writing a post but kept getting distracted, so cleaned up and did the workouts and finally got myself to write something. Have to set timers to get writing in order, or else I'm just wasting all the slack time I have which is the worst. Also realized that I'd brought in way too many fruits, more than twenty pieces which is enough to go around for as long as I'm here. Maybe I should share some of the fruits with the roommates.
Got to the Dewick dining hall at 11.15, fifteen minutes too late for breakfast but it was alright because the food was amazing. The italian sandwich was so good I'd have happily paid seven dollars for it, and had it for every day of the week for several weeks. And another sandwich. And the fries were so good. And the pizza. And the main entrees for both lunch and dinner. And it was just the lunch food, the dinner was equally good but by then I was so full I couldn't eat anything. Don't even remember how many rounds I had, it's such a great investment to show up at the dining hall in the morning and spend the entire day there. I should be doing this more often, not just for the food but as I said in an earlier post, also for the company socialization and sort of sociological research.
Got quite a lot of writing done -- eight posts in Dewick actually, as well as solid reading, youtubing great engineering channels, and talking to a bunch of nice random women. And the food. Good times were had, and that's all there is to say. Left for home at 6.40ish because the posts were done and I wanted enough slack space to write and for workouts. Listened to Conan O Brien podcast with Dana Carvey later on the way back.
Got up at 8 am, cleaned the house, set things in order, showered, did my work outs and got in the 'right mindset'. Psyched myself out my listening to music, slight cardio, and just ready for the day.
Felt well-rested, productive, fulfilled and generally quite happy today. The long weekend was extraordinarily productive in terms of personal growth, rest and learning. There's still a couple of things I need to figure out and do but that couldn't have been done over the weekend anyway so it's moot.
Nice weekend, hope to have othrs like this.
Got home at 7pm, talked to roommate PK and semi-roommate I whose apartment has been inundated by soot particles due to a broken furnace. Caught up with the gang, read couple of pages from the Genghis Khan book, tried writing a post but kept getting distracted, so cleaned up and did the workouts and finally got myself to write something. Have to set timers to get writing in order, or else I'm just wasting all the slack time I have which is the worst. Also realized that I'd brought in way too many fruits, more than twenty pieces which is enough to go around for as long as I'm here. Maybe I should share some of the fruits with the roommates.
Got to the Dewick dining hall at 11.15, fifteen minutes too late for breakfast but it was alright because the food was amazing. The italian sandwich was so good I'd have happily paid seven dollars for it, and had it for every day of the week for several weeks. And another sandwich. And the fries were so good. And the pizza. And the main entrees for both lunch and dinner. And it was just the lunch food, the dinner was equally good but by then I was so full I couldn't eat anything. Don't even remember how many rounds I had, it's such a great investment to show up at the dining hall in the morning and spend the entire day there. I should be doing this more often, not just for the food but as I said in an earlier post, also for the company socialization and sort of sociological research.
Got quite a lot of writing done -- eight posts in Dewick actually, as well as solid reading, youtubing great engineering channels, and talking to a bunch of nice random women. And the food. Good times were had, and that's all there is to say. Left for home at 6.40ish because the posts were done and I wanted enough slack space to write and for workouts. Listened to Conan O Brien podcast with Dana Carvey later on the way back.
Got up at 8 am, cleaned the house, set things in order, showered, did my work outs and got in the 'right mindset'. Psyched myself out my listening to music, slight cardio, and just ready for the day.
Felt well-rested, productive, fulfilled and generally quite happy today. The long weekend was extraordinarily productive in terms of personal growth, rest and learning. There's still a couple of things I need to figure out and do but that couldn't have been done over the weekend anyway so it's moot.
Nice weekend, hope to have othrs like this.
How to go about getting into Kathmandu houses
Keys, that was the key, to make a copy of their house keys first. The older style ones didn't need an impression, just a photograph from a camera, replace the key right back to where it was, and you were all set. The modern 3-d type were a little more complicated, but there were ways around that. The Chinese had come up with the tiny 3d scanners, the scanning took several more seconds than taking a photograph. The longest part of the entire process was creating the 3d prints, creating a mold, and then casting metal in the shape. The latest 3d printers were fast, but not fast enough to match the key-cutting machines. Still, most people acted as if they keys they carried carelessly in their pockets were absolutely inaccessible and protected a giant secure castle.
