No one had ever told Raju that he was an idiot which is why it was a surprise to him that sunny Sunday in Sundarijal when Sweta told that to his face. What was surprising and disappointing to Raju was that he considered Sweta to be a good friend of his. Being told that in person in front of dozens of people was a bit of a shock. Even worse was that he assumed she was drunk and it was the alcohol speaking and not his dear friend who he had known for many years, she clarified the next day it wasn't the alcohol it had merely lowered her inhibitions she was bound to have told those things to him at some point anyway and she was not at all sorry for hurting his feelings or whatever she had just told him what she thought was the truth and how everyone else saw t.
He was still confused. He asked sweta what his crime was, what gods he had displeased to earn her ire and how he could make up to her. It's not about me, you don't understand it's not just about me it's about everything and I'm not sure if you can fix it just like that, she told him. He said he still wanted to know what was up and how he could fix if it was a personal weakness of his.
So she told him.
He was mean arrogant and didn't listen to others, she told him. He was eager to share the random bullshit, true or not, that he read on the internet over people's views and opinions he spoke over them talking about their days and feelings and emotions and rather just wanted to get on with his random mix bag of trivia learned from the internet that honestly no one gave a rat's ass about except him. He constantly spoke over others, didn't give anyone else a chance to say anything, could not hold a proper conversation without losing his head, got angry real fast, didn't listen to other people's advice, took it personally when someone suggested something to him and held a personal vendetta against anyone who had ever wronged him. Ever ever ever. His grudges lasted long and he wouldn't let them go even if that meant creating a lot of difficulties for other people around him. And so on and on and on. She didn't want to contnue.
Raju thought about the things Sweta told him. He realized they were all true, he had thought about them before but always considered them fundamental personality traits of himself that he couldn't change and needn't anyway because it was not like they were annoying or bothering anyone. So that couldn't have been right. If he wanted to be a better person, a more beloved person who it seemed everyone despised at this point, he would need to get rid of those habits and be more considerate and accommodating of other people's needs and voices. He needed to listen more and talk less, understand more and express less, appreciate more and impress less. He needed to be a listener, offer empathy and sympathy where required and not be a questioning judge of truth and morality for they hadn't agreed to appoint him as such. He didn't need to be a martyr to his bullshit beliefs and random opinions he had formed in his adolescence, he needed to fucking grow up and learn to interact with other humans like a goddamn grown up.
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