The confession [2]

Badri was still sobbing. Shanker offered his bottle of iced water. After gulping it down in one breathe, he gasped for air, and settled down. He took long breaths. Counted down from ten. Counted up to twenty. Long breaths. Stretched his body. He felt better.

Tell me now, why are you bawling your eyes out, you look traumatized man. I know it's not something awful, it's something I can handle, but you need to tell me what's up before I can help you okay, because it's not something I take care of on a daily basis. Just tell me man, just tell me what's up, Shanker said, in a rather irritated voice.

Okay. Okay. Long breath. I feel much better now. And man, you know what I totally trust you. Not that it matters much anyway but I trust you okay, always remember that that you were the first person I told this shit to. Anyway...so you know how his family and my family are friends...And and we're...we're contractors...and land stuff..So anyway...I overheard my dad talk to his friends the other day...and I read the papers a few days ago...And I connected the dots. I'm honestly...honestly man it took me a long fucking time to connect the dots I tell you a long fucking time but now I know what it all means and everything I ever saw and how people interacted with me makes sense and it's so overwhelming and everything I've just never...never thought about this and I don't know how to handle this and it's strange really something I'd only seen in movies and even then they don't show how the character deals with it you know they just skip over the learning part and jump straight over to the cinematic fun parts that you pay the money for so I'd never...never really..you know thought about how to think and deal with these things, not even my wildest fucking dreams man really so it's a little weird and it'll take me some time to get used to but I think I'll get used to it, Badri said, wiping his nose with his sweater sleeve.

What happened? What did you discover? Is it something you can tell me or would you rather not tell me that. To be honest if it's your super duper family secret man, I'd rather not find out, but if it's something anyone will know, I don't mind hearing, Shanker said, fully knowing what was about to unfold. He thanked all the gods for making him experienced enough to handle this for the second time. He was glad this was in the 'guide book' so to speak, he wasn't coming at this from nowhere.

So anyway, everyone always treated me like a king or a prince you know when I was younger even people who I thought wouldn't. Like surprisingly so, even in places where they would rather you follow the rules, you know? I thought it was just that they loved me, or that perhaps my family was really well respected, and never gave it much thought. Because when you are a child you think the whole world's like your own world and you don't care too much about how people are treating you versus treating others. Welll...I started noticing more weird things later enough, like when people found out who I was they wouldn't be willing to take money from me in restaurants or whatever, or even cabs which was so weird, but I was like, wow my dad's done so many people a favor. So anyway, I find out people fear him and my family and Raj's family more than love and respect or revere, so that's the end of it honestly, there's nothing to know more, that's it and it's kind of a bummer that it's the reason, not that I'm going to go into my family's line of business or anything, I just wish they did something better, that's all. That's the end of it, Badri said, with a sense of finality.