The rest was easy. Make sure you follow the rich young idiots of the house on instagram and when they're on a vacation, put shoes with high insole, some basic makeup and hair to confuse the cameras and clothes you would never ever be caught otherwise on. Walk in with orange vests, a heart full of confidence, wirecutters and whatever makes you look legit, just load up the pickup truck and walk out. No one questions the orangemen with wirecutters and proper-looking ID's, not even the goddamn homeowners. He had run across house-owners twice, and on both occasions scolded them for not maintaining proper electrical protocols and causing fires in the neighborhood. There hadn't been a single proper report, the police had no clue what they looked like.
The rest was easy. Make sure you follow the rich young idiots of the house on instagram and when they're on a vacation, put shoes with high insole, some basic makeup and hair to confuse the cameras and clothes you would never ever be caught otherwise on. Walk in with orange vests, a heart full of confidence, wirecutters and whatever makes you look legit, just load up the pickup truck and walk out. No one questions the orangemen with wirecutters and proper-looking ID's, not even the goddamn homeowners. He had run across house-owners twice, and on both occasions scolded them for not maintaining proper electrical protocols and causing fires in the neighborhood. There hadn't been a single proper report, the police had no clue what they looked like.
Who lost Tripura?
The cities of Tripura are no more. They were destroyed at a moment by the wrath of Shiva our greatest benefactor. Gone along with the construction is the pond of eternity which has been observed in Swarga -- suggesting that the Devas stole it after the destruction of the three cities.
Assigning blame at this point is not instructive or helpful, considering the various factions have already engaged in conflict for eternity. If we can work back the thread of responsibility, it might be effective to avoid similar situations going forward, and stay ahead of the Devas' various tricks and schemes.
It has been suggested that the destruction was unavoidable, that the holy quarternity unfairly favors the devas, and no matter what course of action is concluded upon and if we were to apply those proactively, the Devas would scheme and tilt the favor of the quarternity in their favor to foil it, one way or the other. It's suggested that they are willing to break the fundamental cosmic metaphysical laws in order to gain an upper hand over us. That may be true, but resigning ourselves to the fact is rather fatalistic and not constructive here. Additionally, despite the fact the universal die is so overwhelmingly tilted in their favor, no matter how pious or virtuous or kind or honest or fair we act, our existence is not only tolerated generally but we are allowed to thrive. That suggests we are at least given a fighting chance, and this will be an exploration in optimizing our gains within the 'fighting chance' that we have been given.
First, that the Gods have access to the pond of immortality is a big threat to our future conquests. Still, they have had access to similar resources in the past and we have successfully made advances and conquered their domains on several occasions. Our existing strategy to target the greatest sources of their rejuvenation on our initial assault seems to be the best approach against their newfound weapons. While we must not underestimate our enemies, that they have been blessed with invulnerable tools and still fallen to us on many many occasions speaks to their incompetence and the value of our existing tactics for military assault on their capital.
Second, that our greatest ally, benefactor, and provider was used to cause our destruction should be of the highest concern, and be in consideration in the future. The reason Tripurantak (the destroyer of the three cities, as they are calling him now, which we will follow) was obliged to attack us can be attributed to the deviance from proper dharma and order. Piousness decreased, virtuosity disappeared and the rule of law order and fairness went completely out of the window. So much so that even Indra's domain were fairer than those under us. The pond of agelessness an immortality has been suggested as the cause -- the elderly who refused to go away with their age began extending their influence and wealth across the domains and only hoarding and increasing whatever they had gained in their natural lifetimes. As time went on, those that were on the older side became a larger and larger portion of the population, and their rejection of any sort of change, vitality, and growth caused rigidness with our social policies. Considering the fair just and citizen-centric policies we have adapted, they were successful in using our greatest strength of equality against us, by creating an asymmetry of power between the older and the wealthy that are less open to new policies, and those that are less fortunate.
