Love, Marriage, Carriage, etcetera

Low-quality ramblings on recent events upcoming. I have to complete yesterday's posts (including the daily journal, and today's entirety of posts, so quality will suffer. Apologies.

In Friday night's party, someone brought up marriages, parents, wedding pressures, age gap between partners, how to tire your parents out, boyfriends girlfriends introducing your parents, and the kind. The conclusion was parents generally don't know what you want even though they generally have your good in heart.

AP suggested that women were okay were dating older men (by a decade or more) if there was honesty about the power differential on all sides, and no one was going around being creepy and all about that. It was brought up that someone had dated an older partner (multiple people actually, by quite a few years too) and the partner was embarrassed about their age, and would generally avoid that conversation, being vague and confusing about it. That's exactly what I do, but with no partners, boo hoo hoo, so I'm just a general liar with no cause.

With marriages and what my compadres like to call 'arranged marriages', someone said that parents were okay interested in the person and their interests etcetera, and more interested in how many houses their families had in kathmandu and where, and what degrees they had and where they were planning to migrate. Which is fine, from a very struggle-y working backgrounds, but for the upper-middle-class and the elites that we happen to be in the Nepali context, that sounds almost comically absurd to me at least because those variables are not what you need to worry about because such things tend to take care of themselves generally.

My complaint was (is) that such matches are not at all about the persons involved but more aimed towards the consolidation of wealth, power, prestige. And I don't necessarily strictly judge people who are into that, it seems to me to be a little small-minded. To put it very wrongly and snobbishly, such class insecurity and consciousness is very middle-class, and unbecoming of people's friends and families who have done quite well at least within the Nepali context.