Frequently asked questions about the big red ball of fire hurtling rapidly at us

Q. Is this the end of humanity as we know it?

A. Not if you give me a free bacilli on dollars, all of your underpaid labor and blood and sweat so I may be able to fly away rockets by the dozens to other planets with billionaires and hot supermodels so one day humanity may live again! Send-Me. Tour. Money, Guys! For. Reals.

 

Q. Is there literally nothing to do to save us?

A. Mm maybe take a chill pill there but, don't want to off yourself due to stroke before this becomes a big deal yeah? Like save your breath, save your months and years, and give me all you own and more so I might be able to try to do something Kay? Don't be shy, chop chop get on it man!

 

Q. Can I like at least die in peace? STFU, can you?

A. Dear sir allow me to express my humble opinion that nobody in the world is as oppressed as rich white billionaires who are super geniuses and run multiple companies and basically control the popular culture. Due to those reasons I get the strong reason and urge to be heard, so I'll keep expressing. my ideas and opinions in public. If you don't like them, GT FO!

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