Finally, our greatest vulnerability appears to have been the boon of immortality that was granted to our entire race. While over several millennia it allowed us to thrive and grow and extend our territories, it created a societal devolution in our values and the principles we hold dear, those that make us superior versus the devas. Since we had never before been granted a set of circumstances that approached immortality so closely, this was not an anticipated effect. We are in the process of drafting regulations and guiding principles to organize our societies if and when we have access to immortality again.
An alternative is to not seek immortality for all individuals, valuing the immortality of our beliefs and system, or societies and people over it, since this experience suggests that all else remaining constant, those two are in conflict.
Assigning blame at this point is not instructive or helpful, considering the various factions have already engaged in conflict for eternity. If we can work back the thread of responsibility, it might be effective to avoid similar situations going forward, and stay ahead of the Devas' various tricks and schemes.
It has been suggested that the destruction was unavoidable, that the holy quarternity unfairly favors the devas, and no matter what course of action is concluded upon and if we were to apply those proactively, the Devas would scheme and tilt the favor of the quarternity in their favor to foil it, one way or the other. It's suggested that they are willing to break the fundamental cosmic metaphysical laws in order to gain an upper hand over us. That may be true, but resigning ourselves to the fact is rather fatalistic and not constructive here. Additionally, despite the fact the universal die is so overwhelmingly tilted in their favor, no matter how pious or virtuous or kind or honest or fair we act, our existence is not only tolerated generally but we are allowed to thrive. That suggests we are at least given a fighting chance, and this will be an exploration in optimizing our gains within the 'fighting chance' that we have been given.
First, that the Gods have access to the pond of immortality is a big threat to our future conquests. Still, they have had access to similar resources in the past and we have successfully made advances and conquered their domains on several occasions. Our existing strategy to target the greatest sources of their rejuvenation on our initial assault seems to be the best approach against their newfound weapons. While we must not underestimate our enemies, that they have been blessed with invulnerable tools and still fallen to us on many many occasions speaks to their incompetence and the value of our existing tactics for military assault on their capital.
Second, that our greatest ally, benefactor, and provider was used to cause our destruction should be of the highest concern, and be in consideration in the future. The reason Tripurantak (the destroyer of the three cities, as they are calling him now, which we will follow) was obliged to attack us can be attributed to the deviance from proper dharma and order. Piousness decreased, virtuosity disappeared and the rule of law order and fairness went completely out of the window. So much so that even Indra's domain were fairer than those under us. The pond of agelessness an immortality has been suggested as the cause -- the elderly who refused to go away with their age began extending their influence and wealth across the domains and only hoarding and increasing whatever they had gained in their natural lifetimes. As time went on, those that were on the older side became a larger and larger portion of the population, and their rejection of any sort of change, vitality, and growth caused rigidness with our social policies. Considering the fair just and citizen-centric policies we have adapted, they were successful in using our greatest strength of equality against us, by creating an asymmetry of power between the older and the wealthy that are less open to new policies, and those that are less fortunate.
Finally, our greatest vulnerability appears to have been the boon of immortality that was granted to our entire race. While over several millennia it allowed us to thrive and grow and extend our territories, it created a societal devolution in our values and the principles we hold dear, those that make us superior versus the devas. Since we had never before been granted a set of circumstances that approached immortality so closely, this was not an anticipated effect. We are in the process of drafting regulations and guiding principles to organize our societies if and when we have access to immortality again.
An alternative is to not seek immortality for all individuals, valuing the immortality of our beliefs and system, or societies and people over it, since this experience suggests that all else remaining constant, those two are in conflict.
On the tribute to Shiva
Bhava is to be. Bavantak is 'the ender of being'. Antya is ending, antak is ender (as in, the one who ends), and antyantak means "the destroyer of the destroyer", commonly interpreted as "the lord of yama [the lord of death]".
