Worked from home because everyone else was doing it and because I wanted to go to Tufts to eat their breakfast lunch dinner at cheap prices. Woke up quite early after having gone to bed (and actually fallen asleep) by 7PM the earlier evening, and then again at 10PM. Spent the free time talking to a new friend, and the conversations went on for so long I felt lazy enough to not go to Tufts. Instead just worked from home home the whole day. Had a leftover lunch in the afternoon, and went to bed again quite early in the evening. Didn't do any of the workouts or the checklist plans because was groggy with the sleep all day long. Have started realizing that the biggest hindrance to all my plans, hopes desires ambitions and visions for a happy fulfilled successful future is by bed, my reasonably comfortable, warm comfy bed that won't let me get out of it. I have devised methods to convince myself to go on a schedule after getting out of it, but I haven't yet found a method to get myself out of it.
This is a good place to discuss how things used to be different, back in the day. Back in my mid-to-late teens, I got up at 5am in the cold, shivered my way out took a cold shower and started studying hardcore before the break of the dawn. My bed was still comfortable then, but it was much harder to be lazy inside the bunk bed, and also I didn't have my cellphone or laptop to distract me on the bed. Sure I could have read novel inside the covers but it just didn't feel as good as going out talking to folks, and just feeling fresh. The feeling of accomplishment and reward by getting up early and doing things amounted to more than the feeling of reward I got by sleeping in. Now, that I sleep or wake up has so little influence on how my days go that it feels difficult to justify even getting out of the bed for the whole weekend. Take this very weekend for example. It's Sunday evening and I haven't gotten out of my apartment since I got back from work Thursday night. Friday I cancelled the Tufts plans and Saturday the going-out plan was cancelled due to the weather. Still thinking of going out of the house today, after completing a reasonable proportion of back-posts for the day, but to what end? What do I have to accomplish, I keep asking myself. And that's the root of the problem. I have made rules for a lot of things (eg.writing letters, writing posts), for me to do them because "I must", but haven't yet gotten myself into a state of mind where 'get up early in the morning and go to bed early' are done for the sake of doing them. The full-on disciplined mindset is still being formed, routine is on its way. I can't wait to get there.
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