As has been the trend for posts in these pages, the contents of this post are going to be quite embarrassing and humiliating a little bit, but we're over that phase and one needs to put in the hours and commitment into writing something, and this is an honest statement of one's internal mental state so here we go. It's possible I've written on this before.
It appears that the lack of availability one one's part socially gives one the confidence to do things one might otherwise not have, and makes one desirable to certain kinds of folks more so than the baseline would otherwise have been. I discovered this (it's been a known fact for at least 2k years) through the situation with AR(e). So now there's the possibility of convincing oneself that there's nothing to worry about, there's a set situation out there in the West and nothing's going to be wrong and dancing with strangers and hanging out with them after in the park and going to get hodogs (not a big fan as I've previously said) could be just friendly behavior from an extraordinary nice and kind person than something interesting and wild, you know? Why does everything have to mean something, and why can't you just linger in the grayzone with people you don't even know too well, all you know about them is the sort of music they will dance to, the eagerness of theirs to dance to music and meet strangers and talk to them, and uh that's it, maybe you have a vague sense of idea about the sort of friends they hang out with on weekend events.
So it's self-deceptin' time? Is it possible? Something worth considering?
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