This is from here. The devotion poetry is tight with tributes to Shiva, his various forms and deeds. Sort of like a well-written comedy show that has a dozen jokes a minute (thinking 30 rock here), each of which you might miss if you're not paying attention or are unaware of the context. The references work in two levels: they are on a general interesting to those not aware of the full context ('destroyer of destruction', 'destroyer of being'), and also in particular context. For example, pura means a city, so puraantak means 'destroyer of the city', which could reasonably be taken to mean the destroyer of City with capital C, as in he is an anti-urban God, a more primitive form of the deity. If you are aware of the particular context, this city the song refers to is Tripura or "triple cities" that the demons created under the auspices of Shiva that he ended up destroying anyway. Similarly, 'makha' relates closely to the nepali 'makkha' in the sense of 'offerings', 'something to make happy', but in particular sense it's a synonym of 'yagya'. "Makhaantak" could mean that Shiva rejects the traditional Yagya offering made to Gods (which he traditionally does, since he's an outsider, a reject) but in the particular case refers to Daksha Prajapati's Yagya where Shiva is disrespected, and ends the Yagya, kills the organizer (to later replace his head with a Goat's).
The poem is attributed to Ravana. It could be the name of the ten-headed King of Lanka, but we don't get the reference anywhere else. Someone nerdy enough to have squeezed in all the meanings into so few words wouldn't have given up so quit in the attribution. So from this page, ignoring the imposition of ravan-> raavan meaning to the existing meaning and following the chain of existing logic, if ravan is noise raavaan is the cause of the the raucous sound. Perhaps a reference to someone with a particularly loud and annoying voice, someone who annoys people. So it could have been attributed anonymously to 'an anonymous shower singer' so to speak, the over-educated singers for Shiva. This seems to be reasonable because inside the poem it attributes itself to the 'ten mouthed one' (and not the ten-headed one, as is more common). Why the ten mouths and not ten heads? For the verse, but verse can be adjusted to words with particular meanings, not the other way round. "Dashanan' and "dashavaktra' are distinctive words with distinct means, they wouldn't be used and synonyms when there's so many synonyms for each word already. Perhaps it's either referring to someone who's so talkative (or prolific) they might as well talk for ten people. That interpretation also fits with the use of 'ravana', they don't mean to refer to the demon king, they're just calling themselves loud talkative and garrulous. Like a metal band, actually. It's surprisingly appropriate this one's got the metal interpretation on youtube then. Or perhaps it's a collective of poets and singers claiming joint ownership over the work of art? Regardless the attribution to the mustachioed villain of Indian television is completely inaccurate.
This is from here. The devotion poetry is tight with tributes to Shiva, his various forms and deeds. Sort of like a well-written comedy show that has a dozen jokes a minute (thinking 30 rock here), each of which you might miss if you're not paying attention or are unaware of the context. The references work in two levels: they are on a general interesting to those not aware of the full context ('destroyer of destruction', 'destroyer of being'), and also in particular context. For example, pura means a city, so puraantak means 'destroyer of the city', which could reasonably be taken to mean the destroyer of City with capital C, as in he is an anti-urban God, a more primitive form of the deity. If you are aware of the particular context, this city the song refers to is Tripura or "triple cities" that the demons created under the auspices of Shiva that he ended up destroying anyway. Similarly, 'makha' relates closely to the nepali 'makkha' in the sense of 'offerings', 'something to make happy', but in particular sense it's a synonym of 'yagya'. "Makhaantak" could mean that Shiva rejects the traditional Yagya offering made to Gods (which he traditionally does, since he's an outsider, a reject) but in the particular case refers to Daksha Prajapati's Yagya where Shiva is disrespected, and ends the Yagya, kills the organizer (to later replace his head with a Goat's).
The poem is attributed to Ravana. It could be the name of the ten-headed King of Lanka, but we don't get the reference anywhere else. Someone nerdy enough to have squeezed in all the meanings into so few words wouldn't have given up so quit in the attribution. So from this page, ignoring the imposition of ravan-> raavan meaning to the existing meaning and following the chain of existing logic, if ravan is noise raavaan is the cause of the the raucous sound. Perhaps a reference to someone with a particularly loud and annoying voice, someone who annoys people. So it could have been attributed anonymously to 'an anonymous shower singer' so to speak, the over-educated singers for Shiva. This seems to be reasonable because inside the poem it attributes itself to the 'ten mouthed one' (and not the ten-headed one, as is more common). Why the ten mouths and not ten heads? For the verse, but verse can be adjusted to words with particular meanings, not the other way round. "Dashanan' and "dashavaktra' are distinctive words with distinct means, they wouldn't be used and synonyms when there's so many synonyms for each word already. Perhaps it's either referring to someone who's so talkative (or prolific) they might as well talk for ten people. That interpretation also fits with the use of 'ravana', they don't mean to refer to the demon king, they're just calling themselves loud talkative and garrulous. Like a metal band, actually. It's surprisingly appropriate this one's got the metal interpretation on youtube then. Or perhaps it's a collective of poets and singers claiming joint ownership over the work of art? Regardless the attribution to the mustachioed villain of Indian television is completely inaccurate.
