It's quite clear I've got the Monday blues at this point. As in, on Mondays I can't do yoga, I can't write, I can't barely go on walks. That's because Sundays I don't give a rat's ass as I'm still not over the weekend. Monday's there to cover up for the weekend, I think. Gonna finish all my work then and then think about what comes next. Come Monday, nothing gets done, lots more to do, and there's not enough energy from the weekend to take me to walk and write and so forth. So I avoid walking to write, but get no writing done because I'm freaking out. Instead, I nap, I chill, I call family and friends. I will do literally anything to avoid walking, meditating and writing. The very things that ground me. Because the anxiety of existence is too much, because the expectations from the day are overwhelming. Because I've lost sight of the week, and control of my plan and career already. I've already surrendered, given up my dreams and desires for the week by Monday. The rest of the week is just basically recovering from that goddamn day.
I need to get better with Mondays. For realz.
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