Defeating the lazy annoying voice inside my head

Just give up, just give up, just give up, This is not worth it, there's nothing productive you're doing anyway and you're no closer to your book than you were a year ago. And see how much fun it's to just nap instead of writing and working your ass off all the time. To what end, this is no worth it. This is a waste of time, what are you even doing, wasting your time doing this, a voice inside me tells me. This is the same voice that makes me sleep for four hours beyond wakeup every weekend morning despite having had a proper night's sleep, the same voice that convinces me to stay home on weekends that I've tightly planned for, the same voice that forces me to abandon my entire weeks when I have the most at stake. This voice, somewhere in the back of my head, on the left, makes my eyes heavy but won't let me sleep always, makes me not want to clean my room, makes me realize it's dark and cold outside what's the point anyway it's not like I would be doing anything anyway. This is the same voice that doesn't want me to talk to my friends and family even though I'm not doing anything productive. This is the very same voice that makes me not get out of bed on days I work from home, the same voice that convinces me to abandon cooking and abandon all the cool projects I work on, the save voice that hinders my story-writing plans and reading and research projects.

And yet I'm here. I'm writing and I'll be writing three/four days worth of posts today likely, and most definitely by tomorrow. How am I here? How have I overcome that annoying voice inside me? The answer, I'm very happy to report is Discipline. Because I've been doing it for so long and I've enjoyed doing it I want to keep doing it I like the post count increasing I love that there's something to show for everyday in the last four or five months I love it that whenever someone asks what personal projects I've been up to I can proudly tell them I've been writing several thousand words every day for the past five months. Are these words any good ? bleh. Immaterial. Like I've said over and over and over again, what I'm doing right now is to permanently kill that voice from inside my head, and instead establish a more sensible reasonable voice that tells me to go to bed on time but also get up on time, to get reading and writing and socializing because those are the things I have always done because I enjoy doing them and I must keep doing them. A more mature, adult, responsible voice that cannot be undone by a day or two of rainy weather or stormy season. We need an adult man in the room, and we're getting one!

So the project's working you all, my aim of turning myself into a mature disciplined adult who doesn't give in easily to lazy instincts is coming up pretty well. It's not like I've completely vanquished my more lame instincts, but I've learned to more quickly recover from them, and it's going to go on and on and on.

Huzzah!