A letter to Pashupati
Oh mighty Shiva,
Why do you treat us your devotees, your sons and daughters, your most passionate supporters and lovers, with such mistrust? We dedicate our lives and death to you, oh ultimate creator and destroyer, the only one, the destroyer of the Triple Cities, the snake-wearer, the holder of Ganga. We are your children and we ask for nothing but your love and mercy, and in our deaths to be one with your essence. Oh merciful one, save us, bless us.
Then the three sons of Taraka used their great passion and asceticism to gain the favor of the Grandfather, they wanted nothing but victory over the Swarga. When the Grandfather denied it, they agreed to be destroyed only by your hands, knowing you, our lord our father our savior, would show mercy towards us. We would never take any actions to raise your ire, we knew.
And yet, you let the Gods play tricks on us, oh lord!
First, the Gods feared the virtuosity of the sons of Taraka and realized the only way to kill them would be to corrupt them, thus getting your ire upon them. They worked on corrupting the virtuous souls.
Second, they realized that the easiest means to corrupt the great is immorality, which the Grandfather has never agreed to grant for it is against the metaphysics of the creation. They convinced the Grandfather to offer it to the sons of Taraka, when it was not their original intention. And thus all Demons became immortal for ages, letting the power associated to get into their heads. And thus were the honest and the virtuous corrupted by a boon they never desired to begin with.
And third, after the fall of the Tripura due to your wish and laughter, oh Tripurantak, the Devas decided to steal the pool of immortality from the Triple Cities, for which the entire Demonic race had given its existence for. The Demons were corrupted, and destroyed, for obtaining immortality. And yet the Gods that stole it after the war and benefit from it were never punished. Indra, despite his foolishness, his hotheadedness, his lack of gratitude, his jealousy his lack of respect to Dharma, still gets your favor. And the pool of immortality still graces the gardens of heaven.
How is it that the Gods are rewarded for the same thing we were so harshly punished for? Is our love, our worship, our dedication not sufficient? Is our dedication impure, are our hearts inherently evil, Oh Maha Kaleshwar? What is it that we have done wrong that the Devas do right? Why are they your favored children and we are not, even though we have our realms be fair and just to all the creatures within.
What must we do to be in your good graces, oh Bhooteshwar?
-Signed,
A devoted demon
Why do you treat us your devotees, your sons and daughters, your most passionate supporters and lovers, with such mistrust? We dedicate our lives and death to you, oh ultimate creator and destroyer, the only one, the destroyer of the Triple Cities, the snake-wearer, the holder of Ganga. We are your children and we ask for nothing but your love and mercy, and in our deaths to be one with your essence. Oh merciful one, save us, bless us.
Then the three sons of Taraka used their great passion and asceticism to gain the favor of the Grandfather, they wanted nothing but victory over the Swarga. When the Grandfather denied it, they agreed to be destroyed only by your hands, knowing you, our lord our father our savior, would show mercy towards us. We would never take any actions to raise your ire, we knew.
And yet, you let the Gods play tricks on us, oh lord!
First, the Gods feared the virtuosity of the sons of Taraka and realized the only way to kill them would be to corrupt them, thus getting your ire upon them. They worked on corrupting the virtuous souls.
Second, they realized that the easiest means to corrupt the great is immorality, which the Grandfather has never agreed to grant for it is against the metaphysics of the creation. They convinced the Grandfather to offer it to the sons of Taraka, when it was not their original intention. And thus all Demons became immortal for ages, letting the power associated to get into their heads. And thus were the honest and the virtuous corrupted by a boon they never desired to begin with.
And third, after the fall of the Tripura due to your wish and laughter, oh Tripurantak, the Devas decided to steal the pool of immortality from the Triple Cities, for which the entire Demonic race had given its existence for. The Demons were corrupted, and destroyed, for obtaining immortality. And yet the Gods that stole it after the war and benefit from it were never punished. Indra, despite his foolishness, his hotheadedness, his lack of gratitude, his jealousy his lack of respect to Dharma, still gets your favor. And the pool of immortality still graces the gardens of heaven.
How is it that the Gods are rewarded for the same thing we were so harshly punished for? Is our love, our worship, our dedication not sufficient? Is our dedication impure, are our hearts inherently evil, Oh Maha Kaleshwar? What is it that we have done wrong that the Devas do right? Why are they your favored children and we are not, even though we have our realms be fair and just to all the creatures within.
What must we do to be in your good graces, oh Bhooteshwar?
-Signed,
A devoted demon
Over veggied fried rice day [Sunday 19]
Sunday, second day of the 3-day weekend. Fully rested and the only thing left was to cover up on posts that I hadn't worked on for the past three days. Got up, spent two hours on youtube and then wrote like 10 posts, made a complicated and very oily friend rice, ate the fried rice shared it with roommate PK and semi-roommate I (temp roommate is moving out soon, so he wasn't around), watched bits and parts of Parasite with them, talked to them, wrote more, cleaned up the room, talked to friends talked to family, ate fried rice with sour cream (not as yucky as it might sound!), cleaned up, wrote more posts, distracted myself from writing by going to youtube, went to bed at a bit after midnight.
Should have gone to do groceries and just waked about town but ended up not doing because I was too lazy. Haven't even started on the past 5 days of personal journal. Working on that now.
Should have gone to do groceries and just waked about town but ended up not doing because I was too lazy. Haven't even started on the past 5 days of personal journal. Working on that now.
A day in Dewick
Spending the day today at Tufts dining. Got here half an hour too late for breakfast, which meant it was twice as expensive but bleh, will make it up by taking home fruits.
Here's what I like about this configuration: so many people to see, so many conversations to overhear, so many different sort of people to observe, so many different foods to eat (multiple entrees of different types, I'd never be able to eat them individually over an entire month), and so many new sauces and additives to try. Also, so many friends to make! Not that I've done that mind you, but the potential's there, which is always a great opportunity to have.
The only problem with this is I always end up eating. So much potato, so much pizza, so many sandwiches all of them so good, so many fruits, so many dinner entrees, so many desserts, the variety, the flavor, the texture ooof. What a great deal what a great opportunity. I mean it's definitely not worth the almost twenty bucks for dinner if you're not taking a several pounds of high-quality fruits home, but that's got more to do with ballooning university prices and not the inflation in food prices which is surprisingly manageable. And the variety in the drinks yoo! I have had four different classes of drinks by now, and there's many hours to go.
I haven't even gotten started about the desserts too. Now I want to eat some cookies and milk, brownies, fudge pudding and ahh so much more, this is wild, the unlimited choice. At least there's no choice paralysis, I'll just choose everything shamelessly. Probably not going to be burning the calories sometimes you have to take the hit.
Here's what I like about this configuration: so many people to see, so many conversations to overhear, so many different sort of people to observe, so many different foods to eat (multiple entrees of different types, I'd never be able to eat them individually over an entire month), and so many new sauces and additives to try. Also, so many friends to make! Not that I've done that mind you, but the potential's there, which is always a great opportunity to have.
The only problem with this is I always end up eating. So much potato, so much pizza, so many sandwiches all of them so good, so many fruits, so many dinner entrees, so many desserts, the variety, the flavor, the texture ooof. What a great deal what a great opportunity. I mean it's definitely not worth the almost twenty bucks for dinner if you're not taking a several pounds of high-quality fruits home, but that's got more to do with ballooning university prices and not the inflation in food prices which is surprisingly manageable. And the variety in the drinks yoo! I have had four different classes of drinks by now, and there's many hours to go.
I haven't even gotten started about the desserts too. Now I want to eat some cookies and milk, brownies, fudge pudding and ahh so much more, this is wild, the unlimited choice. At least there's no choice paralysis, I'll just choose everything shamelessly. Probably not going to be burning the calories sometimes you have to take the hit.
Our only Pokhara trip
[fic.]
Those were the days, despite the way we lived. We lived like a family, with the boys.
Those from the Valley would crash with us in the weekends, often to spend time with their girlfriends. Which meant a grand party for us the next weekend. The nearby butcher was our friend, we'd get discounted goat mean which was mostly just bones in retrospect but he gave us the first pick of the cheap meat and cheap chicken meat and I haven't had that much chicken and rice ever since. We became experts in cooking chicken and rice, potatoes, golbheda ko achaar, and after the first year, green leafy vegetables. After Ashok got ill, the doctor said he didn't have enough minerals in his diet and that scared the shit out of us all because we never cooked or ate saag ever because that was the sort of thing they forced you to eat, not something you made by your own volition. We started cooking a lot healthier the second year, even had fruits once or twice a week, eggs a couple of times, and it felt like we had been all grown up. Our parties started becoming less ratchet more adultlike, the cheap vodka and rum were replaced by cheap whiskey and beers, people started bringing booze and other gifts to our parties, the decorations on our walls came up, thanks to the girlfriends who wanted to be seen at a more respectable place.
We were too poor to go out of valley, to pay for the hotel rooms while we were still paying our rent was ridiculous to us then. There was this one time we went to Pokhara and then to the base camp that everyone remembers from the time because that was the only time we went on a large extended trip. There are so many stories from the trip, so many photos were taken they still make the rounds after all these years and people ask me if it was recent. The way that trip was planned was really absurd. A friend of a friend's parents owned a hotel in Pokhara, we didn't really know who he was, and somehow three hotel rooms were arranged. All we knew was 'free hotel', and so we showed up there, the eighteen of us in the three rooms a body in every available surface. If you wanted a comfortable space to lay down, you either needed to party all night long and wait for the boys to go out for breakfast, or just not party in which case they wouldn't let you sleep anyway for being such a spoilsport. Those latenight bullshit conversations about college, the future what we wanted to do, girlfriends, families, and just shooting the shit, that was when I got to know those guys intimately. The trip was supposed to have been seven days long and it ended up at twenty-two days, but that's a story for a different time. What I will give away is it involved multiple rescue parties, a helicopter, army and police dispatch to search for us, and us acting stupidly even by our low low standards. Oh and I almost got to have sex then too, that was possibly the reason why I went along with everyone else's bullshit. You could make an entire novel out of how we all ended up there, and how things turned out, a total comedy of errors, maybe I should write that some day. And that was also the time Greta told me how much she cared for me, and -- this is important -- that she loved me. My body was light as a bird.
Every year for three weeks those of us that went on the trip share stories on the chat groups, and every year I'm discovering something new. You would get out an entire season of slapstick comedy if you filmed every episode from a different character's view.
Those were the days, despite the way we lived. We lived like a family, with the boys.
Those from the Valley would crash with us in the weekends, often to spend time with their girlfriends. Which meant a grand party for us the next weekend. The nearby butcher was our friend, we'd get discounted goat mean which was mostly just bones in retrospect but he gave us the first pick of the cheap meat and cheap chicken meat and I haven't had that much chicken and rice ever since. We became experts in cooking chicken and rice, potatoes, golbheda ko achaar, and after the first year, green leafy vegetables. After Ashok got ill, the doctor said he didn't have enough minerals in his diet and that scared the shit out of us all because we never cooked or ate saag ever because that was the sort of thing they forced you to eat, not something you made by your own volition. We started cooking a lot healthier the second year, even had fruits once or twice a week, eggs a couple of times, and it felt like we had been all grown up. Our parties started becoming less ratchet more adultlike, the cheap vodka and rum were replaced by cheap whiskey and beers, people started bringing booze and other gifts to our parties, the decorations on our walls came up, thanks to the girlfriends who wanted to be seen at a more respectable place.
We were too poor to go out of valley, to pay for the hotel rooms while we were still paying our rent was ridiculous to us then. There was this one time we went to Pokhara and then to the base camp that everyone remembers from the time because that was the only time we went on a large extended trip. There are so many stories from the trip, so many photos were taken they still make the rounds after all these years and people ask me if it was recent. The way that trip was planned was really absurd. A friend of a friend's parents owned a hotel in Pokhara, we didn't really know who he was, and somehow three hotel rooms were arranged. All we knew was 'free hotel', and so we showed up there, the eighteen of us in the three rooms a body in every available surface. If you wanted a comfortable space to lay down, you either needed to party all night long and wait for the boys to go out for breakfast, or just not party in which case they wouldn't let you sleep anyway for being such a spoilsport. Those latenight bullshit conversations about college, the future what we wanted to do, girlfriends, families, and just shooting the shit, that was when I got to know those guys intimately. The trip was supposed to have been seven days long and it ended up at twenty-two days, but that's a story for a different time. What I will give away is it involved multiple rescue parties, a helicopter, army and police dispatch to search for us, and us acting stupidly even by our low low standards. Oh and I almost got to have sex then too, that was possibly the reason why I went along with everyone else's bullshit. You could make an entire novel out of how we all ended up there, and how things turned out, a total comedy of errors, maybe I should write that some day. And that was also the time Greta told me how much she cared for me, and -- this is important -- that she loved me. My body was light as a bird.
Every year for three weeks those of us that went on the trip share stories on the chat groups, and every year I'm discovering something new. You would get out an entire season of slapstick comedy if you filmed every episode from a different character's view.
20th Century Cinemas
20th century fox is changing it's name to 20th century cinemas, the name it had originally before it merged with Fox pictures in 1936. It's inaccurate to call it as 'going back to its roots' really, because that was a long time ago, and it's not really 'roots' anymore as a 'long lost ancestor everyone's forgotten about really who they will remember only when something good comes up and they can get free cookie points for them'. Still, good for them, because anytime I see that iconic logo in the movies, I'm reminded there's the word 'Fox' in there, which must somehow be related to the despicable news channel and website that publishes pure propaganda trash but at least it's doing its part in taking down the American empire. So that's great. I don't think it's actually intentional though and there's kind of the fact that they'd very happily welcome fascism if they could and are limited only by their robust institutions that they're weakening anyway. Still, if the demolition of an empire means the imperial capital turns into a fascist state, that's probably the price worth paying right? Oh god, these are scary times, make no mistake about it.
And that's the end of it I think. I wrote the previous paragraph completely stressed out zoned out inattentive and um while smiling at and talking to someone I don't know at all, and they said, ohh is there anything else you wanted to say I'm going and I said Umm noo I think I'm sorry and they went and so there I am like always wondering if I should have said something but who knows this is a strange world there are things, people make mistakes, miscommunication is rampant and generally it's an awful place to be out there talking to random strangers not because they're awful or anything but the various mistakes you could make that'll make you feel bad about yourself and things that could have been. To live is to suffer, is life worth the suffering it brings along with it? It's commonly thought that it is indeed very much worth it but sometimes you have to wonder, the embarrassment, the self-loathing and the blaming yourself on not doing obvious things and then sometimes doing things that in retrospect you should have obviously not done, are they really worth all of it. These are difficult questions yikes, I should be around more human beings generally speaking.
And that's the end of it I think. I wrote the previous paragraph completely stressed out zoned out inattentive and um while smiling at and talking to someone I don't know at all, and they said, ohh is there anything else you wanted to say I'm going and I said Umm noo I think I'm sorry and they went and so there I am like always wondering if I should have said something but who knows this is a strange world there are things, people make mistakes, miscommunication is rampant and generally it's an awful place to be out there talking to random strangers not because they're awful or anything but the various mistakes you could make that'll make you feel bad about yourself and things that could have been. To live is to suffer, is life worth the suffering it brings along with it? It's commonly thought that it is indeed very much worth it but sometimes you have to wonder, the embarrassment, the self-loathing and the blaming yourself on not doing obvious things and then sometimes doing things that in retrospect you should have obviously not done, are they really worth all of it. These are difficult questions yikes, I should be around more human beings generally speaking.
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